I've made some terrible decisions that have made myself and people hate me...

I've made some terrible decisions that have made myself and people hate me. I ended up becoming a NEET and everyone I know looks at me as a disappointment. I'm trying to better myself, but no matter what I do there's always someone or something that makes things harder. I haven't given up yet, but I'm contemplating suicide. What also fucks with me is that my past tends to always come and haunt me when I least expect it..not sure what to do about that.
Friends...I don't even consider them friends anymore. They don't talk or invite me to go anywhere anymore. It's like as if they formed a circle without me. I've even introduced them to other people I'm "friends" with and yet they seem to invite/talk to them more than me..like I was replaced or something.

I feel like I've become a Nobody and I'm just here waiting until the day I die.

Should I stop being a bitch and just kill myself already?

no. God loves you man, so much so that youre both his son and brother. try developing those relationships first.

why neet?

nah, you dont need friends they're just people society says you should have

thats a good point

Only if you live stream it okay?

What did you do?

WHAT DID YOU DO?

WHAT
DID
YOU
DO
?!?

this is bogus/unprovable
this, however, is true

join the military, ditch everything, and try to get stationed overseas.

Join Merchant Marines.

DO IT

Let's just say I've done something that everyone else has done and a group of hypocrites had made me a living target at the time.

Highschool dropout, fight club scenes with dad and heavy depression.

...

Well you must have been kinda unpopular before if they just pick on you now. Except you are lying to yourself and you did something worse. Or you are autistic and can't comprehend why what you did was wrong

>fight club scenes with dad
what?

We were throwing hands till someone was bleeding

Rip decker

Are you even trying to be a decent person atm? Or just whining that nobody wants to keep up with your bullshit

Nah I was well known. I know what I did was wrong and acted out of emotions, but people made a bigger deal than it really was and the people who targeted me have done things worst that I could've easily exposed them for. I just wanted the drama to end so I didn't bother making more of a mess.

First thing is to stop being NEET. not doing shit will contribute to feelings of worthlessness... I mean being paid for your time and services will certainly negate that. Make friends at work. Interact with people there while getting your shit together. When you've got your shit together, it will build confidence and people naturally gravitate towards that. Focus on your passions professionally first. Then get hobbies. Try to eat healthy and stay in relatively good shape and the rest will come naturally. This applies to you in whatever stage of life you're in. If you kill yourself, you'll only be doomed to have to repeat this whole process in another life, until you learn whatever lessons life has to tech you before transcending on to the next "phase" of existence... Whatever that is, heaven or whatever. Just my opinion.
Keep your head up user. Keep trying. Don't be afraid to fail or fall. Those are your greatest opportunities to learn from your mistakes.

Yeah I am. This is the first time I actually bitched about my problems. Its just today is hitting me hard and not sure what to do.

I might

Hmm.. I appreciate this.I'll keep this in mind.

Beating around the bush won't help if you want advice on the topic.
If you fucked up with your social circle and can't fix it try getting a new one. Get a job or whatever.
Do you get along with your family by now? You should sort the shit out with them

My relationship with family has slowly been getting better.