I'm a very jealous guy, what to do? This makes feel bad to my partner and me but I don't know how to control it

I'm a very jealous guy, what to do? This makes feel bad to my partner and me but I don't know how to control it

Roll with it. Some people are jealous, some are not, red fish blue fish, etc. Some might even like your jealousy because it means you want to keep them around.

Tell her you're a jealous person but usually jealousy comes from a place of insecurity which means that you are either insecure as a person or your partner does something to make you insecure. Try to be more confident and work towards it. Let your partner know though, they should know about what's going on with you in your life

I hope that, but I doubt it

Thanks, man. You're right about everything you said. I told her about my jealous recently, waiting for her response.

I never think I am until I really fall for someone which is fairly rare. Then once they're gone for a while I'm back to not giving a shit and being kind of aloof. I like it better that way. It's a hard thing to control when you're neck deep in it user. Also it's a bit of a slippery slope because it kind of depends on weather it's justified or just pure insecurity on your part. This is also hard to tell when your in the thick of the relationship and your feels have taken over your rational thought at least to some extent. If you have a friend to talk who knows you well and can be honest and objective about it it's a huge help.

>I never think I am until I really fall for someone which is fairly rare

This guy gets it

Just face your jealously head on and get over it. Start by 'accidentally' sending one of her nudes to a friend. You'll be jerking over the thought of it for weeks.

Fuck, are you me? But if I cut contact with her for a while she will think that I don't care about her, it already happened to me

Would this actually help?

Post her here first. Get a taste for sharing your girl anonymously. Damn near everyone else does it.

No, he actually just wants to make you feel bad about it. You'll regret sending your girlfriend's nudes to other people.

I think you misunderstood me. I meant that when the relationship goes tits up after some time I look back and don't give a shit anymore. It's just strange because you think well gee what was all that fuss about? And you don't even care if they were cheating or anything. The don't really exist anymore. For me when I got jealous I had a relative to talk to who knows me well enough to tell if it was justified or just me being a faggot. What are some things she does that actually make you jealous? Or is it just completely random? They do like to shit test you and can be very subtle about it. Us dudes are often a little slow in picking up on that.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

She's very sexual so sometimes she gets compliments on fb and she flirts a little. Or she talk to me about her past sexual stories, shit like that. Besides, she's model for an art class so sometimes posts nudes on instagram.

If she flirts a little, find another girl bro. This won't end well.
Being very sexual is okay, as long as you're sure she's only very sexual with you.

Well shit yeah that'll do it. Look you can call me terminally un hip or whatever but I think the whole flirting on social media thing is pretty shit. It's often a double standard too. For instance if you flirt your ass of with a bunch of chicks and rub it in her face would she just laugh it off? Probably not.

Here's an idea. If she's a total slut just have fun fucking her and doing all sorts of weird shit to her for a good while then dump her before she dumps you. Beat her to the punch.

Harsh but true, thanks.

I know, she's also really jealous and somewhat insecure about her looks. Sometimes she says that feels ugly.

There ya go then. I went through that shit a while back. Two years of having my head and heart fucked with. When I look back it was probably worse than I could have imagined. Tons of orbiters and all kinds of things she said that didn't add up that I brushed aside to not seam possessive. See that's how they get you too. If you dare to call her out on her slutty behaviour and double standards you're being possessive and emotionally abusive. Silencing tactics. They really can be manipulative cunts like that. In the end the bitch ran off with one of the orbiters she told me not to worry about.

Sorry to hear that, man. This has let me thinking, I don't want to go through something like that.

Yeah I told you that as a warning. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Nothing feels quite like that knife in the back. And you really kick yourself if you ignore red flags along the way and they come to bite you in the ass when she leaves you standing there in the dust with your dick in the wind. If that were me I wouldn't like those early signs that you described at all. And you're on here feeling bad about being jealous. Well who did that to you? Who made you feel guilty about being concerned about what any normal guy with self respect would be concerned about? See how manipulative that is?

This is fucking true, I shouldn't be feeling bad about my jealous caused by her slutty behaviour. When we were still friends she lied to me about not having fucked some guy, years later I discovered that indeed she fucked him, twice. Now I feel like a complete idiot.

Ah yes this sound so familiar. That's where it started to go wrong with my ex too. Similar anyway, she told me about this guy she'd met online before me and they just had a date and walked around and talked and shit. Later she told me that she just went to his condo and got fucked silly and didn't even know his name. It really bothered me but at the same time I wanted to be understanding in that ok maybe she was embarrassed about it. She even fed me the line "I lied because I love you." Anyway so I let that slide and apologized and grovelled. Then other things kept coming up that didn't add up at all. It got more and more strange and she grew ever more evasive and made up ridiculous stories as to why she couldn't see me in the last month. Then she says we should take a break for a while because she wants to focus on her kid. I hold back my feels and tell her that's ok I understand. How am I going to argue against the kid coming first. Stupid me I think how commendable and good for her. A month later I find out she's engaged to the redneck orbiter. They're married now. That's something isn't it? I say fuck it there's plenty out there. If she's playing games early on just run. Get the fuck out before she twists the knife in your heart because I can tell you it's not easy to get past that shit. I don't think I ever will get over it so much as just learn to live with it. It changes you though. I don't feel like the same person in a way.

I'd add that it's better that you feel like an idiot now rather than years down the road. The longer you stick around the harder it gets to resist that sort of manipulation and emotional blackmail. I wish you the best of luck user.

Wow, that's a really hard story. Your ex was a really cunt, it was long time ago?. Reading your post I could picture myself living something like that. I mean, I love her but I don't want to be betrayed again, it really destroyed me the last time, actually that's the reason for many of my insecurities.

True, man.. Better now than later. Thank you very much for making me put things in perspective.

It was 8 months ago. Really I'm only just starting to pick up the pieces of my life after that. I was going to marry the bitch and everything. This is the first month since it all went down that I have only got shit faced drunk once. So I'm getting better slowly. Pretty sure that will leave a permanent scar now. There's just too many damn whores out there these days. They're all liberated and don't even really have any shame about it anymore. Dick in pants for me for a long long long ass time.

Damn, I thought that had been many years ago for the way you talk about it. Whore is the new tendency. Same for me when I get rid of my slutty girlfriend.

Btw, I supposed do you cut all contact with her?