I'm back

I'm back

>be me almost 13 years ago
>I'm 13
>working on a beef farm in the rural Midwest
>Hot June afternoon
>finish fencing repair and moving cattle
>owner leaves to shower and take his wife to dinner in town
>other farmhand goes into town to the church bar
>I go to my shack to grab some bottles of beer, then head to the barn to put out feed for the cows and the sick steers
>crack my beers after dropping the feed
>sit by the milk house and watch a calf suckle at the oldest cow (Kelly) teats
>my mind starts to wander
>start thinking of a few days earlier, when I fingered a girl and sucked her tits behind the hardware store
>thinking about how wiry her pubes felt against my palm
>how warm and wet she was as I rubbed along her slit
>how hot and slick her canal was when I finally slipped a finger inside
>I remember how I sucked on her erect nipple, licked around her areola in rapid circles
>I remember being in my bunk later that night, still smelling her juices on my fingers
>I drink my beer, I watch Kelly, and I remember
>13 year old hormones instantly make my dick throb
> as if on cue, Kelly BRAAAAPPS
and deposits a solid 10 lb pile of shit in the corner of her pen
>the noise breaks me from my reverie, as I realize I am watching a bovine with my painful erection while other kids my age are probably at the pool in town
>I bet my qt pinky ring is there
>get up and toss my beer, walk around to wait out erection
>prepare to take herding truck into town
>walking past Kelly, I get an idea

Continue?

i'm gonna regret this but continue

no. shut it down.

Go on...

bump

beast thread go

...

Nah son, nah.

all the good beast dropboxes and volas are dead, you know any good?

OH BOY

Goat farm a few streets down. When I'm really horny I slide through the fence and pump my load in the nearest girl

Do it

No
>qt in town has a pussy
>fucking fantastic to finger her
>Kelly cow has a pussy
>what's stopping me from having a quick tickle of her vag?
> the beer is making my head buzz as I slip into her pen
>my heart beats in my throat as I see her tail flick, revealing her vulva
>I reach out hesitantly to stroke her labia
>BAM!
>as soon as I touch that silky skin, a heifer hoof with 1000 lbs of pissed off mama cow behind it slams into my hip
>scoots me back a solid two feet, I spin and go down
>fug.png
>I scramble to my feet and I am PISSED
>who does this teasing slut think she is?

Welcome back, I remember your thread from last night

...

>who does this teasing slut think she is?

I lel'd

Ah, yeah i remember you from last night. That was a good thread. Full of feels.

>March out of her pen, grab rope and bucket
>figure Mama won't let me touch her juice box while baby is in the pen
>rope the calf and drag it into adjoining pen so Kelly doesn't panic
>grab bucket and get back into pen with Kelly
>round 2 bitch
>perch on bucket behind her, squat and hope her hoof can't reach me
>she is calmer now, but scoots away as I stroke her
>I gently follow her with my bucket, stroking her until she stops moving away
>it seems like she's starting to like it
>starting to get shiny in that crease
>that magical moment I slip my fingers in
>it's soft and wet and velvety
>holy shit
>it's exactly like my qt in town
>just...bigger
>excitement builds as I spread her lips
>moist and pink
>go in for a sniff
>nope, fuck that
>I'm still into the fingering though
>hard as diamonds, imagining that I'm fingering my qt
>then, I get an even BETTER idea

Since Captcha ducked up and thread 404'd, figured I'd give some background and finish my story today. Would any of you happen to have the archive?

Holy fuck please continue

Unfortunately no, i was on my phone the whole time and i cant screen shot with it.

Please continue OP

>13 yr old qt in farming town doesn't let me fuck her
>but Kelly has taken miles of bull cock
>probably won't even feel my tween peen in her vagoo
>so I stand up straight and thrust into her
>yall remember your first slide into a wet puss?
>brain fucking shuts down
>pump for like a minute and a half before I give her ALL of my load
>goddamn man
>I button up and watch my load drip out of her
>panic and flee the scene
>couple days later, feel itchy in my cock
>every time I piss, it's like fire
>mom takes me to dr, two towns away

what happens next!?

super aids

...

goooo ooonnnnn

THE TRIPS DEMAND IT

must obey trips

spotted the sandnigger

>dr swabs my dickhole (fucking terrible)
>does some tests
>"Mrs. user's mom, your boy has a UTI"
>fuuuuuuuuuck
>apparently make UTIs are real uncommon, only happen from fucking
>Mom knows I don't get no puss
>interrogation in Dr. office
>I poker face until she drops it
>dr doesn't give a fuck
>he services a farming community, prolly saw 2 cases of donkey chlamydia a day
>mfw he asks me if I work around animals
>mfw he fucking knows
>I get two weeks of antibiotics
>go back to work, have to piss every 20 min, comes out like napalm
>50 year old farmhand notices
>works out exactly what happened, cuZ he fucks the cows too
>laughs his ass off, coaches me on how to use condoms
>mfw he calls my dick the cattle prod

>cattle prod
Mfw

mfw?

>Cattle prod

> UTI: Urinary Tract Infection

By rural midwest do you mean Nebraska?

>50 year old farmhand notices
>Cuz he fucks the cows too

OH

ah, beautiful story with a beautiful ending.
Moral: fucking animals unites people

I'd prefer to not say, I didn't change the cows names, so I don't want someone to recognize the farm.

Cowbruh is back!

I'm not even close to done with this story. This is the Prologue.

>I'd prefer to not say, I didn't change the cows names, so I don't want someone to recognize the farm.

that means yes otherwise you'd just say no

>mfw he calls my dick the cattle prod

OP, why would you even mention that?

this is the hardest i've laughed in YEARS ty so much op

>farmhand and I team up to fuck the cows
>easier to cooperate to get them in the cattle run and gate them in
>we are tag teaming Kelly about once a week
>feel a little weird that a 50 year old and a 13 year old are seeing each other fuck a cow
>but pussy is pussy, can't overthink that shit
>our standard procedure is to hang a porn magazine or calendar on the cattle run gate to look at while we fuck Kelly
>cuZ we are totally normal hetero dudes who just like women
>and like to think about them while balls deep in Bessie
>like I said, I didn't think too hard about it at the time.

I grew up in Nebraska, had a kid in school who loved his cow named Peanut. Did you talk about your cow outside the farm?

I can tell you with honesty that it wasn't Nebraska. I just didn't want to get caught in this cycle of
>was it Oklahoma?
>Missouri?
>South Dakota?
>Wisconsin?
>Illinois?

>op is about to know what it's like to get that ass cherry popped

"The names of the farm animals have been changed to protect the innocent"

Of course. Steers come and go, cows are life.

Is there more? I'm getting blueballs over here

!!!!!!!!

where's udderanon

Is this a real thing?

>start to fuck Kelly more regularly
>I'm dropping loads in her multiple times a week
>I have it down to a science
>having threesomes with the other heifers
>stubborn dyke cow named Rosie even gets the cattle prod
>but Kelly is my old faithful
>reliable
>starts to evolve as a sexual relationship
>I play music to relax her
>bring her treats that I know she will like
>human girls always say no
>Kelly always says yes
>drive 30 miles to capital to get silicon lube
>use it with Kelly to do anal
>continue dating girls in town
>other boys their age pressure them into sex
>I'm cool though, I ask and respect them when they say no
>don't complain about blue balls
>girls think I'm a great guy
>little do they know, I make out with them and go home to relieve my blue balls with Kelly
>it still hasn't dawned on me that I'm dating a cow

This is a very touching and beautiful story.
Can you continue, OP? It's making my eyes well up.

have you ever been caught "in the moment" with one of the cows?

underrated kek

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>things have gotten to the point where Kelly initiates sex with me
>occasionally, when its been a couple days, she backs her pussy towards me
>plants it on fence in my direction
>how can I say no to my queen?
>condom use is sporadic because I clean Kelly's pussy
>bareback is better, cream pie brings us closer
>sometimes have nightmares that I will get Kelly pregnant
>she will give birth to a half cow, half human
>everyone will know that I duck her, And I'll have to live in my shack forever, raising my bastard bovine child
>but I ask science teacher, she says that can't happen
>sling a nut in Kelly to celebrate.

being a minotaur's dad would be pretty rad

:)

So you lost your virginity to a cow?

why are you drinking beer at 13

murica

I'll get to that user
Constant cow fucking starts to Change my life

>I start going steady with a girl we will call Rachel
>Rachel lets me suck her tits and finger her
>lets me dry hump her and sometimes gives me handjobs
>it's great having orgasms with a qt girl who smells nice
>I start to neglect Kelly
>I spend my free time with Rachel
>but we are running out of places to hook up
>it's a small town, we can't do it in public regularly
>we do it behind the corn stove at her house but she burns her ass on it and doesn't want to hook up there anymore
>her dad won't let me in their house, threatens to shoot me with rock salt
>what to do?
>I'll have her sneak out of her house and come to my shack on the farm
>I tell her about my plan, and I start to make a bottle of apple pie with the white lightning farmhand made and apples from the fall harvest

apple pie moonshine is the best

CuZ I lived a farmhands life in a rural farming community.

Corn whiskey is the best. I just made the apple pie cuZ girls don't like white lightning by itself.

got me there

This is why you wash her with soap and warm water beforehand, it's just common courtesy.

I watched my friend get his dick sucked by one of his calves. They dont stop sucking until they get liquid.

On the night, I pick up Rachel in the dead of night

>we go back to my shack on the farm
>we drink the apple pie and laugh and fuck around the farm
>she's a town girl, she thinks being around the animals is cool
>we go by Kelly's pen to introduce her
>Kelly sees me coming and smells the teenage pheromones
>she lows loudly and presents her pussy to me
>Rachel notices
>"wow, she must really like you"
>fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>please don't figure it out
>puts my mind at ease when she leans in to nibble at my ear and whisper
>"I'd like to do that to you"
>ignore how lame and weird that sentence is, cuZ horny teenager
>immediately start making out on the spot
>sorry Kelly
>go back into my shack, get first taste of pussy, first blowjob, first sex with a human girl
>later, while Rachel sleeps off the apple pie, I walk outside to see Kelly
>she smells the sex on me and won't come near me
>jealous cunt
>I pet and stroke her until she calms down
>I kiss her goodnight and go back to my shack

team up to fuck the cows

>she backs her pussy towards me
Fuck yeah. Cows aren't my thing, I think they're kinda fugly, but if one backed its juicy cunt into me I couldn't say no

Learned that from the farmhand

>>human girls always say no
>>Kelly always says yes

THIS THREAD
>pic related

>put me in the screenshot pls

Well, 'moo' means yes in cow language, didn't you know that?
Also silence means yes.

sadly that's very true, girls around here are unfuckable too, so we must went like 20kms by bike elsewhere

>balls deep in Bessie
Include me in screen cap

Busted

>Kelly and I are having makeup sex
>I'm really beating the walls off her, cuZ I'm still pissed she got jealous
>see through a crack in her stall the glint of a windshield coming down the road
>owner's truck, 80 yards and closing
>idk if you have ever had your blood run cold like that, but I almost shit myself
>I pull off condom, pull up overalls, and kick the bucket into the corner just as the owner pulls into view and parks
>I try my best to poker face and moonwalk out to meet him
>erection is almost kill, hope he doesn't notice bulge
>he left some shit in the milk house, so be retrieves it, comes to shoot the shit
>asks me what's up with Kelly
>?que?
>since he saw me come out of her stall, he wants to know why I was in there
>no feed bags nearby, no brush, no soap
>reach deep down to gather my inner bullshit
>tell owner I was checking out her eyes, she might need the vet
>we walk over, check out her eyes, he agrees
>glaucoma?
>I awkwardly position myself so he doesn't see the remnants of grool on her puss

You are even more desperate for attention than OP was for sex. Fucking retarded.

And you wonder why it's called flyover country

This is gonna end in you being responsible for her being put down isn't it

why do i still come here

>we walk back to his truck
>bye bye
>start to breathe easier
>suddenly, he does a double take at me
>starts to look around the farm before shaking his head
>"what's up boss?"
>"just getting old user"
> gets in his truck, starts to drive off
>rolls down his window and winks at me
>"say hi to Rachel for me"
>Wut?
>I don't go near Kelly till his truck disappears down the road
>what did he mean by that?
>does he know?
>start doing feed
>realize while lifting bags that the bright blue wet condom I had on is hanging out the side of my overalls
>Put two and two together
>owner thought I was fucking Rachel behind Kelly's stall and that I hid her when he pulled up
>I kek
>bust a nut in Kelly to celebrate our close call

You can't fuck a cow to death, friend. Trust me, I tried.

For all the juicy T H I C C pussy

Do you folks want more?

This was a good read OP

More!!

it's not over?

Yes, I'm fully invested in this

Yes please this shit is hilarious

yes

This has been the high point of my day. Please don't stop.

Don't bother, mods will delete thread any second, because they're
C U N T S
U
N
T
S

Wow, you must be butter nutter the science fucker