Ok listen up you bunch of faggots. I don't even know why I'm taking the time to tell you this. Real MEN do big cums...

Ok listen up you bunch of faggots. I don't even know why I'm taking the time to tell you this. Real MEN do big cums. But you probably don't even know how. I feel bad for you, really.
There are three styles for doing cums. Tarantula Style, Yetti Style, and Tallahassee style. I'm board certified to teach all three. Maybe if you ask nicely I will.

Dear Sir,
Would you be so kind as to inform us of the three styles of big cums.
Yours faithfully,
user

Teach us senpai pls i want to have big cummies

f u nigga i bet u're eating kfc rn

Tell me about the cums and why are they big?

On behalf of the curious, may we please be illuminated by your wisdom?

Sure, which one would you like to learn?happily, my son. You need only choose a style to learn
get the fuck out of my dojo, nigger

Go figure, this unfunny shit posted with a picture of some mentally retarded jackass. All this garbage you spew out attempting to be funny still isn't as bad as Tim an Eric.

Let the man speak

All of them senpai, starting with the tarantula

alright since there's a decent level of interest I'm going to talk about Big Time Cumming in broad strokes, but feel free to ask about specific styles.
>Whether you’re new to the art of squeezing hot mayonnaise out of the end of your eel, or you’ve been dumping huge loads of sloppy semen for year’s, you know that jerking isn’t just a hobby; it’s a lifestyle.

Please sensei enlighten us

>Each time that thick, meaty cum-cannon pukes out another string of white tziki sauce there is a sense of achievement, a sense that you have yet again perfected your craft. For those who are serious about becoming a pro-jerker, there are some key lifestyle changes you can make today to better position yourself for success.

This thread is intriguing and worrying all at the same time

Better start fapping now just in case it gets good

>string of white tziki sauce

:')

But we'll get to that later. Let's talk about Tarantula Style, or "T" style. This discipline is all about becoming insanely hairy and learning to do large cums while hanging from the ceiling or while leaping and flailing. T style is good for achieving good area coverage (a quality splat zone), but typically does not result in the greatest distance shot.

Like this?

i am intrigued by this thread. i'm not sure if i should laugh or be horrified.

likely a T Style master in your photo, very good user

Where Tarantula style fails at achieving long-range spurts of ball snot, Yetti Style excells. By honing the body to be white and hairy, and learning to scream like a yeti while contracting the testicular biceps, one can hit targets with great force over considerable distances. Think of the Yetti Style master as the sniper of the big time cumming.

I want to know how to distribute my tzatziki further than all of my friends

This fucking thead

If range is what you're looking for I would recommend Yetti style for you. Practice screaming like an ape and bulging your eyes out when you do the cums, and make sure you're edging every hour of the day besides when you're doing cums

If up close and personal is more your thing, I recommend Tallahassee Style
>This style requires the cummer to bust all over themselves, and then slide around like a greased watermelon, smearing everything in sight with your ball leakage.
>Starting on your hands and knees, do a handstand against a wall.
>Once you are upside down, beat your meat while staring up at your dangling jizz-slinger and be sure to also look at your scrotal sac.
>After exactly one minute, blow dick-cream onto your own face and mouth.
> When you are finished you should have a shitload of semen on you.
>This is where the fun begins

What about Tallahassee style, Senseï ?

I dont understand this thread, but im sure as hell enjoying it

I'm cumming