What the fuck did i just watch? no seriously, what the fuck?
i dont know where to start with this monstrosity of a flick. if it wasn't for the obvious faces and lightsabers it would just be the usual high budget flick with the thinking that fancy effects and explosions will make a 'movie' good. fucking wrong.
i couldnt tell if it was at the start, beginning or end due to the lack of structure and plot - infact im still struggling to see what the plot was? the whole thing dragged out to see some old fuck standing on the cliffs - greeeaat.
what really fucking me off was how they mocked the dark side to be a laughing stock. that pathetic joke making the clone troopers run away when kylo was throwing a tantrum. -kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME. the fucking dindu put up a good fight, they both have zero fucking knowledge in using one, let alone the force in general. what the fuck? how can anyone possible criticise the prequels with pieces of liberal shit like this one? there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'. the prequels had mace windu, anakin, obi wan, darth vader, darth maul, etc. what did this one have? the characters were fucking dull as fuck, im actually angry as im typing this i just cant get over what i just watched and i need to vent it somewhere.
trust disney to fuck up this bad. i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
sadly ticket sales determine the success of a film, and so people will feel obligated to think this flick was good but in reality it was tediously boring, which lacked a plot, characters with any redeeming qualities, and made the dark side a joke.
This movie wasn't great but it was at least comfy.
Daniel Collins
What the fuck did i just fuck? no seriously, what the fuck?
i dont know where to start with this monstrosity of a fuckk. if it wasn't for the obvious faces and dicks it would just be the usual high budget fuck with the thinking that fancy positions and explosions will make a 'fuck' good. fucking wrong.
i couldnt tell if it was at the start, beginning or end due to the lack of structure and plot - infact im still struggling to see what the plot was? the whole thing dragged out to see some old fuck standing on the cliffs - greeeaat.
>what really fucking me off was how they mocked the dark side to be a laughing stock. that pathetic joke making the clone troopers run away when kylo was throwing a tantrum.
was pretty funny desu. also stormtroopers aren't part of the "dark side". they have no alignment or importance to the force whatsoever.
>-kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME. the fucking dindu put up a good fight, they both have zero fucking knowledge in using one, let alone the force in general. what the fuck?
your recollection of the fight with finn and of kylo dying are both very wrong, but it is silly that rey was able to best kylo. that's a common complaint of the film and it is a valid one.
>how can anyone possible criticise the prequels with pieces of liberal shit like this one?
easily. the prequels are poorly-made films made by an ambitious retard and an army of yes men, while TFA is a well-made film that suffers from a lack of vision and a derivative script. im not sure what relevance injecting real world politics into this children's space movie is supposed to accomplish other than making you look juvenile.
>there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'. the prequels had mace windu, anakin, obi wan, darth vader, darth maul, etc. what did this one have?
anakin, mace, and darth maul are not likable characters. they are barely characters at all. in terms of character depth, finn and kylo ren are leagues ahead of all of them. obi wan is likable solely due to his actor and darth vader is in the entire prequel trilogy for less than a minute.
Jace Bell
>i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
right, i'm sure you wouldn't have complained if the empire was full of black women and asian men.
Josiah Smith
>i couldnt tell if it was at the start, beginning or end due to the lack of structure and plot Yeah JJ fucked this movie up with no first act.
The first act is Luke training Kylo at the Jedi temple. Kylo is shown Vader's helmet and over time Snoke begins to communicate thru the helmet to Kylo (this isnt an absolute fact but it is a fan theory which better explains how Snoke seduced Kylo).
Snole then orders Kylo to kill all of Luke's Jedi classmates as then Luke goes into hiding as then Kylo travels to meet Snoke and then they build the new Empire.
Meanwhile Han and Leia break up and of course Han goes back to smuggling - possibly due to feeling so depressed with what his son has become.
So yeah that is the first act which should have been in this movie but JJ was too busy trying to copy Episode 4 exactly.
Michael Brooks
>-kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME.
After being shot by a Wookie's super weapon and killing his father. Also, Rey did a lot of running away instead of fighting knowing that Kylo is a better swordsman than her.
William Morgan
>The first act is Luke training Kylo at the Jedi temple. Kylo is shown Vader's helmet and over time Snoke begins to communicate thru the helmet to Kylo (this isnt an absolute fact but it is a fan theory which better explains how Snoke seduced Kylo). >Snole then orders Kylo to kill all of Luke's Jedi classmates as then Luke goes into hiding as then Kylo travels to meet Snoke and then they build the new Empire. >Meanwhile Han and Leia break up and of course Han goes back to smuggling - possibly due to feeling so depressed with what his son has become.
Thank god you're not a writer or director of this film. That would've been terribad.
Adam Bailey
How much do they pay you to shill for Disney?
Xavier Gonzalez
The same amount they pay you to not have any counterarguments.
Anthony King
Yeah this film is so watered down. It feels incomplete.
It feels like so many scenes are missing
Levi Thomas
So you would rather prefer no first act at all?
That is not how I watch movies
Kayden Long
Rey is a boring soulless characters and the forced Black male - white female dynamic is a stale trope.
Henry Davis
If you read the novization it explains how she knew to fly the falcon (by practising on simulators) but of course JJ gives none of this information in the film and just makes her a sudden "no all".
Brandon Hill
At no point was there a romance angle depicted between Finn and Rey.
Henry Jenkins
Not yet,it's coming.
Daniel Davis
What the fuck did i just watch? no seriously, what the fuck?
i dont know where to start with this monstrosity of a flick. if it wasn't for the obvious faces and lightsabers it would just be the usual high budget flick with the thinking that fancy effects and explosions will make a 'movie' good. fucking wrong.
i couldnt tell if it was at the start, beginning or end due to the lack of structure and plot - infact im still struggling to see what the plot was? the whole thing dragged out to see some old fuck standing on the cliffs - greeeaat.
what really fucking me off was how they mocked the dark side to be a laughing stock. that pathetic joke making the clone troopers run away when kylo was throwing a tantrum. -kylo was meant to be the evil sith boss but actually got KILLED by a girl using a lightsaber for the FIRST FUCKING TIME. the fucking dindu put up a good fight, they both have zero fucking knowledge in using one, let alone the force in general. what the fuck? how can anyone possible criticise the prequels with pieces of liberal shit like this one? there were no characters in TFA with any presence, or something that made you think 'wow i like this guy'. the prequels had mace windu, anakin, obi wan, darth vader, darth maul, etc. what did this one have? the characters were fucking dull as fuck, im actually angry as im typing this i just cant get over what i just watched and i need to vent it somewhere.
trust disney to fuck up this bad. i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
sadly ticket sales determine the success of a film, and so people will feel obligated to think this flick was good but in reality it was tediously boring, which lacked a plot, characters with any redeeming qualities, and made the dark side a joke. .
Nathan Howard
PLOT TWIST!!!
Kylor is actually a good guy
Kayden Collins
>a first act that bogs down the action with boring exposition that actually undoes the reveal in the end
Literally George Lucas.
Brandon Reyes
the novelisation isn't some original work that is supposed to accompany the film. the film is made (or atleast the script is locked) and then the novelisation scrambles to fill the gaps in the film's shitty writing.
and even with the simulator training, it would make sense if she was fighting with the controls the whole way - struggling to keep the thing in the air. but then JJ couldn't have had his AWESOME michael bay shots of the falcon swooping and diving all over the shop, so any cinematic integrity was quickly sacrificed.
Blake Collins
>and even with the simulator training, it would make sense if she was fighting with the controls the whole way
The same way Luke was fighting the controls when he was flying towards the Death Star?
Oh wait.
Easton Hughes
Well I agree with you. It was objectively a campy cash grab, and with a franchise this big, experimentation will only be in the form of SJW casting, not nuanced plots.
It's better to be skeptical man. Strong blockbusters are simply going to be extremely hit-and-mostly-miss for the next few years, as always. Innovation always scares away the shekels.
Logan Kelly
It was ok.
Too safe, but ok.
Andrew Morgan
>The same way Luke was fighting the controls when he was flying towards the Death Star? In ANH it's explained that Luke was already one of the best pilots on Tatooine. Nice false equivalency though.
Logan Bell
That's the truth OP; but sadly it has been proven yesterday by a poll that this board is slighlty more than 50% nu-males plebs, so that's why you see so much threads praising that train wreck of a perfectly useless sjw reboot.
Its good to see people found my original rant so inspiring that theyve turned it into pasta. Im glad people agree with me, tfa is still fucking shit
Hudson Anderson
>In ANH it's explained that Luke was already one of the best pilots on Tatooine. >backwater dessert planet >best pilot
That's like saying you're the best pilot in Micronesia. Literally doesn't mean anything.
Carter Carter
polls in jan/february used to pull 600-700 votes
Hudson Nelson
At least, there is some hope for this board.
Joseph Barnes
With a Luke Skywalker Yoda falls in love.
To confess unable, gifted by a deus ex machina with the Jedi's phone number, the little green alien is. Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls him, and crush on him as well, is overjoyed to find out that he has.
But, the next day, when to Skywalker Yoda recounts the previous day's confessions, with a perplexed expression he only looks at him. After some investigation, the Jedi master finds out that the boy he called is the same boy he fell in love with not. In fact, he exists not in this universe at all. Luke's alternate universe counterpart, he is, fallen in love with the alien's own AU self, who has, blissfully unaware of his crush, who too is.
To give each other their darkest hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal, to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves most private secrets in order. Their respective loved ones while the two chase, to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of the FORCE drama ensues as they begin. Hmmmmmmmm.
the first order are blatantly meant to be Nazis just like the Empire was.
It's the least subtle shit in the world
Austin Rogers
...
Joseph Richardson
>In ANH it's explained that Luke was already one of the best pilots on Tatooine.
Who were his competitors? Jawas?
It's like being the top runner in the special Olympics.
Landon Brown
>i dont even need to mention (but i will anyway) the obvious racism with the dark side being all white, and the 'goodies' being a melting pot of spics, chinks, dindus, females etc. how can this racism even be allowed?
Like the first trilogy...?
Nathaniel Davis
The fact that his father was the best pilot in the galaxy also might have something to do with him being a good pilot.
Justin Campbell
I don't get this meme.
Asher Brooks
except that "new order" seems overpowered for some reason even if Sheev is now dead (fuck the audience for any explanation), AND the ot empire was slighlty less obvious about it
Grayson Jones
>just like the Empire was The Empire was based on the British Empire (from an American point of view of course, which is why they seem evil)
Also, having the stormtroopers basically Sieg Heil in ep7 went too far.
Jason Allen
>The fact that his father was the best pilot in the galaxy >implying we're not getting Rey Skywalker >if it's a guy it's fine but if it's a girl it becomes le mary sue
Alexander Jackson
>The Empire was based on the British Empire
We don't want to hear about your unsourced headcanon.
Landon Bell
>implying we're not getting Rey Skywalker I doubt that Kylo and Rey are siblings/cousins, surely Disney aren't THAT lazy
>if they do it it's lazy >if they don't do it, she's a Mary Sue
So you can't win either way, huh?
James Perez
Fair enough, but having a Sieg Heil in the movie was still stupid as hell
They could have just made her not become an expert pilot within 10 seconds of flying the Falcon for the first time. Crazy idea,right? The only way they can fix this without being lazy as hell is to make her a sith/imp pilot that got her mind wiped and dumped on Jakku.
Jackson Turner
>They could have just made her not become an expert pilot within 10 seconds of flying the Falcon for the first time.
Except she had backstory and experience as a pilot beforehand just like Luke being the "best pilot" in his backwater planet of jawas and speeders.
Nice try, tho.
Gabriel Jones
>but having a Sieg Heil in the movie was still stupid as hell
But having Stormtroopers is perfectly British, right?
Gabriel Evans
>The fact that his father was the best pilot in the galaxy
So you shifted goalposts from him being the best pilot in some podunk planet to somehow getting pilot DNA from Darth Vader?
Surely you jest.
Isaiah Garcia
Too bad in the original he was never actually "the best". He was just a shit talking kid.
Only a 5yrold would believe his boasts as legit criticisms and not the pissing contest that they actually are.
Rey on the other hand is magically perfect at piloting a custom ship. Because of reasons that can only be described as "it needed to happen". Even though a good writer could do so with it not.
Owen Gonzalez
>calling a flick """"""""liberal"""""""""
Opinion discarded.
Gavin Richardson
>Except she had backstory and experience as a pilot beforehand
No, no she didn't. Point out one instance where anybody other than her during the "DUR I FIXT THE SHIP" scene alludes to her having ANY expertise at all in the field of starships.
>inb4 being a grease monkey who fixes the shit means you're an expert pilot
Brandon Johnson
>Too bad in the original he was never actually "the best". >He was just a shit talking kid.
So both Rey and Luke were driven by the force and didn't actually have experience in piloting?
>Rey on the other hand is magically perfect at piloting a custom ship.
Like the way Luke was magically perfect at piloting an X-wing and destroying the Death Star? You're contradicting yourself now.
Leo Thomas
I've never really stopped being a fan of something but seriously, it was so bad I don't care anymore.
Adam Gonzalez
>No, no she didn't. Point out one instance where anybody other than her during the "DUR I FIXT THE SHIP"
Did you watch the movie? She was a mechanic who knew how compressors could ruin the hyperdrive and her piloting skills weren't any better or worse than Luke's was when he destroyed a Death Star.
If anything, Luke was more of a genius prodigy than you're framing her to be, yet somehow you're okay with Luke being one.
Brandon Lopez
>Too bad in the original he was never actually "the best".
The guy who destroyed the Death Star?
>Rey on the other hand is magically perfect at piloting a custom ship.
The girl who didn't destroy a Death Star or the Starkiller base and had to be rescued by his friends?
Who's the Mary Sue again? Luke, right?
Connor Roberts
It's canon that the X wings controls are similar to the T16 Skyhopper you rube
Levi Thomas
The worst part about the movie was how hard they shat on the prequels before it was released but then added nothing new to the lore or franchise. Not it mention the only merchandise they sold were Kylo Ren figures because no one wants the Rey, Finn, or new Stormtroopers figure. At least Clone troopers were cool.
Leo Torres
That's not how Mary Sue works, dipshit. Luke was said to have trained as a pilot and even tried to attend the pilot academy. He was good enough to fly with actual pilots. Rey didn't have any of that.
Dominic Wood
>If anything, Luke was more of a genius prodigy than you're framing her to be, yet somehow you're okay with Luke being one. Luke didn't magically learn how to saber duel or how to use mindtrick like Rey did
Oliver Evans
Yep, it was utter shit. But what did you expect, it's fucking nu Disney.
Matthew Hughes
wtf i hate tfa now
Jonathan Cruz
tfw when it's the best Star shit movie.
Levi Turner
TFA IS A WELL EXECUTED MOVIE AND YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING ABOUT IT LOREFANBOIS
Xavier Gutierrez
I went to see the movie at the cinema with 3 other people. We all thought it sucked. I was surprised to hear that other people I knew liked it. They seemed to be in the minority though.
If it wasn't star wars, no one would think of it as anything more than Transformer's tier.
Luke Bell
implying Starkiller base isn't genius writing
Jacob Bailey
>another death star
William Reyes
>eight months after release and people STILL don't understand the purpose of Starkiller Base
The nu-Empire builds a BIGGER and BETTERER version of the Death Star with no practical usage whatsoever because they're desperate to mimic the Empire and building unwieldy, overcompensating superweapons is what Star Wars villains do. The actual battle to destroy Starkiller base ends up being only a footnote in the climax, because the real power of Star Wars is in the characters, not the spaceship battles. Though normies may get their Star War, the true spirit of the series, characters you care about building relationships with each other to overcome evil, will always remain the central focus.
The Force Awakens is a movie about living up the legacy of those who came before, and JJ appears to deliver the expectations of the fans while cleverly subverting them at the same time. It's not a fucking coincidence that the big bad guy, who is at first a Vader clone in a mask, is actually an insecure piece of shit who struggles with the expectation to live up to Vader. TFA is as much of a commentary on the nature of Star Wars itself as it is a sequel to the OT. JJ is a fucking patrician as fuck director and most of you idiots just don't understand him, you all just assume he's some dipshit because his movies happen to make money.
Cameron King
>you see, ripping off the first movie is what JJ MEANT to do, so that makes it ok!
Chase Bell
TFA only rips off the original in the most superficial ways. It's a meme complaint for idiots who don't understand greater meaning or context
Brayden Martinez
So superficial! That is, if you ignore everything.
Eli Martin
>broad strokes plot development while ignoring characters and themes
Exactly what I said you're doing. Idiot.
Asher Robinson
It's not broad strokes at all, the movie is a remake of episode 4. I'm starting to think that you work for disney.
Jace Rodriguez
>I'll call him a shill that'll show em
Nicholas Carter
A New Hope can essentially be plotted out, detail by detail as the barebones film school tier "this is how you make a fantasy movie" set. The fact that a group of autists have only just noticed this and are now keen to say that anything and everything with vaguely similar structure is a "copy" of Star Wars doesn't actually make it so.
Even if this were actually objectively true, that TFA is a copy of ANH, plot is the lowest aspect of film and plotfags need to kill themselves.
Jason Sanders
>plot is the lowest aspect of film and plotfags need to kill themselves.
God I hate faggots like you. Even if we accept that nonsense as fact, the rest of the movie is poor as well.
Jackson Lee
We're explicitly told Luke had been training to be a fighter pilot so he could join the rebel army, which is why he knew how to fly an X-Wing.
Rey knows how to fly a damaged and half-working Millennium Falcon through a dangerous obstacle course that kills people in smaller and more agile ships with likely plenty more flying experience than her because reasons.
Julian Lewis
>The guy who destroyed the Death Star?
He flew down a straight path and shot at a target that was a size he previously established was capable of shooting.
Not to mention he couldn't have made that shot without the guys with him dying to keep him alive, and then getting bailed out at the last second by Han.
So Luke, someone with previously established piloting experience, makes an easy shot he's made several times before while flying down a straight path thanks to countless heroics by other people.
Rey is the greatest pilot ever seen in the series so far while without ever flying a ship before because.
Nathan Jenkins
>this image again
it's not even remotely accurate, you can cut it down by about half just be removing extraneous details that it gets wrong anyway.
Luke and Rey are not really anything alike, Luke wants to go have adventure because he feels isolated as a farmboy. Rey is a hermit who lives alone after being abandoned, her goal is moreso to locate her family out in the galaxy than Luke's love of adventure.
Rey and BB-8 never meet San Tekka, that entire sentence can be removed.
Rey doesn't receive the help of Han Solo in escaping from Jakku, she and Finn escape on their own. Likewise, "but not without the first order taking a few shots at the millenium falcon" is pointless filler to distract the reader from the comparative lack of substance here.
Han Solo isn't a mentor to Rey in the same way that Ben was a mentor for Luke.
Luke knew Ben for far longer than Rey knew Han Solo.
This stuff about Rey being related to Ren isn't canonically confirmed at all and is also grasping at straws even if it were true. The "surprise" familial reveal has nothing to do with Rey and everything to do with Han Solo and Kylo Ren. It's the reverse of the original trilogy, complete pottery.
Rey has little to no actual role in the destruction of the starkiller base, unlike Luke, who literally fires the killing shot on it, Rey is merely just a single member of the party that is sent to disable the shields. The climax of TFA for Rey is very much the character driven one between her and Ren and not anything like the pivotal moment where Luke remembers the words of Obi Wan.
Snoke is not secretly anything.
Rey does not go to Luke's planet to learn from him, she goes there to give him his lightsaber and to draw him back into galactic politics. Inevitably she will end up learning from him of course but the motivation is utterly different.
tl;dr kys
Chase Flores
>makes an easy shot he's made several times before
hahahahahaha
have you actually watched Star Wars? Jesus christ you people
Xavier Carter
>Rey doesn't receive the help of Han Solo in escaping from Jakku, she and Finn escape on their own By escape i think you mean 'fly han solo's ship into his space freighter and then get saved by him'
>Han Solo isn't a mentor to Rey in the same way that Ben was a mentor for Luke. She literally says she sees him as a father figure
God your post is so faggoty and wrong, I can't be bothered refuting all of it.
Grayson Davis
WHY IN THE FUCK DIDNT R2D2 FUCKING JUST TELL EVERYONE WHERE THE FUCK LUKE WAS AT THE GOD DAMN START!? ALL THIS TECHNOLOGY AND NO ONE CAN GET INFORMATION OUT OF A FUCKING MOVING COMPUTER!?
James Nguyen
that first sentence, top kek
Jaxson Hughes
>By escape i think you mean 'fly han solo's ship into his space freighter and then get saved by him'
Yeah, this sure is a thing that happens on Jakku, which is the point of that sentence comparing the broadstrokes of ANH to TFA.
>She literally says she sees him as a father figure
Is this meant to be a refutation? Father Figure =/= Mentor, though I can see that you clearly lacked both and maybe that's why you're so confused.
Rey is desperately searching for family, she has daddy issues. Han puts up with her so she projects all kinds of feelings that have never had an outlet onto him.
Meanwhile Ben is actually a teacher for Luke and is pivotal in Luke's final triumph over the Death Star at the end of the movie.
>God your post is so faggoty and wrong, I can't be bothered refuting all of it.
You can't refute any of it, good job with this classic Sup Forums tier deflection though, you sure showed us all wrong. Go back to Sup Forumseddit, this kind of substanceless shitposting isn't appreciated here.
Henry Collins
>Yeah, this sure is a thing that happens on Jakku It more or less does. Rey flies the Falcon (Han solo's ship) out of jakku and then flies into Han solo's space freighter, where he saves them from First Order bounty hunters.
>Han puts up with her so she projects all kinds of feelings that have never had an outlet onto him. After less than a day of them being together. What a great movie!
Andrew King
Kylo Ren's saber color will be yellow in VIII and white in IX signifying his return to the light.
Jeremiah Hall
>It more or less does. Rey flies the Falcon (Han solo's ship) out of jakku and then flies into Han solo's space freighter, where he saves them from First Order bounty hunters. >Okay, so I have to twist the facts a little but if you close both eyes and stick your fingers in your ears then this is EXACTLY the same as ANH!
kek
>After less than a day of them being together. What a great movie!
oh, I actually forgot you had autism and so can't comprehend the kind of emotional damage/stunting that Rey's situation would leave her with. This is exactly why plotfags need to be first in line when we open up the gaschambers again, they're all fixated on stupid things like "muh logic" and forget that humans aren't rational creatures.
Julian Watson
The new Star Trek movies are way better than Star Wars.
Gavin James
I can tell you say shite like this and then complain about anakin making irrational decisions.
Julian Thomas
>I have no other way to actually refute anything you're saying so I'll just post an assumption and try to strawman you and hope other "prequel kinoseurs" come back me up
For the record, the prequels were very flawed but Anakins actions in the plot were fine. The acting of them was atrocious, but since you're a plotfag we're only talking about plot here.
Listen, child, let me give you some advice. You've made a mistake here, it's an anonymous imageboard, you owe no duty of care to your posts or your ideas, if someone is being a meanie bo beanie and you need to retreat back to a safespace then you can do so and nobody will ever know!
Maybe if you were one of the big boy memers who've actually seen the films that you're talking about recently or at all then you could carry an argument about something less surface level. Unfortunately that's not you, you're just a pale imitation way out of his depth, a glib facsimile if you will.
Justin Cooper
Your trolling is very good my good sir.
*tips trilby*
Michael Ramirez
God some of you Sup Forumssters are fucking insufferable. Bitching about the movie not being whitewashed is just as bad as the other end of the spectrum. Plus, you should be happy cause half of the "white" people you're even complaining about were Jews, which aren't white.
