Is there DNA in poop? I've been planning something for a while now that's going to need 100% precision

Is there DNA in poop? I've been planning something for a while now that's going to need 100% precision.

>pic not mine but related

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Yes

nice log

What's the best way to harvest someone else's poop? If I cultivate enough of it together will it be traceable to one person?

Just the DNA of all those niggers you let bust in your ass.

There is tons of DNA in poop. Lots of shed epithelial cells that lined your intestines, as well as DNA from the many species of bacteria living in your digestive tract.

anything that comes out of/off of your body has your dna on it. shart included.

Is that June?

Nice try shit-slinging-slasher ...your crimes against humanity will not go unpunished.

How do you remove the dna?

Flush the toilet.

But I wish to keep the poop. How would I go about keeping it?

I love the sheer commitment to this shitty plan of yours

Do you wish to hear the plan?

what's your plan?

You can find plenty of human shit inside abandoned buildings and in forests where people jog.

God yes!

I never wished more for anything in my life

I am sure Andy Sixx will donate gladly if you ask him nicely. I hear his logs are of the utmost creaminess.

bumping for interest. hope this isn't a shitty thread

Bumping to read this surefire genius strategy

My long time girlfriend broke up with me and most of my friends sided with her. All I really have left is my dog and tiny apartment.

I'm going to put the poop in these plastic easter eggs and hide them all near her apartment starting July 25th which is her birthday. If all goes according to plan she'll move into a different complex. I don't enjoy her company very much anymore.

Dammit, you forgot to wipe again!

Shitty plan, user. She's gonna open the eggs the first couple of times and be revolted, but afterwards she'll immediately throw them away.

Just a suggestion but I would hide candy in the first few eggs to entice her.

if you're gonna do something shitty to her, you might as well go the extra mile. why not plan a day when she won't be home all day, and put shit in her walls? you can spend the day drilling small holes, and inserting shit into them, and patching them back up

...

>Autism speaks

How would I put it in the walls sufficiently? I don't want to touch it.

When I was a kid we mixed up shit and water and filled water balloons with the mixture. We threw them at a crazy lady's house and it smelled horrible for weeks.

...

there is always that one crazy lady

>I'm going to put the poop in these plastic easter eggs and hide them all near her apartment
> If all goes according to plan she'll move into a different complex.

You seem to be missing a step.

She will get creeped out and move. Do you suggest anything user?

use gloves

Smear shit inside the heating or cooling vents, or somewhere else that might be unseen. Make it so there is a unknown revolting smell of shit all the time.

>put poop in plastic bag
>Flatten into poo pancakes
>Freeze into poo puck
>Slide pucks under door, in her car windows etc.
>Poo profit, poo prophet

will you update us OP on the mission?


Also will this be a thing that goes on for weeks or a one time deal, I mean if I woke up and found 30 shit filled eggs in my yard after opening one i would just get a shovel and pick them up and throw the rest away and get back to my day.


You need to go further with this plan like throw them so they break open on her door, something to the point where she cannot avoid the smell nor the image of shit.

Piss and Shit is what you need. To make it a lose base to it splats when it hits the door and wall. Also you can throw from a distance. Those plastic egg shells are cheap use tape on the side to hold it together it will still break on impact but you dont want them break in mid air or from the velocity of you throwing them and getting it on you.


Also maybe a few drops of bleach could kill the dna in shit, but not to much as you will kill the smell. Have you thought into dog shit?

Mail her an Iphone box full of shit.

Yes but you can drink bleach to hide it.

federal crime, the usps takes mailing of hazardous material seriously.

Although UPS DHL and FedEx are not federal so you might be okay with that OP

poopsenders.com/

god speed op

Everyone here is retarded. There is NO DNA in poop. There are trace amounts but it is absolutely not enough to trace someone with. That being said your plan is retarded and if you're worried that it'll be DNA that gets you discovered and not your lack of common sense then there's no helping you.

>boohoo im a little autistic bitchboi that cant handle rejection.

I can see why HER friends sided with her when youre coming up with childish pranks at best to get back at her for not wanting to be with a loser anymore.

Anything you do towards her will be obvious its you, get over it grow a pair and grow up.

not real shit

Your dna isnt in a database, is it? So why do you care.
Also, just get fucking dog pop from your local park, you retard.

So.. Shes gonna find out there are shit eggs nearby, uproot her entire life, get moving trucks, find a new apartment, forfeit her last months rent, and leave over what shell assume was teenagers, which are everywhere.


You know i think this is just crazy enough to work.

Kill the dog and leave it in her dresser

This poster is a candy-ass roody poo.

Would you suck a fat, solid, chunky, corn filled log out of someone named JUNE??

So much miss information. NO there is no DNA in poop. Think about it for a second and stop being a liberal fucker. If you eat FOOD and you shit out FOOD then the DNA is FOOD. You can probably get the DNA of anons in this thread bc they're shitty at giving information.

Fuck off you feminist faggot, he isn't doing it to get back he clearly doesn't want her to live near him. Only a child would plainly state such a thing to the other party, this is how adults settle things

Don't bother with poop. Buy some cheap lunch meat like ham or get some tuna fish. Cram it into small spots around the place. Like in air vents, behind furniture, any out of the way and not easy to clean out from spot. Or even or bury it just below the dirt in potted plants. When the stuff starts to rot, it will start to stink like hell and even drive her crazy trying to figure out where the smell is coming from. It may even start to draw bugs into the place too.

I don't know what for sure but people in this thread seem to have good suggestions. If I follow through with some of them I'll update you all.

I wouldn't have to mail her. I could just put it in her mailbox about 30 minutes before she checks it.

Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

You can tell dog poop from real poop

Maybe

Just get some hair from a brush/comb. Or a used q-tip with a bit of ear wax instead of playing with someone elses shit. Much easier. And far less gross.

Sour cream tucked into the couch cushions yum

Yes, there is DNA from poop, how the fuck do you think they know what shit came from a specific bear or a wolf in the wild just from taking a sample

"Shitty"

Gimme her info and I'll think of something.

Go with this

one of the greatest movies ever created.

I support this

Again, please use your fucking head. A bear and wolf have different diets. The bear, save the panda, is alpha to the wolf. Therefore it follows that the bear shit would have wolf DNA in it.

...

Fucking moron detected.

This is the most passive-aggressive betamale garbage I've ever heard. She was right to leave you.

that is literally the funniest thing i have read all day