Go to the cinema

>go to the cinema
>see a movie
>i enjoyed it
>a girl next to me held my hand during the movie and we left never to speak to each other
>think it's a great movie 8/10
>go home
>get on Sup Forums Sup Forums
>find out i should actually think it's a bad movie
>pretend i never liked the movie in the first place and call anybody that did a fucking idiot
Sometimes being a patrician hurts

Perhaps the experience you had with the girl is clouding your judgement on the film.

>go on Sup Forums Sup Forums
>make the same thread over and over again

this is casandra.jpg or finfag waifuist tier

please stop

>go to cinema alone
>feet and armpits get all sweaty
>can't bare to look the stub collector in the eye
>make my way to my seat
>nothing but row after row after row of happy, attractive couples
>squeeze past a line of cute teenagers
>can hear them whisper to each other, probably about me
>trip over one of their legs
>smack my head on an armrest
>soda and popcorn goes everywhere
>basically full on crying at this stage
>eventually get to my seat
>can feel everyone staring at me
>distinctly hear someone say "how pathetic"
>pit in my stomach plummets
>feel a sharp jolt
>I'm lying in bed
>it was all a bad dream
>roll over and spoon my girlfriend
>she reaches around and gives my raging member a playful squeeze

Anyone else know this feel?

Awkward movie watching experiences general?

>watching a kino with a bunch of friends
>in one scene Fassbender hangs dong
>friend leaves to go to the bathroom
>he tells us not to pause
>comes back a short while later
>he's staring at the ground refusing to make eye contact
>minutes later another dong hang shot
>the camera zooms in on the dong
>friend fidgets awkwardly
>he quickly leaves again for the bathroom
>he screams from inside for us not to pause the film
>can hear him whimpering and slapping himself
>comes back again a short while later
>he has a square of toilet paper stuck to the heel of his boot
>he gets confused and asks us to rewind

What an asshole

>friend wants to watch something
>let him choose because I'm not autistic
>he selects something off my hd
>it's from my flick folder
>fire it up at 4x speed as per the rules
>sit at the computer while he's on the couch
>make sure I pause constantly to grab all the best reaction faces
>after a particularly memeworthy scene fire up a pepe thread on Sup Forums to dissect it while it plays in the background
>panic for a moment thinking I've left my piss bottles out in the open
>turn my head to see I've carefully hidden them under a my little pony pillow case
>return to watching the flick
>get distracted and start fapping to a trap thread
>squeeze too tight to allow any pleasure to ever be derived from actual sexual intercourse
>forty years pass
>begin to sob uncontrollably due to debilitating loneliness
>call up my friend using futuristic vr technology
>can see he's having a huge party
>hasn't aged a day due to expensive beauty treatments
>tells me he has to go
>I catch a glimpse of myself in the holo mirror
>I look so very very tired
>fire up r/tv
>pull my pants down to allow the vacbot to suck a freshly brewed turd from my ass
>spy a bane thread and chuckle heartily to myself

>no penis inspection greentexts
555-COME-ON-NOW Sup Forums

user... penis inspection isn't real

no :(

>implying anything ITT is
You gotta suspend disbelief user, it doesn't bother me that there are no real stories here. Did you believe that Ryan Gosling cut me off saying "huh huh huh" too?

Well the the hell has been taking a look at my penis, and feeling it for bumps and taking pics of it all these years?????

Kek

what? how did you hold hands with a stranger in cinema? is this what americans do on daily basis?

>a girl next to me held my hand during the movie and we left never to speak to each other
What? Someone just decided to hold your hand randomly?

It's called love you bitter cunt

>go watch a movie with a friend
>hear from Sup Forums that its shit
>friend enjoys it
>subconsciously get mad at him for liking it
>afterwords bring up all the points Sup Forums called it shit during our discussion of the movie
>i literally have no opinion

I'm Sup Forums as fuck but I never fully form my opinion of a movie based on this boards opinion. Critics give you a more realistic idea if a movie is good or not.

>go to the movies by myself because I can
>ask ticket bitch for my ticket "one for Suicide Squad!"
>ticket bitch says "for ONE? what's it like going to the movies alone?"
>I say "Yes, for one. what's it like earning 9 dollars an hour?" laugh in ticket bitch's face and walk away
>walk up to stub ripper...say "IS THIS YOUR WHOLE JOB? YOUR PARENTS MUST BE SO PROUD LOL" rip my own stub because I'm not an idiot
>enter eatery, walk up to servant "what will you have?" she asks, "it's okay! I brought my own!" I say while showing her the contests of my backpack with cola and homemade popcorn inside
>turn to those behind me and say "ENJOY PAYING THREE BUCKS FOR COLA, MORONS"
>make my way to the cinema doors...notice lots of couples
>"WHAT IS THIS? MAKE OUT HOUR? THIS IS A MOVIE MORONS, NOT A FUCKING LOVE IN, GTFO"
>laugh at them all as they leave in embarrassment
>cinema all to myself, put my feet up and throw popcorn at my face because that's how I eat it

noice

u me

and I am u

>be me
>get home after a long day riding around on the new york subway staring at cute redheads and black girls
>take off my spidey suit and launch it onto my bedroom floor
>notice how worn the elastic is
>it's covered in rips and brown stains and still reeks of the time I spilled one of my piss jars on it
>pick up the costume and inhale deeply
>remember all the great times I've had wearing the suit
>put it back on, one last time
>one final webbing
>launch out of my room
>swing up the corridor
>burst into my aunt's room to ask her to call me cab to take me to the halloween store so she can buy me another cheap knockoff chinese deadpool costume
>my aunt is on the bed, four fingers plunging furiously in and out of her quivering vagina
>she's shocked but too close to cumming to stop
>about to back out but the supersuit infuses me with the spirit of spider-man
>fly onto the bed and whip out my phimosis encrusted dick
>stab wildly at my aunt's engorged labia, ejaculating my dark grey webbing all over her hand
>collapse on top of her, whimpering "you'll get your rent when you f-fix the damn door"
>take the spidey suit off my face
>I'm actually lying in a gutter
>covered in shit and garbage
>my aunt kicked me out six months ago due to my NEET lifestyle
>pop the mask on my crusty deadpool costume
>point my hand to the stars
>bring my middle fingers in like Tobey and whisper "Go web"
>tense my bowels as hard as I can and shit diarrhoea down my legs for warmth as I roll over for the night
>realise that with great power indeed comes great responsibility
>it's going to be a long winter

a random person sitting next to you at the cinema you've never met before?

SHUT UP REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fuck yeah dawg

Derek? Is that you?

>in the cinema
>by myself
>end up next to a cute girl out with friends
>try not to look at her but i must
>smokin.jpg
>she turns around
>i freeze
>she says "hey there"
>shes not mad
>i just stand up
>leave all food and drinks
>i go to the bathroom
>i see her staring as i leave
>walk back in 20 mins later
>sit down in the same spot
>stare at the screen and dont move during movie
>run out just as the credits start
>this is why im alone

You handled that extremely well, good job

I have other stories of the same sort if anons are interested

>dat twist at the end
Shit, this is greentext kino

Fu k you

Aww did someone call your favourite capeshit garbage? It's okay user, you'll make it through this.

She's now posting a sad green text story on the twilight message board about how she got brutally rejected for just saying hi. She cried that night after the kino visit

>Go to the movies all the time
>Attempt to hold hands with girls
>Get called a creep
>Last week they refused to sell me a ticket because they keep getting complaints about me
>Come home and post the movie is shit even tho I never got to see it
>It's the same post op read and agreed with

Yes but the opposite

Yes pls

>dream about being happy and fulfilled
>wake up in sofa
>you fell asleep watching Casablanca again because you find black & white movies inherently boring

well another favourite of mine happened on holiday
>at the hotel
>waiting for the elevator
>press button for up
>as im waiting 3 girls also come to the lifts
>shit.png
>elevator doors open
>they get in
>they ask "going up?"
>respond with a very voice broken "no"
>pretend to walk away
>watch the floor counter as they get off same floor as i would
>wait for the next elevator
>most of the lobby is staring at me
>get in elevator
>doors close
>immediately regret every decision ive ever made