OFFICIAL DETROIT LIONS SUICIDE/DEPRESSION THREAD

When are we ever going to catch a break?

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you should be happy. the delusions are over

when u play better than the other team xD

When u get a cube that's not a massive fuccboi

>Loins have consistently picked at the top of the draft for the last 20 years

>still can't win a playoff game

I'd just be a fan of another team.

To be honest here, they've played so poorly for so long now I'm amazed anyone pays those fuckers to "play".

Hey Dak... are you ready to get destroyed by the most heterosexual man in professional sports? Let me just take care of Eli right quick...

Pats fan here. Leave the Seacucks to the better teams. Go back to your derelict piece of shit, you call a city.

boycott the fords and maybe things will change. You faggots still going to games have no room to bitch.

>Stop supporting the team
>Wait for the Lions to relocate
>Hope you get a new team
Only way fellow Lionbros

I wouldn't feel so bad about sucking if THE FUCKING REFS WOULD FUCK OFF

WHAT THE HELL DID WE DO TO DESERVE THAT SHITTY REFBALL

THAT FACEMASK
THAT BLOCK IN THE BACK
THAT PICKING UP AND DROPPING STAFFORD

>Mfw too smart to lose to the Packers

Not even the browns went 0-16.

Red Wings are down 2-1...

When you change your names, move the team to Green Bay and start calling yourself the Packers

>Oh wait

please tell me that's a photoshop...

3-1

Pic related. Its you.

I like them tomorrow

>When are we ever going to catch a break?

When you stop thinking that you are owed a "break"
Instead of holding the team accountable, you blame the refs for the lions inability to catch the ball.

Looking through Detroit's schedule is pretty funny.

They don't have a single win worth talking about. Got swept by Green Bay. Lost to the Giants and the Cowboys. Lost to the fucking Texans.

They shit the bed against literally every playoff team they played.

What a waste of time.

In the next regular season
If that

I do not have autism, but thank you for your concern.

Never. They'll always be the patsy of the NFL. It's their stigma, and the media/league will always hammer that in.

Hey now
They beat exactly 1 team with a winning record. That should mean something right?

Martha Firestone Ford cleaned house after last season in order to avoid shit like this. Looks like it didn't work.

FYI lads
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

I feel bad for you guys. I really do. I wish we had beaten someone else. I'm always a sucker for underdogs.

thanks doc

>Martha Firestone Ford cleaned house

Caldwell is still there

>Looks like it didn't work.

Not gonna work, they already said Caldwell is staying for another year

>cleaned house
>Caldwell still employed

>tfw The Detroit Lions will never be Belichick Era New England Patriots tier
>tfw Detroit will never be Boston or Greater Boston tier

I can't live this way anymore.

kys

Soon brother. All these fags have nothing better to do but kick us while we are down but the fire is only beginning to rise. This team was garbage every single Lions fan knew it and we were still able to get into the playoffs. Stafford was injured, this WAS a rebuilding year, and it is coming.

I'd rather have a qb that doesn't take dicks in the ass. Thanks anyway though

Jim Bob Cooter called an awful game today

They'll be fine. They have a good GM for once and hopefully they won't have to run out a bunch of 2nd, 3rd and 4th stringers this year.

Like, god bless 'em, but Zenner and Washington were never part of the plan for this year.

You are going to get fucking raped tomorrow and you know it. You've been here before. Packers are technically a superior team. But Manning and Brady are going to have one last showdown.

That was Caldwell. Your front office need to fire him.

Lions get a pretty big break between now and the start of next season lmao

btw if you think they should fire Caldwell, you're an idiot.

The shittiest part is that he made marginal improvements as a coach. He still can't win the games they're not supposed to, but he won games that he would've lost last year. So naturally he'll get the Fisher treatment.

Lions will never win a playoff game with Caldwell as HC, this is obvious

sorry about the olive branch my man

Cooter called it great the receivers need to catch a fucking ball that hits them in the hands.

At least you have the Red Wings.

>checks NHL standings

...nevermind.

>break
First of all fuck you. By break he meant when the Lions ACTUALLY have a good team they get fucked hard. This was not a good team even if we won we'd still get bootyblasted by anything that played us.

>It's an Eli vs. the Packers episode
We all know how this one ends, friendo.

Signed,
A really nervous Pats fan.

What does he bring to the table?

>Clock management
lmao next
>Playcalling
He's made slight improvements, but he's reached a ceiling. He will consistently be outcoached by the teams who regularly make the playoffs. If Detroit wants this same experience year after year, by all means keep him.
>Morale
The team gave up once calls started going against them. That's Caldwell's fault.
>Discipline
He couldn't keep his veterans from chimping put in the biggest game of the season.

Keeping Caldwell is saying they're okay with continuing their drought of division titles and playoff wins. The next coach might be awful, but just like coaching, you can't be conservative when things aren't working.

Wow I never thought I'd see the day that a playoff team whose lead receiver is Golden Tate and primary RB is Zach Whoever would lose. Now I've truly seen it all.

You fucking idiots do realize the team made the playoffs the FIRST FUCKING YEAR after she cleaned house and hired all new staff. Did you fucking retards expect a Super Bowl the first fucking year or something?

All of you should kill yourselves for acting like spoiled children. It was clear that the team was driving off mostly luck, Stafford's decision to actually put work in as a quarterback and a competent GM who knew how to draft. Next season if they do this again then get mad but until then shut the fuck up and be grateful we made the playoffs when most people wrote our team off.

Who becoming spiteful fans here? I think this shit is turning me into a Philly tier fan where I cheer Rodgers and the entire Packers team dies in a horrific plane accident.

Unfortunately, Caldwell has the distinction of being the most winningest coach in Lions Super Bowl era history

That's because you want to take those dicks in your mouth instead.

Lions fans aren't the ones complaining it's the current we make the playoffs every year fans kicking us while we're down for some reason. Read the thread champ you are correct though it is coming and when it does it is gonna be like a cock up Rodgers ass.

Wow, yeah, you're right, they should fire Caldwell and bring in somebody who has all those qualities!

Like

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when TOF posts bussy

Currently... who here expecting a top 5 Draft pick in 2018? I am almost hoping for a shit season just so we can finally remove Caldwell.

It's ok Lions bros. You can join us in cheering against Green Bay.

I'm honestly a little scared Stafford might leave

I believe in Bob Quinn, but Caldwell will not take this team to the Super Bowl

To the people saying that after cleaning house they went to the playoffs, the NFC was garbage this year and they still barely squeaked in and went 0-6 vs playoff teams

Bob Quinn just needs time to fix the roster

This is so fucking true the Coaching market is currently garbage right now. Maybe we could hire Rex Ryan!

Already on it. Truly the Giants are our greatest ally.

In all honesty after the Bears loss I was happy because I thought we'd get a good draft spot, Caldwell would get fired, and I wouldn't have to get my hopes up.

Leave it to the Lions to always find a way to fuck you regardless

No one is going to pay Stafford the massive pay day he wants so don't worry, he's going to be a Lion for life like Sanders and Johnson.

>mfw Burrs and Loins going to be ruling the division in a few years
>mfw everyone forgets Erin is actually pretty injury prone and he will fall apart hard and won't be around for 100 years like Brett.
>mfw the pendulum swings eventually

I want Rotgers to rape all the children in Wisconsin. It's what you fat fucks deserve.

>Stafford will retire by 2019
just kill me now

""""""""""life""""""""""

>isn't even 30 yet
Unless we see a sudden decline in performance the best QB in Lions history is going no where.

>pretending the NFL is in any way fair

Don't act like you're at all fucking welcome. Come back when you don't have a playoff win for a decade or so.

It won't be a decline in performance, it will be a decline in his willingness to play for this godawful franchise.

This. He will wait for his last massive pay day, like Calvin did, and then walk away.

this, stafford seems like the kind of selfish person who doesn't play for a team/city but to win and make the most money

God you are dumb go to sleep.

Jake Rudock looks pretty good bro

> browses Sup Forums
> denies having autism

Pick one.

God was toying with you. They were making circus catches all night.

Stafford single handedly took a franchise in the dumps and made it fairly competitive. There's new management and a new spirit in the locker room, No way Stafford lets that go when he could be the most successful Lions qb in Super Bowl era history. It would be a one way ticket to Canton

>most successful
>lions quarterback

this is not an accomplishment

Barry Sanders will never win a Super Bowl

Sad!

>an episode where the bad guy eats the spirit bomb and doesn't die

Sweet, thanks for the karma for a lulz worthy come from behind victory. It will bring many delicious tears tomorrow when Eli loses from a gaurenteed win.

Around the time we catch the ball. The refs fucked us left right and center tonight, but the fact of the matter is we could have overcome that had we played worth a shit. It was a close game for most of the time despite the blatant interference of the league, but we just couldn't answer their touchdowns.

Aaron won the Owl as a System babby and has gone 2-5 in the playoffs losing at home as a #1 seed to the Giants. The only time he won an Owl was when he also sat out 5 games do to injury. The 80's will come again your franchise lives and dies on Rodgers just remember that.

>Minnesota shitting the bed lost AD
>Green Bay was FOUR AND SIX

>Lions literally gifted division can't win that
>Go one and done in playoffs again get a shit draft pick AGAIN will be deluded of grandeur AGAIN

This is actually hilarious how can anyone be a fan of this team? I'd rather be a Browns fan

>John Elway didn't win a superb owl until he was 37
>Mathew Stafford isn't even 30 yet

We have time bros, all >we gotta do is cut everyone on that defense except Slay, Robinson, and Quin and replace them with LITERALLY ANYBODY WHO KNOWS HOW TO PLAY DEFENSE

This fucking team couldn't stop anyone all year, ansah is a bust now and whitehead couldn't cover himself with a blanket. Fucking losers, I hate myself for being a fan of this team

Even though I expect nothing I still end up disappointed, FUCK

Ansah isn't a bust. High ankle sprains fuck your year up.

...

Next season I promise you

Ive seen the future cause I'm high as fuck. Your coach convinced me

Screen cap. Lions will have best year since ever for that team.

Sounds more Bears-tier to me

Don't worry lionsbro, some day soon we'll have a Raider/Lions owl and it will be glorious.

why do americans keep watching fake rigged ""sports""?

why do italians keep voting fake rigged ""governments""?

not an answer

He will make a dump truck full of money. The Lions will pay him. This is not in question.

>implying the most rigged sport isn't divegrass

delete this

Why do lions fans get mad when their 99 year old ford lady get mentioned?

This is a good defensive draft coming up right? We can't keep allowing 73% pass completion. Our secondary other than Slay is ass.

We need defense, an actual run game, and an offensive line that FUCKING BLOCKS FOR THE RUN GAME

Who do we draft in the first round realistically?

>ansah a bust

You dumbfuck, he's getting sacks while dealing with a high ankle sprain he literally said would bother him the entire year. Ziggy is elite af, and will once again be the monster we know him to be next season when he's healthy.