Vent -

Vent -

I'm a 32 year old virgin. I have a couple 'friends' whom I see several times a year at most. I have siblings, one has died, one was been drugged and raped, one has serious mental health issues and lives with homeless people a lot.

I have a job, I don't care for it but it pays well. I'm educated, and have taken care of my physical fitness all my life. I work hard to hold the fibers of my life together, and everything should be fine but it isn't. I've done everything right, I've payed my due with sweat and blood, but there is nowhere to go.

My job is meaningless and dead-end. I make enough money to support myself and even built up a solid savings. I will never own a house, because that needs orders of magnitude more money that I have. I could get one if I spend the next 15 years working hard endlessly day in, day out, and then I would have a house. I don't see the point.

There is no pleasure in life. There is nothing but the slow decay of anything that even resembles peace or stability. Things are bad, and they only get worse. There is no goal, there is no ambition, there is no end. There is just endless toil, pushing forward into blind nothingness.

Most people deal with it by creating artificial goals like money, or owning lots of shine things. That stuff seems kinda dumb to me. But then I can't find anything else in life with any value.

tl:dr - Life sucks. Smart people kill themselves.

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=l02yOySAFh4
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

you reap what you sow

I think Sup Forums makes it worse. Because I'm a pretty solid dude in pretty much every way. Then I see the fuckwits and retards posting shit here. Why do you people get to live?

this, clean yourself truly my boy

everyone kills themselves user just find something you like and let it kill you

... you realize the entire rant is about sowing hard and reaping nothing right? I think you may be confused.

not really, it sounds like you do what you hate and hate what you do, so you're full of hate and sadness

in which case you've really been sowing nothing OP, nothing but wasted time according to you. What do you want?

Smart people realize that there is no self which can be killed.
You say too much and identify with this and that.
When was the last time you sat outside and watch the clouds go by?
When was the last time you realized that all the goings on in this world are just a game.
It's not serious, serious is a game too.
So why kill yourself? Do you even know who you are?

When people bitch about their lives, or 'vent' the only thing that comes to my mind is: you are unhappy with the way things are going, change something then!

Don't go to the gym, go train rock climbing, or some group sport, get a dog, make yourself do something with your life, don't play videogames and jerk of to traps in your free time, of course you will be a pathetic loser and you don't want to be a pathetic loser. Do something with your life ffs, at least try!!

>>But then I can't find anything else in life with any value.

Saying I've been sowing nothing while working and breaking myself to move forward and gain some foothold in life is entirely off base.

You know what I want? I want 2 days where there isn't a life-threatening or critically damaging event that causes me further suffering. I want a moment where I can experience something that isn't tragic. I want ANYTHING GOOD. But that doesn't seem to exist.

youtube.com/watch?v=l02yOySAFh4

I do those things often. It feels like waiting to die.

The trouble is I've spent my life changing things to try and fix it, but there's always a fresh wave of hell. You say "do something" but I'm saying I HAVE BEEN DOING EVERYTHING I can.

To which my answer simply is:
You are already dead, why wait at all.

>. I will never own a house, because that needs orders of magnitude more money that I have. I
No. Go in the countryside, if you can afford to move your job. I'm working minimum wage (+saving account) and I'll be a owner in two years.

>There is no goal, there is no ambition, there is no end.

Becoming a home owner is my current goal. I also wish to improve in art and become good at vidya. Your goals are yours to fix.

>Smart people kill themselves.
Life is litterally all you have and smart people don't throw away their goods

if you live in my town, come visit me ;-)

Because suicide is a one-off. I can kill myself any time, but life is big and I want to believe there's something out there that doesn't just suck.

Dude, you've got to read Thus Spoke Zarathustra written by Friderich Nietzsche. It will help you. It helped me so i guess it's worth to give it a try. Papa bless and never give up your life.

Then go out and find it.
Isn't that what life is about?
Doesn't that give the whole drift it's meaning back?

just another way to deal with shit: keeping everything distant.

To what end? As raw investment, real-estate makes sense. But as an ambition, it's a costly lateral shift. I rent right now, which means I don't deal with maintenance or taxes or neighbors etc... Having a house is living to have a house. It's like making problems for yourself just so you have something to do in fixing them.

>I've done everything right
>is a loser whining on Sup Forums about how he has no ambition or hope
Hmm user I wonder what the contradiction is...

I think that's what got me into this mess in the first place. Keep things distant and you become isolated, giving you less resources to draw from and ultimately leaving you fenced in on a sterile piece of dirt.

Countryside solves the problem of neighbours, too.
But what works for me as a goal may not work for you, im aware but I've been dealing with what you've been through and I stepped out of it.

Giving up on women was the best decision I have ever made. You take a big huge step into the void, because past that point you realize your life will only have meaning for yourself, since you can't work it away for the sake of someone else. But once you set up your goals, decide what you really love and the man you truely want to be, this is the path to freedom and happiness.

Why do you feel you have to deal with anything?
When you keep a distance you're dealing with it by not dealing with it?
First of all I don't see the problem, second of all if there is any and this was your method, then expect the whole thing knocking down your door taking you hostage one day.

Every time I read Nietzche I get 1000x more depressed. I think I never make it to the "but meanlessness is okay because..." part.

I have looked into that way of thinking and it just makes everything meaningless. sure, it works, like every way of thinking starts to work if you just get really into it. but here is the thing: you are "open inside" you get everything, pain, pleasure, the wide range from shitty to awesome stuff. or you just don't give a shit but give it a nice buddhist label, then things just don't matter. but since we are humans things do matter, I even think things should matter. but if things matter, you can only decide in part how your life looks like because you have little control. OP for example maybe experienced some shit some other people did not have to deal with. but yah, bringing meaning into the world means you could be the lucky one and you can be as well the person that has bad luck, because that is how the world looks like if you give a shit. it would be unfair, if fairness would exist as a real thing, which it doesn't.

Don't change your life big time, change it a small little step at a time, do you waste your time on movies,games? Well start doing some sports, and don't be afraid to talk to people. Someone said, when was the last time you sat down on a bench and watched the clouda go by? Get a library membership, start reading books on the benches and go to a some kind of a book clubs. Not having social life is terrible, expose yourself to people, get someone you can go get a coffee or a beer with, at least once in a week.

Absolutely bullshit. Try again, bible boy.

Yeah, this guys is hitting the nail on the head. My mistake was caring about anything ever. The trade-off to being unfeeling is that you miss out on the good feels, but I don't get those anyway, so there's no loss.

The trick isn't to kill yourself, just kill your soul.

yawn
you have legs and enough money to buy plenty of supplies, sell everything you don't need and walk away from your whole life if you hate it so much

it's a big world with lots to see

you have to find many new things in life with value constantly, and the things that mean the most, revisit or hone, do what you want. You've been working fitness, do a fitness challenge, run a marathon, climb, fight, surf.

Way too many people chime in with this feelgood stuff, clearly without reading the details.

My problem isn't the standard 4chaner, I've done nothing now I'm sad. My problem is that I've been around the world (literally), I've talked with people from the jungles of India to rich british fucks who own their own islands. I'm out there actively searching and finding nothing. It's exhausting and I'm running out of steam to just keep blindly charging forward seeking some kind of enlightenment that doesn't apparently exist.

What makes you think things should matter?
What are we even saying here, to be very precise?

What is it that OP realy wants?
Does he need substance to feel comfortable?
Does he not have to feel comfortable to see the substance?
No one without the other.

Everything you give he interprets as meaningless and painful.

You can play with the word matter, get marter, or even maya.
What does it mean? It's in its sense completely meaningless and by that receives its meaning.

The real problem it seems is, that OP has been lured into spending his energy on what he believes he ought to have, but ultimately does not want.
So find your way out of it.
The trick is that as soon as you want out, you are already out and there is no other way.
When you in your mind continue to go in circles you will stay in circles.

How is this not just chasing distraction? It's not value, it's just doing stuff and running out the clock.

I get that the general idea is "do what you love", but when you love nothing or anything/everything that you love is destroyed it's hard to keep picking up the pieces and moving on especially when there's nothing to show for any of it but memories locked in my own mind to die with me.

nah, it is the other way around. I experienced some pretty bad shit compared to my friends lets say when I was younger. and of course it affected my life & personality deeply (in a bad way). but killing your soul means you can do suicide as well. how can you even justify not doing suicide when you already decided to live without a soul? so I think the only option that makes sense is getting rid of your limits as far as possible and try to get closer and closer to the thing you want to have in life or killing yourself when it does not work out or you lose the energy. which I think is already freedom in a way.

i see your mistake, you think there's something to find
the world doesn't have any meaning at all, it just exists. it's pretty cool if you choose to get in it and do what you want and enjoy it, and pretty awful if you get in your head and question it's existence too far.

it all just comes down to what releases dopamine fampai, just do whatever you enjoy and don't worry any farther than that

what is it that you want, anyways? all i want in life is a nice little home and enough money to keep me alive and entertained

so. what is is what you want OP? and common: the absence of tragic events - although it is a completely understandable point - can't be anything. there is more to your emptiness than just that.

OP here, no, I don't need substance to feel comfortable. I got into Zen kinda when I was young, and took to the idea of material things just being things early on, leaving me free of typical societal wants (cars, money, fame etc...) the problem is that then I find it easy to survive and get by, and the lack of challenge allows me to explore and question things, leading to those mind circles.

The problem is what other path is there? Running off to a monastery and meditating forever? Seems lateral to suicide. If you shut off your interest and desires in life, then what else is there but emptiness?

im saying try shit until something clicks, get addicted to something good

anhero?

You said you've done some stuff, but you also said you barely have no friends or family, job that is dull, but pays well to keep you going but not enough for a house, by that I didn't think you had enough money to travel the world and hang out with posh rich brits. From what you've written I got that you are a very lonely sad individual and that you need social life to boost you up. I'd hate to travel the world alone, but I'd fucking love it in a good company, I feel so excited to go on a road trip with a couple of friends this summer, I am looking forward to spend time with people I like, especially women, what about a partner, or are you asexual too?

I think what I want is what I'm trying to figure out. What is even worth wanting? When desire breeds fulfillment or worse the pain of loss, then is what I want even relevant?

I didn't make this thread to find an answer really, more to vent and see how others feel on the issue, since it's pretty much an issue all people have to face.

Op: Life sucks, fuck ambitions

There are more ways to experience the world than being rich.

Yeah, actually more human interact would probably cure my ills. Or at least provide distraction long enough that I forget them. But that has its own bucket of issues. ie: when you're a soggy blanket, you don't want to drag others down with you.

Without emptiness there would not be anything at all.
And so this is a vital part.
The work and the rest.
Night and day, life and death.

What other path is there?
What other path? There is no path, look around you, is there a path any where?
Asking that question is still going in circles my friend.

i mean if you feel such a strong attachment to the "desire is the cause of all suffering", start reading some Buddhist shit and hone your mind, the point of it all is to be content with the simple fact you're alive and to escape suffering by escaping desire

smoke some pot

Thanks user,I've just joined a club were we sit outside and jerk off to trap dogs,brb looks like the cops are here.

>>Look around you, is there a path any where?

Alright that was cheesy beyond cheesy. You're asking for a literal interaction with a metaphor, fuck you.

Secondly, work and rest. The WORK part is stress, pushing forward and exploring. Moving down a path. Without direction, there's no need to move and life would be nothing but rest, which is its own problem.

Given that I don't generally feel pleasure the directions are kind of arbitrary, so I wander randomly, picking a direction and going until I hit a dead end then trying something else. It's discouraging when you find out that all of life is dead ends and there is no cheese in the maze.

warming up my desktop vape already. But weed is temporary and delays the pain without getting rid of it.

If you really make enough to live comfortably and build savings the only thing stopping you from living your life is yourself. The main issue most people have is money. It's free to go out and meet people, join clubs, etc. It's realistic to go out to get drinks, take someone to a restaurant, etc. if you're not hand-to-mouth poor. You also say you take care of yourself and keep yourself physically fit which puts you above probably 70% of people that do nothing at all - which means most likely someone will find you attractive enough to talk to you or hang out with you (men or women). I suppose that's assuming you shower and brush your teeth. Anyways - I get the turmoil of normalcy, but once you reach a certain level in life (e.g. as far as professionally, emotionally, and financially) it's up to you to figure out what to do with it. There's no real answer to the last bit... that's what people spend their lives searching for. So you need to ask yourself where you're starting at and realize that feeling mundane and lost is normal.

I'm bi-racial, literally no one has ever found me attractive before. And I got a fucking six-pack. God I hate life.

lel from the perspective of someone who's life sucks.

>tl:dr - Life sucks. Smart people kill themselves.
and this is why western societies aren't breading

I think everyone's life sucks. It's just how much you notice that affects things.

Gay and Fake.
inject heroine until you die

Japan is western?

Also yes, there is a direct coloration to level of education and population reproduction control. 7.6 billion people on the planet, that's not a bad thing.

I don't know where you live, but I think this might be a problem of your location. If you're in a small town consider moving to a metro area. I see ugly and attractive people of all races paired together with someone in my area - very diverse here. As I said before most people can't make this change because of money, but if you're financially secure this is a move you can make. Maybe your first place to start is job searching in a better area? That will give you a short to long term goal to base your life around until you find your next step. Making these goals (i.e. I need to do this to get to this which will get me this) gives structure to peoples lives. It's important to do this.

I don't have the same impression. what makes you think that? you think you can even recognize happy people?

>Alright that was cheesy beyond cheesy. You're asking for a literal interaction with a metaphor, fuck you.
That was to demonstrate, that we are talking about something that happens solely in your head.
The world is not the problem, you are.

You say everything is meaningless, so what?
It causes you distress? Then can your goal not be to deal with this distress?
All you do is think of ways to deal with your distress which causes you more distress.
Already a thinking person can put 1 and 1 together and figure this out.
Already there is a way, there is a meaning and something that can be done.

Like I have said, if you continue to walk in circles in your head you will not come out.
And seeing that that is precisely what you have been doing this whole thread I will not spend a further minute writing anything.
Because if you go on like this I must assume that going on with this is what you realy want, and I got nothing to contribute there.

I can't leave tho, as I said my family is in bad shape, and I think if I were gone they'd pretty much all die. I change jobs every few years to try and shuffle things up, but it's the same shit different building. Again, just temporary distractions to try and push back the void.

I guess that's basically what life is tho. I just wish there was more.

That's why I'm here. Introduce new voices and arguments to break the circles. Although you seem quite keen on circling around a lot.

You create problems as examples and then solve them with pamphlet wisdom. The trouble is even if you're 100% correct, there is no satisfaction in it. Conceptually I should be fine with that, but realistically I'm not. I cannot simply be content by willing myself to be content with my discontent.

Well this thread is a big reason why I think that. 90% of people's advice is variations on 'stop thinking about it', which is realistically the right answer, but doesn't actually help with the problem.

No, I don't think I could recognize happy people. As near as I can tell, happiness is just forgetting how unhappy you are.

I would just say we all face different obstacles in the things we want to achieve but part of the game of life is working around the circumstances you're presented with to reach the position that you want to be in. I'll repeat what I said before about trying to idealize what it is you want from life (and really, just think of something you like and go with it - too many people philosophize about "what is best in life" when who cares but you) and make short and long term goals to reach that point. It gives you something to work towards and decreases the monotony of it all. That's all I got

so. u found an explanation why people are unhappy four yourself? (besides we can get ill and die). and btw I think your point is only valid if you are not a loser who will definitely experience life in a shitty way if you know what I mean.