So, my father died two days ago. I live with my brother, so I didn't find out when it happened. I found out about six hours ago. I've not really known how to handle my feelings on the matter. I'm not upset, because it's good that he's dead, but I'm not happy like I've always thought I'd be.
When I was younger, he did some pretty fucked up stuff to me. I mean, it was my fault... I never tried to stop it... Destroyed my self-worth, made me one of those self-loathing post-scene emo kids until I was 16. I thought I was better, but like, clearly I'm not.
With this news in my life, I just feel worthless. Like, I wasn't there. Like I feel bad that this asshole died. I don't know if I feel bad that I didn't help end him, or if I honestly feel bad that I didn't go see him...
My head's all fucked, and I mean, professional help is expensive. What do, Sup Forums?
Anyone wanna talk to me for a bit?