Does anyone have that one pasta from around 2007-2008 about they guy who is in love with Ellen Page and can't take it...

Does anyone have that one pasta from around 2007-2008 about they guy who is in love with Ellen Page and can't take it when he sees her picture? I literally can't find it anywhere.

act

I have it

For those of you pining (there's a word romanticists love to use - pining) over this generic, hipster, B-list "celebrity", why restrict yourself? Why deny the pleasure you know you've earned?

>Read /fit/ sticky
>Lose required amount of weight/start bulking
>Get job in construction/labouring
>Save money
>Pay off debts
>Move to Oregon
>Get to know the area well
>Search for abandoned buildings (factories, specifically)
>Assign budget
>Purchase reliable getaway van
>Create compartment underneath van that isn't easily visible during a police inspection
>Buy oxygen tank, tranquilizer gun, binoculars, taser, nylon rope, video camera and other items you might find useful
>Observe Ellen's routines and bodyguards
>Kidnap
>??????
>Conceal her in getaway van, drive to Oregon
>Keep her at location
>Invite friends over
>RAEP!
>Lather, rinse, repeat

Eventually your DNA will be so firmly-implanted in her from the multiple assaults, that she'll feel an overwhelming longing and desire to be your friend. Your confederate. Your LOVER.

Are you a meme regurgitating zombie?

Please post it.

Pls respond.

you don't have it

Friendly reminder that she's finally done a nude scene.

Guys, I'm crying right now.

act

what does her pee smell like tho

Carrots

Shoves them up her urethra so much, started to do that.

Don't worry OP, I got it rite here.

>I am in love with Ellen Page and I can't take it when I see her picture.

baby carrots or the big ones?

wat

welcome to t/v/

GUYS IM CRYING RIGHT NOW

She already did a rape scene in Super, how is the nude scene only second?

she didn't show tits on super

i gotchu op

>When I see photos of Ellen Page I want to slit my wrists

Yes, no nudity in Super.

bouncing up and down on my dick willingly

act

He probably means Beyond Two Souls

She showed tits in Into the Forest (2015)