What does Sup Forums think of chimp attack lady?

What does Sup Forums think of chimp attack lady?

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i.imgur.com/wWVQFFi.jpg
esquire.com/news-politics/a5609/chimpanzee-attack-0409/
gamefaqs.com/boards/212-/62051858
youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc
youtube.com/watch?v=efGIwj3PQ9I
salon.com/2002/02/12/cougar/
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something something witty racist joke

Chimp lives matter

Around blacks never relax

How exactly did the chimp do that?

typical rich bitch from CT. she got what she deserved. RIP Travis the Chimp.

Fuck shit get hit? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Chimps are absolutely ferocious

I think it's where nigs get their rage

Same as everybody, burn the coal, pay the toll

At least she can live a wrinkle free old age now

But she wont be able to tell....

You win some

BURN THE COAL, PAY THE TOLL

I think she got attacked by a chimp.

They should have done the humane thing and euthanize her.

Would still fuck/10

chimp wasn't a little cuddly guy - he was full grown, see pic.

The chimp literally tore her face off with his hands, and threw her jaw away. i think her hands were ripped off too.

Possibly worst way to learn a lesson

Primates are the next group together "human" rights. By not killing them off now and preventing it, humans will be the new evil oppressive dis white people to an oppresses gorilla, chimp, and dolphin minority. You'll be trying to keep your daughter away from flipper and King Kong thanks to baboon controlled media and oppression points going to PC dumb asses. Chimp lady should have known better than to keep an animal without thousands of years of domestication.

...

a chimp will fuck you up and go straight for your balls, these motherfuckers are strong as fuck.
i will neve ever want to meet a chimp, ever.

looks like she's give a crazy blowie. i could work with that right eye hole too

She looks like she's a female to male tranny now.

Never go full chimp attack.

You talking shit faggot?

Thank god I'm /fit/ enough to fight that motherfucking chimp back

I'm pretty shure I could handle that fatass

>Amazingly LaDonna was only bitten on the hand, consequently while trying to protect her husband St. James, who by far got the worst of the attack, which resulted in having his balls literally ripped off as well as suffering massive wounds to his face, body and limbs.


>The worst part of this story is that Moe sat back and watched while his "Dad" was getting his arms ripped off and shoved up his ass. Now, I guess the best part of the story is also that Moe himself was not attacking and going ape shit, he was just excited to see his old owners and eat some god damn birthday cake - Since, I guess, chimps like cake.


These idiots get what they deserve, i'm so happy the chimp ripped his balls and dick off.

you would not stand a chance in hell

He a good boy he didn't du nuffin

Paco, you're fucking retarded if you think you could handle a chimpanzee in a 1v1 encounter. You'd get put in the fucking dirt, just like 99% of humans.

Burn the coal...

It's sad.

Also a cautionary tale.

i.imgur.com/wWVQFFi.jpg

Doubt it

It's not like cockfighting, amigo

>Ive seen some shit man, I wouldn't recommend it

>500lb+ animal
>big fucking claws and sharp ass teeth
>i stand a chance guys

I say we release chimps into Mexico and let god sort them out.

Well played m8...

fuck i remember when that happened, started reading about other chimp attacks and freaked the fuck out

AHAHAHA 1 chimp = 5 grown-ass men

Knowing how small my fellow Hispanics are, José, even if you were 300 pounds of muscle you would die from CHIMP

Chimps are like 90-95% muscle mass in average

It would fuck you up breh, only a gun could save you

esquire.com/news-politics/a5609/chimpanzee-attack-0409/

I mean... I agree that the Chimp has a pretty good chance but this summarizes it pretty well

gamefaqs.com/boards/212-/62051858

I'd pay so much money to watch that shit on ppv. Someone make this shit happen!!!

youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc

The amazing 911 call, while she's talking travis is eating her "friend" alive.

Why not just have a dog as a pet? This is where normies get it right.

Superb post

Even Brock Lesnar would get manhandled by an adult chimp.

The animal world demolishes humans in terms of physicality.

He's a big guy.

The muscle density of chimps and gorillas is through the fucking roof. A chimp that weighs the same as an adult male has easily thrice or more times his strength.

A chimp can literally tear your limbs off.

What tactics would you employ to fight a chimp?

I know they can be killed with spears and bows... but is it possible to club them to death?

Sounds like a fun and challenging sport.

>Trump releasea chimps into Mexico
>watch as the skinny burritos go off in a bull run

Skip to 2:10:48
youtube.com/watch?v=efGIwj3PQ9I

2nd that

Burn coal

>Mexican intellectuals

you know a chimp is powerful enough to rip a car door off right?

Goddamn. Your only real chance would be to get your lips around his dick

Chimps have far greater power than humans of comparable size.

Even in 1926 - a test was done on chimps, and a chimp managed to pull (on a measuring device) 820 lbs one handed.

The strongest humans they could find could only pull 200 lb one handed. 500lb with TWO hands.

Conclusion : A chimp would rip your arms out of the sockets and beat you with them.
Do not fuck with them.

>I tried stabbing him but it just made him worse...

God I wish there was video of this madness.

>this is the picture that started the big chimp cock meme

I wonder if BJJ would work

GIB BACK

Apparently "Moe" escaped a few years later and was never seen again.

Around chimps
Watch your lips

Good grief, what a looney

>how do you fight a chimp?
You dont,if the little fuck is comming for you run like hell,he might not be able to catch up

he got away with murder, why is Moe not on the FBI top most wanted list?

Chimps don't have super human strength you tards. A strong human could very likely over power a chimp, given that you could easily pick it up and fling it around because it is so much smaller.

Any able body man could also do that to a woman's face, we just tend to be much more intelligent and kill people effectively, not just grabbing skin and tearing away until something dies.

chimps should never ever be owned/handled by anyone unless they are a trained professional and don't live near anyone else
they're so fucking dangerous it's unreal
your ONLY chance is a gun, like other anons said

>mfw these people think primates possess any sort of human-like rationality and aren't just ticking time bombs waiting to go off

wtf does this have to do with politics

stop shitting up the board Australia, I was starting to like you

What Ya'll motherfuckers don't realize is that most men are smart enough to not use their fists to fight a chimp. A nice sturdy stick would even the odds- some sort of blunt metal object makes it in the human's favor. Any sort of sharp bladed weapon makes it decisively in the human's favor. If it's a large bladed weapon then the chimp has no chance.

And to be completely honest any non retard would be carrying a gun to defend against our local ghetto chimps which negates the problem entirely.

>A strong human could very likely over power a chimp,
you have got to be a fucking retard

Just to give you an idea, the average zoo-born FEMALE chimp can pull 1,260 pounds. Not enraged mind you.

It's safe to say they're at least 2.5x as strong as humans.

I don't even know what tactic would be best for fighting one. I imagine some kind of rear chokehold might work if you're fast, sneaky, and strong enough.

Or you can do the old bear killing tactic and try to shove your entire arm down its throat.

Oh boy, here we fuckin go...

no you idiot. chimps literally have the strength of 3 men

being ''fit'' don't mean anything, chimps are pure muscle and 6 times stronger than men
but for this reason they cant swim, they sink like rocks

RIP your arm :(

This is bait if I've ever seen it.

People tend to forget that humans best ability is actually running. We only killed things because we could chase them to exhaustion. Against the might of true beasts, we aren't much.

Only a few humans alive a bad ass enough to even do something like choke out a lion.

salon.com/2002/02/12/cougar/

A dog, a cat, a pigeon, anything nice and domesticated.
Not a fucking chimpanzee.

HE DINDU NUFFIN, HE A GOOD BOY
HE BE GOIN TO THE ZOO EVERYDAY

>relaxing around chimps

I remember reading about an attack story once where a chimp was in a facility with some zoologists or some shit, and they had taught it sign language.

One of the people did something, I forget, to slight the chimp (like not giving it the dankest food) and it signed at them that it would hurt them for it.

One day the chimp was able to get out of his room, and proceeded to walk straight down the hall to the office where this dude worked, and attack him --- bit off like all his fingers, gouged out his face, and the usual chimp attack shit. THIS MOTHERFUCKER TOLD HIM WELL AHEAD OF TIME THAT IT WOULD HURT HIM, AND THEN DID AT THE VERY FIRST CHANCE.

She looks like Boris at the end.

Nobody knows how strong these fuckers are. Get your facts straight you fucking morons. You are all fucking morons.

And a strong man literally has the strength of 3 men.

You people vastly overestimate how strong animals are. Even the worlds strongest man that can deadlift 1000+lb (probably about 4-5 times what a normal man could) would not be able to rip your arm out of its socket.

Chimps feats of strength are largely hearsay and what attacks have happened are not out of the realm of possibility of a human being making use of teeth and sadism.

Do you people ever actually do any research of your own? You're literally on the same level as liberals, just repeating bullshit you hear without verifying it.

Pound for pound chimps are stronger, but they also don't weigh as much. They effectively have similar abilities to an adult male human. People tend to forget that these brutal images of mutilated faces could very easily also be done by a human being barehanded if they were so inclined to do so.

>chimpanzee
>500lbs

You literally don't even know what a chimpanzee is.

>bot gallin gettle blag
hab 2 puu
go 2 luu

FUCKING GIVE HER BACK
I WILL FUCKING RIP YOU APART
YOU WILL LOOK LIKE YOU WERE MANHANDLED BY A FUCKING CHIMPANZEE BY THE TIME I'M THROUGH WITH YOU
DON'T WASTE MY TIME, GIVE HER BACK
NOW

Jesus I was cracking up

>Lady: "He TORE HER APART! "
>background: "REE REEEE REEEE"

I'm going to need a source or something. That sounds too unreal

You been reading Born to Run or some shit?

That won't work. Those fuckers have long arms, too. Literally, a shot gun is your best tool.

His balls.

Gotta bite the balls. Chimps operate like tribes and they have clans where there's multiple families and a patriarch watching over the whole tribe. Patriarch gets the best food, sleeping spot, and breeding rights.

He also gets constantly challenged for his alpha position that he attains by a combination of physical prowess and forging alliances with other chimps through grooming. They try to hand off alpha status to their families and offspring, so rivals will try to castrate you and the males in your family. Castrated chimps don't grow as big or strong.

Now you understand why this chimp didn't attack the dumb bitch but went for her husband.

Nice balls chimpo

Whiteboi being entertainment, how amusing, do continue

id like to see a brazilian jiu0jitsu fighter go against one. id be like when ozzies thought theyd fight animals

I agree a human being COULD do that, but it wouldn't be easy, and you'd damage your hands doing it. Your fingernails would probably come out with the force you'd exert ripping off a chunk of someone's skin.

if i ever see a Chimp in the wild, i'm gonna fucking kill it, jesus christ these things are monsters

jesus fucking christ

DESIGNATED

I highly doubt this but it's hilarious none the less