We are going to switch it up today, Sup Forums

we are going to switch it up today, Sup Forums

i was fucking around on my catfish jewbook account, ruining relationships like a champ when i realized something

why the fuck am i going after guys and ruining their relationships...

when i could be going after lesbians and getting titties? like wtf

itt post lesbians facebooks you know and i will attempt to get wins from them

if all goes well i might even consider making an insta and trying there

i don't think a snapchat would work out too well but im sure theres some app out there thatd help

shameless self bump, please contribute to my degeneracy

also, enjoy some OC

Somehow i have deep respect for catfishing people. I just can't figure out how but it certainly sounds fun.

Did you ever lure multiple dates to a single spot?

i actually have believe it or not

however, i dont really do much of the kind of catfishing you are thinking of

the people that do what youre talking about have some kind of fetish for luring people and shit like that

mostly what i do is solicit nude pictures from guys i see in a happy relationship, then record the evidence and send it to their girlfriend/fiance/wife

something really satisfying about fucking chads lives up

robot revolution, normies btfo

cont. from that post, i can greentext the story real fast if youd like, tbh it went down pretty much how youd expect something like it to go down

Oh shit, that's actually even better. Do you get to witness the break ups and will they still try to go after you ?

epic thread.
CMON OP SHOW me your works

ive only witnessed the break up in person for one of them, and id say about 30-40% of them still try to go after me after the break up, to which i either tease them or completely ignore them

man, this one guy went on a psychotic break when i ignored him after a breakup, he rambled on about how i not only ruined his life but saved his life and that he loves and hates me at the same time and all kinds of other gay shit

funny stuff, you should try it

shut the fuck up and show your work-desun

BIMp

Is there any line you don't want to cross? Anything i should watch out for that could actually give the police a reason to backtrace my account?

raul is that you?

alright, here goes nothing, dont let the thread 404

>be me
>nefariously tapping away on keyboard
>find one chad from my hometown that i knew in highschool
>i fucking hate this guy
>im going to fuck his day
>skim through some random peoples friends lists, and find some guys in the area
>concoctevilplan.jpeg
>chad from hometown is currently in a relationship with a 7/10, shes kinda cute
>not for long
>message chad
>talk about how i was from a neighboring school a few years back and i saw him playing in a basketball game, how hot he was, etc.
>he tries to play hard to get, "man these are the times that i really wish i didnt have a girlfriend"
>shut the fuck up you cuntdigging faggot, i know you want some
>start digging through my stash of naked photos of girls that look like the same body type as my catfish girl
>baseball shirt with black lingerie and slightly pulled down pants
>wunderweapon.png
>send.exe
>chad responds with typical chad bravado bullshit, see right through it
>"well, if youre going to be that pushy"

cont., sorry idk when the word limit is

>captcha: sandwich for sale

i dont mess with the following:
>military
>cops
>nurses (dead mother was a nurse, it just feels wrong)

everyone else is completely fair game and usually deserves it

no this is patrick

>>op i love u you devious fucker

Bump

makin my soggy gray shrimp hard

BUIMP

cont.
>chad then proceeds to send a dick pic to me

not going to lie, it looked fucking horrendous, unkempt, dirty, etc., and random fucks send me their junk on a daily basis

>compliment on how big it was, how it must have been 8 inches
>obviously only like 5.5, maybe 6
>he starts getting cocky, "i can show it to you in person if youd like"
>everything is falling into place

remember those guys i dug around for that lived in the area? yeah, this is where they come into play

>decide against just ruining his relationship by showing proof to his gf, instead decide to have him "meet up" with me
>choose a local cafe as the place
>a place i eat at occasionally, so im going to watch the show
>begin messaging those beta orbiters from earlier, tell them that we are going to meet at the cafe and head to their place after getting something to eat

cont.

Bump.

This is getting gud

>>reminds me of the legend of the black yeti

BUMP

BIG BUMP

EXTRA TONS OF FLAVOR

...

bump.

...

>arrive at the cafe at 5:50, cute waitress already knows what i want, medium sized pork cutlet with swiss cheese with garlic mashed potatoes and sauerkraut on the side
>begin digging in when i notice something out of the corner of my eye
>a black pontiac pulls up
>its chad
>i chuckled as quietly as i could, and he walks in with that stupid fucking confident walk that all chads make
>he sits down at the table i told him, my "favorite table"
>waitress walks over and asks him if he knows what he wants
>he just asks for coffee and that hes waiting on someone
>pic related, its me at this point
>a shitty tan sedan with some thug looking black man rolls in
>its one of the guys from earlier
>he walks in, looks at where the chad is sitting all confused
>then a fucking white sub rolls up
>scrawny punk that looks like he probably smokes pot and skateboard gets out, joins the black man in confusion, both now staring at chad
>they begin conversing with eachother
>where the fuck is the last one
>a street and trail bike rolls up near the cafe with an average looking teen
>he walks into the cafe, looks at the situation with everyone staring right back at him, and walks right the fuck back out

i shit you not, i could not fucking hold it in, i was trying to play it off as some video i was watching on facebook by showing some normie vine to the waitress

cont.

shrekkles ready, cap'n

see?

bump
pre write your green text in the future

BUMP

Bump

They don't even have to be lesbian. I used to catfish the shit out of girls on Snapchat using phantom. It doesn't take much to get straight girls to show their tits if they're sure it's another girl on the other end.

>the black man begins arguing with chad, telling him that the table is reserved
>chad talks back, saying that it is, but not for him
>stoner faggot just backs up out of the situation and sits somewhere else
>black man sits at a table nearby
>all three pull out their fucking phones
>ohshithereitcomes.jpeg
>3 new messages on messenger
>from chad: "hey where are you? its 6"
>from black guy: "you should probably hurry up, some shitheads are trying to steal our seats"
>from stoner faggot: "hey"
>ignore the other two, message chad
>"dont worry, im almost there, coming around the block"
>chad was in for a fucking surprise
>a white impala comes around the block and parks in front of the sedan
>chads girlfriend comes storming in
>looks at chad
>chad looks at her
>chad
>looks
>at
>her
>she sat down next across the table from chad
>what chad didnt know is that it wasnt going to be me showing up, but rather his girlfriend that i had dumped the evidence on
>she pulls out her phone calmly, and begins showing him what i assume is the conversation between me and chad the other night
>chads face goes red
>"how the fuck did you get that? did you catfish me? what the fuck is wrong with you?"
>"it doesnt matter how i got them, what the fuck is the matter with YOU?"
>verbal fight then begins to break out
>lots of shouting
>waitress tries to calm them down, gets pushed away
>she calls for the cook to drag them outside
>the black guy and stoner faggot are fucking shellshocked by what was going on in front of them, and ended up leaving a little before the couple was thrown out
>before they finished fighting, she yelled as loud as she could "im fucking through with you" and then sped off in her car
>chad sat down on a nearby bench and just looked up at the sky with an angry look, clenching his pants like a crybaby faggot

unfortunately chad wasnt one of the ones who still chased after me despite having his shit fucked right before his eyes

wouldnt trade it for the world

Or you're a faggot. Only a faggot would actively try to get other men to show them their dicks.

BUMP

enlighten me on what this "phantom' is

an app or some shit? teach me senapi

It's a jailbreak tweak for iPhone that lets you send pics from your camera roll and save snaps without the sender knowing. See dumb bitches don't know snaps can be faked or saved so they think since the picture they get is some girl that they're actually talking to a girl. Then since they don't think you can save their pics without them knowing it's super easy to get them to show their bodies.

i have an android, wat do

...

There is or was at least an app called Casper that allowed pretty much the same thing. I'll share a few wins.

...

thanks mate, will look into it


also bump someone give me some fucking lesbos to catfish

...

That's actually genius. Post results in the future when you get some.

...

pathetic

Good luck mate. I haven't done it in awhile. It actually got a bit boring because there wasn't any challenge to it.

Got more stories?

i do but its 2 in the morning and i have a doctors appointment in the morning, so ill probably only post a quickie or two

Thats fucked up man you must have a very sad life that you're so jealous that other people are happ and youre not so you break them up

Explain the lack of challenge please sir

honestly lesbians have it pretty hard as is, obviously the chads are the evil ones here and you should do more in your power to ruin them

>be me
>really like that waitress from previous story
>she flirts back a lot

no, im not some fat neckbeard for those of you assuming that. im fit, 6ft, and make it a point to live a healthy lifestyle, i just dont bother with too many girls
anyways, back to the story

>turns out waitress-kun has a boyfriend
>let me change that real fast
>find boyfriend via facebook stalking
>message boyfriend
>start my acts of seduction
>he gives in literally minutes within conversation

no joke, this literal waste of human anatomy starts sending metric fucktons of dick pics, like wtf

>bear with it for the cute waitress
>send conversation to her
>they break up and start a shit slinging contest over jewbook
>about 4 days passes
>go to cafe
>make small talk, joke around, make her laugh
>joke around about taking her out sometime
>she gets flustered
>tell her that it doesnt have to be a joke
>she agrees

we dated for about a week, then she broke it off and said that she and dipshit were getting back together and that she had a lot of fun

to this day i havent looked back at her

i fear this is how my thread ends

not with the laughs of many but the dying whimpers of none

ripperoni

dont worry i laughed

thanks user

I did as well thanks

>Cops
Fuck the police

But actually, don't mess with firefighters and veterinarians (for real, read up on the shit they have to deal with, their lives are already fucking miserable; I'm thankful I'm not one of them).