PLEASE help me Sup Forums

PLEASE help me Sup Forums

>be me
>be loser nigger in high school
>not actually a nigger so i have that going for me
>no friends
>no communication except for bare minimum
>feel ok with just floating by socially and having no one know me
>graduation
>sit through a bunch of ppl's names that i don't know get called up
>eventually feel the need to take a shit
>right at this time my name is called up
>awkwardly walk up and grab diploma/shake some dumb noobs hand
>walk off to sit down
>fucking trip and fall
>crash onto the floor and make a loud ass noise
>everyone goes "OOHHHH" and then silence
>roll on my back and am sitting up
>don't get up for a second bc i feel a fart coming, need to recoup
>faggot with mic runs over and says "are you ok" into the mic and then aims the mic at me like we're on a tv show and i'm supposed to offer some funny response
>feel it coming even more
>in my mind i'm fighting an internal battle desperately resisting the urge to let go
>think of what the principal will think of me if i were to fart
>try and try but alas, it's for naught
>the moment comes and It has been released
>fart loud as fuck and close to the teacher/staff/whatever (idk any of the stuff aside from my teachers) face and say
>yeah

Post too long, posting the rest in a sec

>get up walk off in shame for falling and for farting in front of some dude's face
>the people im seated next to are laughing their ass off due to my fall
>they laugh until the end of the graduation
>eventually the graduation ends
>walk back to my parents
>they have a smiling uncomfortable look on their face
>they say 'user it's ok don't worry about it, no one will even remember this'
>play it off 'yeah haha falling was pretty embarrassing'
>they just laugh


>be at home
>want to morbidly see my own fall
>watching and skip to my part
>i see the fall and laugh a bit
>hear the principal say "are you ok?'
>hear myself say yeah
>i also hear my loud ass fart

>fucking mic picked up the fart and it was clear as day
>everyone in the crowd saw me fall, then fart in the principal's face
>explains why the people i sat next to were nonstop laughing
Anyways, the main point of this thread is, I'm trying to find the most efficient way to kms. Any suggestions

Over this? Fuck you. It was funny.
Live long, and prosper.

user to be honest I I where onw of the grads sitting and saw all that I would take I as you planned th whole thing as one big graduation joke hel I is funny as hel try to see it as there are bunch I girls who sat oh there and thought you had enough balls to pull it all off if someone ask you about it you can even brag about how much potato you have been eating or how you have been holding it for the last 8 and a half hours you know rd marketin

post the vid

It was embarrassing as fuck

I don't think I'd pull all that off, plus school is out. I have no platform to tell anyone at my school that it was staged

Hell no nig

you're gonna kys you got nothin to lose

you're niggerd for life sorry bro

>plus school is out. I have no platform to tell anyone at my school that it was staged
Exactly.

Who gives a fuck what a bunch of people who you will never see again think.

I'm 25 and I have seen one person I went to school with since I graduated.

Yeah but I'm a pussy and I might back out

I know ill still see a lot of people I went to high school with, there's a college literally 15 mins away that nearly everyone goes to. Nigs will know me as "The Fall Fart Fag"

Move to another city and start a new life.

>Nigs will know me as "The Fall Fart Fag"

>Look at me, something embarrasing happened
>Now I want to kms

Yeah, sure

Buddy, this is the funniest shit ever, relax, in 10 years you'll have the best story known to mankind to tell people. This is almost made up it's too great. Don't worry, play it off with your friends, tell them you were holding it in even hoping it would happen.

>be 28
>going to a restaurant
>ordering a pizza pie
>i said no ansjovis wtf
>girl says sorry i say is ok
>eat pizza pie while lying
>go outside wait till restaurant closes
>walk up to girl call her a bitch
>yelling I SAID NO ANSJOVIS CUNT
>punch her repeatedly in the left eye
>shit stars bleeding she yells "whyyyy whyyyyy"
>take her head and place it above my cock
>let blood pour on cock
>shove it in her mouth NOW SUCK IT
>manager comes out yells WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>grab my pistol and blast him twice
>then blast girl in skull with my cock inside her mouth
>let blood pour all over my cock
>feels good man
>escape and go home
>masturbate with her blood still on my cock

this op

>get through high school

>give up on life because embarrassed about a fart

Holy shit. You really should kill yourself if you give up this easily. This generation is full of frail little pussies.

Your humor is of a 14 year old, if you're gonna try to be funny on Sup Forums, be funny.

I fart all the time in front of people. Wtf is your problem?

>be me
>work at domino's making pizzas
>job sucks hate my life there
>suddenly get an influx of new teen workers ~18
>fucking yes

>our makeline for food is super tight so when we have to move up and down through it, it's a guarantee that you'll accidentally graze someone
>it happens so often no one really cares bc it's just an accident
>not anymore you fucks

>start loving my job
>every day "accidentally" touch the sweet ass of all of them
>have a system where i'll focus on one ass and balance out the ass touching
>that way they all aren't getting their asses grazed all the time and catching on to what i am doing


fucking love my job

You don't fall + fart in front of everyone at your school and their families while they're recording

Op, My story.
>be 13, family is religious
>in church, palm sunday, (some godfag leaf day or some shit, something about zombie jesuses i think)
>at chinese night before
>feel it building, it's greasyness lubing my asshole for what was about to come.
>I go to run to the bathroom, dad holds me back
>priest was doing some voodoo shit that you weren't supposed to stand for
>your mistake dad
>a blast with the force of 1000 suns filled the silence of the church, followed by a wet rushing blast
>my 13 year old shorts were no match
>The shit flow blasted from my legs, completely liquid
I begin to run, liquid shit flying everywhere, still shitting down my pants
>in bathroom alone now, i can hear screams of women, the priest telling everyone to calm themselves
a pause as the priest walks down to see the damage
>a scream "On the seats! all on the seats I canghertserv..." he removed his microphone so no one heard the rest.
>screams continued, I heard my family being literaly pushed outside the door (door was by bathroom)

My family was waiting for me outside the church, a guy in a suit was at the bathroom door to bring me outside to them. We were never allowed back...

25 kek

>be me
>be normiefag in high school
>bunch of friends
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>graduation
>sitting with fagget normiefags i'm friends with
>can we get to prom already? OHMAHGAWD
>right at this time sime faggot's name is called up
>he awkwardly walks up and grab diploma/shake some dumb noobs hand
>he walks off to sit down
>fucking trip and fall
>crash onto the floor and make a loud ass noise
>we all go "OOHHHH" and then silence
>he rolls on his back and is sitting up
>he just lays there, lol
>faggot with mic runs over and says "are you ok" into the mic and then aims the mic at him like we're on Jerry Springer and he just lays there like some autist
>he just lays on the floor all silent and shit
>he finally lets out a loud as fuck fart in the teacher/staff/whatever's face and say
>yeah
>he gets up and awkwardly walks away in shame
>we are laughing our asses off due to his fall caught on tape
>we laugh until the end of the graduation
>oh shit nigger this is going to stupid videos
>eventually the graduation ends
>it was a good day

Are you a fucking pussy or what?

Back when I was a kid I performed the lead role in a school play and we did it in an actual concert hall. Got to the finale and I let out a wicked loud fart. Everyone laughed and knew it was me but we carried on and got the performance done. I'm pretty sure my Gradnfather still has the whole thing recorded and it's honestly hilarious to look back on.

tl;dr you might be embarrassed now but in time it's something you can look back at and laugh about.

If this is true some fag will eventually drop the video for sure. Better if you do it with some kinda bs tittle like "graduation prank"
>just a prank bro

nigger you better show us that clip!

Be a living legend, they were calling us up at mine and the woman misread my first name as a female version, I walked up to laughs, told her, "I can prove I'm a guy of you'd like." She corrected herself, I took a bow and then proceeded to trip on my robe walking to the vice principal, and fell full 270 flip to my back in the band pit. Apparently I called out "I'm ok!" Then passed out for 2 hours. . .

Fucking hilarious.

Op, you are no doubt a Living Legend to the pranksters, stoners, and Future Sup Forumstards of America at this school.
Own it.
Love it.

Have a wonderful life, op!