Hear knock on door

>Hear knock on door
>Open it
>See this

What do?

Give them a bowl of eggs.

contact the authorities

*unzip penis*

Where's the free pizza you little cunts?

this

That flick was so bad.

let the right one in

Do ass to mouth

>Not letting Lexi Belle in

Wtf?

>not ass to ass
c'mon

someone post it

>Hear knock on door
>Open it
There's a flaw in your logic already

Cheat on my wife while having a wild three way, obviously

grab my gun and say NO WHORES ALLOWED

Last time I let a strange cute girl in during the rain, they ended up selling me a fucking magazine subscription that I didn't even want. I shouldn't have even opened the door, let alone allow her into my house. I won't make that mistake again.

So to answer your question, I pretend I'm not home, just like I do almost every time someone rings the doorbell these days.

How can you go through life being such a beta?

Can you imagine how this shit would turn out if the dude was actually a sadist psychopath with a sex dungeon in his basement?

When they pull off their scam do they research ahead of time who lives in the houses? Or do they just pick houses at random?

Order a pizza

Regret not washing my penis after 10 masturbations, and not starting a regimen of herpes meds

This was like 6 years ago. I admit it was pretty stupid, I could've gotten robbed. I'm not so trusting these days.

>invite them in
>give them towels to dry up
>assure them i will help them any way i can
>go get phone for them
>come back with axe
>proceed to slaughter them
>proceed to rape their corpses
>proceed to chop up and dispose of
>clean up
>call wife and ask how she's doing
>order a pizza
>come on Sup Forums

>letting strangers into your house just because there is bad weather

Am I being trolled hard is this actually a thing in the US?

lmfao

i can just imagine user in his breaking voice making awkward small talk and shelling out 50 bucks for a lifetime subscription to Cosmopolitan

invite them in and let them take a shower etc

Ask for my pizza order. Then bang the one on the left through the pizza.

>not inviting people into your home/wife during bad weather
Must suck living in a third world shit hole

you must be a faggot hick because here in NYC nobody does that shit .. that would be fucking weird.

Yeah, they'd come back to kill me and I'd tell them
"eh, that's fair."

...

Ask for free pizza plus tips

If you watched the movie you see that they were stalking him before they knocked on his door

Let them in, give them towels, call a taxi. Whatever I do, don't let them stay.
That would be the same if it were two guys.

SIMPLE LAH JUST WHIP OUT MY COCK FUCK THEM TILL THEY CANNOT TAKE IT LOR FUCKING CHIBAI WILL BE RAW ONE LOL

>What do?
Centipede, ass to ass.

>open the door

Now why would I do that?

IT WAS

FREE PIZZA
R
E
E

P
I
Z
Z
A

Let the blonde one in.
The ugly slag on the right can freeze for all I care.

"Why are you doing this!?"

how is ana so cute bros

Miracle of this universe

>erect my penis

...fuck

diamonds

...

is that a good movie?

...

You have to eat all the eggs!

Have sex with them.

I love the man shoulders on the brunette. I'm also a homosexual male.

>Implying the us isnt already a third world shit hole

Turn them into my sexslaves

>let in
>give towels
>tell them I go get hair dryer
>come back with my trusty pistol with homemade silencer
>shoot ugly one in gut (gut shots really hurt)
>take them downstairs into my soundproofed basement
>put them in trusty large dog cages I have down there
>proceed to torture them sadistically for the next week or as long as the ugly one lives
>chop up bodies and put them in sand bags
>head in one sand bag
>torso in another
>chopped up arms in another
>legs in two separate sandbags
>dump around the shore 10km apart for every drop
>return to normal life

The thing I like about this movie is that eventually those bitches going to knock on the wrong door and get drugged and end up in someone's sex dungeon.

>not es tuh es
cmon

>Let them in
>Tell them about my quiet life as a salesmen
>Assure them everything will be alright
>Offer them some St Gentlemen's sandwiches
>Brutally murder them and cut their hands off, for reasons
>Dispose of their bodies with my heat seeking bomb stand
>Turn on my radio
>Killer Queen is on
>Continue living a quiet life with my severed hands

Ask discount Lexi Belle and Adriana Chechik if they wanna be in a movie.

fug

...

I only have eggs for one. You have to fight for it.

BOUND THEM IN LEATHER BELTS AND OPEN MALLEUS MALEFICARUM

it might hurt your chances of getting with her if you shoot her blonde friend

...

For people who haven't seen the movie:

WATCH THE SCENE WITH SOUND, HER SEXY ACCENT ++++

>unzipping your penis

You need to go see a doctor immediately.

Did Keanu owe someone a role? How come they couldn't find a truly autistic actor to fit the role.

>invite them in
>give them towels to dry up
>assure them i will help them any way i can
>go get phone for them
>come back with axe
>proceed to slaughter them
>proceed to rape their corpses
>proceed to chop up and dispose of
>clean up
>call wife and ask how she's doing
>get hungry
>trying to order a pizza online requires nonfree Javascript
>mfw the botnet wants me to starve

Underrated

Kek

pls stop i just fapped

Invite them in offer towels and drinks
den fuk

How difficult would it be to overpower two of them?

Depends on the escape routes, it would be easy to get one but if the other escapes youre in trouble