How do you take revenge on a theater if the movie was bad?

How do you take revenge on a theater if the movie was bad?

why is the quality of the film the theater's fault? You were the idiot who decided to go against Rotten Tomatoes.

Set off tear gas grenades and shoot into the audience with no survivors

shit on the seat

They are effectively endorsing it by showing it. Also, it helps theater janitors keep their jobs (you're welcome).

I pour my large soda (no ice) into the seat in front of me. That's what those fuckers got for suicide squad

whoa whoa whoa whoa

I take revenge on movie studios by not going to their future flicks; maybe even streaming them online for free

>no ice
Good for you, when you're paying nearly $10 for a soda it's retarded to lose soda volume for ice. I usually demand they give me a second cup of ice for free so it can be cold after I drank some.

>How do you take revenge on a theater if the movie was bad?

I have a can of spraypaint I use on the screen

UK here. Does every country have to sit through around 20/30 minutes of adverts? Why is this allowed? I already paid a tenner!

I piss all over the bathroom

Me? I give a bad Yelp review for the theatre saying they make bad movies.

I'm not a savage, I just don't tip. I reserve my tips til after the showing. i get weird looks from the Box office attendant, ticket boy, and concession cashiers when I don't initially tip, but that's why. If it's a good film, i'll go around and tip a little bit. If not, i'm out. Sorry not sorry.

I don't mind the trailers because I deliberately avoid them on the internet but fucking TV ads? That really annoys me. And they're always fucking car adverts - the WORST adverts on TV. Almost as bad as perfume adverts in terms of visuals and message.

Its allowed because you paid a tenner, theoretically if you stopped going, they might improve their serv.... hahaha who am I kidding, they'd blame piracy and stick more adverts on to make up their shortfalls

I know that really pisses me off.

You know what's worse than a shit movie? When a smug lovey dovey couple sit in front.

Fuck that. I always take revenge by 'accidentally' spilling my drink over them, and kicking the seats in front.

That'll show those fuckers.

t.elliot

I dont wach trailers as a practice and it's great. Go in completely fresh for every film, not expecting any plot points, lines, etc. These trailers before films fuck me up though, as they cant be avoided unless you come in as the film starts and scramble for a seat.

You sound like a lot of fun to be around.

Exacty what I do. I also get a slight boner when a good video game trailer comes on. Hitman's was a notable one but the original Kane and Lynch cinema trailer was amazing

>SUPREME

Over here it is like maybe 10 minutes of ads and previews. Sometimes before the film starts (and the lights dim) they'll show a few other previews, at most 5 minutes.

I once bit a 12 or 13 year old boy really hard on the top of his head because he was being very loud and rude. He was showing off to his friends and I had warned him countless times. I leaned over the top of him and sunk my teeth in and wanted to break through the skull. I had just given up marijuana and come of anti-depressants and was in a strange place. I could have probably been arrested thinking back but at the time I just sat back down and raged in silence. He just sat there quietly for the rest of the film. His friends, too. The man next to me asked me what I "said" to him. Little did the poor fool know that he was close to being bitten himself. I just pulled up my hood and ignored him. I was 31 years old at the time.

Please don't do this

I worked at a movie theater about a year ago, ask me anything

Tear the Please Silence All Cellphones sign off the wall so my girl can put it in her bedroom.

...

In Canada we don't have advertisements (at least, not in the theatres I go to) and then we only have 3-4 previews before the movie starts.

>How do you take revenge on a theater if the movie was bad?
I don't? The theater never said it would be good. Reviewers and a production company did. Sometimes the actors involved.

I don't leave a tip for the theater masseuse after using their services during the film

What movie did you see to warrant such unrepentant rage, user?

That's just your theaters, I've watched movies across Canada and there's always shitty ads (usually sappy coke ads or some car commercial ads with a bunch of attractive young normies going camping and shit) before the trailers start.

Cabin in the Woods.

...

youre a terrible person

>Little did the poor fool know that he was close to being bitten himself. I just pulled up my hood and ignored him.

Holy shit can tgis be pasta tgats gold

we're all terrible people, we wouldn't be here otherwise. stop lying to yourself

I piss in my small (138 oz.) popcorn and throw it from the back row midway through the movie, then sneak out. If it's a black or SJW audience, I make sure to also point out someone and yell "that white male just said all lives matter!" right before I leave so everyone's thrown off the scent.

I fucking hate those new ball pits they installed in cinemas recently. Who the fuck thought it was a good idea to put a fucking ball pit in front of the screen?

Any jokes on them I always chuck my leftover popcorn in there after the movie ends.

c-c-c-combo breaker

I bought a wheelbarrow of popcorn the other day but the concession ramp was out of order so they had to awkwardly hand it over the top of the counter. I went to grab it but it was super heavy so I lost my balance tipping the wheelbarrow sideways in the process. Some Einstein had filled it up with unpopped kernels. Needless to say, I had to serve out my punishment pedalling the projection machine in the detention room. I was put in the new Ben Hurr movie which goes for like 3 hours. Not happy!

That's just cruel and unusual punishment bud. You should sue immediately.

>c-c-c-combo breaker

Dubs always prevail

The highlight of my cinema experience is usually the trailers. I just go in late to skip the shit ads.

I don't because I am not an immature baby. People have to clean that shit up. People should be shot for this childish behaviour.

Do they show you propaganda like this?

Cry me a river wagecuck

>Americans have an obligation to tip cinema workers

U.K. Here that is stupid.

That

Is it easy?

It's not an obligation as much as a respectful social contract. If you can't afford to go out, don't.

I'll assume you don't understand the context behind this poster and what "sectarian" means because if you did you wouldn't see an issue.

>tfw friend insists we get to the fucking theater 40 minutes early every time
>tfw having to go through those awful tv commercials and movie trivia things that they play before the real trailers come on
We could just go to the sports bar across the street instead man

You're actually providing work by giving cinema staff something to do moron.

You're making jobs.

A ball pit?! WHAT THR FUCK

America is amazingly gay.

this

I am a job creator, liberals of course wont get it

this.

WITNESSED: satan is mad

Anyone else /kick seats/ when they get excited during an action scene!??

enlighten us then

you wouldn't get 5 years for saying sectarian stuff in fucking Belfast

>not just clapping like a normal person

dumb frogposter

That is not real. Surely they don't let you buy a wheelbarrows worth of pop corn.

loving this meme

keep it up

No but I went to a movie theater in America a few months ago and they showed some ultra cringy SJW propaganda that was something along the lines of "when the lights go down... we're all just film fans" and showed black people in the audience, as if to remind you not to be racist while you watch movies.

The man himself!!!!

Theater masseuse actually sounds pretty neat for one of those premium 21+ theaters

I miss back when my AMC theater had a small premium restaurant and screen instead of the whole thing being premium and now being impossible to get seats without ordering online a day in advance, it was nice before when they actually made good food and people dressed up decently.

what did you think of that package i left for you under the 3 row middle seat every cheap tuesday 9pm showing of the latest superhero movie?

We don't tip every person we see that is stupid. Americans are fucking retardo I wish you were still our colony. You would have been better off.

In Northern Ireland, which is a part of the UK, there's incredible division and violence between Catholics and Protestants. Extremist groups on both sides are proscribed terrorist organisations.

"Sectarian" in this context means a terrorist.

I have my girlfriend call me in the theatre

Do Americans really do this

I would love to cave your face in.

i came late, they were out of rickshaws

>watching a horror movie
>the guy next to me won't hold my hand even though I'm clearly scared

wtf just stay home and watch a movie if you're not going to hold my hand

I like to get extra large soda pop and giant sized popcorn

Consume half of each
Then pour all the soda into the popcorn container and let it soak till the end of the movie
As everyone is leaving I kick down between the seats

>he thinks it's a meme

Really glad my ancestors moved to Scotland. Ireland is an irrational shit hole. No offence.

Underrated.

Then again Im a Sup Forums newfag so maybe its overdone.

>falling for bait
Every fucking time with britbongs, no wonder you dipshits lost twice.

Is throwing popcorn on the floor supposed to be revenge? You know they vacuum between movies anyway, right?

You are lying

Trump will fuck you guys so hard. Hell so will Hilary. How does it feel knowing Canada is better than you. You were always the disappointment America. Your infrastructure is 80 years behind Europes.

>The man next to me asked me what I "said" to him. Little did the poor fool know that he was close to being bitten himself. I just pulled up my hood and ignored him

>Clapping at a film

>Canada is better than you
Nice try Canada

The worst is when you're expecting kino but get a flick instead.

I cannot describe the depths of disgust this causes me.

I usually wrench the foldable seats up and down till the bearings give way when this happens.

GOODAMN HOLLWOOD JEWS

everywhere I walk I pretty much throw my garbage everywhere, clog up public toilets, bring my own price sticker maker to put incorrect prices on everything, to help the economy.

...

Yeah because they accept people. Is everyone on Sup Forums a facist cunt? Or is it just the Americans?

I live in Belfast you shithead

you wouldn't get five years for saying sectarian shit on a train in fucking belfast

so explain to me how "you'd understand the context" about this train in england

I sometimes sneak in some cheap styrofoam cups and some gorilla glue in with me. As the movie progresses I fill several of the cups with my piss. I then put some glue on the bottom of the cup and stick them onto the floor, seats around me, underneath the seats, etc. I always make sure I'm the last one out, so I can watch the ushers futile attempts to pick up the cup, and it breaking in their hand, soaking them with my urine.
Nothing brings me more joy or makes me laugh as hard as that sight.

Super glue melts Styrofoam you lier!

i know i was furious. i got so angry i scooped the kernels into my mouth, stuck my arms out like wings and started rapid fire spitting at the attendants while zooming like a WWII dogfighter.

this is one of the funnier pastas i've been seeingrecently

Popcorn is small staff. I always bring a container of shrimp so if the movie is bad I just hide them all around the cinema on my way out, and spill the shrimp water over the seats. The smell lingers for wekks afterwards. If the movie has something I disapprove of like if the villain walks slowly into the room while clapping, I just throw my soda up in the air and let it drench all the normies.

>please don't make me do the work I am paid to do
You faggots are worse than public school teachers in trying to avoid work.

>spend $20 to see suicide squad and get popcorn
>its shit
>feel super pissed
>stay until the final credits are done and im the only one left in the theater
>open up my backpack and take out a large plastic bag full of deadly rattlesnakes
>set them loose and watch them slither down the aisles
>hurry and leave
>watch the broom monkeys go in
>hear them screaming and running out of the theater terrified

thats what you get, bitch ass wagies

I was so pissed off at how racist Sausage Party was that I whipped out my BBC and ass fucked the cleaning boy dry. All the white girls there were so impressed they left their bois and came home with me.

Gorilla glue takes over 24 hours to cure you dumb dumb
Cyanoacrylate super glue melts the cups.
You would never use PVA or other types of glue

You can still hear them.

Nah, but I /clutch armrests/ in stunned aspie excitement. When the white text said QUEENS in Civil War I nearly broke the chair.