Best of Futurama quotes

>Fry: Can I have my old job back?
>Farnsworth: Why, I've forgotten why I even fired you...
>Bender: Because he destroyed your business, your home and all your possession.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=KfU69_up02Y
youtube.com/watch?v=iKmLUA2yHFE
youtube.com/watch?v=u3NxRrVcRsQ
youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ
youtube.com/watch?v=r2JNWLQDlhM
youtube.com/watch?v=XMIu58Z5C3c
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

>D'oh!

I only watched the first season or so, but I often use the black jack and hookers reference

>While you were gone the Trotters held a news conference to announce that I was a jive sucka.

Bonus:
Sweet Clyde! Laugh at him derisively!

GOOD NEWS EVERYONE

Professor: You don't even remember your name, Einstein.
Fry: Hey! Einstein is a hard name to remember!

>Leela: Wow! Free bread at a restaurant. Is there anything you can't do?
>Chaz: I can't fail the mayor. Not ever.

>What turns a man neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or was he just born with a heart full of neutrality...

>Nixon: Fall, dammit!

>Zap: Mr. President. What the hell.

>Fry: Also, smell this milk.

AHAH
AHAH
AHAHAHAH

>Nixon's pro war and pro family.

>That's not ironic - it's just mean!
>That's not ironic - it's just coincidental!
>The use of words expressing meaning other than their literal intention -- now THAT is irony!

>What if the secret ingredient of Slurm is... People!
>There's already a soda like that - Soylent Pepsi.
>Really? How is it?
>It varies from person to person.

>FRY!
>*spits out Slurm*
>*Takes another sip*
>FRY!

>Big Z: If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
>Kif: Ugh.

>Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!

>>Big Z: If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.
Can't believe I forgot this.

>Look at me! I'm Dr. Zoidberg, homeowner!
I wish I could say the same.

>That's just awful... did he at least die painlessly?
>Tsk tsk... to shreds you say...
>Well, how's his wife holding up?
>To shreds you say...

youtube.com/watch?v=KfU69_up02Y

>Farnsworth: That sounds very dangerous. Someone sure to be killed.
>Farnsworth: Fry, Leela, Bender...
>Bender: [shaking fist] Damn you, old man!

>And Fry has that brain thing
>I already did!

thats the best line in almost anything ever written

>It's like I always say. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver, the other gold

>sir that wasn't the mother ship
>so what the hell did we blow up?
>the Hubble telescope

>why is this hat filled with yogurt!
>wait I can explain! See it was milk and well, time makes fools of us all

Zapp: Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things.

Based zap

kek

>there's only 1 kind of irony
I like the episode but it's kind of a stupid line, especially from writers who do actually know better

also it's fun to be positive for once, and the reboot didn't happen.

I didn't realize metaphor or synecdoche is irony.

>Zapp: Call me cocky, but if there's an alien out there that I haven't killed, I haven't met him and killed him yet

>WE HAVE COME TO TERRIFY AND HUMILIATE YOU!

>The way to a womans heart is through her parents. Have sex with them and your in.

>You made me feel like a jerk for trusting you. Just like when my friend Richie swore he wasn't taking drugs and then he sold me my mom's VCR. And then later I found out that he was taking drugs !

>Religion ? Is this another scam to get free yamakas ?

>QUICK, LETS ESCAPE THROUGH THIS STEAM PIPE
>NO GOOD! ITS FULL OF STEAM

>You wanna try escaping again?
>Nah, I'm comfy.

Have you ever tried turning off the TV, sitting down with your children, and hitting them?

>Now Pramala, I know it's scary up there in that witness box but, t'ain't no need to fear me...

>BAGAWWK

>I'm sorry, I thought you was corn

personal favorite

>Wow, look at that: Olympus Mons, the tallest volcano in the solar system.
>Where?
>Right in front of you.
>Oh. Oh!

Bender's quips in the episode where Fry loses is about to lose his "human horn" had me in tears

youtube.com/watch?v=iKmLUA2yHFE

>in this case, small

>It's Dolomite, baby!

I hate how most posters here point our the character saying the line before typing it out. If you watched Futurama you'd know and if you didn't watch it, you would have fucked off almost immediately.

Was there some hidden joke as to why that guy was a giant sentient chicken?

If i dont survive, tell my wife hello.

>The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised

>have a super PC girlfriend
>watching futurama with her
>this part happens
>she starts crying from laughing so hard
>constantly scream "what are you, gay?" around the house

youtube.com/watch?v=u3NxRrVcRsQ

>My God, cover yourself! I didn't live a thousand years and travel a quadrillion miles to look at another man's gizmo!
>Kip, raise him to nipple-height.

>Nah just kiddin', you're alright!

>Congo Jack!!
>That's right! And I have a message from Colonel Mutumbe! He says, "this is from Congo Jack!"

>Did he at least die painlessly?
>To shreds you say?
>Well how's his wife holding up?
>To shreds you say?

>Being a robot's great but we don't have emotions and sometimes that makes me very sad."

they can be

>Bender honey we love you.
>Shut up baby I know it.

There's more than one type of irony, but the Robot Devil never actually got it right until that last one.

The first example is when the RD spins the wheel and is himself selected to exchange hands with Fry. Bender is correct that the outcome is not ironic, UNLESS the RD was trying to cheat and intentionally spin to get Bender (who was immediately prior to the RD on the wheel). In that case, his failure to do so resulting in getting picked himself would indeed be ironic.

The second situation is just after Bender deafens Leela with his new horn, but runs out of aerosol when he tries to take revenge on the RD with it. Since the RD clearly just put one dose of aerosol in there, Bender's right in that it's just mean.

But yes - the final situation where the RD tricks Leela into trading "[her] hand" as in "hand in marriage", is a form of irony, just not the most obvious and direct one audiences are used to. Note that despite taking place during an opera, it is NOT dramatic irony - the audience is not privy to the twist ahead of time and so no dramatically ironic statements are made about it.

Not really, except maybe that "Kentucky chicken" and "Kentucky lawyer" are both things

>Aha! Once again the conservative sandwich-heavy portfolio pays off for the hungry investor!

>Oh no, I'm ruined!

"Ah, the Breakfast Club soundtrack. Man, I can't wait until I'm old enough to feel ways about stuff."

Game of tones gives me so many feels

>when fry visits his moms dream

Makes me cry everytime.

>Drunka, lunka, dunkity-armed guards-
>SHUT THE HELL UP!

FLY THE WHITE FLAG OF WAR

It felt really forced and just shoe-horned into a mediocre episode.

Luck of the Fryish was feels kino

>STOP EXPLODING YOU COWARDS

>if I don't make it, tell my wife, "Hello."

I like to think that it's just the famous Kentucky lawyer crossed with Foghorn Leghorn

>But yes - the final situation where the RD tricks Leela into trading "[her] hand" as in "hand in marriage", is a form of irony,
why?

youtube.com/watch?v=ussCHoQttyQ

Reminder that this still exists and is still neutral.

>shes built like a steakhousr but she handles like a bistro

Dont you worry about planet express, let me worry about blank

>what a cheesy effect
>I AM MELVAR I AM NOT AN EFFECT

>If it's a lesson in love, watch out: I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
>Ugghhh... Sexlexia

Can't tell if you have hearts of stone or have just forgotten, but Jurrassic Bark is the only correct answer for a Futurama feels episode.

youtube.com/watch?v=r2JNWLQDlhM

Hive mind

I thought it was sad, but not THAT sad. I've never understood why people had such feels over this episode as opposed to Luck of the Fryish

It's people with dogs vs. people with siblings. Some of us didn't feel as touched or empathetic towards Seymour's death compared to Luck of the Fryish's ending.

If you had a brother you'd know why Luck of the Fryrish is a sadder episode than Jurrassic Bark

>No I mightn't!

"Oops!"
youtube.com/watch?v=XMIu58Z5C3c

See, Luck of the Fryish is feels kino because its organic. You see it through Fry's eyes, and get to know Yancy as this jerk. But then at the end, we see what the reality probably was. Yancy loved Fry, and missed him every day after he went missing. He names his son after his baby brother, and gives him something that Fry's clover.
But in Jurassic Bark, its not organic. The episode reaches a full conclusion with Fry saying that he doesn't need to bring Seymour back to life. Then the writers show us him growing old anyway. Its sad, but still feels clunkily taped onto the end of an otherwise forgettable episode.
Luck of the Fryish for life.

oh, look at the guy with no mommy issues.

>FOUR MORE BEERS!
>FOUR MORE BEERS!
>Chester A. Arthur fall down.

Nibblonian: "It's a genetic abnormality which resulted when you went back in time and performed certain actions which made you your own grandfather."
Fry: "I did do the nasty in the pasty!"
Nibbler: "Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains. You are the last hope of the universe."
Fry: "So, I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct?"
Nibblonian 1: "Yes. Except the Dave Matthews Band doesn't rock."

I don't know why but this always makes me laugh.

>Hey guys guess what?
>No!

>(Not gonna look up the actual quotes) If we stop the zoo keeper at nine then I can meet my parents at ten
>"Nine, Ten, a big fat hen. The names Bender"

And the entirety of Episode 2. "Crank up that radio. We're whalers on the moon"

>My only regret in life is that i have.,.... boneitis!!!

>At any rate, I wouldn't certainly wouldn't harm the child.
>BZZZT

>Fry: "Whats a matter compressor?"
>Professor: "Nothin is the matter fry"

>they said I was craaaazy for building this ark!
>you are! You filled it with same sex animal couples
>there are parts of the bible I like and parts of the bible I don't like

Two of my favourite quotes from the same episode.

>Hello? Imperial Dragon Restaurant? I've got a herd of you-know-whats for sale.
>Let me check
>Oh, aren't you a cutie?
>About 35 pounds

>Can we have Bender burgers again?
> No. The cat shelter's on to me!