Random survey

Random survey.
Say you were about to sleep with a chick you actually like, and were ready to commit to.

You're removing her clothes and everything is perfect qt3.14, I mean beautiful, until you come across self harm scars that are clearly very old and completely white, but so gnarled that you could tell they were incredibly hardcore--I mean tally after overlapping tally of thick scar tissue finally beginning to sink back into her skin--what do? Would you ignore it? Is it old enough that your maturity can gather she is well past that, seeing as there are no fresh ones? Superficially, is scarring like that a "no" longterm for you? What are your first thoughts, if any?
Bear in mind normally this is a "who the fuck cares it's pussy," but I mean for your dream girl. Not just for some random pussy.

>bitch is prone to crazyness
id get the fuck outta there.

They're seven years old and I've had literally no other issues with her so far, not even an inkling. She's always been pretty chill.
Still a red flag?

>what do? Would you ignore it?
IF she made these scars, I'll ignore but I'll ask questions about it too.

But if someone force her for self-harm. I will find who did and I made scars on him too.

Do you want my honest opinion OP?
Speaking from experience here.

She doesn't like to talk about it but she says they aren't self-inflicted. She doesn't act very PTSD about it and always remains calm but makes it clear she'd rather just ignore it.

Should I press the issue or leave it be?

Yeah I know I'm an adult and should be able to make my own decisions and whatever, but I've never encountered this sort of thing. New for me...

Of course.

I would say to an extent, if she was prone to it at that point. and she is as hardcore as you said she was. How mentally stable could this person be. No amount of being in a "phase" would lead to that sorry to say.

If they were self inflicted then no matter how hard it is you need to get out. No one that ever self harms can ever actually function in a relationship.
However, you say
They're not. How else would she have come by them?

i was in your situation.

i just kissed them.

she is my follower till she dies now

>Should I press the issue or leave it be?
Leave it like that. I have scars too, and I'm proud of them, but if she's not, You'll break her heart by doing this.

The whole thing is very strange. She isn't sensitive on the topic of self harm and she has no other signs of it or anything recent at all. She never acts unstable. She just said they were put there against her will and changes the subject. Never even gets emotional, just seems kind of uncomfortable. I'm at a loss on how to go about it.

>put there against her will
Makes it sound like she was a crazy cutter and now regrets it.

No, I don't think so.
They are on her in places that are hard to reach on your own and you can tell they used to spell out words and phrases I think. So I believe her, at least I have no reason not to. She's never been dishonest with me, just omits.

Then you just gotta figure out if you care about complete honesty or not.

So is the general resounding opinion that people with self harm scars are crazy or you shouldn't date them?

the issue isnt whether its recent or not user. If you have type 1 as a kid, and get insulin therapy just becase you are functioning normally didnt make it go away. user, if she was fucked then she is fucked now. the only thing thats changed is there isnt adequate stress or otherwise to make her cut again. Now, i have my doubts of the "against her will thing" but if they are. A. tell her you want to know about as couples trust or some bullshit. B. find the guy that did it and go to his house with a big knife, skin him, make a funny hat.

I like option B. She has them on her back, for fucksakes. They're too faint for me to read but clear as day, you can see that they were once letters. The vertical ones healed faster than the horizontal ones.

She does deal with adequate stress and deals with it well, that's why this situation confuses me. She's an extremely strong person and very little outside duress ever gets past the surface. She's nothing like people I've ever met who self harm. I don't know man.

shit like this makes me glad that i've cut the bottom of my feet instead of my body.

People seem pretty negative about it. I'd like to think that someone's impulsive behaviors in the past doesn't make them crazy if they show no signs of the impulsive behaviors for years. If I found out my partner had a drug addiction many years ago but they were clean now and have been for a long time, I wouldn't mind much. I'd be wary, but in more of a "I give a shit" way. I didn't realize the stigma was this big I guess? Maybe I'm too old to care.

Ignore it

Hey man, I've been here a long time and I've talked with some crazy fuckers IRL too. Just see how it plays out and don't get her knocked up.

...

nothing to say, nothing more than looking into the eyes with sensual desire and kissing the marks of the past - by creating a path of pleasure. Just ask shit after, dude.

>but I mean for your dream girl. Not just for some random pussy.
You used to shit and piss your pants. You would cry until someone put a nipple in your mouth, and sometimes you'd still keep crying.
You were such a fucking stupid idiot that you couldn't fucking walk, yet alone comprehend simple sentences.
Do I hold that against you?

It depends on the mood I guess, I might ask her about it as I see the scars, or I'll ask her later.
But surely I'll ask.

Chicks wouldn't come close to me if i were the lord and saviour himself, so i might not be the best judge, but i'd say ignore it.

same. they love that, instant submission

Trust me, if that attention seeking cunt has scars from cutting, she'll fucking tell YOU about them.

its a pink flag. everyone does fucked up weird shit when they're young. I would say proceed but proceed with caution and ask questions down the road.

Yes, if I would be in your shoes I would make her my slave.
Long term slave or short term slave does not matter.
But serious love is a no no.
If you get serious, think of your children...

Good point.
She's never talked about them.

The "if" is important here. Anyway, if she doesn't want to talk about it, there's nothing you can do but telling her that you'll wait for her to be ready to talk about it.

Avoid this as she might get preggo and keep the child to even if she turns out to be a wierdo

Ignore, but as soon as shit hits the fan with her, I'm out.

Slave? Take your weird fetish elsewhere, dude. This little woman has been there for me through my own fucked up shit. I don't have anything to overcompensate for, so no, she is not my "slave." Bruh. Fuck outta here with that oldhead shit.

usually if shes an attention whore she wants everyone to know. just let it go if not

Scars are scars bro. If she doesn't act all ptsd or cry when you ask then something strange probably happened that didn't scar her.. Considering you said she had them on her back. Maybe a freak accident? Haha... Anyway she'll tell you when she's ready. If she did it herself doesn't mean she's crazy.

My mom once blamed me for my sister having her son 3 months early even though I was the only one trying to keep stress off of her. I then proceeded to grab a razer blade, go into the bathroom and lock the door, slash my wrist as hard and fast as I could, open the door, stare her right in the eyes, and say "and this is your fault bitch."

Not crazy, just being a petty teenager. Never cut again

this happen to me she was a bigger girl and the scares were massive

i accepted her all the same and they didnt gross me out it was just another part of her

than she left me and now complains how the scars keep scarring men off

If I was 4 years younger I would have said "say nothing, just accept that she is over it and love her tenderly forever, make her feel safe and protected so she never has to relive those moments, be there for her because you love her"

But that's just wishful thinking from a mind that has not experienced it.

My real advice? Run, run for your goddamn life.

Kiss her scars. Accept them as part of her.

Hmm, nah man.
Everything is circumstantial.
I understand why a lot of you are weary because
>wimmin
but this one is a dime and a half and has never, not even once, showed any signs of instability and has taken care of me in many ways. I'm not going to be a pussy. She isn't an attention whore, isn't on any antidepressants or mood stabilizers, has never held a single thing over my head.

I'm going to act like an adult, I've decided.

Seconded.

This guy gets it

i would accept her the way she is. She obviously is over it now

>I understand why a lot of you are weary because >>wimmin

It has nothing to do with that, and everything to do with what lies inside that head.

>this one is a dime and a half and has never, not even once, showed any signs of instability

So far. That's how it always is at first.

>I'm going to act like an adult, I've decided

So be it. I honestly hope you are luckier than most. Either way the only way to learn is through experience, nothing any of us say will change your mind once it's set.
But if things go down south suddenly and out of nowhere, be safe, and remember whatever happens it's not your fault.

There are reasons "never stick your dick in crazy" is a thing.

have any of you even been in real relationships or do you just pick the most desperate girls with low self esteem? because thats what you guys are sounding like

So, what's the worse that can happen?
She's never held anything against me.
We've been intimate for some months now, I've only just now decided to maybe seek some second opinions about it.
I've known her nearly two years with no problem.

We've even had a pregnancy scare and she decided with me it'd be best for her to get an abortion because neither of us are at a point where we can handle a child. No signs of crazy yet. She has never went over my head. She has never held anything over my head.

Thank you, though.

>desperate girls with low self esteem

Those are usually the less psychotic. Yet usually the most cringey and sticky too.
Girls who have had multiple boyfriends in the other hand, have had many for some reason. Be it simply bad luck or because she's batshit insane.
Imo, the safe zone would be someone who has had between 2-3 boyfriends. She's emotionally experienced for a relationship and the chances of being highly psychotic are not that high.
It also depends on how long they managed to stay in those relationships.

She's had two long term relationships, and three boyfriends. She's in her early 20s. No immature babble about exes, either.

how long have you been with her?

Known her two years, have been casually seeing her (with her knowing I had a fuckbuddy that didn't mean anything at the time) within the first few months of us meeting. About 8 months or so into knowing her I knew I genuinely wanted her long term. We got more serious a year into it. So I'd say a year casual, a year serious.

I've had this.

She will depend on you, if you can handle it she will not leave you.

If not, you'll fall with her, and she'll hate you for that.

Choose carefully, OP. That weight isn't light.

its up to you OP, if this girl is really what you want your future to be, don't let a few self harm scars from years ago ruin that but like this user said
be careful my man

I'd do her regardless. And if they're really old and there's no fresh ones I don't really care. I'll be there to support her so there's never any reason to consider doing it again

Thanks.

I'm in my 30s so I should be fine. I feel like at this point in my life real connection is rare and I didn't believe in soul mates or anything before but this one makes me wonder.

I appreciate all responses even if some are retarded.

good luck Sup Forumsro i wish nothing but the best

Dude, we've all been through more or less hard times in our lives. Some people have issues or disorders that include self harm.
If they are old scars, than deal with them accordingly - see them as something of the past. I wouldn't ignore them, but instead ask her about what was going on. Listen to her, hear her out, the whole story. It sounds like she worked through whatever went wrong. They are old scars. We all have them.

You too mang