Anons help me, I'm at a guys house and I am pooping but I didn't realize there was no toiletpaper

anons help me, I'm at a guys house and I am pooping but I didn't realize there was no toiletpaper.

and I don't wanna ask him because my poop smells bad right now.

fuck what do I do

>picrelated me on the toilet right now

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quick shower ftw

I mean...any magazines or anything around?

do the indian emergency
>wipe with hand
>lick it clean
>???
>profit

remember to kiss him afterwards, he will fall in love with you

ALSO TITS OR GTFO

M or f?

I do not recommend using his magazines as toilet paper. You will clog the toilet and things will get very bad

fuck, emergency mode on

you need to flush, quickly strip, then sit in the sink and use it to rinse your ass.

scoop it out with your hands, then waffle-stomp it down the drain, it a no brain-er.

he left no toilet paper in there because he likes it when people are awkward and smell of shit and ask for toilet paper

Isn't it fucking weird if I randomly take a shower

not her house right? so fuck it.

nooo

No its hot.

>clog the toilet
What are you retarded?
Magazine paper is easier to flush, I do it all the time

so romantic

My bad haven't had to use it myself. Wouldn't the lamination make it hard to clean with though?

Flush the toilet so you have clean water in bowl. Use hand and water to clean shit from rectum area. Flush and repeat. Wash hands thoroughly.

U prefer scream and ask for toilet paper?

what kind do you usually use? Vogue is starting to get me all chaffed.

Your done for femanon, unless there are some stuff like cotton balls

depends, what led to this? whats the situation you're in?

Can you postmate?

run out youtu.be/PApus33bRMI

Make the experiment
Take some pages off a magazine and put them inside water.
Most magazines use recycled paper nowadays.

a date

:c

Slowly open the shower, the less sound; the better. Just wipe and clean your ass with the thin stream, it should be enough. Or climb on to the sink.

I use Perfume magazines, they usually leave your ass smelling like flowers.

I'm too short to even come close to be able to sit in the sink

Nice b8

then thats easy, say you hit the gym earlier and you wanted to 'freshen up' for him. guy will just think he's got a good chance of getting laid.

then wink real big

Good idea

>too short to sit in the sink

fuck how short are you? I'd have to squat to reach the sink

Are you going to let him smash? Do you know if he browses Sup Forums?

How much soap is there?? Looks like you might have to wipe with ur hand

yeah I'm going to wash my ass with handsoap

i hate myself right now.

I'm gone for so long fuck, I'll keep you guys posted.

Check under the sink?

NO WAIT
FIRST WE NEED A PIC OF YOU ON THE SHITTER WITH TITS OUT

its the least you can do to say thanks

Show us vag or some tits op

I can call him and tell him he needs to get his shit together

Use his mother's bible.

1. You know the Rules
2. Sup Forums is not your personal army

show us your tits or GTFO

magazines don't have a lamination on them unless you are talking about a cover, most pages will be 100-150gsm thick and coated in a thin layer of gloss/matt seal, that drys on the sheet like an ink, but it is not water resistant it will break down.
best paper would be an offset/porous newsprint at 65-90gsm

but ask yourself... do you really want to risk a paper cut on your ring?

flush shit, wait for smell to die, call guy, wipe. Fucking retard

At work one time I had to call my store number. I had no toliet paper so manger brought me some just ask. Its awkward but who cares just play it off.

>waffle-stomp

kek

what kind of terrible planning leads to shitting on a date?

you always shit prior to the date to make sure

>I do it all the time
why don't you have toilet paper? has that been banned in America too? can't you yanks be trusted with anything?

>eurocuck projecting
>needs a permit to buy forks

a permit to buy forks? is that another yank thing? do you even know where Europe is?

This

to be fair fork permits are really just a cursory background check, you don't need references like with sporks

WELL MY ASS IS CLEAN

so I made up a excuse, I just yelled from upstairs

''I'm sorry for taking so long I have a eyelash in my eye that I can't get out and it keeps annoying me I'll be down in a bit''

he said ohh okay take your time

i think he believes me

no I think he thinks you are prepping your anus for a beating.
Better do that too to be safe.
also you shit in his house so you owe him.

this has been a rollercoaster of a thread op
so is he getting lucky or what

...

He doesn't, but he also probably doesn't care.
If your shit stinks that bad look in to improving your diet

lol user might have a point here, clean your hole up ya slut

Youre all faggots. You seriously just helped a "femanon" without any proof (tits) that she actually was a femanon. You are all a disgrace to this board.

What feminism feet and a black thong isnt enough, it was for me

I've been assuming its a short gay dude.

this thred aint about tits user, it's about op being stuck in a humiliating situation that was fixed by showering his butthole

go to pornhub if you're so desperate

shut up old timer, Sup Forums belongs to the newfags now, we make the rules. fuck off back to your autism cave you fucking weeb.

yeah I think so, probably be bruised by tomorrow.

okay thanks for the help anons, going back into the real world now.

if this thread is still alive later I'll post update and some timestamps

xoxo

thx op, make sure the updates are timestamped butthole and good luck

Nice panties faggot

Use his mother's Bible.

No one suggested to look around the bathroom for extra toilet paper?

People usually keep extra toilet paper under the sink or cabinets

agreed, I know I do.
it's ridiculous to run out of toilet paper in the first place, dude must be disorganised as fuck.