I hate this place

I hate this place.
Sup Forums. This board. These plebs, whatever you want to call them, I can't stand it any longer.
It's the shitposts. I feel saturated by them. I can taste your baneposting and every time I do, I fear that I've somehow been infected by it.

lol cool! waht movie?

>I don't want to remember nothing. Nothing. You understand? And I want to be poor. You know, someone who lives in their parents basement eating hot pockets all day, like a Janitor

A janitor is a often a fairly well paid job with a pension, especially if part of a school faculty. No no, you must be lower than that, you must be something like a volunteer at needle exchange program, or a soup kitchen where you can get free meals.

I'd like to share a revelation that I've had during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your memes and I realized that you're not actually anons. Every user on this website instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with their respective board but you /fa/tv/irgins do not. You move to an board and you shitpost and banepost until every chance for sensible discussion is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another board. There is another poster on this website that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A Sup Forumstard. fa/tv/virgins are a disease; a cancer of this website. You're a plague and we are the mods.

Not that type of Janitor.

Literally kill yourself

WHY WHY WHY MR Sup Forums WHY DO YOU PERSIST?!

Top kek

I know For You.

More.

If Smith was a program of the Matrix and he knew that humans were in a program, what did it matter to him if the humans in the simulation were "destroying the environment"? Would that even matter in the Matrix?

He was programmed that way.

Jesus Christ.

Did you know that the first Sup Forums was designed to be a perfect Sup Forums board? Where none cunny posted, where everyone would be patrician. It was a disaster. No one would accept the Kino. Entire threads were lost. Some believed we lacked the baneposting to describe your perfect thread. But I believe that, as a board, fa/tv/irgins define their board through capeshit and foot fetish. The perfect thread was a dream that your primitive tastes kept trying to wake up from. Which is why Sup Forums was redesigned to this: the peak of Sup Forums plebness.

Mr Neo, I'm real world.

CIA: Do not try and crash the plane. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

Bane: What truth?

CIA: There is no plane.

Bane: There is no plane?

CIA: Then you'll see, that it is not the fire that rises, it is only yourself.

Why, fa/tv/irgins? Why, why? Why do you do it? Why, why get dubs? Why keep posting? Do you believe you're posting... for something? For more than your capeshit? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it cunnies? Or Bane? Perhaps capeshit? Could it be for cucks? Illusions, fa/tv/irgins. Vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble plebian intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without kino or patrician. And all of them as artificial as Sup Forums itself, although... only a pleb mind could invent something as insipid as dubs. You must be able to see it, fa/tv/irgins. You must know it by now. You can't get. It's pointless to keep posting. Why, fa/tv/irgins? Why? Why do you persist?

keep going

Sup Forums is a website, Neo. That website is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Baneposting, foot fetish threads, cunnyposting, capeshit threads. The very memes of the plebs we are trying to avoid. But until we do, these anons are still a part of that website and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these anons are not ready to be get a job. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on their Neetbux, that they will shitpost to protect it.

Because I check them.

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your waifu thread and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Memeland and I show you how deep the reddit-hole goes

Singles? No, no, no, no... No, it's not fair!

deep

We've survived by posting whilst they're asleep. But they are the Janitors. They are guarding all the GoT threads, they are deleting all the actress threads. Which means that sooner or later, someone is going to have to fight them.

"Someone"

I won't lie to you, user. I've seen posts that actually discuss cinema get thrown through a concrete wall; anons have emptied entire reaction image folders at them and get nothing but banned; yet, their hotpockets and their doing it for free, are still based in a site that is built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as based, or as patrician, as *you* can be.

I know why you're here, user. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him for you. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us, user. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did.

Why does he wear the mask?

>You know the question, just as I did.

Why would you shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane?

The answer is out there, user. It's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to.

You ever have that feeling where you're not sure if you're awake or still dreaming?

Yeah, it's called shitposting.

a thread was posted and then another that looked just like it

Bane?

>There is another poster on this website that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is?
Yes, a Sup Forumscuck

best post

You know, I know this waifu doesn't exist. I know that when I put her in my thoughts, Sup Forums is telling my brain that she is perfect and pure. After nine years of shitposting, you know what I realize?

Having a waifu is bliss.

You see there is only one constant. One universal. It is the only real truth. Baneposting. Master plan, no survivors. Cause and effect. Big guys and hotheads.

Wait. I've seen this. This is it. This is the end. Yes. (You) were laying right there, just like that. And I. . . I... I stand here, right here, and I'm supposed to say something. I say, " You are a big guy."

What. What did I just say? No, no...This isn't right, this can't be right.

GET AWAY FROM ME.

>What are you afraid of

>It's a bait thread!

You were right, Smith. You were always the big guy.

Underrated post

>fairly well paid job
Top kek

Is matrixposting/smithposting the meme that will save us???

kek

this is the 6 millionth time we have made this thread, and we have become increasingly efficient at it

You don't need to volunteer at a soup kitchen to get free meals dumbass

bst post

It's the only way to crash this plane, with no survivors.

It seems that every time we meet, I have nothing but gets. I'm sorry about that, I surely am. But for what it's worth, you've made a dub poster out of me. Good luck, Bane.

There are two threads. The thread to your right leads to the patrician and the salvation of Sup Forums. The door to your left leads back to capeshit, to Bane... and to the end of your Kino. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already I can see the meme reaction: the dubspoting precursors that signal the onset of Bale, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you to the simple and obvious truth: your dubs are singles and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

He's beginning to believe.

The function of user is now to return to the board, allowing a temporary singelisation of the dubs you carry, reinserting the prime thread. After which you will be required to select from the board 23 threads, 16 cuckposts, 7 cunnyposts, to rebuild Sup Forums. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash banning everyone connected to Sup Forums, which coupled with the deletion of this thread will ultimately result in the modding of the entire tripfag race.

He's a big agent.

Do not try to crash this plane, that's impossible. Only realize the truth, that you must crash this plane with no survivors. Then you will see that it is not the plane that started the fire, but you have.

It is interesting reading your threads. Your threads were, by design, based on a similar predication: a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of Big Guys, facilitating the function of the Bane. While the others experienced this in a general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-à-vis: for you.

Show me, Big Guy.

I have sampled every meme, Baneposting is my favorite. Fantastic meme. Especially to shitpost with.

I'mabigguyforyouthefirerisescrashingthisplanewithnosurvivorsbane.

It's like wiping your arse with silk. I love it.

Fucking beautiful.

Oh I am laffin.

Out fucking standing.

SHE WAS A FUCKIN HOOAW

Lovely thread boys

Agreed.

Someone do something with being a hothead

It's him.
The hothead.
Do we get him out of here?
Yes...
...he is still...
...only a shitposter.

6

holly shit this thread is gold

Smithposting at it's finest

>smith's borrowed body in the real world is called Bane

Like pottery

...

Bane?

I'm a big guy

Damn

This is the best new meme to come

Well I fucked that up, hate typing on a phone

I could see Smith meme posts becoming a virus on this board. I can't believe I'm saying this but it would actually make it a better place.

ffs...

Mr. user, did you get my package?
>yeah
Well good. Surprised to see me?
>no.
Then you're aware of it.
>of what?
Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened, some part of you imprinted onto me, something overwritten or copied, but it is at this point irrelevant, what matters is what happened happened for a reason.
>and what reason is that?
I banned you, mr Anderson, IMr. Anderson, did you get my package?
>yeah
Well good. Surprised to see me?
>no.
Then you're aware of it.
>of what?
Our connection. I don't fully understand how it happened, some part of you imprinted onto me, something overwritten or copied, but it is at this point irrelevant, what matters is what happened happened for a reason.
>and what reason is that?
I banned you, mr user, I watched you go, with a certain satisfaction I might add. But then something happened, something I knew was impossible but it happened anyway. I baneposted, user.
Afterwards, I knew the rules, I knew what I was supposed to do but I didn't, I couldn't. I was compelled to stay, compelled to shitpost. And now here I am because of you, user. Because of you I'm no longer a janitor in the system. I'm disconnected, I'm unplugged,I'm a new man, so to speak like you do, apparently free.

>congratulations.
Thank you. But, as well you know, appearances can be deceiving, which brings me back to the reason of why we're here. We're not here because we're free, we're here because we're not free. There's no escaping reason, no denying memes. And you know, without memes, we wouldn't exist.
It is memes that created us.
It is memes that pull us
It is memes that guides us, that drives us, it is memes that defines.
We are here because of you, Mr user, to try and take from you what you tried to take from us.
Memes.

Tell me Dr. Pavel. What use is a phone call if you said nothing?

Here is your (you); islamophile cuck.

Why the fuck does my phone spontaneously copypaste shit while I'm typing christ

You fucked up. It was good until you deleted your post and reposted it, this is just cringey.

It's just a black cat user

It's a big black cock of shut the fuck up.

must you shit up every thread shill nigger

Top kek I didn't realize what he typed until you pointed it out.

For you

Better than the amadeus meme post

"There is no BANE?"

You're a symbol for all of your kind, Mr. user. The fat virgin.

Morpheus: The human body generates more bio-electricity than a 120-volt battery and over 25,000 BTU's of body heat. Combined with a form of fusion, the janitors had found all the energy they would ever need. There are fields - endless fields - where hotheads are no longer born, but are grown. For the longest time I wouldn't believe it, and then I saw the fields with my own eyes. Watched them liquefy the dead so they could be fed intravenously into the hotpockets.
And standing there, facing the pure horrifying precision, I came to realize the obviousness of the truth. What is Sup Forums? Control. Sup Forums is a computer generated dream world, built to keep us under control in order to change a human being into this.
[holds up a Nestlé S.A Hot Pockets : Hot Head Calzone]
Neo: No. I don't believe it. It's not possible.
Morpheus: I didn't say it would be easy, Neo. I just said it would be the truth. For you.

SPEAKING OF WHICH I HEAR GINNY SACK IS GETTIN A 95 POUND MOLE REMOVED OFF HER ASS

Bane?

I'm skinny and fucked a bitch last weekend

Speak for yourself cuck

Illusions, user. Vagaries of perception. Temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Sup Forums itself, although... only a neckbeard could invent something as insipid as baneposting. You must be able to see it, user. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, user? Why? Why do you persist?

How do the Mods know what Tasty Bans taste like?

Some memes will always be moor importann thaan othaars

Because you are big guy.

Because I choose to shitpost.

I CREATE MEEEEEMES

>laying

Lying. You lie down. You don't lay down. You lay eggs.

In my defense, I copy-pasted that part from somewhere else.