What's the most depraved thing you've done while intoxicated

What's the most depraved thing you've done while intoxicated

You do coke off an ipad?

>I rubbed my sweaty balls on a person's car handle while high.
>I went to school high on cocaine.
That's about it.

I tried to dance with a girl, but then her friends said no.

bout the only thing they are good for

Thats so boss

Sucked a traps cock in public

i take random shots at cars on the highway thats just across my house

Op here I once was having sex with this girl and I was fucking druuuunk and I threw up on her and I stopped and she's like are you gonna finish or what so I kept fucking while there was throw up all over her to this day I still feel dirty

Had sex with two prostitutes for half an hour each, ten minutes in between then when I couldn't blow my load I called up my mates sister and and had sex with her.

Plot twist: I hadn't showered after the prostitutes and I'd blown in her mouth

Throw up enxt to a girl
Talked girls at a bar to give me drinks and kisses they did
insulted my colelctiv after doing coke, nobody talks to me lmao faggots
threw up next to a supermarket after too much meth
slept for 3 days in a tent at a concert after taking 3 xtc and 1g shrooms
cut my arm open at a young age after too much booze
fucked a girl infornt of her girlfriends after getting wasted
kicked a door in only to be greeted with a friend quickly leaving and a crying naked girl (enhjoyed the view, needed to replace the door tho)
Insulted people and nearly killed three with a booz bottle (missed the head while throwing)
I dont handle drugs very well

That's a spicy meatball right there me likey

I fucked a 14 year old when i was drunk and out of my mind on ketamine..
No regrets

ket will do it for you

I drank too much shitty rum and drove to a kids house to have him suck my dick. I had never hooked up wit a guy before.
That's probably the worst. Although being an alcoholic for like 7 years, id done some pretty fucked shit

Backed into a fire hydrant on acid
Decided to hang out with my ex because xanax
Robbed a dealer for no reason other than that he annoyed me
Multiple blackout fights that left my hand injured - can't remember clearly what exactly happened

>kids house
how old?

Break into my housemates room, stole underwear, licked all her sexy toys (and jammed a few in my ass for good measure)

Nothing, but I'm 6'4"and come from drunken vikings/german's..

Just don't get drunk, and if I drink way to much I just get sleepy.

What did your height have to do with anything related to this

Min was opposite. Was getting from a friend's girlfriends on the side of the house during a party. She suddenly puked in my lap. It was just beer puke no food, so I pushed her head back down and made her finish.

I was 19 and he had just turned 18. Like that week. For 3 weeks prior, he had attempted to get me to cum in his mouth. I told him I didnt swing like that. He stressed that a hot mouth is a hot mouth. >One night being more drunk than usual, I get a message on face from him.
> Saying hes super bored and he would love to take a ride in my talon. (Shit tier Asian mobile I drove back then)
>cont..?

Pissed in a strangers oven once drunk af.

I'm 6'2" nice to meet you.

sure

Kicked a homeless dude to death. Was strung on smack, not intoxicated though

>cont..?
Only if you don't write cont..? Every other fucking line and just get on with it.
Either that or don't bother.

So many bad things...

One of the best, fucked three different girls in one day. Finished in a mouth a pussy and an ass. Not my first hat trick but I was high, drunk and one of the sluts was 10/10.

Been drinking, went into a quiet Catholic Church in austria. Went into chapel of rest, stole a human skull which was screed onto a shelf above a dead body in a coffin. Went into main church and fucked my girlfriend both naked on the altar whilst I proclaimed 'hail satan' just as we were leaving, a family walked in.... stole a small souvenir cross and got my girlfriend to stick it down my pee hole while she jacked me off.
Sadly, all of the above is true anons

thank you based homeless booter

Sure

maximum over-edge

I pray to Odin that this is true, if it is, you are my hero user

Alrighty
> Been drinking admiral nelson for about 3 hrs before that
>Decide if I can drink enough to not care, go for it
>That time has come. Get in talon wit admiral in tote
>Flying down back roads to this boys house that is about 7 miles away
>Get there and am super nervous
>Hes alot smaller than I am. Almost chubby but not
>Hes like sweating and scared
>Its about 1145 at night and I take off wit my little cocksucker in the ricer
> I ask him how many cocks he slurps on at night wit "complete privacy" (which is what he kept telling me when I was like I aint gay)

I made out with a stranger's gf, in front of him, on his birthday.

I found out it was his birthday after the fact, when the gf started texting me

At first i was going to jump out of balcony. Then my cousin send me to bed >> i walked out in hotel corridor and saw women that asked me to fuck her. After few minutes i found out that's my cousin and i almost raped her. After that i saw Jesus and pray to him...

Was the family involved in the cross sounding or is that a new chapter of the story?

fucked some chick raw in a public toilet

>He says no ones taken him up on his offer
>I dont believe him
>I tell him it's ok to touch my dick and to try and get it hard but we are not kissing
>He instantly reaches at my jock. I'm wearing basketball shorts
>He finds it and rubs it through my shorts and asks if I want to fuck his mouth
>Never really heard a guy flat out ask that, let alone wit his hand on my dick
>I tense up and almost want to bail on this
>I say Idk ive never done it
>And he says it'll be great
> So I park at the school about 3 miles from his house
>By this time, my dick is half hard half soft because I'm almost fighting it mentally
>I start heavily drinking what's left of the rum and just lean back and pull his head down and he eagerly unsheathes it and licks the head

I had sex multiple times at an adult theater with a bunch of different guys with no protection

Got super drunk, somehow whipped cream got involved in the party, got it put on my bald head, someone put a cherry on top, someone else ate it, ate whipped cream out of titties until the can was empty. Now here's the fucked up part. I wandered away from the party and ended up in an apartment complexes laundromat. I had to vomit, but didn't know where, so I puked in a washing machine. Washing machines are great to puke in. There's a catch basin, there's hand rests on the side, you don't get anything on your shoes, and when you're done, you just close the lid. On a side note, did you know that whipped cream has the same consistency going out as it does coming in? Well after round one, my stomach did the grumbles that only puking more can fix, but washing machine #1 was disgusting, so I moved down the line. My grand total for the evening was three washing machines and a dryer. Why the dryer? Because no one would see that one coming.

No, just my hasty writing. We stole the cross from like a 'honesty' donation area, candles, crosses n shit. The family came in as we were leaving, I got the gf to finish me off back at the apartment with the cross. Had even more outrageous situations and experiences with that crazy bitch

Fucked my best friend's GF. I feel like shit now even tho they were broken up at the time.

Pic related

>I do meth and insult my friends, anyone who doesn't talk to me is a faggot!!1!

>I push his head down and at that moment I felt his short hair and sweat
>I had a guys lips wrapped around my straight cock
>Fuck
>I intensely regretted that at that moment
>I just let him go to town
>He sucked on it and licked it like a lollipop
>I remember letting my seat go all the way back and the sound of his throat as I went deeper than he expected when the seat flew back
>Then I just grabbed his head and fucked his face to end it.
>Cuz I wanted it over
>He choked on it alot.
>I ended up finishing in his throat and it coming out his nose
>Then I believed him that no one had taken him up on the offer ha
>Head was 5.5/10
If you want any of my other so drunk I fucked around wit a guy stories. Just ask

I accidentally fucked my sister while on Xanax.

>Why the dryer? Because no one would see that one coming.
Cringed at that "joke".

That's legend. Lets hear it

...

Rape a girl

Eh, tried to be funny, just woke up. I don't really remember why I puked in a dryer except for the fucking lulz

Please cont..? writing user.

which city mate, austrian cunt 2 in this thread needs to know

You obviously didn't do enough ketamine. In a good hole I wouldn't be able to understand the concept of vagina. Except maybe in a vague religious way like an idol I remember from when I was still alive.

Most dudes that sick dock are be eternal than their female counterparts. They'll eat your ass and lick your balls way quicker too.

Where do you live?

cheated on my sister with her twin

...

...

what

>What's the most depraved thing you've done while intoxicated
your mum

Mixed with pills and convulsed for a few hours; nearly suffocated on my vomit once I finally blacked out. Somethin like 3/4 bottle of jack? I was so lightweight then too

>If you want any of my other so drunk I fucked around wit a guy stories. Just ask
Ner, I'm good...

Got green for that user?

Factual. The dude who sucked me off after him was amazing. I'm not huge but I can choke most girls I've gotten head from. This guy was a deepthroat master

i got home really stoned and i fapped to brazilian farting / pooping porn.

i don't even know why, i hate that kind of shit when im sober

Little to much heroin and woke up yo head had long hair didn't think much of it tell i finished and he thanked me. I got high and basically blown by a dude. I quit doing drug right after that.

Got engaged

story?

Go on

got drunk and puked on the girl in front of me at an AC/DC concert
>she stayed for the rest of the concert

Got away from a police helicopter after throwing Molotov cocktails at some Christmas decorations. I was pretty drunk and high. You never see any one get away at night from a chopper. With night vision and all its hard, but I did. Would love to see the video recording of my getaway.

Me too

>Im a supersensitive riding horse and cant take some banter

stay pleb

>Should have gone green user.

I mean yes and no.
>Have 7/10 sister
>Both drunk one day, she tells me about incest fetish
>I'm somewhat opposed to idea, not %100 depraved
>Fast forward to age 22 her 20
At this point it's all from one picture and what my sister tells me happened
>She noticed me eating Xanax like candy
>Flirts with me and does suggestive things
>Puts her hand on my lap and I crack a fatty
>Takes me up to her room
>Gets photo of me fingering her
>Proceed to fuck

When I come to she tells me about everything and I'm still in her bed. Then shows me the picture.

She blackmailed me with it multiple times.
Tfw it sounds like a badass fantasy but I'm living in hell as a personal dildo to my sister.

fingered (both vag and ass) an asian chick at a club

in all fairness had excess of 15 shots, a lotta acid, cocaine, marijuanas and something else i cant remember

almost got arrested that night. good times

Went to Sup Forums

ok bro. totally banged a family member bc of z bars said no one ever

I fucked a fat chick. Not just a fat chick, but a middle aged 400 lb ugly mom.

fuck tequila man, it brings out the worst in people. I wont sit here and say I was raped, but I woke up wondering what the fuck I was thinking. I kind of remember it.

Well everything here IS a work of fiction user.

made out with a fatty once. super drunk, super fucked up on opiates. after making out for 10 minutes i came to, horrified and left

thats bullshit and you know it. the reason u get called out is bc u go over the top

just read what u wrote and think about how stupid it sounds. god damn it ur a retard

suicide attempt

how did you do it?

I actually do this too, lol

Fucked and ate my ex's pussy while she was on her period.

Was coked and drunk out of my mind watching porn at 3AM when I get a text from her asking me what i'm doing.

Long story short I end up driving to her house to do her like a fucking degenerate. I even remember fingering her asshole and licking my fingers afterwards.

So much regret when I sobered up.

She told all her friends I was a freak.

pshhh ive done that shit so many times w/ so many girlfriends it doesnt even matter

>Get drunk and high
>Remember I have a stolen plastic snowman in my trunk
>Buddy's and I decide its best we drag it to local pond and set ablaze
>Lots of Molotov cocktails and gasoline
>We light this bitch up, and Molotov it as well
>We stumble off the borders of the pond into residential area
>Immediately see chopper approaching
>Spot light hits us
>We bolt
>Some split up
>As I get to a seemingly safe and quiet street I run across
>BOOM Spotlight
>I start hopping fences with two friends
>Ducking, diving
>Manage to loose him
>Staying low, I can hear police vehicles and firetrucks running the streets just feet away
>Shitting my pants
>Totally killed my high
>Things cool down about two hours later
>Run back to home base and one by one we all assemble from the darkness
>We drink some beers and smoke some bowls
>Victory
>Also my friend recorded the Molotoving
>Pic related

man if that's true it's pretty fucked

not me but a friend of mine

>gets drunk and fucked up on xanax (he loves his xanax)
>breaks into neighbors house, steals guitars, computers
>wakes up the next mornign with all this awesome shit
>goes to pawn the guitar
>feels guilty
>goes to return laptop
>gets arrested

Stimulants and testosterone are a hell of a cocktail... i feel u bro. At least you're only a degenerate when you're fucked up, that's not half bad.

ask urself user, how true could that ridiculously over the top never happened to anyone story be?

>gets arrested

lol owned

yea its a funny story. im also a lawfag so i always ask him shit like whered they find the fingerprints bro and how's court ordered rehab treating ya

Ya ur right. I'm just high so it didn't process.

thats ok, nothing wrong with being high

>Fucked a tranny
>Fucked my mom's best friend
>Fucked my second cousin
>Gangbanged a chick in the park (Consensual)
>Fucked a chick in the mouth while another was eating out my ass (Public)

I'm seeing a pattern here. Well i like booze and i like weed and absolutely love booze and weed together.

>Midnight. Shitfaced drunk.
>Walk to liquor store because need more alcohol
>See halfway decent trap in tube dress with obvious hard on standing in front of store
>Walk in store head straight to porn rack.
>need trap porn bad
>Clerk tells me gtfo
>no porn no alcohol
>Leave store see trap and hard on again
>walk straight over, kneel down
>pull up dress, start sucking
>I get instant boner
>wino out front starts hooting and hollering
>Clerk comes out with baseball bat and chases us all awawy

Didn't drink for almost 5 years after that

i was snorting cocaine and drinking, robbed a brazillian fag first up fucked him up badly he was actually crying, i took his phone and bag and started walking away he was on the floor screaming that he needs his bag he's gonna die, got around the corner opened the bag seen few of needles, turns out he has diabeetus threw the bag down then robbed 2 other guys with one of the needles