Best sex ever? Tell stories about the best sex you've ever had Sup Forums I'll start
>be me
>kind of put on a lot of weight after high school
>friends mom still seems to want me for some reason
>wants to hang out just me and her
>start drinking a little and playfully flirting
>suddenly we just end up kissing
>shit gets hot and she shows me her skills from being an ex exotic dancer via lap dance
>takes off her clothes
>holy shit that pale white petite body.jpg
>immediately go down on her using my fingers and working her clit with my tongue
>she cums and now it's my turn
>ohfuckidonthaveacondom
>say I'll go get some
"don't worry about it user, my tubes are cut and burned"
>ohhellyearawdogtime.gif
>she lays on her back but I don't do that missionary shit
>pull her on top
>she takes my dick and lines it up
>hot milf pussy incoming
>super tight, barely fits
Turns out she hasn't had sex in almost 2 years
>feelsgoodman
>10 seconds in
"oh God woman I think I'm gonna cum"
"that's okay, you already made me cum user. Hehe"
>I will not have my record of lasting long tarnished
>push through, she starts getting tired
>put her in doggy and go to town
>finally, I'm ready after her third orgasm
>bust hard inside and she keeps trying to ride
>tell her give me 5 minutes
>go again
Great time. Bitch was a slut when horny
Best sex ever? Tell stories about the best sex you've ever had Sup Forums I'll start
None of this happened. Go fuck yourself.
lmao how many times did you jerk your dick while you were fabricating this?
200 I bet!! Haaaaaaa! Nerd.
Whatever you say faggot. Sorry I'm not beta
Of all the things that never happened, this never happened the most.
Can you prove it happened?
Today on "Almost got quads and things that never happened".
I'm sorry, do you fags not have any sex stories to share?
>be me
>have gf
>did sex
Shit was cash
Also, Op, nobody fucks moms in highschool
Especially not a fat aspie like yourself.
Does it fucking matter? If I REALLY had to I could probably manage to find a picture of us kissing but fuck off
>The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
>Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact
pics or it didnt happen
I was 22 dumb ass. I said after high school. And 220 at 6'1 isn't that fat. I put on like 30lbs
>Last night.
>The woman I wanted since 8th grade is laying in my bed because her boyfriend isn't anymore.
>Hold me user.
>Am I pretty user?
>Why did he treat me like dirt user?
>Hold me
>Why are you such a good friend user?
>Fall asleep together.
>This morning.
>Thanks for letting me whine last night user.
>Ding, a message over facebook.
>Where are you bitch?
>user, does your phone have a camera?
>Yep.
>Take off your clothes, I need a few pictures.
>70 pictures of my dick in her holes, sent one at a time.
>Last photo was us waving goodbye.
>Best morning ever.
> be me, in high school
> be a nerdy guy, playing my vidya
> one day, I'm going back from school, playing on my PSP
> while passing one shitty looking house, some older lady who looked kinda hot waved at me to come over to her
> I go, she asks me what I'm playing
> I say "eh just some Patapon 3"
> she says she loves that game, especially when the little mushroom says the princess is in another castle
> asks if I wanna get some food and drinks
> sure, whynot.jpeg, I was hungry
> she makes me a sammich, tastes great
> suddenly she undresses
> kneels and starts unzipping me
> starts sucking my dick like a champ
> we move it to bedroom, fuck for three hours total
It was OP's mom.
Wow somebody on Sup Forums actually isn't a virgin? Impossible is what I'm getting here
Yes it matters. If you don't prove it you simply slip into a faceless sea of cunts who lie about sexual conquests on this website. If you prove it you add some substance to your story. You distance yourself from the lies that breed here. You become a true hero, a man who shagged an old girl and proved it. A man who shut down the doubters and became a hero. Prove it, or don't and prove you're a lying shady cunt. Your. Choice.
>If I REALLY had to I could probably manage to [Google] a picture of [some people] kissing but [that's too much trouble for my lies]
Also I have sex stories, I'm married. When you have pussy on tap you don't have to brag or fabricate
Why was her boyfriend laying in your bed before she was?
>Put on some weight since highschool
>implying op isn't a lardass
This. Only someone in a long relationship knows what it's like.
You think you're cool because you pulled some girl in a bar once, and had super shitty sex with her ( because fuck you, every time you have sex with someone new it sucks, the first couple of times even ) and you brag to your virgin friends about it ? Imagine having a literal sex slave who knows exactly what you enjoy, motherfucker.
This is the glorious shit summer brings us
Also, if you've had sex more than 5 times you can't possibly say which one was the best. I've been having sex regularly in the last 7 years, that probably makes well over 1000 times, sure I could think of some that were better than others, and some that were pretty shit, but not a "best" one, fuck's sake.