Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything. I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient

Ask a depressed Schizophrenic anything. I may take a while to reply sometimes, be patient.
Free (you)'s for all posters!

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Why Shinobu?
I've seen a lot of your threads now.
(Great choice btw.)

>Why Shinobu?

>Loyal loli vampire
>qt as fuck
>Over 500 years old
She's the best loli around.

Word.
Just asking. Here, have this.

>that pic
Cute as fuck

Yaaay, I managed to stay awake enough.

>I managed to stay awake enough.
For what?

Right?
Nobu a best. Also good luck with your depression. I'll let you know if I find something that works.

For getting on your thread again.
Just a thing of mine, I'm always up to take notes about psychology/psychoanalysis things.

OP, I'm also a depressed schizophrenic!

Add me on discord: Taylor.Alaska

maybe sometime if I get around to it, we can talk about our feelings c:

Have you become Tyler Durden?

Do you play video games?

>Nobu a best.
Indeed.
>Also good luck with your depression
Thanks, anonski.
>I'll let you know if I find something that works.
I don't think there is anything that works. But, best of luck on your search.
>For getting on your thread again.
Oh, I see. Do I know you? I don't recognize your pictures.
>Add me on discord: Taylor.Alaska
I don't use dickscord.
That's Dissociative Identity Disorder.
I do. I've been playing EvEonline recently.

I lurked it once, then another day I posted, as Noire as you can see, just saying that I can't bring feelings/emotions through the night, as if I get a total reset everytime I sleep.
But it wasn't that significant, also I passed out on the bed after a couple of posts.

How often do you play? Ive cut back since having schizophrenic symptoms. Could be a problem for you if youre like me. Ive also cut out caffeine

>I lurked it once, then another day I posted, as Noire as you can see
I think I remember you. The name Noire seems familiar.
>just saying that I can't bring feelings/emotions through the night
That's fine.
>How often do you play?
Somewhere between not at all, and every hour of the day. It all depends on how I feel.
>Ive cut back since having schizophrenic symptoms
I got through cycles of playing games all day, every day and not being able to do anything other than stare at my screen.
>Ive also cut out caffeine
I've cut it out a few times too, but I always pick it back up.

Try going 4 weeks without video games and caffeine and seeing how you feel. Im a really nervous type and have been struggling with derealization and depersonalization and ive been feeling better lately. I really love games but i think they can be bad on your brain, especially pvp games where you have something to lose (like a sandbox game where you lose all your stuff when you die).

Don't worry about it, I don't want to be remembered if I didn't do anything worth to be so~

That's not an actual issue though, I mean, it's sad if I had a really nice day but it's good if I had a really bad one.
I'm just living with it.

Also, last time, I forgot to say that I used to suffer from cluster headache, it hit me pretty hard during my 14's but it faded off with age.
Doctors didn't really say anything in a long-term about it, they just said that clusters won't go away but the headache should, which is what happened.

>Try going 4 weeks without video games and caffeine and seeing how you feel.
I always feel worse when I stop playing vidya for extended periods. When I stop drinking Caffeine I eat constantly.
>but i think they can be bad on your brain
I think the opposite. It's the only way to feel alive anymore.
Everyone deserves to be remembered, regardless of what they've done.
>I'm just living with it.
I know that feeling.
>which is what happened.
I'm glad your headaches subsided. I can't imagine what it would be like to have to deal with that every day.

I wasn't seeing it in that way, it's more like...Hmm..Being remember for what I have done, singularly, for a person. Simply something to make the counterpart feel special over something I do/did/say to them.
>I know that feel
It's always about living with things, no matter what, and most of the times it's the only way to go on.

Oh well, knowing that chronic cluster headache has the highest suicide rates because of it doesn't really reassure me, though even if it's not chronic and it fades off, as far as I know it may leave some psychic issues.
I have no proof I have actually something because of it, only thing I know is that I always have clusters in my head~

Why are you depressed?

>singularly, for a person
Yes, that's what I'm talking about. You don't have to do anything special to be remembered. I remember most people that come in my threads.
>I have no proof I have actually something because of it
You could see a doctor about it, though that probably wouldn't get you anywhere.
>Why are you depressed?
Too many reasons, user. Too many reasons.

I do and im suicidal af.. i would normally be smoking weed but in realizing it doesn't affect me, i have been sitting on my couch all day literally doing nothing

I need the four digits the end of ur disc tag bruh

bump

>You don't have to do anything special
Oh well..It's more of a personal thing.
I'm the one that wants to give others precious things to make them remember me...
>Wouldn't get you anywhere
Most likely. Cluster headache is too unpredictable to extrapolate something out of it. I could start having attacks again at any moment.
The only things I know are that, every 5-6 months I get really anxious out of stress or whatever bugs me at the moment, that I don't remember my dreams anymore when I used to pretty often, now it happens only once every 2-3 months, and that I'm really paranoid.

Huh...I feel bad as if what I'm saying isn't an issue at all..

>Oh well..It's more of a personal thing.
To each their own. I'm content to remember you just for being yourself.
>every 5-6 months I get really anxious out of stress or whatever bugs me at the moment
I get the same way, but it's like every 1-2 months.
>I don't remember my dreams anymore when I used to pretty often
Heh, I'm the same way. I almost never have dreams anymore. But, when I do they're almost always violent, or anxiety filled. Very seldom will I have a nice dream, but when I do they're extremely vibrant and beautiful.
>and that I'm really paranoid
Try not to let the paranoia take you over. I know all too well what happens if you let it, that's a road you don't want to go down.
>Huh...I feel bad as if what I'm saying isn't an issue at all..
If you think it's an issue, it is. You shouldn't feel bad for it.

Tell me one of the reasons please, the main reason if possible, its for my research

If i ask you a question, which of you will answer?

Because there's nothing I can do.
There's only one of me, user.

would you let shinbou swallow you alive if she really wanted to?

>I'm content to remember you just for being yourself
However you want it to be, it'll be~

Last time I felt it was last month, but it strangely faded off almost instantly, the time before I had a couple of panic attacks, followed by feeling cold, sweating and I remember my heartbeat being kind of too slow (Didn't measure it but I guessed it was around 50-80 or something).

The few dreams I remember during these past months were mostly nonsense, or related my mood. Only one different was me walking through a blank space and hearing my footsteps echoing around, couldn't really make any thoughts during that.

I-I think I got close enough to it to not wanting to reach it again..

Oh, well...Thanks, I appreciate it.

I'd let her suck my blood, but I'm not into vore.
>followed by feeling cold, sweating
I get that when I have really bad psychotic breaks. My entire body starts to shiver, starting with my legs and then it works its way up until my entire body is shivering uncontrollably. But my heart starts to beat really fast.

>The few dreams I remember during these past months were mostly nonsense
That's the way most of mine are too. It's usually just a string of nonsense followed by a spur of violence. Like me killing someone I know, or people just dying around me.
>I-I think I got close enough to it to not wanting to reach it again..
Let's hope you don't reach that point again.
>Oh, well...Thanks, I appreciate it.
Sure thing.

What was the worst case of "schizophenia atack" you ever had?

Oh and...Since I don't usually remember this on daily basis but it's something that has been bugging me during most of my life..
I just have this memory, of when I was 4 year old, I was running through the living room mindlessly, but I wasn't, like, in my body, it was as if I was looking at myself on a third perspective; it was just a couple of seconds though, then I see myself getting closer to the couch and jumping on it.
After that, everything goes black, can't hear/see/feel anything, then I see again, actually in my body this time, holding my forehead in pain because I hit the wall during that.

I don't know what to think about this, I just know I have clear images of this memory in my head since then, and that I remember this being brought up in my thoughts during my life every now and then.

Yeah, as far as I know any kind of mental breakdown has most likely the same symptoms, which goes from nausea, to shivering, sweating, faster/slower heartbeat, etc...

One was actually funny tbh, I think it was a lucid dream.
Basically I dreamt about me, throwing rocks at a Pal's house window to call him out, then he comes out saying I broke some sort of thing, so I ran home, played vidyas for like, 2 hours and then got to bed; after that, I wake up and my brother's there with my parents, talking, (Still in the dream) and he says he wants to bring me to a party, I nod and get into his car, then we basically go around town for 30 minutes just to get back home after, and there's a fucking party in my home with both random people and guys I know; Brother brings me in and I ask him why there's a god damn party in our house; Then he stares at me for a couple of seconds before saying "It's because you're dreaming, didn't you notice already?". After that I felt like God and went to bed, because I knew that "sleeping" would've changed the dream context, which is what happened for 3-4 times before I actually woke up.

Hopefully I won't~

How did I even manage to write this much.

Posting from my phone so no pic.
It was a few months ago, I got really paranoid. I was so sure that it was all my fault. That I was the cause for all the problems, and that I deserved everything that was happening. I still kind of believe it.

That's a lot of words. I'll give it a read and reply when I get back to the computer.

Why do you post here all night ?

Becuase I don't have anything else to do

Take your time. If I'm about to pass out and you didn't reply yet, I think I'll drop down my telegram or something.

You've got to be kidding me, where do you live ?

You can add my kik if you want: SchziOP

I live in the middle of nowhere, in one of the worst states, Florida.

Yeah thought you were from the states, here we have entertainment programmes for the psychologically disabled that keep us in touch with reality and sane.

Why are you depressed ?

Guess it's finally time for me to download kik.

Plus if you're in the mood for non-loli, if that can happen, you just let her have some succ

Do you have hallucinations? What do you see in them?, you hear voices in your head? What they say?

>here we have entertainment programmes for the psychologically disabled
We don't have anything like that here, unfortunately. The states are really bad about things like that
>Why are you depressed ? See: and

I downloaded it to connect with anyone who wanted to from these threads. It's not bad.
Or you can just let her have some succ for fun.
>not in the mood for loli
muri.
>Do you have hallucinations?
I do, they aren't so common right now. They'll come back in a few months though.
>What do you see in them?
I see a tall black figure that wears a coat similar to a trench coat, with really long sleeves. He's solid black, almost like he absorbs all light.
I also see disembodied faces, they usually linger in windows.
>you hear voices in your head? What they say?
I have voices, but they don't really talk by themselves. They only really talk if I talk to them then they talk about whatever is on my mind at the time.
But I do have other auditory hallucinations, like music, or hearing animals that aren't there. I often hear people coming in and out of the house that aren't there. Things of that nature.

I guess the states lack something in the department of social development

I'm sorry to hear that there is too many reasons, but one must shine out between the others. That's what I experienced myself.

And a funny thing is, 65% percent of americans see a man in a trench coat hovering menacingly over them, here in Denmark we see fat men or elder ladies in around 54% of cases

are u a femanon and do u have kik

>I just have this memory, of when I was 4 year old
That's pretty interesting. I bet there is some sort of connection with that and what you've been experiencing your whole life.
Have you ever seen a psychologist?

>One was actually funny tbh, I think it was a lucid dream.
Damn, that's really intense.
I've never experienced anything quite like that.

>I guess the states lack something in the department of social development
It's a funding thing. We'd rather spend all our money on war, and bullshit. There's no real social development around any sort of disabilities, and it's about to get worse.
>but one must shine out between the others
There is, but it's not something I really desire to talk about in detail.
>And a funny thing is, 65% percent of americans see a man in a trench coat hovering menacingly over them
He doesn't really hover menacingly, he just stands in the doorway and stares. If I look at him for too long he'll fade away.
>femanon
no
>kik
See:

Bump

Aniracetam, Phenibut, Kratom, and/or Etizolam work pretty well for depression and hallucinations. Works better than antipsychotics for me anyway.

That's why I said 65% of cases. It's always that guy in a trenchcoat though.

I always see and old lady with one eye

It must have been horrible if you don't want to talk about it, but it's understable, most of our traumas hurt really bad.

And the talk about war is a thing of politics, there's expendables for both war and social development, Denmark does it, even though our social advantages have dwindled due to the war with Isis

I try to avoid all medications unless it's life threatening.
I'm not even sure if it's a guy, either. There aren't any physical properties to it. His face is blank, except he has two spots where his eyes should be.
>most of our traumas hurt really bad.
Calling it trauma makes it sound worse than it is.
I'm just a guy with too many problems, who loves a girl with too many problems.

Forgot this
>there's expendables for both war and social development
There are expendables, but The US likes to make more expendables for war. There's more cuts coming in soon for social development. That's just how the states work, I suppose.

What the fuck, that's disturbing

I've been to one but not for that, though going to it, and thinking about it, just makes me kind of stressed...
I don't really know how to explain it, it's not like I'm scared or anything, but I feel...almost tired out of thinking about it.

It was really something, the other dream contexts were about resting on a shore, alone, watching the sunset; then some sort of room with dead people, some familiar faces too; Then and usual day of my life, as if I woke up from the dream; and the last context was me walking through the snow.

I didn't had control over the contexts but I acknowledged that I was dreaming and I actually felt it as a lucid dream, even if I didn't have that much power over it.

>Girl with to many problems
Heh, makes me laugh a little...my bf is is under psyche medications for his chronic depression and anxiety, doctors doubled his doses two weeks ago and he's too far away for me to meet up with him now...

You get used to it though, I've become really desensitized to it.
>but I feel...almost tired out of thinking about it.
I know what you mean. Thinking can be really draining.

>I didn't had control over the contexts but I acknowledged that I was dreaming
I've had a few dreams like that too. I was "aware" I was dreaming, but I couldn't do anything and the dreams would slowly fall apart. It would start out simple like something would fall from the ceiling, then it would get worse and worse really quickly. They usually ended in some sort of catastrophic disaster.
>Heh, makes me laugh a little
Sounds a lot like my situation. Except neither of us are on medication.

>They usually ended in some sort of catastrophic disaster
I used to have dreams like that when I was a child.

>Neither of us are on medication
I'm not. And I'm kind of glad about it, plus I wouldn't want to be under medications for my psyche, just the thought of it almost makes me sick.
Though because of my being paranoid, I worry a lot about him, almost to the point that it's a constant worry going on 24/7.

>I used to have dreams like that when I was a child.
My childhood dreams were always nightmares too. Something was always trying to get me, or something like that.

>I'm not.
That's good to hear. I can't stand the thought of medication for psychological problems, either. Just the idea of it "making you someone else" doesn't sit well with me.
>Though because of my being paranoid, I worry a lot about him, almost to the point that it's a constant worry going on 24/7.
I feel the same way. I worry about her all the time. The worst part is not being able to do anything, and knowing she's there just suffering by herself. I just want to take it all away, but I can't.

I suppose we're, kind of, on the same boat...
I don't think there's much else to say..

When we met for the first time, one night he forgot to take his pill for his anxiety; That's simply when I actually felt like I was literally being with him..And that's when I could feel my words reaching him to his deepest thoughts.

>I suppose we're, kind of, on the same boat...
That we are.

>I could feel my words reaching him to his deepest thoughts.
I know what you mean. The night I met her she was not in a good place either. But I could tell the things I was saying connected with her, much deeper than anyone I've ever met.
I kept telling myself before we even really got to know each other I wasn't allowed to fall in love with her. But it was already too late for that.

Bump

I suppose that you really wanted that to happen even if you were denying it to yourself~

Oh well, it's better for me to leave this corrupted night as it is, and drift off into a weak sleep.
I'll add you on kik before readying myself for the bed.

Until next time, Nobu.

R8 my doggo

Shinobu has a dick

I'm pretty sure I did, but fear, fear does things.
>I'll add you on kik before readying myself for the bed.
Mkay.
>and drift off into a weak sleep.
Sleep well, Noire. Have a good night.
Looks like he might be retired.
nou

So what yu doing

Watching The Walking Dead and posting here.

Bermp

Bump

...

Do you enjoy your own company in your condition?

Sometimes my own company is what drives me insane.
But for the most part, I do enjoy being by myself.

Damn it's dead tonight

Few more bumps and I'm going to call it quits.

Have you looked at the news?

...

nobody cares about that though

No, why?

msn.com/en-us/entertainment/celebrity/ariana-grande-unharmed-following-deadly-concert-explosion-rep-confirms/ar-BBBprLY?li=AAgfYrC&ocid=MSCO000&OCID=ansmsnnews11

That's pretty brutal.

ILY OP what's for breakfast?

ya but its not about whether or not you're into vore. it's about whether or not you would just let her go hungry when you have the means to help

>ILY OP
Why is that?
>what's for breakfast?
Dunno, it's getting about bed time for me. I just had some Chicken Fried Rice though.
Vampires don't eat people, they suck blood. I'd totally let her suck my blood.

I am depressed too that's why ILY.
I lick the blood from the wounds.

>that's why ILY.
Are you sure that's the only reason?

there are more reasons to that.

I know there are.
Can you say a few? :3

How black the void entered our minds and heart, we found each other in the dark.

It's not dark anymore though.
What if ILY more?

I will be happy, but honestly, if you love me more, death will hold no consistency, no more.

I do, and you deserve every bit of happiness, you can have all of my happiness, every ounce of it.

>death will hold no consistency, no more.
What does that mean

death will be meaningless

Death is only meaningless to the dead. But for the living, it leaves a void in those around you, that cannot be filled.

Bump

...