Decided to message a good friend of mine...

Decided to message a good friend of mine. We've been dating here and there and have recently gotten more serious about it. I just messaged her and she simply said this. Time to troll my own gf! Dubs, give me your best!

Dont talk to me or my son ever again

I really think you should get a hysterectomy

Your mother was tighter than you.

This

You CUNT!

Sharpie in pooper

I wasn't going to tell you this, but I fucked your little sister.

this pls

...

roll

I got the herps. Figured I should let you know before this got any more serious. I really love you and don't want this to be an issue in the future.

kek

Winrar

Brutal

confirmed winrar

Oh shit, Sup Forums.

He dubbed with dubs.

I'm sorry.

Just wanna eat that shitter like an apple fritter.

if dubs: "hey, a few extra bumps shouldn't be that bad ;)"
besides, if she gets grossed out by a condition you easily can work around, she doesn't really love you / is not mature enough for a serious relationship...

then again, since you're trolling her, I guess you aren't either.

...

A healthy relationship is built on honesty right? Please don't be mad.

I thought you should know. I'm sorry.

Yo, this shit just got real!

you're fucking retarded op originialioio

Rollan.

I also want to keep our relationship open. I'm still having sex with my ex, I hope it doesn't really bother you.

Well if I told you before you wouldn't have had sex with me Ashley....

WINNER

my checks hurt from how stretched out they get from me grinning.

topkek

Its only herpes. Its not that big a deal. Calm down. Can I come over?

roll

roll

Kek

Tell her she needs to get tested asap

Oh damn

But we can make it past this, we can beat this baby.
The doctor said that I'm not directly affected by the desies and it only lays dormant in me, so I have no symptoms and it won't be leathal to me honey. Only those that I have physical contact with (kissing, sex, oral... etc.) will have to endure the real symptoms. I'm praying for you baby. Go to the doc. ASAP and let me know how it's going.

Idiot

WINRAR!!

lets have herpsex

So now is not a good time to talk about hepatitis I assume..?

roll

99/1 was an inside job

This

Roll

Haha!

I need you to support me, I have been struggling with my sexuality, I caught it having sex with a guy. I think I might be bi.

Calm down its only herpes. Can I come over?

thus

roll

Fake

It's fine none of the others i had sex with had any problems

kek

Wasted dubs.

I need you to support me, I have been struggling with my sexuality, I caught it having sex with a guy. I think I might be bi.

rolll

/thread
kek

No use in crying about it I just wanted to keep you forever and now you can't possibly leave me seeing as you're almost certain to have herpes as I just finished a recent outbreak before I smashed you.

please do this one

I'm messing, c'mon, lighten up
if you cant take a joke how are you gonna take my cock in ur ass??

Roll

...

"hey hey my friend! don't get upset... NEVER HEARD OF PULLING OUT YOU IGNORANT BITCH???2

...

Also, I think I'm pregnant

Dan the man...

omegle raid anyone?

Also i am pregnant.

By far the worst is the hamburger lady, and because of shortage right now of 'qualified technicians', e.g. technicians who can work with her and keep their last meal down, Screwloose Lauritzen and I have been alternating nights with her, unrelievedly. If you put a 250-lb meatloaf in the oven and then burned it and then followed that by propping it up on a potty-chair to greet you at 11pm each night, you would have some description of these past two weeks. Which is to say the worst I seen since viet napalms. When somebody tells you that there is a level of pain beyond which the human mind cannot retain consciousness, please tell them to write me. In point of fact this lady has not slept more than 3-5 minutes at a stretch since she came to us - that was over two weeks ago and, thanks to medical advances, there is no end in sight; from the waist (waste?) up everything is burned off, ears, nose etc - lower half is untouched and that, I guess, is what keeps her alive. I took one guy in to help me change tubes and he did alright, that is alright till he came out, then he spotted one of the burn nurses (pleasant smiling zombies) eating a can of chile-mac at the desk, and that did it: he flashed on the carpet. It is fucking insane is what it is.

Only niggers complain about such things

diabetus in ur anus

>DRUMPF WON!!!!
Ummm... no sweetie, he lost by a massive margin. Hillary Clinton won by over SIX MILLION votes.
She is the true winner. She is who the American people chose. Any time a drumpf supporter tries to brag, I laugh HARD in their face, and educate them with the facts. It feels good being on the right side of herstory. Drumpf is literally the least popular candidate of all time.

Could u come over and make me a sandwich?

You should be scared of the possibility of being trapped with me in marital herpedom. My genius knows no bounds.

winrar

gg

OK, let's get serious right now. Let's have a threesome with your friend. I will use a condom, I swear

WINRAR

rull

roll

roll again

I'm just kidding about the STDs. Just trying to lighten the mood for when I tell you that I took a sample of some of your pee a couple days ago. You're preganant, and I'm leaving.

roll x3

Aw shiet

send her this pic

DELIVER!!!

WINRAR

I'm being serious. Get checked.

roll

Roll this.

rolling for this

winrar

Yumm yum yuuum.... yum yum

Yuummy yuuumy?

this

I want you to carry my lizard babies

Oops, sorry

Kek wills it

Ok, the real tuth is, I'm pregnant. Don't ask how it happened or how does it work, it's just a thing now. Please raise our bastard child with me

I thought that STD would be a good icebreaker. Now let's get serious. Come over

Think of it as being like the twilight series but instead of being immortal you got infected with herpes instead.

i seek God! wither is God? i shall tell you:God is dead; and we have killed him. what shall cleanse our hands of the big of that which is most sacred? what festivals of atonement must we invent? now that we have killed God, must we not become gods ourselves?