Rot in hell people who do this

Rot in hell people who do this.

t. Theater Cleaner

Other urls found in this thread:

snopes.com/horrors/madmen/pinprick.asp
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

t. cuck

Oopsie...

hehehe

I don't try to make anyone's job harder, and I hate stepping on the stuff, so I throw mine away.

Don't let op fool you, theater cleaning is a sweet gig. It's relatively easy work and you can find a shit ton of money people have dropped.

Anyone have the response pasta?

This.
I'm basically giving them work.

ticket price includes cleaning so fuck it

To me i don't dump my popcorn/soda all over the floor and stick chewing gum on the floor and seats because I'm a bad guy. I do it to help the workers at the theater build more character. Without me testing them they are liable to get lazy without having constant challenges at their work. If there is some unintended punishment for their poor academics/career decisions (because let's be honest, they probably weren't the top of their class if they're working there) then so be it. But that is not my intent.

What's in your theater mischief kit Sup Forums?

Thinking about bringing some rodents in next time. You can buy 3/4 rats or mice for under £20 at my local pet shop.

desu I'll take my rubbish with me most of the time but if there's shit on the floor i'm not pickin it up sorry dogg

Those are tame though, they wont do shit.

Apart from nibble into the furnishings to make a nest and shit everywhere attracting more pests?
Maybe I'd buy males and females so they breed like fuck too.

It's not something i would ever do but i don't really have a problem with it either. You're paid a salary so the customers are paying for your time either way, your complaining about having to do the work that you're paid to do irks me more

I do feel a little bit bad sometimes. They have to pick up all the crab leg shells I leave behind. But then I remember that they're getting paid for it.

CLEAN IT

CLEAN MY SHIT

CLEAN IT UP THEATERCVCK

CLEAN IT DEEP AND GOOD

GET ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES

CLEAN IT

>hurrr don't make a mess, think of the poor cleaners
Fuck em, it's their job, they get paid and they chose to do it. If I wanna stamp my popcorn into the floor and shit on the seat when I leave then that's their problem.

I don't leave it like shit because I'm not a disgusting subhuman that takes pride in behaving like a filthy animal or a monkey that likes to throw things for fun but I don't see why you should complain if you don't want to clean other people's shit then quit and get a real job. Simple as that.

Condoms and a vanilla milkshake. Also the paper from the straw makes great spitwads to shoot onto the screen and high up on the walls so they can't clean them easily.

>bag of unpopped popcorn (smells awful after a couple of weeks, other moviegoers won't touch their overpriced popcorn after smelling that shit)
>plastic cup of coconut milk
>one dirty nappie whenever I can steal one from my sister's apt
>heavily pungent women's perfume
>pocket knife and sewing kit - to open/close the seat cushions
>discarded shellfish remains

+ a couple of eggs for good measure

> have hiv
> fill up syringe with bug blood
> stick syringe into back of seat
> when next moviegoer sits on seat their weight causes syringe to expel bug blood into them
I paid for the overpriced experience so they deserve it.

Where's all the crab legs?

What the fuck.

>attract more pests
Literally how.

Look, it's simple. Don't want to get pozzed? Don't go watching badly reviewed movies. Fair and square.

>it's a "minimum wage slave" thinks his feelings matter thread

haha these are the best. now shut the fuck up and butter my popcorn you fucking cockroach.

this scares me because i remember years ago someone put their aids needle on the handle of a gas station pump and gave someone aids

absolute madman

snopes.com/horrors/madmen/pinprick.asp

I went to The Secret Life of Pets with my gf and her daughter. I left the theater during the credits to use the potty and passed the cleaner on the way out. He left the auditorium before the gf and her daughter did

>tfw you realize actual theatercucks see these threads and probably get mad as fuck

>a website told me it's not true

In an Aussie prison a guard got stabbed with a HIV+ blood filled syringe and died of AIDS 8 years later.

>stamp my popcorn into the floor and shit on the seat
You take shits on theater seats?

The last movie theatre I went to had love seats instead of the normal seats. It is known as a “date theatre” kind of place.

Anyway, there was semen all over and the next day I woke up with a rash on the back of my arms and thighs.

I'm sorry, if you don't want the job you can always be n33t.

I seriously don't understand how that shit happens. Eat your stuff then carry it to the conveniently placed bin when the movies over.

Why? The floor is easier and they get paid to clean it.

You have to have the mind of a child to honestly believe this.

>2016
>Not bringing vegetables to shove up your pussy and then leave on the seats for the theatercuck to clean up

Because I wasn't raised in a barn.

Doing that leaves more people unemployed

> her daughter

Cucked

Ahem guys I think this is a recurrent bait thread.

You must have been raised in some evil third world shithole full of devilry and sodomy then because you are actively supporting people losing their jobs. I'll pray for you.

If it's a bait thread then why do I still see this shit in real life all the time, at big boy movies?

>go to my local kinoplex
>$20 for a ticket
>$30 for a small popcorn
>$10 for a small soda
>and after all this they expect me to clean my mess
>mfw

PSSST wagie


Wagie!


PSST over here

I just realised that the reason why I never do this shit is because I'm not fucking retarded enough to buy food in the cinema in the first place.

You probably live in the US where people love to treat workers as slaves. But really, all the time ?

I've never seen it but I'm not american so maybe that's why.

This
>implying I'm going to take my rubbish with me after I get charged £6 for a bag of fucking maltesers

I'm a Brit and they do this all the time where I live. Savages are all over m8.

What the fuck is that?

I don't get it. Popcorn is so expensive here spilling it is like throwing 10$ bills away.

For me, it's not so much about causing hassle for the cleaners, but maximising unpleasantness for my fellow cinema goers.

I ALWAYS bring a tuna and onion salad to eat during my film, nice and smelly, often made with crunchy leaves and croutons to make a nice crunch with each bite. When I can pick my seats, I always make sure I'm sat behind other people so I can kick their chair and shake my legs against the back of the chair. I make sure everything I drink is carbonated and in a can, so both the sound of me opening my beer is disruptive as well as the crinkling noise of the metal as I fiddle with the cans, I also make sure every gulp is audible and swish it around my mouth.

If I'm feeling particularly confident and devilish, I'll "accidentally" sit in someone else's seat, and try to ignore them as long as possible before apologising and moving. I tend to do this to punish normie couples or groups or friends, or parents and their children.

Used nappies are always good. Keep it in a sealed nappy bag and unleash it when you're leaving.

I like to make traps for the wagies so when they go to pick up my drink cup the get sprayed with my piss thanks to modified mouse traps.

Does your cinema allow you to pick seats?

I always pick the aisle seat in a row that is full up and then I'll arrive early and set up camp right on the end.

Stretch my legs out. Take my shoes off. Put my bag of seafood appetizers in between my legs then just ignore people until they have to raise their voice loud enough for everyone else in the room to turn around and look.

>he doesn't bring one these bad boys filled with vegetable oil to the kinoplex

I like to pretend that I'm terminal and take a pole on wheels into the theater with machines attached that makes lots of beeps and constant sucking and blowing noises.
No one can say anything because they all think I'm dying.

The seafood appetisers are a nice touch user, I like your style

Yes in the cinemas I go to (am British) you usually pick your own seats. They do at vue cinemas anyway.

Another tactic I've found myself doing is when the wagie selling me my tickets shows me the available seats for a busy showing which is mostly sold out, I always go for a seat between two other empty seats, never on the ends of the aisle, to stop couples and groups of people being able to sit together

>mfw worked at theater but did concessions

The only downside was people throwing tantrums about the cost of everything. Sorry faggot, I don't make the prices.

If they didn't do that you'd be out of a job you schmuck. Also this >tfw there's a theater in my city which plays recent releases but also classic films sometimes projecting them on 35mm and the large bucket of popcorn is just 3,50€
based, I always pick up my shit at this theater.

Be creative lads, melt some lard and keep it in a cheap thermal flask so it stays liquid. Then when you're ready, pour it over the floor. In around 10 minutes it'll harden back to lard and be a nightmare to clean up.

The popcorn isn't hard to sweep up, it was kinda satisfying sometimes. It's when lardasses put shit tons of butter on it is when it was annoying.

>Didn't think most of these posts from these threads were people memeing
>Decide to try some of the stuff like peeing in a bottle and rolling it under the seats for the memes
>Get caught
>Now have a court appearance for public lewdness on 4th October

Haha funny joke guys. My life is ruined.

was getting caught part of your plan?

>pissing in a bottle
You should have a piss pipe that shoots out out the bottom of your trouser leg.
Seasoned veterans like myself don't makes mistakes like that user.

I've actually gotten in two fist fights at the cinema before.
One was when some dick was literally shouting at me to put my phone away before the trailers had even begun.
The other was some little shithead was in my seat in an IMAX auditorium in which you prebook your seats.
That being said, any dick who makes an intentional mess deserves to have his shit kicked in. Just leaving your empty wrappers and shit under the seat is no big deal, and when it comes to spilling stuff accidents happen, but there's no need for people to be disgusting.

Well first I make my mischief sauce that I use for a variety of things. It's just vegetable oil, molasses, glitter, antifreeze, black dye, and fish sauce combined in a big pot in my back yard. Use extra molasses if you prefer a thicker consistency.

I have a custom modified larger version of this user's camelbak. I have one tube running all the way down the side of my leg to the bottom of my shoe. I put a valve half way up the line where I can reach it with my hand to control the flow. I also have another line running down my arm to reach higher targets. I'm thinking about installing a one of those rubber squeeze balls from a blood pressure cuff so that I can pressurize the camelbak for a projected stream.

finally, once I'm at the theater I aim anywhere I wish to apply my mischief sauce.

Don't forget to blend in some shellfish to make it extra stinky user

you don't have one of these?

But then I'd have to actually work for my money.

I'm not doing anything you guys tell me to do anymore. I'm going to be grounded forever when this is in the papers. I'm 28 years old I don't need this grief in my life.

Shut up nerd I'll kick your ass and throw my popcorn in your face then go get a free refill in your hollowed out skull.

The cinemark I was working at didn't have one, we had the cheapest, shittiest brooms. They were like 2 feet long and it was all frayed and shit

you should have bought one for yourself. you could have gotten a raise for caring about your job or you'd just end up having a vacuum cleaner, which is nice.

Nah mayne, fuck cinemark.

I'll also make mischief sauce with soda in it to use with mentos. Take a mini soda bottle, fill it with mischief sauce, put mento in a water balloon and put it over the bottle spout. push the mento in when ready to throw. these work great for rolling down stairs or throwing over bathroom stalls.

That must be really stale popcorn if throwing it in his face will hollow his skull out.

You can buy ladybugs by the thousands online for like $30. I released 10000 in an iMax theater and they closed it down for a week to call in an exterminator.

I'm so strong that even fresh popcorn would smash a skull if I threw it. I've watched several animes so my power levels are off the charts.

that just shifts the work load over to the exterminator instead of the theater wagecuck. I like your creativity though.

...

If they didn't do that you would be out of a job.
Stop whining and go get your vacuum cleaner shithead.

Black people

I'd do that but I don't want 6 million innocent Ladybug ghosts haunting me.

If i enjoyed a movie i will throw my popcorn around joyously

if i did not i open up a can of fermented herring and pour it over the seats and tread the herrings into the carpet

needless to say the cinema i saw ghostbusters at had a screen closed for a weak

FOUR EWE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111111111111111111111111111111

I normally clog up the plug hole in the cinema showers with my leftover crabs legs just for fun.

Cinema sweepers and trash dumpers are the ultimate chicken/egg conundrum. Also a perfect example of the broken window fallacy.

*turns full large popcorn upside down*
Oh whoops, clumsy me. Guess I better go get another free refill.
*smirks*

>one of the gimp seats is open (basically padded toilet seats where the regular cinema seat should be, you're supposed to put a bucket the cinema gives you under it so literal retards can piss and shit while watching films, one is on each side all the way back in the nosebleed seats so they don't bother people)
>load up on snacks with my EBT card; popcorn, nachos, hotdogs, burgers, sodas, mini pizzas, Milk Duds, the works
>claim my comfy gimp seat
>"in with the new, out with the old" non-stop for the entire duration of the film, have half a mind to think I'm pissing and shitting beverages and food I ate earlier in the film
>film's over, get up to leave
>I forgot to get a bucket
>big mucousy turds running down an aisle turned into a slip-'n'-slide of piss and spilled soda (and a tiny little bit of blood, I don't get enough fiber)
>big box of plain nachos I didn't eat (because the meat and cheese was on the nachos on the top) falls out of my lap and spills all over the place
>try to catch it and accidentally knock the rest of my soda over
I'd hate to be the one who had to clean that up, they probably closed that theater for the rest of the day and lost thousands of dollars on canceled screenings.

Joke's on you, I ate every single one of those stinky logs and used the chips to dip into the mucus and blood that was left behind.

What are the big square boxes that appear to be attached to the seats?

Tray, how else would you carry all the food you need?

I don't do that but DO YOUR FUCKING JOB YOU LAZY CUNT NO WONDER YOUR PARENTS ARE DISSAPOINTED IN YOU. YOUR PAID TO PICK UP A FEW CLUSTERS OF POPCORN. and you can't even do that.

>to use the potty

What are you 2 years old?

>tfw you contact epstein barr virus from watching a movie

Damn son