Things black people never say

Things black people never say.

Hey dad

"I wish I could satisfy my girl like a white guy"

I got to go to work

kek

"My 401(k)!"

hey guys be quiet i got work tomorrow morning

a̶w̶w̶w̶ ̶s̶h̶i̶i̶i̶i̶e̶e̶e̶e̶t̶t̶t̶t̶t̶ ̶i̶ ̶d̶i̶n̶d̶u̶ ̶n̶u̶f̶f̶i̶n̶ ̶m̶i̶s̶t̶u̶h̶

thanks for the warning officer , ill pay more attention next time

My wife and I decided that I make enough money at my job now that we don't need to be on welfare anymore. I'm looking forward to moving my family to a better neighborhood someday.

Can I get directions to the nearest library?

Oh my goodness I hate the idea of welfare!

wanna go to alabama for holidays ?

"no, no, the 22's are much too big for my car. Get me the 17's."

"Yes I'll have the child support to you guys on time!"

happy fathers day

Lets leave a tip

There's never a cop around when you need one

My ancestors are from mostly Europe but I am also part Cherokee

Excuse me sir

I'm proud to have completed high school

This is something you never hear from anyone.

Thanks for the bike you bought me dad

/thread

"Yes. I'm a millionaire who DIDN'T play sports."

Air Jordan's are overpriced

i'm white
>duh

with your emotional support and constant encouragement i was able to grow up to become a well adjusted adult

I got hired today

'I don't think that's racist'

Ben Carson

i value hard work and am proud of the person i have become, even though life was tough i pulled through and am glad i didn't resort to drugs, gangbanging or thievery

I don't like fried chicken or grape flavored koolaid

I'm responsible for that.

I need a job.

Okay but realistically can anybody say that? You're a fucking liar if you don't like fried chicken.

I voted for Obama because of his policies.

Keep your voice down

...

t. Argentinian

I'll help you with that.

Im a stupid nigger and should ship myself back to Africa to help the US population as a whole.

I need an application for a business loan sir

racial profiling is sometimes necessary and police shouldn't have to worry about being seen as racist or worried about losing their job

I did do sumfin'.

Go ahead and check my credit!

Good morning sir, I'd like to purchase this bicycle.

...

Ask

i should castrate myself to secure the existence of white people and a future for white children

Hi, I'd like to pick up an application.

Hey dad, can we go fishing this weekend when you're off work?

Grilled chicken please.

KFC for dinner?! Again?!

Bye dad, I have to go to work.

Extra mayo please

I'm certainly not happy about this situation, but I don't want to cause a scene. Let's discuss this rationally, and certainly we can reach a mutually acceptable resolution.

I have skin cancer

I stuck around to raise my child

Excuse me! You dropped your wallet.

I hope I can be half the dad my father was.

Extra mayo, please

Honey, we're out of soap

i love Sup Forums. the jokes are so fresh and original.

There's no such thing as institutionalized racism in the United States of America.

Welcome back from your day at a full time, respected job, father.

Found the nigger

Can't wait to go back home to my wife and kids

Rap is too repetitive and shallow for my tastes.

I'm home from work, kids

I know a black person doesn't like fried chicken.

Thank you for the receipt my fellow kind sir

my dad actuall always pays the support late........kek

*actually

Let's go swimming.

"Hello, son."

You mean you know a white person wearing blackface

Her father was so happy to see a young black man at the table when she took me home for the holidays.

Please take it easy, i do not wanna fight

You know I would never cheat on you.

"Honey,i'm home!"

Wow that waiter gave great service. Let's leave a good tip.

chris rock
denzel washington
neil degrasse tyson

I get you're trying to be funny, but funny only works when your joke carries merit.

I'm a dog person.

"Swimming is a blast!"

>denzel washington
"At Fordham, he played collegiate basketball as a guard[12] under coach P.J. Carlesimo."

Я гoвopю пo-pyccки

kirill u suck cock

I don't know what that means but I'm pretty sure I've never met a black person who speaks Russian so I bet you're right.

I am part of a worth while race.

i'll start searching for a job today!
i'm going to clean my ass
i should stop steal
i should stop drugs

I graduated with honors and plan on going to college for mechanical engineering.

These are not the droids you are looking for.

I dislike misleading reputations of different people, positive or negative

I don't like chicken, period
not everybody likes what you do
faggot

I don't look like a dog's ass and smell even worse

Hi Dad

'im Vegan'

>sensiblechuckle.gif

"No thank you, I don't want watermelon"