What would you do if someone was trying to get into your house?

>What would you do if someone was trying to get into your house?

Open the door and let them in.
Friends often try to get into my house.

This actually happened to me today so what I did was:
>Grabbed my baseball bat (Because Australia)
>Screamed death threats and go full fucking psycho
>Chased the bastard out of my house hitting my bat on the side of a tree while chasing him.

If I could, I'd sneak up behind him and clobber him over the head. And then I'd probably tie him up and rape him.
Seriously though what the fuck the robber going to do after I rape him a few times? Go off and tell the cops? Lol
He's going to take it like a bitch and then I'll probably clobber him over the head again and drop him off fukn miles away from my house.
That's if I can I get to him first. Other than that it'd probably just be a huge altercation.... if I lose maybe I'll get raped lol

Get naked, smear shit on myself and yell get out of my eyes

pick up my glock and put two rounds through his forehead.

>I'll probably clobber him over the head again and drop him off fukn miles away from my house.
>Because he won't remember where he broke into...

>not being prepared at all times

i honestly believe this, but for the sole purpose that youre from australia

Obviously I would invite them inside for a spot of tea and biscuits while secretly contacting the local constable because I'm British and therefore are a pussy.

teleport behind them and perform a vertical slash followed by a 360 spin and a backwards stab with my razor sharp katana made of superior nippon steel folded over 1000 times

>Call police
>armed nigger breaking in my house
>he shouting you mad White boi
"Ok sir we will have a unit sent out immediately "
>lock my self in cellar with muh gun
>entice the black man to the door unload clip
>wait for police

i would remember that i live in a safe country on the 11th floor of a building and i have a big metal door with a password protected lock.

Oh...I dunno...probably grab one of these

Mate, it can get fucking hectic over here.

which one would you grab

Tell them how to use a fucking crowbar

Get my gun out of the lock box fast, call police, sit in room still, wait for cops.

Were you fully pissed at the time?

trips do not lie

Either beat the shit out of them with my baseball bat or cut them to bits with my sword depending on how drunk I am.

I did have a bottle of Irish Whisky, but not fully pissed.

Enjoy dieing in a fire Kek

One of them

Invite them in and spread these cheeks, my nigga

More what he is saying that he has to use a baseball bat for home defence because using any object designed to be a weapon is premeditated assault in Australia, even if in your own home.

> Welsh Brit here... Law states I have to try my best to evacuate my house if I'm burgled!

> mfw I can get sued if I defend my own home.

My home invader was actually black, one of those fucking immigrants.

>implying he'll come back for another raping
The expert play would be to blindfold him and then him rape in your basement for a few days.

Dude has nice eyes.

Is that why so many British come to live in Australia, because their whole nation is being burgled?

Yeah I thought so, those Africans from Melbourne? I can't believe the Australian government actually decided it was a good idea to bring niggers into the country. It's just baffling.

Nice dude!

I would use an automatic pistol to shoot the chandelier down onto his head. I'd love to watch his feet hang out like Wizard of Oz.

Which one would the robber take

I would ask him why he's trying to break in. Maybe there are some deep emotional issues that a shoulder to cry on can heal. Then when he's vulnerable, stab him with a kitchen knife.

Trust me mate, we have it pretty shit here too.

Aussie's have the right fucking idea. Calculate how many niggers you can handle, let a few of them in and ship the rest back.

If everything in BBQ land wasn't out to fucking kill me I'd move there.

I live out in Central Goldfields Victoria, so I don't see the nigger crime in Melbourne, also I have 6 guns.

Brother, trust me.
I have it fixed if we ever correct this immigration issue.

Nope. You are wrong bro.

This is just stupid media propoganda. The law states you can defend yourself and family with whatever force is deemed needed at the time. 'excessive force' is frowned upon and can get you in trouble. i.e beating to death with crowbar as he tries to flee unarmed.

But beating to death with crowbar is a okay if he tried to do the same. Now by all means it's a tougchy call but you are not banned from simple human right like the right to protect yourself.

Hence why I have a hunting crossbow like a fucking nigger murdering boss, rubbing my hands like a jew waiting for a coon to invade so I can get some legal nig blood all over my hands! ;)

Happened in QLD

My answer, excessive force however is not allowed.

I legit want to deport them all. I don't care if they're really great, law abiding or are going to go off and split the atom.
They can fuck off purely because they're black and I hate the look of them. Why can't those cunts go off and make Africa great again?

i would ask him if he found something worth a shit and laugh about him being this dumb to try to rob a poorfag.

Someone did break into my house about 10 years ago while I was there, I work nights so he thought I was at work. It was a dude I knew and a couple of his friends. While they were prying open the front door I loaded my .45 and called a friend of mine on my cell phone who is with the Sheriffs dept. and works at night in my neighborhood so they got a nice greeting. My former friends 2 buddies ran out the front door to 2 Sheriff's dept. patrol cars waiting for them and I had to get the piss cleaned out of the carpet where my former friend was kneeling. Fun night.

You Americans are lucky to have guns, we have shit here.
It's a fucking Nanny state!

Shoot him in the face. I live in Texas I can shoot you dead just for being on my property without my permission.

i said it was a safe country. fire has been illegal here for about 6 or 7 years.

Interesting.

So your saying my sound-proof murder/rape/torture suite I have built under my shed is a tad too far, but if some polish (pols are the problem in south wales) I could legally kick his fucking teeth down his throat and rupture his bollocks....

I like the look of that.
>user for pm

I think that might also be true in America depending on in said burger lerr gets a good lawyer. If you were "able to leave" then you didn't need to kill him. Also, having a viscously dect out gun with all the bells and whistles can be held against you as aposed to a simple defensive weapon. Could be said that you were just itching to use your cool gun. I could be severely wrong tho.

Mate, I've spent more than a year thinking about politics and how we could fix this stupid immigration crisis.
You'd often find me on Sup Forums

Feel ya. There are black countries for blacks, chink countries for chinks, muslim countries for muslims but no white countries for whites.

WE LIVE ON A FUCKING ISLAND, THERE ARE NO FUCKING LAND BORDERS, WE RULE THE FUCKING WAVES.

Have SAS/SBS squads at all major transit import sites... If they find an immigrant, execute them and charge them for the fucking bullet.

We have a lot of guns but unfortunately very few people who own them know how to use or store them properly. I'm ex Army but i took a gun and hunting safety course. Any idiot can buy a gun in the US, safety courses should be required.

If you live in a Capital city in Australia you don't have to worry about "All the shit that's out to kill you", just be wary of SJW Marxists making their presence felt in local government and schools.

>be me
>male
>198cm
>113KG
>training MMA
>Just got out from the military
>would fucking take him down
>slap the fuck out of him
>tie him to a chair
>continue to beat the living shit out of him untill the police comes... and where i live that can be up to 2 hours

Worst I have to deal with is derro pot heads

I strongly agree with you, but the thing is is that the majority of sheeple are fucking stupid and would not vote for such a thing sadly.

Not if you live in gun loving state. The castle doctrine. Basically I can defend my home by any means necessary if I feel my life is in danger.

Yeah this doesn't happen often at all, but I fear it may become common due to Australia's retarded Immigration multicultural policies.

Good point, when I think of AU, I just picture the outback. Love the accents by the way!

Thank you mate!
Have a fucking beer together ay'?

Good thing you were in Australia. Where else would you use a baseball bat

...

Grab my axe and start yelling, if the nigger comes close enough I'll swing it at him

Yeah, kind of.. eh..

take a look at the change to the alw under David camerons rule. It changed the excessive force bit. Something on the lines of 'even if it seemed excessive at the time' to allow people to not be judged in the docks all clean and suited up, but reather the fear addled victim at the time of the incident.

I would find it for you but I'm a lazy cunt and these armitards wouldn't appreciate it.

Loing story short, buy a £100 crossbow and shoot any cock sucker that breaks in and call the police asap. Failing that, bend over and let them rape you, cuz that's about as good as you're gona get if you don't act!

Have a little faith int he system. I've gotten away with loads. ;)

A fucking axe?
You're in America right? Or just somewhere isolated?

>grab my hurling bat, bless it with a pater noster, go to meet the guy
guess which country I am from?

I wish people would say what they are thinking. Working for local council and recently had a 'DIVERSITY TRAINING DAY'. Literally had a sand nigger come in and tell us that everyone is discriminated against, told us that people who wear glasses are different and should not be targeted with hate (I shit you not brother).

Boss asked me how day was going. Told him that I'd like to hear what people would say if their jobs weren't on the line and people would not judge them....

Also had to give a bullshit explanation of what I would do if some sand nigger came in speaking arabic... working in a secure part of the building I'd shit myself, duck and crawl to the nearest exit and prey the fucker didn't booby trap it with an IED. (My answer if your interested was to call language line or use google translate to find out what he/she/it wanted).

I think he means Australia=no guns

Fetch baseball bat from front closet. Allow invader to enter and then cave in his skull. Call police to clean up. Go back to bed.

Oh yeah sorry, the shit posting side of me took over for a bit.

I'd throw my hat with only a knock out velocity, no need to kill him

Yeah I live in a small village but it's close to a bigger town. If I kill him I could be prosecuted so I'll just stab/slice myself and put the knife in his hand

SCANDINAVIAN DETECTED !
-Norhn Norwegian

Obviously depends on where they would try getting in.

I've got a reinforced Daloc Class 3 front-door and reinforced framework and front-end.

The front is also the only logical place because I live on the waterside, so in that case I would probably just open the doors to my pulley-lift on the 3d floor and push my piano out the door and on their heads.

Then call it a coincidental accident, while rearranging my house.

That happens around here!

Jesus fuck, that sounds fucked.
Kek

Kind smart, but then you would have to buy a new piano.

I don't fucking care, it used to be my father-in-law's.

And If I ever need a new one, I'll just buy one.

My acting skills have improved. Having to act shocked and disgusted that there is still hate in this world. Nearly bit my tongue off trying not to say Hitler did nothing wrong and needed more time. Every time I look at the new £5 note I see Churchill staring back at me... if only he knew. Should have saved a lot of time and lives and let the Germans roll in. Don't see too many niggers in Man in the High Castle...

You rich eh'?

One of them

Locks are the weakest part of the door. I assume you are in UK/Europe? Make sure you have anti-snap/anti-drill locks... Don't worry about picking, fucking immigrants are too dumb for that shit.

Snapping a cylinder lock can get you through a door in under 30 secs...

You're lucky, this is my first nigger that I had to "deal" with.

England.

Let's just say my family business has been thriving for a good 20 years now, so I'm not exactly looking to escape the wage gap or some shit. Maybe if I take over from my dad, I'll be more stressed about the financial picture, but right now I can afford a new piano (or 2)

Don't you need a license to have a baseball bat in England?

>License for a bat
Kek?

No, just a valid drivers license, recent utility bill, 6 months vetting, 2 hour telephone interview, £2.50 in 5p coins and a letter from the Chief Constable of your local constabulary.

Underrated post

There are easier targets than me. Most of my neighborhood is oldfags, my house has a 70 pound pit bull and 230 pound me and a 12-gauge under the bed.

But to answer the question, there'd be a noise at the door or window and then the dog would go apeshit and then there'd be no further attempts to come in.

That's what I meant with a "re-inforced" front-end. It's not just the door. I have the full package. Class 3 door, specialised locks, antiburglar strips, reinforced door-frame, front-posts and walls.
There's also a Cat.4 camera system and intercom, so I'm good.

How the fuck could you tell?

Yeah, well my dogs are half beagles and they fucking cowered under the house and gave me one reluctant bark after the event.

- Burgs also armed
- shootout
- what do?

I can't tell you how much I want that right now.

BANG!

Make sure you win

Beat the shit out of him or get shot. No guns allowed in the black-red-gold cuckland.