>Be me, Diogenes
>Living in an actual fucking barrel on the streets
>No money
>Never get any poontang
>Keep proposing botched -isms and nobody's taking the bait
>I'm done with the world
>"Some of you are alright, don't come to the academy tomorrow."
>One day, I'm sitting in my barrel doing the ancient greek equivalent of cat calling
>This hot milf with big tits walks by in a toga
>I know the broad from the plaza, her name is Thanos
>You wear that wool tunic well babe.
>"Fuck off Diogenes."
>She knows my name holy shit
>Thinking about asking her out
>I'm also superstitious like you wouldn't believe
>I go see an oracle
>Nigga's like "duhhhh go deface coins."
>wtf why
>"Cuz I said so, go do it. Go rub your scat on coins."
>She must've been a fetishist or something
>Whatever. Fuck this, I'm moving to Athens
Be me, Diogenes
>I bring my slave, Manes, because it'd be stupid not to
>The fucker has the audacity to walk off
>"Ugh I don't need this kind of stress."
>Start sleeping on the streets in overturned trashcans because it reminds me of home
>People keep kicking dirt n shit at me
>That's it, I'm going full columbine
>Small voice in my head says "nu don't it faggot, they're not worth it."
>wut
>"You'd be better off prioritizing your own needs and flaunting. Act like you're hot shit all the time."
>wait...wut
>"Be as vane as you can to those cunts."
>ok sure
>Go to a new academy in Athens
>Learning under Antisthenes, who was a pupil of fucking Socrates
>One night in the frat house, my boy Antisthenes and I were wasted on brandy
>It was retarded strong even after mixers
>I tell dude about my head voice
>"You mean just be really arrogant?"
>Yeh cuz like who's more important to you than yourself?
>"That's a good idea, let's make the academy about that n shit"
>Mfw
generally interested in this thread
Wasn't he known for jacking off in public and throwing his cum at people or something?
Another story
>There's this guy trotting by my spot on the plaza ground
>Dude's decked out head to toe in autistic looking armor
>He sees me and freezes up
>"I-I'm a huge fan of your philosophies Mr. Diogenes."
>Do I know you?
>A crowd starts to form, people crowding this guy
>Someone yells out "Alexander!"
>I put two and two together
>"Holy shit, this is Alexander the Great."
>I get an idea... a cynical idea
>"Scuse me faggot, get out of my sunlight."
>Silence falls over the crowd
>People are in disbelief
>Alex's smile fades
>"W-what?" he asks pathetically
>"You heard me you fucking queer, step out of the way."
>The beta fag sluggishly stumbles away
fuckin got em
moar?
fuck u cuck
topkek
probably. guy was weird
man, Diogenes was a master-class troll. That shit was intentional.
"Behold! I've brought you a man."
Kek'd. He's so underappreciated and cheeky
Yes. Diogenes is an entry level meme philosopher that kiddies like to imagine was some next level deep shit. He was actually just a mouthy little hobo git and failed to produce anything of legitimate value, much less any thought worthy of actual prolonged intellectual consideration.
He pioneered cynicism. What are you on about?
Says the entry level shitposter
>entry level shitposter
that's not op faggot
>shitposter
OP here. That's not me cuck
does philosophy necessarily have to be something complicated? whats wrong if some hobo git is drawing attention on values that might be worth questioning?
OP here.
This. A philosophy can just be basic common knowledge, it's in the notions where shit gets interesting. Diogenes didn't just say, "Do whatever you want whenever you want." He dug deeper than what was visible at face value.
this
you have to admit he burned socrates or whoever pretty good when he plucked a chicken and said "behold a featherless biped"
Yeh. Plato was quoting Socrates's definition of a man, "featherless bipeds." Diogenes comes into the academy the next day with a plucked chicken and interrupts a lecture to show everyone his "man."
Since then, the definition of man was expanded to ''featherless biped with flat nails''
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Bump
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OP here. It's been fun. Thanks for the debate and the pictures of foot deformities. I'm including them in my folder. Good night Sup Forumsitches
Truly a man before his time.
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