I work as an Orderly (I move patients) in a hospital

I work as an Orderly (I move patients) in a hospital.

AMA

What do your legs look like?

ever fucked a hot corpse (attractive not temp, although props if you got a fresh one m8)?

how much do you get paid?

Pretty good, But I also go to the Gym 3 times a week.

>hot
>corpse

Pick one.


Minimum, but we can make incentive and bonuses. There are also differential shifts.

did u have to go to school to be an orderly

Nope. You need either a HS diploma or GED.

You do need to take a CPR course though, but thats only 2 hours and costs maybe $50.

you motherfucker. it took me four months to find an EMT job and the hospital wouldn't fuckin hire me as an orderly after i finished school

They may not hire you if you're overly qualified, believe it or not...

Gunna bump this once, I've got some stories if people want to hear them, if not, I'm going to bed.

do you ever get to do anything outside of your scope of practice

what did you have for breakfast this morning?

I didn't eat breakfast. I usually don't my stomach dislikes it.

What do you mean?

Like, for my job? No. Hospitals are very strict about who get's to do what. You never, EVER want to assume care unless it's in your job description or you can get seriously screwed by the law.

Whats the worst case of negligence you have seen? Also do you have any upward mobility for your position?

what's your favorite category on pornhub?

Worst case? Well, i didn't see this one per-say, but I was working at the time. Some one left a cardiac patient In the hall on a stretcher (they were being admitted to the heart wing) because the room wasn't ready. Didn't tell the nurse, the patient was left in the hallway for over 2 hours and died are a heart attack. We had to change are transportation protocol as a result.

But there's a lot shit I see, mostly because we don't pay our nurses and over work them. So, they learn to hate their job and treat their patients accordingly. The general floors are the worst, there's no sense of urgency from the staff. I'd say our mental health wing actually has the best medical staff.

Lesbian. Went through a MILF phase.

Damn, I had a lot of miss-spellings in there.

I got a hemoroidectomy today, seriously, hurts like hell. Did you laugh while I was under?

Nope, I don't go in the Surgery theatre. I might see you on your way back to your room though.

How's your bed? Is the Nurse cute?

>Also do you have any upward mobility for your position?

Just realized I didn't answer this. Limited, but I can move on to full time positions in imaging, like CAT scan or something. It's a slight pay increase and I'll get benefits. I'm not interested though.

I'm interested op. I work in a hospital as well. Central sterilizing.

Not sure where to start on questions. can you just greentext us the first crazy/weird/feels story that comes to mind?

omg finally an OP delivers. thx man.

Probably the 10th time I was one a morgue call.

Now, Morgue calls don't usually bother me, I can move a dead body without getting the creeps. But this time, when I went into the freezer to drop the patient off, there was an infant bin. And there was a little baby wrapped up in it. Idk...

I mean, Old people I can deal with, and usually i don't give it too much though, outta sight out of mind, ya know? But I couldn't stop thinking about the mother, or the Poor NCU nurse that had to be present for that. I don't know how those nurses do it, dam glad they do, though.

I'm trying user.

That's crazy man. That would creep me out too. Reminds me of an experience I had.

Working in central sterilizing I spend a lot of time in the OR theatre. I usually work in a room across from one of the operating rooms and my job is to reprocess some of the more urgent things needed by the OR. I get to walk into rooms mid-surgery when I get calls from nurses saying they need something picked up and reprocessed.

One night when I was working, the operating room across the hall from me had a class-A (class-As are the most top-tier emergency surgeries). It was a 26 year old woman who was dying on the table. There were frequently nurses running in and out of the room to grab bags of blood and stuff so I got to see into the room a lot. It was pretty ugly. Her whole torso was retracted open from neck to belly button and there was like 4 surgeons working on her at once trying to save her.

She didn't make it and I saw them wheeling the body out. Found out she had a husband and kids, and this was like a week before christmas. Really made me contemplate life and appreciate my own family a little bit more.

What was wrong with her?

>Really made me contemplate life and appreciate my own family a little bit more.

This one of the reasons I'm glad I got the chance to work in the medical field, even if only as a transporter. I'm getting married at the end of the year, and it's made me so much more appreciative of how lucky I've been. Some people have it rough man, like in and out all the time, or worse, they never leave.

Do you know what the surgery was for?

chiming in here. wife is a psych nurse and tells me all the weird shit that goes down, ama

i don't really know to be honest. but whatever it was, it was obviously pretty bad

OP here, My mother was a psych nurse. Whatcha got? What was her craziest patient?

Probably her husband.

KEK

Probably an ugly car accident. Sounds like many fractures, ruptures ect.

Buckle on, pals. It is not about beeing a pussy but staying alive if shit hits the fan.

probably the furious masturbators, or this one patient [army vet] who choked a fellow patient nearly to death and got shot with meds and wouldnt stop coming

How do i get to the hard drugs cabinet?

You. Don't.

Have you every played mario cart with your fellow Orderly nurses?

My mother had a guy who swore up and down he worked for the Secrect Service under George Washington. He would regularly patrol the hallways during free time and act like he was talking on an ear piece. He would then proceed to report back to the main nursing station to give them a debriefing.

He knew he was crazy though, he was always voluntary and regularly checked himself in.

Wouldn't stop coming? or cumming?

All right, it's been fun. Off to bed with me. Might do another tomorrow.

coming at the guy, cumming would be a lot funnier though.