Share the dumbest thing you have ever done but have fond memories of. i once drove 65 miles in under half an hour...

share the dumbest thing you have ever done but have fond memories of. i once drove 65 miles in under half an hour. on the interstate in texas in a 1994 jaguar xj6. i dont think i dropped below 110 on the tach once and i had a speedometer reading of over 150mph at one point but in reality i was probably going closer to 135. most tachs arn't accurate after around 85.only saw police lights once but it was in the rear view and disappeared immediately and i never saw another one. lucky me i guess. i was around 21 at the time. i don't have any pics of that car anymore. i had some printed *telling my age here* but lost them long ago. looked almost just like this one but mine had black leather and a sunroof.

i almost forgot about this but it had a fucking car phone. now i owned it after that was a thing but it was fucking hilarious when i test drove it opened up the center console and there was a fucking phone built in. it had a fucking valet key. i paid 2800$ for it.i need to buy another one of these cars. great deal people.

no one? i once played a game of yugioh in the middle of a pagan orgy. that's a true story btw. no regrets. actually with where i was living at the time i wasn't even that shocked. i reacted but not the way you normally would to that. also here's my wolf. sorry btw not really attention seeking more than drunk and realizing the absurdities of my life. lets hear yours shouldn't be true but is thing.

btw wolfs are shitty pets. this asshole has broken 3 doors 2 mattresses and 1 pair of my prescription glasses and countless other things.

I have a couple half-wolves that are pretty well-behaved. Their father was a German Shepherd police dog, so maybe his training kept them from being total shitheads. They have eaten large chunks of linoleum from my kitchen floor, though.

the issue is a dog knows what you want and usually listens. a wolf knows what you want and throws a fit.

Fucked a horrible fat chick whilst super high.
>She had wicked tits and just took a 4 hour amphetamine fueled stabbing like a champ.

fucking a fat chick is like riding a scooter. it is a lot of fun just don't let your friends find out. *i own and insure a honda elite 60. my fiancees grandfather owned it before us*

elite 80 not 60. again drunk typo

The last time I heard that joke I laughed so hard I fell off my scooter.

I once skitched a friends car to try and see if we could beat the speed limit on a skateboard. Was doing about 25mph when I hit a manhole and started to wobble. I let go of the car and my board flew out from under me and I went backwards onto concrete.

I landed on my hand first and broke a few bones in my hand and my scaphoid. Then I hit my side and cut myself up on the grit, then rolled onto my back and slammed my head into the ground before stopping.

Broken bones, mild concussion and a night in A&E while they picked bits of concrete out of my side. Fucking nasty scar and months in plaster but could have been so much worse, seeing as I hit my head and didn't have a helmet.

Still skate but never doing that again

i was a wood pusher mall rat as a kid too. never tried to skitch but i knocked myself flat the fuck out on a dumpster gate door when an employee didn't see me rocking downhill as fast as i could go and swung a gate into my face.

It was fun whilst until I finished. It was like a Tsunami of dumb fuckery at the very moment I blew my load.

>She also got preggo

Sounds pretty shitty. People don't look out for skate boards, feels bad man.

My buddy used to rollerblade fucking everywhere. I think he wore his skates more than his shoes.

This one time, we let him grab the back of my quad while i put her to the bar up my street. 5th gear and the throttle maxed out far as i could push it in, probably doing close to 60 mph (top speed was 65 but she really had to work for it)

He didnt flip or anything, thank god. I got the speed wobble and had to slack off though and he almost bit the back rack.

Also seen that cray motherfucker go down the steepest hills he could find and go as fast as possible. Got more stories I'll type them up later.

60 is impressive! I'm kind of glad I never got too fast considering I bailed, but I wish I at least had an impressive speed like this to give the story a bit more oomph.

worked in a saw mill 8 hours a day and went to gym 2 hours a day, and 2 hours of walking, was literally doing a 14 hour physical labour shift 6 days a week. got fucking jacked but destroyed my body i wasnt even 22 years old. rhemenoid arthritus for the rest of my life, but for a season i was god.

all praise the mighty herb, secret performance enhancer if there ever was such a thing, smoke pot kids. DO DRUGS DO IT

>speedwobble*
op here. i have 1978 honda cb400 it belonged to my grandfather so i keep it around and ride it from time to time. added to my other vehicles it only cost me like 4$ a month. i love the bike around town but at almost exactly at 75mph it gets SERIOUS speed wobble. ask me how i know.

>just warming up after winter
>still bit of snow on the old railbed
>decide to go to crappy tire
>see shitty plastic toboggans on sale
>like those ones for kids made of thin ass plastic
>bright idea
>rollerbro buys one
>ties it to back rack of quad
>he jumps in it
>all is well for the first few miles
>lots of snow, take some sweet jumps
>hit the rail bed
>he decides he wants to stay in the toboggan despite there being very little snow
>ok bud
>rip up the trail
>hitting close to 40
>toboggan hits gravel
>instantly tears the bottom out of toboggan
>and my buddy's pants
>hes screaming in pain
>were all loling shouting told you so
>had to get stitches in his ass cheeks

>ask me how i know.

I mean I want to know, but fuck me is this an obnoxious way of going about it. Just put it in the first post rather than dragging everyone along like a cock tease, it's just attention seeking.

i mean i thought it was obvious. i took it on the highway hit 75 once and it almost broke my wrist by the front tire whipping back and forth and i figured out it can do 65 but not 75 before the front tire say fuck you and starts flopping like a trout. when that bike was made highway speed was 55.

I take this back. The dumbest thing I ever did was;

>going to woods to have a fire
>underage but we found a shop keeper who didn't give a fuck selling us matches
>buy about 20 boxes
>live in a heavily segregated and racially tense part of the country
>start spouting shit to some illegal workers down an alley (we were 13 or so Just being dicks)
>one comes after us with a huge knife/blade (Arab)
>we scatter in every direction
>I think I'm invincible and the world is a simulation so there is 0 chance of a speeding car going down the road
>run out from behind a van to cross the road
>see the car in the corner of my eye
>...i made it... brief moment of relief
>car hits me, I'm holding all the boxes of matches in both hands, bounce off the car into oncoming traffic onto my face, all of the match boxes ignite and sets my coat arm on fire, start shaking it off, my arm is snapped, cartilage is splintering out from inside my nose and one of my trainers(sneakers) was about 100ft down the road

>10 years later mate tells me he made up that they were coming to stab us

>were all camping on a beach one night
>drunk as fuck
>someone took the keys out of all our quads and hid them away
>too drunk to go look for them or accuse anyone
>no fucking fun allowed
>rollerbro is bored
>picking at campfire complaining his rollerskates wont work on sand
>the fuck bruh why you even have those here
>dicking around and throwing flaming sticks at eachother
>rollerbro shouts at us
>HEY CHECK THIS OUT
>motherfucker had fireworks
>have epic shootout with roman candles and screech owls
>he gets another idea
>pulls his pants down
>assumes doggy position
>nigga this gettin gay
>sticks screech owl in anus
>other friend lights it
>psssssstttttt SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEE BOOM
>other friend and myself is loling our asses off
>hear roller bro screaming
>he burned the fuck out of his asscrack
>laughing intensifies
>few days later walking down the street
>rollerbro calls me over
>HEY user CHECK THIS OUT
>pulls his fucking pants down right in the middle of main street
>can see burn marks
>fucking god damn it man
>stifling laughter
>we hang for a bit
>he disappears into the night after we smoke like 3 doobies and i head home because i dont even know whats happening
>laughing my ass off the entire way

Oh yeah, guess I didn't clock it was rhetorical. Wrong end of the stick I guess, my bad. Seems really obvious now.

i only just realized i fucked up all of my terminology while drunk. i meant speedo not tach. tach is rpm not speed. i feel dumb now. i promise i know cars better than that.

Oh but he wants you to want him so badly. He is such a social outcast that he seeks validation from strangers on the internet. No one would listen to his shit stories in person so he teases with them online to fill the void.

you good fam.i've done the same shit.

Picked this one out just for you as an apology. It's just for looking at though, too rare to save.

I once shot a man in reno

Just to watch him die

are you fucking retarded?? A tach doesn't read mph/kph it reads engine rpm. Saying you saw "110 on the tach" makes you sound like you dont even know what a car IS. God you fucking suck

i realize that. sorry im a pint and half of whisky in. i did correct it kinda here though.
>736101792

im so bad at this

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