ITT: We nerf each other's superpowers

ITT: We nerf each other's superpowers

>can digitize and travel the internet

>can digitize and travel the internet
Through a 58k modem.

Can suck my own dick

But only in mineral sandbox

Why's that a superpower? I've been able to do that since I was a kid
Anyway, everytime you do, your spine compresses and you get lose an inch of height

Can fly faster than a fighter jet

You die if you break the sound barrier you'll also be seen as a hostile in friendly skies

But I don't have vulcan cannons or anything I'm just a guy.

Cant slow down or land correctly

Ability to commune with animals

Gets motion sickness

Can materialize anything I want from my pockets

All animals talk shit to you and treat you like a beta

They're all painfully dumb and slow compared to you

Can fuck the woman of my dreams

But it's still mostly lint

My spirit can leave my body to see other places.

She disappears after you physically fuck her

Sounds to good to be true!! Lol

This isn't a nerf

Yeah man that's alright

I'm Kakacarrotcake

Every time you travel through the internet you use the unreliable transport protocol UDP. If any of your packets drop you lose a part of your dick when you exit the internet.

>ability to alter reality

It can't come back.

Can make anyone become a suicidal depressed degenerate

But only if your physical body has both thumbs up your ass

You always alter it in a shitty or detrimental way

I can teleport wherever I want to go.

Is on Sup Forums

But you always phase into a wall next to the target location

But each time you do, you bring something alien and unfriendly along with you.

Power to appear as anyone else at any time.

>Can only visit 9gag

Always appear with Nigel Thornberrys nose and mustache

I dig the alien idea

your power only lasts 1 nanosecond

Smashing

You forget your original identity everytime you do it

You become a meme and get hijacked by normies.

My power would be invincibility.

Can time travel to the past and future at will

Get stuck under a rock you can't lift forever.

But you can't move spacially while doing it.
Which means the Earth is elsewhere, but you are in your previous physical location, that is now the vacuum of space.

Penis gets 1 inch smaller every time you travel.

Spatially* high

Oh shit this is too good

First time you go into the past you go beyond the beginning of the universe and cease to exist.

>i can make impenetrable force fields

You cannot interact with anyone or anything and you can only stay for a maximum of 5 minutes. You also forget everything that happened after returning for 5 minutes.

Ability to instantly repair the little grip bit on pens that you use to hang them on a shirt pocket that everyone seems to either chew on or just snap off.

It doesn't help you penetrate women

You prefer to use pencils though

Conjure any item at will.

Those force fields grow larger and larger every second, and never go away. They cut buildings, people, and the earth itself eventually, in half.

It's always broken or misshapen

But if you stay more than 30 seconds your tether to your previous location will dissolve and you'll lose your powers.

can crash the economy of the world

Not too bad. A misshapen lump of Rhodium is still worth the same as a pretty lump of Rhodium.

Global enemy #1

The force fields created are exactly a 1x1 metre square with a 1mm thickness. You can only create 1 force field at a time and once you've created one it will persist for exactly 15 minutes. You also cannot re-position the current force field.

superuser/root access to my own brain
>inb4 brick myself

It could still work, I'd use the power occasionally

Right. Most people are vain, and would conjure cars, clothing, or whatever, so I took a shot at that.

I like your style.

The economic consequences cause one of your family members to either get sick and not be able to afford treatment, get depression and kill themselves, die of starvation, etc...

Can end the Muslim rapefugee crisis in Europe.

Whoever reads any of my online posts, has their mother die in her sleep the next night.

The syntax and file structure is too complicated for you to understand, and there's no manual.

Fuck up a single line and end up in vegetative state
>bricked

After every access, you have to listen to the sound, and smell the result of a nasty fart for an hour.

And all of those items are wild bears

Can pull infinite amounts of fully cooked, delicious pans of chicken pot pie out of my pants at any time at will with no explanation needed

Can get dubs on command. Like right now.

Gets raped by refugee right after

It still burns your crotch genius.

>can crash the economy of the world
Everyone knows it was you

>able to learn any material in less than a day

You become incapable of digesting chicken (or any meat) and have to pick those pieces out. Any lingering flavor makes you nauseous.

can kill anything in one punch.

Then they all come to your country and take your jobs, rape your women and make laws inhibiting the society of your countrymen

You decide to become a hermit instead

can get a blowjob from darkseid and doomsday

I can wear SCP-399

Why tho

identifyingwood.jpg
by "material" it means literal physical material, not reading material.

But only if they don't reply to your post

Requires piss as a reagent, therefore you must piss your pants.

Only foster children can read your posts.

You are clumsy af and trip and accidentally punch yourself. comprehend fully anything I pay attention to.

Has to be a black man only

Or a jew

Don't forget the sandnigger.

Can play a song I just heard on piano with no prior practice.

But you can't play it well.

You brick yourself

I can control what people say with global range

Your cock has no feeling while inside of her.

That's okay I'm a footfag

You inflict an equal amount of depression upon yourself each time.

XD

you get the hiccups after every 5th note.

can make Superman x Batman becomes canon

Surely this just makes you the ultimate supervillain? You could operate from a cave in fucking afghanistan and absolutely demolish the infrastructure of a global superpower just by altering reality. What's more, you could observe this chaos you're causing and nobody would catch and shoot you until 2011.

You must be vegan and lose your powers if you break veganism

Can kill anything just by thinking about it.

>can see the future

You cannot breathe and your heart stops while accessing the shell

>can't see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch

I get at least 2 (You)s every time I post.

You can only think of people when you have your dick inside of them

I can bring dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures back to life

you forget this board is made up of sociopaths and estranged family members. I like your idea though user

Can only see everything in its future state. Kinda think of it like your body is in the present but you only see the future

>get sad
>think about killing yourself
>die

Or they have to be related to you

I wish m8