Theater doesn't sell crab legs

>theater doesn't sell crab legs

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That'll be $24.95

>That'll be $24.95
+ your UltraHD 3D Enhanced IMAX ticket = $14.99
+ the UltraHD 3D collectible glasses = $3.00
+ the large unlimited refill drink = $3.95

Total is $45.89.

This is the stupidest thread of all time and you should feel embarrassed for posting it. Imagine if you died right now and the police found your corpse, in front of your computer where the last thing you posted was a thread on Sup Forums about crab legs. Someone would have to write that in a report. A police officer would have to inform your parents that their 28 year old son found enough energy in his final moments to refresh a thread about crab legs on a website browsed by paedophiles and mass shooters. He'd get home and be completely stumped, despite years in the police force, as to how someone could be so fucking weird. What do you do if your parents or friends ask what you have done for the day? Are you honest with them and tell them you made a thread about cinema crab legs on Sup Forums? Or do you tell them something less pathetic, like "I was trying to contract HIV" or "I was shopping for Cambodian child brides"?

It's not even up for debate, this is the worst thread that gets posted on this cesspool of a board.

>theather doesn't have any showers

That's forgetting tip.

Why the fuck didn't you warn me the bucket is hot you fucking nigger!

>loud action scene
>takes out crab legs and start cracking them
>scene abruptly ends with complete silence
>wife and her son stare at me embarrassed

Don't talk like that to Robert!

This is the stupidest post of all time and you should feel embarrassed for posting it. Imagine if you died right now and the police found your corpse, in front of your computer where the last thing you posted was a post on Sup Forums about a post about crab legs. Someone would have to write that in a report. A police officer would have to inform your parents that their 17 year old son found enough energy in his final moments to refresh a thread about crab legs on a website browsed by paedophiles and mass shooters. He'd get home and be completely stumped, despite years in the police force, as to how someone could be so fucking weird. What do you do if your parents or friends ask what you have done for the day? Are you honest with them and tell them you made a post about someone making a cinema crab legs thread on Sup Forums? Or do you tell them something less pathetic, like "I was trying to contract HIV" or "I was shopping for Cambodian child brides"?

It's not even up for debate, this is the worst post hat gets posted on this cesspool of a board.

I want to talk to your manager. Make it snappy, nigger *cracks whip*

Where are my anvils

>sex scene
>start pacing up and down the theater room to cope with the awkwardness

>her son

Kek

>+ the large unlimited refill drink = $3.95

I wish. They're like 6 dollars and not refillable.

>not just scrolling through your phone
are you literally down syndrome?

>said scene
>quickly look around for someone to chat with during the ordeal

>he doesn't respect the cinema rule of turning off the cellular telephone during the movie

>walking around during in the middle of a movie

?

Plus tip

i turn the brightness down and i sit in the last row under the projector, no one notices.

I do this and assure people looking at me weirdly that I'm just stretching my legs

>sex scene
>moan loudly

>tfw the popcorn nigger doesn't wear gloves and so you speak with the manager and get free tickets

>go to theater
>wont sell me alcohol at 11am

What cinema do you go to that doesn't have guards punishing the goers?

BTFO
T
F
O

(that'll be $9.99)

the lovely amc in my town. we also have reclining chairs.

>our NFL team's quarterback got into a big shitshow for "stealing" crab legs from publix
>now he does ads selling crab legs
>mfw every time I see them

>he stabs you on the street after you finish watching the kinomae

>no anvil shop
DROPPED

>reclining chairs
luxury

all that we've got are wooden benches to fit more people

I would legit let Robert fuck my wife and daughter if I even had either.

>he actually wants anvils

got one dropped on your head, didn't you?

>employee gives u crab legs as a gift
>faggot ass racist manager causes a stir about it when you try to leave
>get more bad press
>still drafted first overall

>Going into the bathroom to have a screaming tantrum because the theater is out of rotisserie chickens

I can't be the only one

You live in Tampa I assume?

I would've let him anyway

Bingo

one time when i used to work concession at a movie theatre this guy started asking me if i was alright, he was angry because he thought i was going slow. so i basically just told him the drink he wanted was empty and the ice machine was empty so i had to go to another machine and it took time. and he took that as me talking back to him so he asked to see my manager. so the guy behind him started talking shit to him and they started arguing. then this fucking lady from another line tried to say it was my fault because i fucking explained myself to the guy.

its a horrible job.

But you got tips at least, right?

i usually kick of some steam in the pools

>the theater coalfire generator is off
>theater's Serjeant-at-Arms informs us that we must use the theater's exercise bikes to power the projector

one time i let some people into a sold out movie and they gave me $20. this other time this guy gave me like $10 to let him and his friends in the theatre first to 'look around' for the best seats. there was a huge ass line.

You tip the person at the counter? But they're just handing you shit, there's no actual service.

Do you tip the person who gives you take-out in a restaurant, too?

>the film finishes
>it wasn't kino
>it was a flick!
>feel world spin around you as the rage builds
>steady yourself as the anger washes over you
>deep breathes
>in moment of clarity you know what to do
>as everyone is leaving the theatre, doing the rigid bum-shuffle
>empty xxl bucket of crabs legs everywhere
>make sure that the brine sinks into the upholstery

That'll show them for advertising a piece of shit film as kino.

The best theatre snacks are:

•duh popcorn (sweet and salty masterrace)

•nachos with copius amounts of strong smelling sauce and gerkins

•Crab legs is a new one but fuck id order so much of that shit.

•icey drink of unnatural flavourings

Did I miss any?

>being this pleb

>his theater doesn't have a seafood buffet

Plebmind

Worms, my Falcon loves em'

Does Studio Movie Grill serve crab legs? I'm going there today.

a big soft pretzel with mustard and cheese dip on the side. The only problem is they get eaten quickly so it's best to order two or three

What fucking cinema's do you go to? None of them sell crab legs you retards, fuck sake.

>Show up late for the 3D showing of Suicide Squad
>have to watch the regular version in the theater sauna
>don't bring towel

Do you guys have underwater theater rooms at your local theater? I have a pretty good one but you have to provide your own scuba gear which means its usually pretty empty.

I used to hate that happening.. mostly due to the bikes being in a different room, but atleast we could hear what was going on

Ice cream
Ribeye steaks
Gherkins

>being THIS new

>not tipping every employee you come in contact with

Why are you such a stingy poor fuck? People like you shouldn't be allowed to go to the movies.

Great...Now Im hungry

I do not see any water on that list

That was cringey as fuck, next time don't try to meme you are absolute shit at it

No sadly. We have Nutella pits but it's not the same.

>eating in the theatres

jesus christ you fat fucks at least eat something good before or after the movie

>go to local cinema to watch some Kínó
>As I go to buy my ticket I realize that I had forgotten my eagle at home
>Don't have enough money to pay the exit fee so I have to go watch the movie
>pre-Kínó eagle display show starts up and my turn comes around
>Other Kínó patrons give me a dirty look when they realize I don't have my eagle with me
>Get beaten up in the cinema showers after the film
>Still don't have enough money for the exit fee

6918

What kind of shitty cinemas do you go to?

>tfw theater only sells pagpag

youtube.com/watch?v=0Ekqqx-Ujzs

My local rents towels for pretty cheap, only downside is that you have to do the washing.

How do you keep your falcon from pinching your crabs legs lads?

no (u)

>kinoma doesn't have perches beside each seat for my falcon to sit
>anvil kiosk was closed early
>crab legs were overpriced
>kino attendant was white
>communal showers were closed for maintenance
0/10 wouldn't watch kino at again

...

feed him eggs beforehand to keep him nourished and not hungry

My dad died by getting his tank caught on the cinema oil rig beam. We were trying to go watch Need For Speed. I'm kinda glad he died, the movie was shit desu. They didn't even refund me.

All the eggs?

I stop by the theater bait shop to get him some grub.

Please don't bring your falcon to the theater if he isn't fully trained. It's worse than bringing a small child.

>his theater has no crab legs
Wew lad

yes

I used to do it a lot, but my Kangaroo had a bad surface once and got the bents, my fault really, I was pushing him to rise because the otters might get the cinema chicken casseroles (really good actually).

>he hasn't associated eating with happiness so that when eating at the cinema makes the movie extra good automaticly

pleb

Every single one?

>Go to theater
>forget about the bi--monthly Easter egg hunt
>All they other guys eating their eggs in the shower and laughing at me because I have none

Couldn't show my face there for weeks.

>jesus christ you fat fucks at least eat something good before or after the movie

Are Yuropoors this poor? Can't you afford simple dining food?

Well atleast they didn't send you to the popcorn pit

No but they can afford to not be fucking retarded

>popcorn pit is closed due to an infestation of aardvarks

>tfw they wouldn't let me bring my blind helper falcon.

>No but they can afford to not be fucking retarded

Sorry, for triggering you yuropoor, I know your government is late on diving your hourly Muslim semen

In Texas we have armadillo that stampede through the pits sometimes. We celebrate it though and shoot our revolvers in the air.

Hey has anyones theaters launched the new ball pit theater room?

>decide to go to the movies
>Find out that the designated theater shooter has been on vacation and this will be a gun free viewing
>sit down to watch the Inception after I set my falcon on its perch
>10 minutes into the movie and an explosion blows open the left wall
>the rival movie theater sent out their slaver party
>no designated shooter to protect us until the theater's PMC can deploy and fend off the slavers
>I get thrown in shackles and forced to walk across town with the rest of the audience
>end up working in the mining area of the rival theater
>they only play Star Wars Attack of the Clones in the mining area
>work in the mines for a couple years until my theaters PMC stage an assault to rob the rival theaters recent uranium vein discovery
>finally get back to my home theater
>find out my falcon died in the slaver's assault
>can't get a refund because Inception isn't in theaters anymore
Fuck this. I'm going to start my own home theater on an oil rig in the ocean so I'll be free from theater tyranny.

>theatre kek shed was closed because a mass murder
wooow seriously dude? my wife needs some BBC!

I slipped on a bar of soap in the shower during the hunt and hit my head on the floor once

i woke up with my bottom feeling crammed and it wasn't until that an egg popped out that I understood what had happenend

needless to say I never showered again during the hunts

>tipping every employee you come in contact with

Do you tip the cashier at a fast food restaurant?

Do you tip the cashier at an electronics or clothing store?

>Go to theater in Scandinavia
>Buy my $24.95 polar bear thigh at the concession stand
>"Thåt wille be $12 in tåx my göd sir."

what's the deal with the falcons?

>sex scene
>crawl under my seat and cry

To get around the No-Singles Policy.