Christians

Christians....

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biblehub.com/genesis/5-4.htm
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so all 3 sons fucked their mothers?

have you been on Sup Forums lately? the number of mumcest threads and you still think it can't happen

athiests: 0 christians: 666

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Good point.

When did I say I was an atheist?

How can you know that they had only three sons not like dunno a hundred of sons

Shortly after you said you were retarded

hot as fuck

3 sons?!?
Those assholes birthed TRIBES
Yes lots of incest, but they didnt have a life expectancy. They lived and fucked for enough time to produce a sustainable population
Many sons and daughters
All fucking

Not only this, but Noah built the ark and only his family was onboard, so when the floods subsided the Earth was repopulated through incest a 2nd time.

i came
those christians are kinky fuckers

i guess that explains your mental retardedness

Spirit beings.

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Because the book doesn't talk about them so there's zero justification for saying they existed, if you're coming from a biblical standpoint.

If you're a desperate apologist then anything's possible. Of course this would also mean that God is the architect of the Matrix and Xenu is real. Once you go outside the book, ANYTHING is possible.

I never said I believed Genesis.

gross.

Where does it say that in the bible?

major plot hole.

Xenu's thetans maybe?

White people are a product of repeated incest.

ooh, sciency

Honestly surprised there are not more.

you never said you weren't retarded either, that was just heavily implied.

3 sons?
I went to catholic school and they told me the sons of adam and eve were cain and abel.
when their business was sorted cain wandered the earth and found a woman to be his wife. I never understood that this wife for cain was just out there waiting for him.

Wrong. Cain went to the land of Nod and had kids with their daughter(s).
Also wrong. Noah's family was accompanied by locals who provided them with their skills whoch were needed to rebuild civilization.

How the fuck did people, fellow Christians included, ever fall for this meme? Read your fucking bibles.

biblehub.com/genesis/5-4.htm
After Seth was born, Adam lived 800 years and had other sons and daughters.

if you are giong to argue a point with the metaphorical bible like a strictly-literal-interpretting retard, at least pick on the 800 years part.

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"All we are told about Adam's offspring is that the first son was named Cain, the second son named Abel [Genesis 4:1-2 ], then after Abel's murder, another son named Seth was "begotten when Adam was 130 years old." After that, Adam "begot sons and daughters" [Genesis 5:3-4]. This same passage also tells us that Adam lived for 930 years [Genesis 5:5]."

the earth wasn't flooded. cities were flooded. populations outside of the doomed areas were fine.

how wrong is

>when their business was sorted cain wandered the earth and found a woman to be his wife. I never understood that this wife for cain was just out there waiting for him.
this OP, you don't know shit

You forgot Seth, grandfather of Noah.

Oh OK, that makes the Noah myth totally believable.

I'm totally convinced he was able to get the Kangaroos from Australia, the Lemurs from Madagascar, Sloths from South America, and Wolves from Alaska on his ark.

Seems legit.

it's a little cringey how you didn't even research your euphoria ahead.

>God still killed more children than abortion and Satan ever did

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yeah but if you're gonna count, then you can also count the ones he created and saved, so it's not like that reasoning would work against anything.

>He forbids murder
Guess it makes sense what with

5:4 The length of time Adam lived after he became the father of Seth was 800 years; during this time he had other sons and daughters

Ya goon

That's ridiculous.

Likely accurate. Lots of people wrote the canon known as the Chritian bible. Not only is much of it summarizations of preexisting works, as evidenced if Genesis (THIS IS THE BOOK OF THE GENERATUONS OF NOAH, THIS IS THE BOOK OF THE GENERATIONS OF MOSES, etc), but people have taken it upon themselves to say shit like "THIS IS THE COMPLETE AND INERRANT WORD OF GOD" to bolster their own standing and neglect unincluded information that would have challenged their misconceptions.

Sincerely,
A devoted Christian

You're right that makes way more sense

citation needed.

So if I only kill 1/3 of the living breathing people I, the holy FATHER, created I'm still a good guy.

You have to be really brainwashed to rationalize that.

2 Timothy 3:16
All Scripture is inspired by God
Its a shame you can't blame the humans for this one.

Genetic preservation is an rediscovered art. Yes, Christians can be ancient astronaut theories too.

Can't wait to kill my children, after all i created them so i have the right.

look man the bible isn't meant to be taken literally
roman catholics (the only not savage religion) literally have every single belief they're supposed to believe laid out in black and white in the catechism and a lot of it is super open ended so it all boils down to don't be a dick anyway

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Finally, something interesting.

Let me ask you then, as a "devoted Christian". How do you feel about the same 'previous works' argument being made about Jesus? After all, no one disputes that the Gospels weren't written down until decades and centuries after they allegedly happened.

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Very nice user

>Genetic preservation
So how do you get the DNA for the sloths in South America without going to South America? Using scientific buzzwords doesn't fix the problem.

Such is life.

Well I guess Timothy was a smug prick.

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>Christians can be ancient astronaut theories too.
I really like thinking about that old stuff in terms of ancient aliens.

Oh this is a fun book somewhat along those lines

Pastwatch: Redemption

One of the subthemes has to do with why columbus killing off the natives was a good thing.

No my son. Life is not worth of being mocked. Only stupid shit like Santa, Xenu, and Jehova are ridiculous.

>All Scripture is inspired by God
More than that - "This is the word of the lord" goes beyond inspired by

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Pretty sure that is not in the bible, just something the Catholics invented.

He was in the Gilgamesh epic where ape people had to be taught by hookers to be human and someone fought mechanical bulls with laser beams. Fuck yeah he could have gone to Australia.

Im an atheist, but genesis 5:4 said that Adam was a randy dog later in life

Feels good man

Comedy wouldn't be such a respected art had life not been filled with ridiculous shit.

I like how theologically unsophisticated people think literal reading is even intended in every case. Just so you know, it's pretty much only Hasidic Jews, WASPs, and Muslims that insist on literalism.

They wanted to invoke that spooky cult appeal a little more i guess.

It was lilith? God made Eve twice.

Well it is the word of god, so you not taking it literally is blasphemy. I mean God did tell you to kill all gays and non believers, but you should ignore that part, even though it is the word of you almighty, allknowing god.

Do sit at the back of biology class laughing you head off at the material?

We're talking about the biology of incest.

I agree, why would any followers of a religion take it literally.

holy shit man can get pregnant

Fuk muh nek

U cant go around just making up stuff

>you not taking it literally is blasphemy

I know you think you're trolling here, but that's not what blasphemy is.

>I mean God did tell you to kill all gays and non believers...

Where? protip: you won't find it

hasidic jews are based af
>hater

lists scientific method and quantum mechanics.

Isaiah 34:7
And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness.

Psalm 29:6
He maketh them also to skip like a calf; Lebanon and Sirion like a young unicorn

Job 39:10
Canst thou bind the unicorn with his band in the furrow? or will he harrow the valleys after thee?

Numbers 24:8
God brought him forth out of Egypt; he hath as it were the strength of an unicorn:

You better start taking this seriously m8

atheism is the religion of not getting laid

I've never found anything that mirrored the life of Christ. Some people say Horus, some say Osiris, some Tammuz or Dimizu, some say Lucifer himself, but I am of the opinion that these stories are glorifications of the attempted (and earthly success) of the overthrow of He who is behind all of creation.

So, you couldn't find the part where the bible commands killing all gays and non-believers, huh? Checkmate.

Same can be said about Auschwitz.
>There are no 6 million

I've heard good things about this author.

>glass_stones_throw_houses.epub

That wasn't me, think that shit is in Leviticus or something.

This. At some point you believe all of it, or none of it. That's why they came up with the Gospels being ineffable. Because people had doubts.

Also dragons though
Revelation 12
And there appeared a great wonder in heaven; a woman clothed with the sun, and the moon under her feet, and upon her head a crown of twelve stars: And she being with child cried, travailing in birth, and pained to be delivered. And there appeared another wonder in heaven; and behold a great red dragon, having seven heads and ten horns, and seven crowns upon his heads

Psalm 91:13
Thou shalt tread upon the lion and adder: the young lion and the dragon shalt thou trample under feet

Isaiah 27:1
In that day the Lord with his sore and great and strong sword shall punish leviathan the piercing serpent, even leviathan that crooked serpent; and he shall slay the dragon that is in the sea

Isaiah 43:20
The beast of the field shall honour me, the dragons and the owls

Jeremiah 14:6
And the wild asses did stand in the high places, they snuffed up the wind like dragons

Revelation 12:4
And his tail drew the third part of the stars of heaven, and did cast them to the earth: and the dragon stood before the woman which was ready to be delivered, for to devour her child as soon as it was born

Christians have to be married to get any pussy and they're only supposed to pound that one piece for the rest of their life.

Your move, asshole.

Regarding the OT you seemed to actually be rational, but now you're blaming every question on some invisible Boss-level bad guy?

Dude.... just, I can't even.

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Inbred kids look funny. Sure.

The part in Leviticus that you are referring to says homosexuality is an abomination. It never says people are to kill people for it.

Also, on the point of the unicorn, you're aware that when the KJV bible was translated 400 some odd years ago, the word unicorn was faily common name for the variety of rhino that only has one horn, yeah?

Leviticus 20:13 on the gay thing. Pretty fucking clear.

patheos.com/blogs/dispatches/2015/01/22/yes-the-bible-does-say-to-kill-infidels/

regarding the 2nd part.

They had some wicked heroin back then.

no, salvia

You are willfully ignorant.


Leviticus 20:13New Living Translation (NLT)

>13 “If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense.

>put to death
>death

>woman with a dragon
>seven crowns

Couldn't agree more

Look, I don't know what your implying here, but for the record, I'm very into it.

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Heroin addicts "chase the dragon"

Revelation is a vision, and post-dates the other books of the bible by centuries. It was included in the canon because the Council of Nicaea liked it more than the other apocalypses floating around at the time. Note that Jesus himself -never- mentioned hell as a place of eternal torture, and likely never conceived of such a thing.

The other references you list are clearly poetic in nature. Crap man, you even list one in psalms.

Try harder.

>Christians have to be married to get any pussy and they're only supposed to pound that one piece for the rest of their life.

You seem to think all Christians believe Paul or something.

>Anonymous 05/20/17(Sat)16:16:32 No.733
Lol and where and when did god create the land of Nod? it just happens to be there. and gods created other people. when stating Adam and Eve are the only ones? fuck outta here

no, we come from the assorted generations of noah and his siblings, and their assorted wives, who were long long descendants of the few hundred of mankind he put on this earth. we may have some really minor ties to adam and eve, but 90% of adam and eves descendants died in the flood.