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CIA Bloggs's Diary
A Care Romance
by BIG GUY 4U

CIA Bloggs is a big, large and prized officer from the pit. His life is going nowhere until he meets BANE , a huge, enourmous man with a passion for masks.

CIA takes an instant disliking to BANE and the small and tiny ways he learnt during his years in the sky.

However, when a big guy tries to shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane CIA, BANE springs to the rescue. CIA begins to notices that BANE is actually rather valuable at heart.

But, the pressures of BANE's job as a masked man leave him blind to CIA's affections and CIA takes up plans to try an distract himself.

Finally, when puny mercenary, Dr. Pavel , threatens to come between them, BANE has to act fast. But will they ever find the care love that they deserve?

The Curse of the Sharp Knife
A Horror Story
by user
Whilst investigating the death of a local nurse, a Cute stoner called Kristen Stewart uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, sharp knife circulating throughout A small town in Maine. As soon as anyone uses the knife, he or she has exactly 24 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look skeletal. A marked person feels like a quiet kitten to touch.

Kristen gets hold of the knife, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a frozen goldfish balancing on a dirty nurse, an old newspaper headline about a boating accident, a hooded mouse ranting about feet and a drinking well located in a grey place.

When Kristen notices her armpits have kitten-like properties, she realises that the curse of the sharp knife is true and calls in her boyfriend, a shopkeeper called Jesse Eisenberg, to help.

Jesse examines the knife and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the frozen goldfish balancing on a dirty nurse particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Kristen and Jesse pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded mouse. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Spacekino right here

Galactic Sunny Pistol Wars
A Science Fiction Plot
by Penn Nayme

A long, long time ago in a sunny, sunny galaxy...

After leaving the squat planet Tatooine, a group of ghosts fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into an important, space towers.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Sheev , a pretty alien capable of adultery and even assassination.

Terrified, a sizzling sprite known as Hugh Mann flees the Empire, with his protector, Ay LeeAnn.

They head for Madrid on the planet Scoboni. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. LeeAnn uses his sunny pistol to defend Hugh.

LeeAnn and Sprite Hugh decide it's time to leave Scoboni and steal a lorry to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of trolls. LeeAnn is attacked and the sprite is captured by the trolls and taken back to Madrid.

LeeAnn must fight to save Sprite Hugh but when he accidentally unearths a violent guillotine, the entire future of the sunny, squat galaxy is at stake.

Murder in London
A Crime Thriller
by MOM'S GONNA FREAK
Mangled dicks have been turning up all over London and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a dildo, and still nobody has a clue who the edgy killer is.

THE JOKAH BAYBEE is a pale and crazy student with a fondness for BBC. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the freak killer.

When his cousin, Jared Leto, is kidnapped, THE BAYBEE finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a minuscule porn magazine.

He enlists the help of an insane CIA Agent called Bill Wilson.

Can Wilson help BAYBEE overcome his memes addiction and find the answers before the brutal killer and his deadly dildo strike again?

The Holiday to Inspired By That Same French Excellence just do anything?
A Summer's Tale
by Paul Masson

Paul Masson is an AWAAAHH inspired by that same French excellence from fermented in the bottle California. He leads a celebrated for its excellence life. However, all that changes when Paul books a summer holiday to inspired by that same French excellence just do anything?.

At first Paul finds just do anything? very vintage dated. Then there's the mysterious, no. sorry. cut. vintage dated, California champagne, who makes him feel AADAHH.

When California invites him on a drink expedition, Paul begins to realise that California is a deeply ACTION PLEASE ORSON and Action woman.

Paul knows in his heart that California is the woman for him. However, to secure his happiness, Paul must fend off the edusndoanythin? fermented in the bottle, French champagne, who wants to get his claws into California.

Using her fermented bottle and a mutual love of AAAHEOANAIDC, Paul sets out to snare California once and for all. But will the no. sorry. cut. inspired by that same French excellence return his affections?

kekerino

Whilst investigating the death of a local Model, a Mommy Mommy called Jessica Chastain uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, sticky fleshlight circulating throughout Basement. As soon as anyone uses the fleshlight, he or she has exactly 22 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look gay. A marked person feels like a cuck frog to touch.

Jessica gets hold of the fleshlight, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into her mind: a manlet spider balancing on an uggo Model, an old newspaper headline about an accidental sex accident, a hooded harambe ranting about tits and a drinking well located in a wet place.

When Jessica notices her ass have frog-like properties, she realises that the curse of the sticky fleshlight is true and calls in her mommy, a Milkman called Neet Shitposter, to help.

Neet examines the fleshlight and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the manlet spider balancing on an uggo Model particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Jessica and Neet pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded harambe. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

I want to fuck her so bad. Also take your gay shit back to redddit op
This is now a MILKY thread

CIA looked at the peculiar knife in his hands and felt angry.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his guy surroundings. He had always loved big plane with its panicky, puny pavel. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel angry.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of BANE . BANE was an admirable god with skinny moles and pointy fingernails.

CIA gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a funny, considerate, squash drinker with fluffy moles and solid fingernails. His friends saw him as a handsome, huge hero. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a stormy old man.

But not even a funny person who had once jumped into a river and saved a stormy old man, was prepared for what BANE had in store today.

The moon shone like dancing toads, making CIA calm.

As CIA stepped outside and BANE came closer, he could see the naughty glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want fire rising," BANE bellowed, in a violent tone. He slammed his fist against CIA's chest, with the force of 6002 dogs. "I frigging love you, CIA ."

CIA looked back, even more calm and still fingering the peculiar knife. "BANE, hothead," he replied.

They looked at each other with worried feelings, like two tired, tender tortoises jumping at a very tight-fisted wedding, which had classical music playing in the background and two cold-blooded uncles thinking to the beat.

CIA studied BANE's skinny moles and pointy fingernails. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, but I can't give you fire rising," he explained, in pitying tones.

BANE looked irritable, his body raw like a tight, tired teapot.

CIA could actually hear BANE's body shatter into 9086 pieces. Then the admirable god hurried away into the distance.

Not even a beaker of squash would calm CIA's nerves tonight.

THE END

Mean Hooligan
A Screenplay by memerman

EXT. AIRFIELD - AFTERNOON

Cocky CIA Agent CIA BILL WILSON is arguing with gentle terrorist BANE . BILL tries to hug BANE but he shakes him off.

BILL
Please Bane, don't leave me.

BANE
I'm sorry Bill, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

BILL
I am such a person!

BANE frowns.

BANE
I'm sorry, Bill. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

BANE leaves.

BILL sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, Big Nuclear Scientist DR PAVEL HERE barges in looking flustered.

BILL
Goodness, Pavel! Is everything okay?

PAVEL
I'm afraid not.

BILL
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

PAVEL
It's ... a hooligan ... I saw an evil hooligan exterminate a bunch of small guys!

BILL
Defenseless small guys?

PAVEL
Yes, defenseless small guys!

BILL
Bloomin' heck, Pavel! We've got to do something.

PAVEL
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

BILL
You can start by telling me where this happened.

PAVEL
I was...

PAVEL fans himself and begins to wheeze.

BILL
Focus Pavel, focus! Where did it happen?

PAVEL
Plane! That's right - Plane!

BILL springs up and begins to run.

The Sun that Shone like Singing Frogs
A Paranormal Romance

Shane Ball suspected something was a little off when his hilarious grandma tried to club him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly forgetful frog, Carla Walker, that his life finally began to make sense.

However, Carla proved to be snooty and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with eating. Shane soon learnt that Carla had taken an oath never to pleasure a human being.

When Shane's hilarious grandma is injured in a safari accident, Shane realises his own life is at risk.

Despite Carla's thirst for blood and translucent body, Shane finds himself falling for the frog. Only fate will decided whether she kills or protects him.

One night, a fallen angel appears before Shane and warns him of a darkness within Carla. The fallen angel gives Shane the giant pistol - the only weapon that can defeat a forgetful frog.

Will Shane find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly frightened? (Hint: yes!)

EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS

BILL rushes along the street, followed by PAVEL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

INT. PLANE - SHORTLY AFTER

MASKETTA MAN a mean hooligan terrorises two small guys.

BILL, closely followed by PAVEL, rushes towards MASKETTA, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

PAVEL
What is is? What's the matter?

BILL
That's not just any old hooligan, that's Masketta Man!

PAVEL
Who's Masketta Man?

BILL
Who's Masketta Man? Who's Masketta Man? Only the most mean hooligan in the universe!

PAVEL
Blinkin' knickers, Bill! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean hooligan in the universe!

BILL
You can say that again.

PAVEL
Blinkin' knickers, Bill! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most mean hooligan in the universe!

BILL
I'm going to need pistols, lots of pistols.

Masketta turns and sees Bill and Pavel. He grins an evil grin.

MASKETTA
Bill Wilson, we meet again.

PAVEL
You've met?

BILL
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

plot-generator.org.uk/g1puac/tryhard-juden.html

Tempting the Grass-fed Zombie Shark
A Paranormal Romance
by Daniel Craig

Big Mammeries McGee suspected something was a little off when her titiful horse grandpa tried to bathe her when she was just six years old. Nevertheless, she lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

It wasn't until she bumped into the devilishly grass-fed Zombie Shark, Skinny Pale Falgot, that her life finally began to make sense.

However, Skinny Pale proved to be horse like and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with popping and locking. Big Mammeries soon learnt that Skinny Pale had taken an oath never to strangle a human being.

When Big Mammeries's titiful horse grandpa is injured in a vehicular manslaughter accident, Big Mammeries realises her own life is at risk.

Despite Skinny Pale's putrid stench and bone manparts, Big Mammeries finds herself falling for the Zombie Shark. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects her.

One night, a bear appears before Big Mammeries and warns her of a darkness within Skinny Pale. The bear gives Big Mammeries the slimy 18 inch pink glitter marital aid - the only weapon that can defeat a grass-fed Zombie Shark.

Will Big Mammeries find it in herself to kill the only creature who has ever made her feel truly smooth like non-chunky peanut butter? (Hint: yes!)

EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME

A young BILL is sitting in a park listening to some reggae music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees MASKETTA. He takes off his headphones.

MASKETTA
Would you like some jelly babies?

BILL's eyes light up, but then he studies MASKETTA more closely, and looks uneasy.

BILL
I don't know, you look kind of mean.

MASKETTA
Me? No. I'm not mean. I'm the least mean hooligan in the world.

BILL
Wait, you're a hooligan?

BILL runs away, screaming.

>I am here because I want fire rising," BANE bellowed, in a violent tone. He slammed his fist against CIA's chest, with the force of 6002 dogs

Death by Knife
A Crime Thriller
by BigGuy12312
Mangled fingers have been turning up all over the plane and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a knife, and still nobody has a clue who the tiny killer is.

Agent Bill Wilson is a Big and powerful penis inspector with a fondness for crashing planes. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the cucked killer.

When his friend, Dr Pavel, is kidnapped, Agent Wilson finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a hard Flight plan.

He enlists the help of an embiggened NEET called Masketta Man.

Can Man help Wilson overcome his throwing men out of planes addiction and find the answers before the JUST killer and his deadly knife strike again?

I have absolutely no regrets

Beautiful Cara
A Magical Romance
by A. N. Onymous
Margot Robbie is a beautiful, cute and loving actress from Australia. Her life is going nowhere until she meets Cara Delevingne, a fridgelike, stunning woman with a passion for pale chicks.

Margot takes an instant disliking to Cara and the naughty and selfish ways she learnt during her years in England.

However, when a neckbeard tries to bang Margot, Cara springs to the rescue. Margot begins to notices that Cara is actually rather caring at heart.

But, the pressures of Cara's job as a model leave her blind to Margot's affections and Margot takes up yoga to try an distract herself.

Finally, when horny ninja, Karen Fukuhara, threatens to come between them, Cara has to act fast. But will they ever find the magical love that they deserve?

INT. PLANE - PRESENT DAY

MASKETTA
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

PAVEL
(To BILL) You ran away?

BILL
(To PAVEL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

BILL turns to MASKETTA.

BILL
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

BILL runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

BILL
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with pistols.

MASKETTA
I'm not scared of you.

BILL
You should be.


EXT. PLANE WRECKAGE - LATER THAT DAY

BILL and PAVEL walk around searching for something.

BILL
I feel sure I left my pistols somewhere around here.

PAVEL
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly pistols.

BILL
You know nothing Pavel Here.

PAVEL
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, MASKETTA appears, holding a pair of pistols.

MASKETTA
Looking for something?

PAVEL
Crikey, Bill, he's got your pistols.

BILL
Tell me something I don't already know!

PAVEL
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

BILL
I know that already!

PAVEL
I'm in charge here.

MASKETTA
(appalled) Dude!

While MASKETTA is looking at PAVEL with disgust, BILL lunges forward and grabs his deadly pistols. He wields them, triumphantly.

BILL
Prepare to die, you mean carrot!

MASKETTA
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of small guys!

BANE enters, unseen by any of the others.

BILL
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those small guys were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Bill Wilson defender of innocent small guys.

MASKETTA
Don't hurt me! Please!

BILL
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these pistols on you right away!

MASKETTA
Because Bill, I am your father.

BILL looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

BILL
No you're not!

The reviews are also priceless

MASKETTA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

MASKETTA tries to grab the pistols but BILL dodges out of the way.

BILL
Who's the daddy now? Huh? Huh?

Unexpectedly, MASKETTA slumps to the ground.

PAVEL
Did he just faint?

BILL
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly pistols.

BILL crouches over MASKETTA's body.

PAVEL
Be careful, Bill. It could be a trick.

BILL
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Masketta Man is dead!

BILL
What?

BILL
Yes, it appears that I scared him to death.

PAVEL claps his hands.

PAVEL
So your pistols did save the day, after all.

BANE steps forward.

BANE
Is it true? Did you kill the mean hooligan?

BILL
Bane how long have you been...?

BANE puts his arm around BILL.

BANE
Long enough.

BILL
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Masketta Man.

BANE
Then the small guys are safe?

BILL
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable small guys enter, looking relived.

BANE
You are their hero.

The small guys bow to BILL.

BILL
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Masketta Man will never exterminate small guys ever again, is enough for me.

BANE
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the small guys passes BILL a breathing mask

BANE
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

BILL
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

BILL
Well, if you insist.

BILL takes the mask.

BILL
Thank you.

The small guys bow their heads once more, and leave.

BILL turns to BANE.

BILL
Does this mean you want me back?

BANE
Oh, Bill, of course I want you back!

BILL smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

BILL
Well you can't have me.

BANE
WHAT?

BILL
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a hooligan to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

BANE
But...

BILL
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Pavel.

PAVEL grins.

BANE
But...

PAVEL
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

BANE
Bill?

BILL
I'm sorry Bane, but I think you should skidaddle.

BANE leaves.

PAVEL turns to BILL.

PAVEL
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

BILL
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly PAVEL stops.

PAVEL
When I said I'm in charge here, you know I was just trying to distract the hooligan don't you?

THE END

"As always, an embiggened NEET makes the best sidekick." - Hit the Spoof

Tempting the Sexy Shape Shifter
A Paranormal Romance
by Jane Doe

>user Bloggs suspected something was a little off when her noble sis tried to pleasure her when she was just six years old. Nevertheless, she lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

>It wasn't until she bumped into the devilishly sexy shape shifter, Buffy Summers, that her life finally began to make sense.

>However, Buffy proved to be scintillating and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with playing video games. user soon learnt that Buffy had taken an oath never to massage a human being.

>When user's noble sis is injured in a golfing accident, user realises her own life is at risk.

>Despite Buffy's long hair and sex tits, user finds herself falling for the shape shifter. Only fate will decided whether she kills or protects her.

>One night, a white appears before user and warns her of a darkness within Buffy. The white gives user the moist spoon - the only weapon that can defeat a sexy shape shifter.

>Will user find it in herself to kill the only creature who has ever made her feel truly alive? (Hint: yes!)

Dear Hiro,

I have some news, which I think you will find disruptive.

Over the last ten f*cking years, I have found working for Sup Forums both sexy and bumpy.

It's fair to say that my mom is ample and mods are spiky, but this has not stopped me from finding the work sexy.

I have really enjoyed sitting with my mom and stealing stunning hotpockets from colleagues' desks. But all good things must come to an end.

As time has passed, I've found that my dreams of becoming a banker have become increasingly frequent. Last week I took the plunge and bought myself hotpocket. I dream of getting up in the morning and fapping, something that my current job fails to nurture. Now all I need is money and I'm almost there.

Thus I must resign from my job as janitor, to pursue my true calling as a banker.

In your role as my superior, you have been the picture of patience, which is why I leave with a disruptive heart.

Best of luck with your continued pursuit of money.

Yours sincerely
Janitor

--The Clouds that Danced like Gyrating Badgers--
A Short Story
by Shitfest

David Kekelstein had always hated dank Helsinki with its nutritious, nasty n1ggers. It was a place where he felt baffled.

He was a vile, cold-blooded, squash drinker with curvaceous abs and fluffy warts. His friends saw him as a vivacious, vague volcano. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a gleaming disabled person. That's the sort of man he was.

David walked over to the window and reflected on his sh1tty surroundings. The clouds danced like gyrating badgers.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Maria Sanchez. Maria was a tactless dolphin with spiky abs and greasy warts.

David gulped. He was not prepared for Maria.

As David stepped outside and Maria came closer, he could see the wrong glint in his eye.

Maria glared with all the wrath of 142 adorable dangerous donkeys. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want the pussay."

David looked back, even more tempted and still fingering the shit covered map. "Maria, I am a table," he replied.

They looked at each other with suprised feelings, like two elated, evil elephants pulsing at a very sinister dolphin killing festival, which had flute music playing in the background and two brutal uncles running to the beat.

David regarded Maria's spiky abs and greasy warts. "I feel the same way!" revealed David with a delighted grin.

Maria looked bored, his emotions blushing like a bad, barbecued banana.

Then Maria came inside for a nice beaker of squash.
THE END

plot-generator.org.uk/p6lo0n/mohammad-cockle-cuck.html

I like that. I like that a lot

Tempting the Autistic Goose
A Paranormal Romance
by Anonymous

Nicolas Winding-Refn suspected something was a little off when his bean wife's son tried to fight him when he was just six years old. Nevertheless, he lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

It wasn't until he bumped into the devilishly autistic goose, Ryan Gosling, that his life finally began to make sense.

However, Ryan proved to be human and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with driving. Nicolas soon learnt that Ryan had taken an oath never to kill a human being.

When Nicolas's bean wife's son is injured in a car accident, Nicolas realises his own life is at risk.

Despite Ryan's dirty hands and scorpion jacket, Nicolas finds himself falling for the goose. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects him.

One night, a pleb appears before Nicolas and warns him of a darkness within Ryan. The plebs gives Nicolas the real hammer - the only weapon that can defeat a autistic goose.

Will Nicolas find it in himself to kill the only creature who has ever made him feel truly nothing? (Hint: yes!)

Mohammad Cockle, the Cuck

A Fantasy Novel
by Sup Forums

In a mom's boyfriends house there lived a passionate, industrial cuck named Mohammad Cockle. Not a black wicked, idyllic mom's boyfriends house, filled with food stamps and a derelict smell, nor yet an important, deprived, cuck mom's boyfriends house with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a cuck-mom's boyfriends house, and that means pain.

One day, after a troubling visit from the nig nog Catherine Butterscotch, Mohammad leaves his mom's boyfriends house and sets out in search of three solid AR-15. A quest undertaken in the company of mexicans, british and deserted Sup Forums.

In the search for the nig nog-guarded AR-15, Mohammad Cockle surprises even himself with his wicked sense of humor and skill as a bull prepper.

During his travels, Mohammad rescues a kek, an heirloom belonging to Catherine. But when Catherine refuses to try laughing, their friendship is over.

However, Catherine is wounded at the Battle of GREAT KEK WAR and the two reconcile just before Mohammad engages in some serious laughing.

Mohammad accepts one of the three solid AR-15 and returns home to his mom's boyfriends house a very wealthy cuck.

Brendan Fraser, the Bane
A Fantasy Novel
by drpavel
In a plane there lived a tempting, happy Bane named Brendan Fraser. Not an ugly decrepit, balding plane, filled with crab legs and a powerful smell, nor yet a big, smelly, grey plane with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat: it was a Bane-plane, and that means comfort.

One day, after a troubling visit from the Agemt Bill Wilson, Brendan leaves his plane and sets out in search of three fat anvils. A quest undertaken in the company of Big Guys, Falcons and comforting Penis inspectors.

In the search for the Jamal-guarded anvils, Brendan Fraser surprises even himself with his bigness and skill as a CIA Agent.

During his travels, Brendan rescues a flight plan, an heirloom belonging to Bill. But when Bill refuses to try crashing the plane, their friendship is over.

However, Bill is wounded at the Battle of The Plane and the two reconcile just before Brendan engages in some serious crashing.

Brendan accepts one of the three fat anvils and returns home to his plane a very wealthy Bane.

True bromance.

Brave Jane user
A Short Story
by user
Jack user was thinking about Jane user again. Jane was a brave big sister with sexy thighs and smooth feet.

Jack walked over to the window and reflected on his large surroundings. He had always loved comfy Hometown with its poor, poised paintings. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel happy.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the a brave figure of Jane user.

Jack gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a kind, protective, coke drinker with pale thighs and small feet. His friends saw him as a beautiful, bad brother. Once, he had even revived a dying, doggo.

But not even a kind person who had once revived a dying, doggo, was prepared for what Jane had in store today.

The rain hammered like loving cats, making Jack anxious. Jack grabbed a shiny pillow that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Jack stepped outside and Jane came closer, he could see the broad glint in her eye.

Jane gazed with the affection of 4133 incredible witty wolves. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want sex."

Jack looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the shiny pillow. "Jane, I love you," he replied.

They looked at each other with horny feelings, like two depressed, dull deers rubbing at a very loyal holiday, which had indie rock music playing in the background and two special uncles kissing to the beat.

Jack regarded Jane's sexy thighs and smooth feet. "I feel the same way!" revealed Jack with a delighted grin.

Jane looked excited, her emotions blushing like a purring, panicky panty.

Then Jane came inside for a nice drink of coke.

THE END

The Curse of the Peculiar Subpoena
A Horror Story
by thechamcham

Whilst investigating the death of a local alimoney payer, a JUST actor called Brendan Fraser uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, peculiar subpoena circulating throughout Hollywood. As soon as anyone uses the subpoena, he or she has exactly 20 days left to live.

The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look JUSTed. A marked person feels like a broke has-been to touch.

Brendan gets hold of the subpoena, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a rural dog balancing on an important alimoney payer, an old newspaper headline about an alimony accident, a hooded ex-wife ranting about hair and a drinking well located in a creepy place.

When Brendan notices his eyes have has-been-like properties, he realises that the curse of the peculiar subpoena is true and calls in his dentist, a model called Docta Gino, to help.

Docta examines the subpoena and willingly submits himself to the curse. He finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. He finds the rural dog balancing on an important alimoney payer particularly chilling. He joins the queue for a supernatural death.

Brendan and Docta pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded ex-wife. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?

Bella's Vampire
A Teen Vampire Story
by Literal Cancer

There's a ready new boy in some backwater hole and he has everybody talking. Stunningly doglike and devastatingly vaguely retarded, all the girls want him. However, Edward Vampire has a secret - he's a dumb as a bag of rocks vampire.

Bella Retard is an eager, sparkly girl who enjoys wallowing in angst. She becomes fascinated by Edward who can stop terrible dialogues with his bare hands. She doesn't understand why he's so standoffish.

Her best friend, a zoik unicorns or something called Werewolf, helps Bella begin to piece together the puzzle. Together, they discover the ultimate weapon - the short, damp holy water.

When bodies start turning up all over some backwater hole, Bella begins to fear the worst. The unicorns or something urges her to report Edward to the police and she knows she should, so what's stopping her?

She may resist Edward's bite, but can she resist his charms?

Will she be caught brooding with the vampire?

>the devilishly autistic goose, Ryan Gosling

Just put random for everything, r8 mine.

plot-generator.org.uk/yyfxg5/stingy-alien.html

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No one posted this yet.

Smoke of a African-American
A Paranormal Romance
by Moshe Rosenbaum

Linnea Larsson suspected something was a little off when her whack father tried to smoke her when she was just six years old. Nevertheless, she lived a relatively normal life among other humans.

It wasn't until she bumped into the devilishly dope African-American, Tyrone Darrell, that her life finally began to make sense.

However, Tyrone proved to be fresh and seemed to have an unhealthy obsession with dabbing. Linnea soon learnt that Tyrone had taken an oath never to holla at a human being.

When Linnea's whack father is injured in a gun accident, Linnea realises her own life is at risk.

Despite Tyrone's high time preference and low impulse control, Linnea finds herself falling for the African-American. Only fate will decided whether he kills or protects her.

One night, a white man appears before Linnea and warns her of a darkness within Tyrone. The white man gives Linnea the fly gun - the only weapon that can defeat a dope African-American.

Will Linnea find it in herself to kill the only creature who has ever made her feel truly lit? (Hint: yes!)

Murder in Uzbekistan
A Crime Thriller
by Stephen Seagull

Mangled poonanis have been turning up all over Uzbekistan and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a that infinity i was telling you about, and still nobody has a clue who the predatory killer is.

Agent Steven Seagal is a big and tough spec ops operator with a fondness for poonani. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the deranged killer.

When his friend, Bobby Lupo, is kidnapped, Agent Seagal finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a solid map.

He enlists the help of a brave birthday snatcher called Stillsore Aboutdat50bux.

Can Aboutdat50bux help Seagal overcome his food addiction and find the answers before the evil killer and his deadly that infinity i was telling you about strike again?

this fucking thread

The Stoned Stranger
A Mystery
by t. madman

The seedy, neon town of New York holds a secret.

Elliot Alderson has the perfect life working as a computer programmer in the city and hacking with his manic boyfriend, Mister Robot.

However, when he finds a sleek burner phone in his cellar, he begins to realise that things are not quite as they seem in the Alderson family.

The big hack leaves Elliot with some startling questions about his past, and he sets off to New York to find some answers.

At first the people of New York are confused and paranoid. He is intrigued by the curiously stoned borderline invalid, his sister. However, after she introduces him to hard morphine, Elliot slowly finds himself drawn into a web of hacking and drug abuse.

Can Elliot resist the charms of his sister and uncover the secret of the sleek burner phone before it's too late, or will his demise become yet another New York legend?

Two Sinister Uncles Smiling to the Beat
A Short Story
by Random Writer

Rick Noris had always loved crowded Plymouth with its wide-eyed, weak waters. It was a place where he felt fuzzy.

He was a cute, generous, beer drinker with short eyes and fluffy toenails. His friends saw him as a magnificent, mammoth monster. Once, he had even helped a thankful disabled person cross the road. That's the sort of man he was.

Rick walked over to the window and reflected on his picturesque surroundings. The drizzle rained like smiling snakes.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of May Clifford. May was a greedy elephant with dirty eyes and fat toenails.

Rick gulped. He was not prepared for May.

As Rick stepped outside and May came closer, he could see the expensive glint in her eye.

May gazed with the affection of 9483 stingy perfect pigeons. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want some more Facebook friends."

Rick looked back, even more calm and still fingering the warped rock. "May, get out of my house," he replied.

They looked at each other with concerned feelings, like two eager, easy elephants jogging at a very modest birthday party, which had jazz music playing in the background and two sinister uncles smiling to the beat.

Rick regarded May's dirty eyes and fat toenails. "I feel the same way!" revealed Rick with a delighted grin.

May looked stable, her emotions blushing like a brave, big blade.

Then May came inside for a nice drink of beer.
THE END

Emily Williams
A Lost Bronte Novel
by Schlomo Shekelberg
Emily Williams is an energetic and caring orphan raised by a hungry and predatory girl. Eventually she gets a job working as a college student for the remarkable Lord Jackson of Jackson House. The unlikely couple rapidly succumb to a interracial passion.

On the day of their wedding, a violent bull escapes from the attic of Jackson House and starts a fire. Believing that Lord Jackson is dead, Emily flees from the church and wanders the sunny moors for days until she is rescued by a delightful gangster.

However, although Lord Jackson is blinded by the fire, he still breathes. Without Emily he becomes callous and spiteful. He turns to alcohol for comfort. The ghost of the bull from the attic haunts him.

Meanwhile, thinking Lord Jackson is dead, Emily accepts a marriage proposal from her saviour, the gangster. However, one night she believes she can hear Lord Jackson calling, "Emily, where are you? Emily come home!" and she returns to Jackson House.

On Emily's return, she finds Lord Jackson drunk and without sight. Mistaking her for the ghost of the violent bull, he attacks her with a BBC and Emily Williams dies.

As he attends to the body, Lord Jackson realises what he has done. Driven mad with guilt, he hatches a plan to destroy the next generation, but there is no next generation and he dies of consumption two weeks later.

>One night, a white man appears before Linnea and warns her of a darkness within Tyrone

kek'd

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Galactic Blaster Lightsaber Wars
A Science Fiction Plot
by Gorg Lucis
A long, long time ago in a blaster, blaster galaxy...

After leaving the light planet Tatooine, a group of droids fly toward a distant speck. The speck gradually resolves into a dark, space Senate.

Civil war strikes the galaxy, which is ruled by Sheev Palpatine, a heroic Gungan capable of turn to the dark side and even murder of younglings.

Terrified, a conflicted Sith Lord known as Obi Wan Kenobi flees the Empire, with her protector, Anakin Skywalker.

They head for Coruscant on the planet Naboo. When they finally arrive, a fight breaks out. Skywalker uses his blaster lightsaber to defend Obi Wan.

Skywalker and Sith Lord Obi Wan decide it's time to leave Naboo and steal a pod racer to shoot their way out.

They encounter a tribe of jedi. Skywalker is attacked and the Sith Lord is captured by the jedi and taken back to Coruscant.

Skywalker must fight to save Sith Lord Obi Wan but when he accidentally unearths an evil holocron, the entire future of the blaster, light galaxy is at stake.

Praise for Murder in Uzbekistan
"Agent Seagal is the best detective ever. A passion for poonani and food is something we all can relate to."
- The Daily Tale
"About as scary as a minute ant, but Murder in Uzbekistan does deliver an important message about the dangers of a that infinity i was telling you about."
- Enid Kibbler
"As always, a brave birthday snatcher makes the best sidekick."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

Malicious Kate Blast
A Short Story
by G. R. Ribbed-Razor

Kate Blast looked at the giant blade in her hands and felt lonely.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her wild surroundings. She had always hated chilly Berlin with its gentle, giant gates. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel lonely.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Chris Grey. Chris was a brave lover with handsome fingers and fragile ankles.

Kate gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a malicious, understanding, cocoa drinker with ample fingers and charming ankles. Her friends saw her as a dripping, dry deity. Once, she had even saved a helpless puppy that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a malicious person who had once saved a helpless puppy that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what Chris had in store today.

The wind blew like hopping dogs, making Kate ecstatic.

As Kate stepped outside and Chris came closer, she could see the perfect glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want peace," Chris bellowed, in a spiteful tone. He slammed his fist against Kate's chest, with the force of 7707 humming birds. "I frigging love you, Kate Blast."

Kate looked back, even more ecstatic and still fingering the giant blade. "Chris, I don't have the money," she replied.

They looked at each other with angry feelings, like two mashed, mute maggots rampaging at a very tactless rave, which had flute music playing in the background and two selfish uncles loving to the beat.

Suddenly, Chris lunged forward and tried to punch Kate in the face. Quickly, Kate grabbed the giant blade and brought it down on Chris's skull.

Chris's handsome fingers trembled and his fragile ankles wobbled. He looked ambivalent, his body raw like a tense, tall torch.

Then he let out an agonizing groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Chris Grey was dead.

Kate Blast went back inside and made herself a nice mug of cocoa.
THE END

The Mangled Legs
A Crime Thriller
by Jimmy Russell
Mangled legs have been turning up all over river and the inhabitants are scared. Ten murders in ten weeks, all committed with a airplane, and still nobody has a clue who the fat killer is.

Sergeant Thomas Clerkin is a decaying and Stronk jewish money lender with a fondness for kino. He doesn't know it yet but he is the only one who can stop the mouldy killer.

When his JUST, Brendan Fraser, is kidnapped, Sergeant Clerkin finds himself thrown into the centre of the investigation. His only clue is a kino mask.

He enlists the help of a Thicc kinotography called Bill Bidson.

Can Bidson help Clerkin overcome his memes addiction and find the answers before the trash killer and his deadly airplane strike again?


Praise for The Mangled Legs

"Sergeant Clerkin is the best detective ever. A passion for kino and memes is something we all can relate to."
- The Daily Tale
"About as scary as a minute ant, but The Mangled Legs does deliver an important message about the dangers of a airplane."
- Enid Kibbler
"As always, a Thicc kinotography makes the best sidekick."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

The Good College Student
A Drama Novel
by user
"I'm going to need old-fashioned sausages, big, old-fashioned sausages."

The night of the engagement party changes everything for user McLoser, a 18-year-old college student from Scotland.

One moment, he is discussing sausages with his sweet waifu, Mary Elizabeth Winstead; the next, watching with horror as black dindus masturbate each other.

He knows these dindus came from Hell but he can't prove it - at least not without some old-fashioned sausages.

The hopeful, articulate man knows that his miserable life is over. He acquires some old-fashioned sausages and is reborn as the hero who will save the world from black dindus.

However, user finds himself troubled by his miserable ideals and becomes overwhelmed with moral questions. Will his conscience allow him to do whatever is needed to stop the black dindus?

Praise for The Good College Student

"Never have there been more chilling villains than black dindus that masturbate each other."
- The Daily Tale

"Are we seriously supposed to find a hopeful and articulate college student from Scotland heroic?"
- Enid Kibbler