24, Alcoholic, addicted to opiates and cocaine, living in my dads basement, clinical depression and anxiety disorders...

24, Alcoholic, addicted to opiates and cocaine, living in my dads basement, clinical depression and anxiety disorders, unemployed, just an overall shitlord of a meat sack. AMA

How often do you think about killing yourself?

every once in a while my depression gets super low despite being on antidepressants. about a year ago i was pretty close to finishing off a bottle of booze before throwing myself off a highway overpass

bump with tits, im bored.

Why do you feel the need to seek validation on an anonymous board?
What compelled you to type all of that shit out, just for us to have a precursor to how much of a self loathing faggot you'd be in this shitty thread?
I don't want you to kill yourself, I want you to get over yourself. What you're experiencing isn't unique. Grow up

im not looking for pity, its 4am and i have insomnia. cant a nigga just be bored?

bump.

You're clearly looking for something.

Fuck off please

youre right, something to keep me busy at 4am. this time it was starting a Sup Forums AMA for me, for you being a condescending faggot on an anonymous board.

bump. too slow :/

inb4 404

Why do you choose to be a faggot?
Why do you believe your own lies so much so that you externalize it by developing and mastering these symptoms of that lie?

Why not seek help, dawg? That shit is fucked up, but it is to be human. It's your responsibility to change all of that. It's just a decision.

part of it is the anxiety issues, like i hate even calling to make doctors appointments to get medication refills n shit. and then it would probably devastate my family as ive somehow managed to keep this whole shitstorm mostly externally hidden. and i guess i just dont feel im important enough to put them through all that shit out of nowhere.

do you vape ?

thankfully, not THAT much of a shitlord

Bro, change is uncomfortable. Nothing is free. And externally hidden? Fuck what anyone else thinks?
I guess i'm coming off so sympathetic bc i've had addiction issues. Been clean from street drugs a couple years, alcohol 1 yr.

Which came first, the mental instability or the addiction?

You know one feeds off the other, right?

Already lost two friends to circumstances like yours. Since then I no longer complain and I took responsibility for myself regarding my own perceived shortcomings. (alcoholism, severe depression).

Seek help. If you don't then you can't really expect sympathy from anyone. I loved my friends, but they brought it upon themselves. I don't have sympathy for them.

i guess so, theres definitely a part of me that wants to get better but the depression and addictions just leave me without any motivation to do so, so its just a slow road of self destruction until i almost die or something to kick my own ass into gear.

mental instability through my teenage years. been drinking heavily, hard liquor, since about 15-16. painkillers a few years. cocaine about a year.

The fact that you're expressing consciousness of it, says that you don't have to ride all the way to shitville. If you decide not to.
I'm not discounting the mental aspect. But your mind still has ability to rule over emotions. Even if it means physically forcing yourself to pick up the phone or whatever.

and you aren't? get off ur high horse, ya cunt. what you are after is clearly more pathetic

Okay.

But you know that only you can help yourself (to get help), right?

If you really do want to change, then you will take action. But taking action does not always mean that you haven't reached the point of no return yet. You could merely be extending the death you are already undergoing.

Are you doomed user?

its to the point where my unemployment is barely paying my bills, im hoping within the next few weeks i can get a decent job that doesnt make me want to blow my brains out and use it as sort of a "first step" for turning my shit around. and its not like i cant do the work i guess, im one of your typical "high intelligence, mental issue, wasted potential" sob story.

health wise i dont know, i guess whenever i turn my shit around it depends on how much damage ive done to my liver and heart. not being fat due to my really high metabolism is probably the only thing thats kept me from having more serious medical issues

im 25 and im scared of nipples

Everybody experience depression and anxiety at one point of their lives. I had mild depression through college but good friends and self reflection helped. And sport.

You just have to fight it. This can be done by taking small steps.

The good thing is since you’re unemployed, you have some time to take care of you.

Do things that are good for you:

Exercising, for example walking the dog or just going on a wander around your neighborhood with some music or podcast, and when your physical condition has improved you can take on another sport like team sport or whatever in order to socialize and make exercising more fun.

Eating healthy : cooking meals for yourself (and your dad too he might appreciate it) with mainly veggies (half of the meal) and the rest is 1/4 carbs 1/4 meat / fish . Tons of stuff online to find the inspiration.

Doing something you like : it can be anything. Gardening, rc planes / drones whatever, music, woodworking, you name it. Practicing and honing your skill will make you better at it week by week and it is something you can take pride in, hence it will be really good for your depression since it is an tangible proof that you are not useless, and you can even help out people with it. Or make money from it.

On the same level you can volunteer somewhere. Helping people improve self esteem and is actually well regarder by society and a good addition to your CV.

Once you’ve improved your life for a few months like this, plan your future. How are you going to transform your points of interest in a job ? It is crucial to not work in a field that you have no interest in whatsoever. Take your time to choose. But do not be afraid of trying loads of stuff (I’ve personnally done like 10 jobs in my life and I am 26).

That "first step" of yours is not going to work. You, with all due respect, have already proven that you are unreliable towards yourself. Unless that job takes over your entire life and privacy (something like the army), you will merely revert to old habits.

You do not possess the ability at this stage to change things by yourself. You need external structure and intervention.

My opinion anyway.

>Cont


Try to improve your social life : you can ask your dad if you can do something with him / or to help him. Just reconnecting with your family will help you with your social skills to make new friends after. If you are worried about being weird or whatever, just remember : be polite, ask questions to people about themselves ans show interest in it, everybody loves it.

And do not forget : there is help outside. You just have to ask for it. Fuck shyness. Fuck what people think. You only live once, it would be a waste of time to spend your life waiting for something that will never happen. Just go out and get a good grip on your life, not because you need to, but because you deserve a better life.

i have Derealization, autism, anxiety, depression, body dysmorphic disorder,and i'm antisocial, shy, suicidal,with no talent no hobby, no interest,ugly face, small dick, manlet.. but my mom says i'm a 5/10, just to be kind.. now i'm here and begging for attention..

28. Addicted to oxy and codeine. The jous of life have been stripped away and all that remains is a constant lust for chemicals. Dont ama

This is good advice, however I fear that user's addictions may have taken away the viability of your advice to motivate him. Maybe if only he suffered from the depression alone. But as creatures of habit, humans tend to lose their independence and empowerment upon choosing to rely on chemical aids.

Honestly, I'd say getting clean sounds more a priority, and it would probably make the other aspects clearer to sort out. (side note: most rehabs n shit will push 12 steps. They say they're the only way. They're not. If they don't help you, don't feed into their dogma that you'll die in a gutter or something. But who knows, the 12 steps might be for you.)
Anyway, I gotta get up in a few hours. I can't make the decision for you, but hopefully I gave some perspective. Idk.

im hoping the structure and schedule of the job would help a lot more than having nothing to look forward to each day and not having money to do anything. the income would help me finish paying off my bills, moving out into my own place, and fund habbies, activities to help keep my mind in the right places. id rather have the tiniest bit of optimism for that

This reminds me how helpful guitar has been for me when changing lifestyle. As like a point of focus on dark times.

I hear you mate. I am over cynical in general. And you may very well possess the power to do as you suggest may be an option.

But at least be honest with yourself. If you can do it, then do it. If you can't, then seek help, Either way, there is no use to complain to to seek help on online, unless it is of practical matters e.g. "How do I reduce my aclohol intake?"

i mean like i said earlier, im not really here to seek help, granted positive input is welcome, i just cant sleep and wanted something to keep me busy after i snorted the my last half of a hydro

might attempt to sleep now, hopefully wont waste my day. thanks for the last hour or so of interaction.

how do you pay for your drugs and alcohol