Hey guys!

Hey, it's me, the Lord almighty. Do you have anything you'd like to ask of me?

PS: Of course I'm American. Duh.

When is it okay to begin the Tenth Crusade?

Lord, help me guide these Christian fools away from Zionism. Help me get funding for my campaign and also, when is the anti-christ coming and is it Hillary?

Why do round pizzas, come in square boxes?

Vanquish all muslims from this planet.

suck my dick bitch

gibe me dats senpai

Wait, I thought you already did that with the whole Extraordinary Rendition and deflecting your own irrational fears into wanton aggression! Maybe wait a few decades before you decide to irrationally kill Muslims again.

If you'e so powerful, why do you constantly seek approval?

It's like your Donald J Tr - WAIT! No, it can't be!

You're a fraud and will be smote by god.

What are your thoughts on manlets?

Because I'm still mad at Italians after the whole "the Pope doesn't get to control the whole country thing"

Donald J Trump and I go waaay back! He used to work under me, but we all hated him so he fell out into something else. He's looking a lot less red and a lot more orange than I remember him...

Oh great it's fucking Allah the great deceiver, aka Satan.

I piss on you Satan.

There is only Kek, blasphemer!

So he truly is Satan then?

Can Catholics and Orthodox be saved even though they believe in works based salvation?

Uh did you post a serious comment in here? Did you, uh, actually think I might've been the big man?

Forsooth!

>its a "enlightened redditor thinks he's funny by pretending to be God to mock religion" episode

you lefties sure love your reruns

>heaven
Lol
Nah, your souls disappear after death. I put the sleep thing in there so that you guys wouldn't have such a hard time adjusting to the idea

You fucking suck dude.

A plague of locusts and unsatisfying wanks be upon you!

So, what is the point then, If there is no afterlife and no salvation?

Do all dogs actually go to heaven?

go back to rebbit and rethink your strategy buddy, this isnt your D day

Can you make a rock that even you can't lift?
If you created the universe, who created you?
Why do some babies die of obscure diseases without getting a chance to live?
Why do innocent children die of cancer when they beg and pray to you to cure them?

I could go on...

>Maybe wait a few decades before you decide to irrationally kill Muslims again.

Why are atheists so ignorant about the crusades?

Let me guess:

You also believe that there was such a thing as a "Dark Ages".