Bible readers

How often does Sup Forums read the Bible

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i got handed a free bible today

i read some

a lot of wisdom in the bible

it is certainly not meant to be taken literally

largely this this
even Jesus spoke in parables

If i wanted to read fairy tales at least i'd pick one decently written

I try to read from it every day. At least the prescribed passage from the gospels and a few Psalms. On my second read-through of the whole Bible I'm on 2 Maccabees.

I'm pretty terrible at keeping up with it, though.

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Not often enough

Everyday

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youtube.com/watch?v=htxOjJHB5-8

Sunday's

I read the Koran everyday

About 1~2 hours a day

The what? OH you mean the Arabian Pedophile hand book

>even Jesus spoke in parables

to fulfill scripture

Psalm 78:2

I will open my mouth with a parable; I will utter hidden things, things from of old--

Matthew 13:35

So was fulfilled what was spoken through the prophet: "I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden since the creation of the world."

Wouldn't even a literalist reading see that the word "like" shows how the speaker is just making a comparison?

Going to read it for the first time soon. What version should I go for? Thinking of pic related

I have learned to never underestimate a protestant or an atheist

Why I can manage to see through the tears it brings in my eyes

King James version

I've been listening to the bible via audiobooks, made me teary eyed a few times. Ah inspirational

Yes it is. The Bible pertains to the Hebrew people, the so called Negroes of the transatlantic slave trade and indigenous peoples of the Americas. Albeit, There is certainly a brilliant allegorical prose and secular knowledge to be acquired within it's pages.

I read the cover once.

I'm just a lowly deist, though, no subscription to anything organized. I guess you can call me an ally, I stand with Christians and detest Islam, clannish Judaism and leftism of all types, so know you have friends in places you don't normally anticipate.

Autism.

ESV no apocrypha.

Never

Is this totally randomly assigned? How fortuitous that the PRs and Dominicans get their own tribes but evidently the Barbadans and Trinidadians do not? And then "Mexicans" is all one thing?

Never. When I was in primary school some nun came into the school and taught christian-curious kids the word of God. She gave all of us a Bible. That was ages ago (I'm 30 now) and I still haven't even read the first page.

Posted from my phone so different id now but yeah pretty much that.

WE

WUZ

Never. Read it twice. Decided it was garbage Jesus fan fiction and decided to read something that wasn't' based off of Jew's.

Read it 3 times entirely. The new testament a few more times. As I hit adulthood it started making lot of sense.

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erryday, at least for a couple of minutes

1) New Jerusalem Bible with notes
2) NOAB with Apocrypha
3) Navarre Bible (if you're rich)

I don't waste time reading fiction.

>I don't waste time reading fiction.

I've never read the Bible before but I want to. I'm thinking about picking up the ESV, what do you guys think about it?

>In b4 it was written by the devil or someone tells me to get the KJV

I already downloaded the KJV for my Kindle but I want a "study" version of the Bible to help me understand it better.

I listened to the entire book of Judith recently.

>ultra-aggressive sand negro chad going after israel
>israel scared wat do
>recently widowed MILF steps forward says I'll sneak in with my legs wide
>chad falls for it but gets drunk
>yemenite ho saws off his head ISIS style and scurries back to her side
>chad's armies are pussies and they flee

Yeah maybe I can see why it was left out.

How do you know what is fiction and what is truth

Some of it was, some of it wasn't.

Are there actual demons in this world? Angels?
Yes to both, they've been depicted in carvings/ writings since before the time of Jesus.

Did Jesus literally rise up from the dead?
Yes, his body is gone, as will all of the Christian faithful when the rapture occurs.

Why would I read some ancient book written by poorly educated assholes who just wanted to trick even less educated peasants into giving them money so they didn't have to produce anything other than more bullshit?

Your average teenaged American with a smartphone is probably more educated than most if not all of the adult who contributed to writing the Bible.

>Christian accusing atheist for being jews
-Your g*d is jewish god
-Marry who cucked Joseph and lied in order to avoid stoning is a jew
-G*ds son is probably a half jew, given the roman legionaries bull that fucked Marry
-Saul "I see jesus in my dreams therefore I have more authority than apostles" is a jew.

Its judaic to the core, hating other jews does not change that fact. Islam also has a lot of judaic elements, doesn't make it less anti semitic.

tl;dr the writers were explicitly careful to say "now this takes a clever/wise/intuitive mind" before anything that's a metaphor.
ergo: 7 headed dragon with 10 horns
a new govt ruled by 7 with 10 subjects split between them. (think EU)

Oh aren't you the scholar!

I'm a multi-generational Atheist yet cannot escape the influence the Bible has had on our art, literature, philosophy, society, and culture in general. Good and bad. So discounting it wholesale is certainly disregarding arguably the most powerful group of books in Western civilization. (Consider also that the Koran would not exist were it not for the Bible.)

Know your enemy.

Xtians This board follows the Kekian faith.

I'm new to this too. I researched bible versions for a little bit and I consider the New Oxford Annotated Bible to be more suited for academic types than regular people.

I'm leaning towards getting the ESV myself. You should look it up on Amazon.

>your God is a Jewish god
>Jesus spent his entire life pissing off Jews
>literally exposed the kikery during his existence
>pharisees, the original kikes, wanted him dead from day 1
>Jesus got the kikes so mad they nailed him to a cross

your memes have no power here

TURKROACH RAUS

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Dubs! Praise KEK!

You are so so ignorant and overflowing with pubescence.

>>>I don't waste time reading fiction.
>reads posts on Sup Forums

How do you know Zeus isn't the god you should be worshiping? Or Buddha? Or Vishnu? Or any of the other thousands of deities created by man? I put my faith into science which Christianity likes to defy a lot.

Your faith is a faith in numbers, one of the evils God warned us about.

Numbers are a beautiful creation by God but become an idol when worshiped.

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You're going to accuse me of believing in other fiction just because I don't believe yours? That's fucking pathetic.

and mohammad pissed a lot of jews, doesn't change the fact the religion is heavily influenced by judaism.

Moreover in Christianity. Esspecially the religion of Jesus. Later on thansk to Saul (who is also jewish) the religion diverted itself from judaism a little bit but still.
tsk tsk tsk thats not very christian of you, the jewish god will take 10 good christian boy points from thee today

>Christianity likes to defy a lot

This is a meme spread by atheists. It's not based on reality.

Jesus was real
Zeus and Vishnu was not
Lest start with that

>Zionists love atheists

Dumber than a feminist.

kek turkroach, did you hurt your head while bowing to your cube?

>comparing reading a fictional book to interacting with other people on the internet

>Dumber than a feminist.
Father of Zionism Theodor Herzl was an Atheist idiot

10 good boy points to you too son Jesus is proud of you son. You called an atheist turk a roach! Surely you will enter into heaven of the jewish god

>The first female was created from the first male's ribs
>The Earth is 6000 years old
>The Earth is flat
>Someone being able to walk on water
>Someone being able to reattach someone's ear using "miracles"
>Someone collecting two of each animal to bring on a massive ark of which he built by himself
>Parting the Red Sea
>Sodom
>Tower of Babel

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Fairy tales

>atheist roach

I am surprised you are posting that roach, shouldn't you be beheaded by now? Or do you just keep it a secret from your fellow roaches?

>atheist turk
Cenk Uygur how you doing? Get kicked out of another plane recently?

>The common denominator among all Zionists is the claim to Eretz Israel as the national homeland of the Jews and as the legitimate focus for Jewish national self-determination.[20] It is based on historical ties and religious traditions linking the Jewish people to the Land of Israel.[21]
>The chosen people

Yeah, i'm sure atheists want jewish supremacy.

>people
>on Sup Forums

>My god is real, theirs isn't.
Every fucking religion says that you dumbfuck.

>>The common denominator among all Zionists is the claim to Eretz Israel as the national homeland of the Jews and as the legitimate focus for Jewish national self-determination.[20] It is based on historical ties and religious traditions linking the Jewish people to the Land of Israel.[21]
Does not refute my original post
Stupid Argentine nigger

All respectable historians and scholars including jewish academics agree Jesus was real dipshit unlike Zeus or Vishnu

If you're going to compare the Bible to Sup Forums then I'm pretty sure you're discrediting your own religion. Great going user.

>it is certainly not meant to be taken literally


What do you say to the people who think it's a Holy Book, the Word of God, and base their life around it?

Obviously they're all metaphors and parables, but the majority of people take the stories literally. Or at least, they cherry pick which parts are literal based on how they feel that day. Especially when it comes to Jesus being a necromancer, raising people from the dead, and himself, etc etc

Just like the streets of your country overflow with shit from your ignorant proto-humans.

Shit in the streets is a health hazard you stupid fuck. The one time I fucked an Indian girl was pretty alright though, she could deepthroat, had big tits, and let me cum in her.

India sucks mostly but some of the girls are alright.

It's Cenk Uygur

What dictates whether a historian is respectable? Is it if they acknowledge Jesus' existence? Also, we're not even talking about Jesus, we're talking about God himself. No one can prove God exists just like they can't prove Vishnu or Zeus exists. Just because you can prove a person exists doesn't credit a religion. It would be like if I wrote my own religion saying I was a miracle performer and it would be just as credible as Christianity simply because I existed. You can't prove Jesus was a divine miracle performer, hence why it is called faith in religion.

It does if you ever tried to imply that atheism would strenghten the zionist movement. Your retarded reply to appears to do so.

not even talking about religion, iam 40 years old and i found out that most things i have learned and read was not true. how do you know fiction from truth in general . historical speaking jesus existed did he do magic that is debateable.

>What dictates whether a historian is respectable? Is it if they acknowledge Jesus' existence?
Its like a scientist is only credible and respectable if he follows the scientific method.

>You can't prove Jesus was a divine miracle performer, hence why it is called faith in religion.
Not really arguing this, however its difficult because "proof" of a divine power will be considered valid by some while invalid by others.

AND the "proof" dilemma was addressed by Jesus
John 20:29:"Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

I've read it many many times. John is my favorite.

>>Someone being able to walk on water
>>Someone being able to reattach someone's ear using "miracles"

Are you posing that there can't be cheat codes in video games? That once you set up a world, you can't fuck with it?

>The first female was created from the first male's ribs
>The Earth is 6000 years old
>The Earth is flat

Poetry.

>Sodom

It existed.

>Someone collecting two of each animal to bring on a massive ark of which he built by himself

Probably just animals in his region which is now the Persian gulf.

>Parting the Red Sea

Reed Sea, Red is a mistranslation. "Walls" probably just meant impediments and not towering walls.

>Tower of Babel

Dumb pagans tried to do something impossible (with their tech) for a pointless monument in order to "make a name for themselves" and it ruined them. Whether it was alluding Egypt's ridiculously and often ruinously expensive works or something Babylon did doesn't matter. The moral is "Multiculturalism will be the doom of us all and some cultural isolation that prevents us from joining in on stupid endeavors is a good thing".

>>>>>>>>>>>>>Fairy tales

But your pornographic Japanese cartoons are super serious right?

Israel grants citizenship to Jews whether they believe in God or not hence enforcing the non religious aspect of Zionism,
The most religious Jews actively are against Zionism and the secular origins of the Israeli state
jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Zionism/Anti-Zionism.html

>John 20:29:"Jesus saith unto him, Thomas, because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.

One of the dumbest things i've ever read. He basically says that believing despite having no proof is good. That's a nice way to make people even more gullible. As expected from a religion with jewish ties.

More people to convert. There's of course a counterpart which is religious but anti-zionist. I've never said there wasn't.

>>Someone being able to reattach someone's ear using "miracles"
Or he simpy had duct tape.

>One of the dumbest things i've ever read.
Tell him that in Judgment day just for the lulz

>One of the dumbest things I've ever read. He basically says that believing despite having no proof is good.

He's referring to people who will come to believe in his resurrection without physically touching Jesus through other means: testimonials of the witnesses and other miracles.

You yourself must believe a tons of stuff you haven't personally seen because you trust others: scientists, journalists, historians, etc.

Denying religion because you don't like the sound of it makes no more sense than denying the holocaust happened.

Only when I was in basic training, because it was the only reading material I had.

All of your points do not even work in favor of your religion. You're saying half of the bullshit it spews is poetry and saying the other half is comparable to someone using cheats in a video game.
>But your pornographic Japanese cartoons are super serious right?
I don't worship Pokemon or Transformers though and don't believe them to be real.

>christ did all these things
>impossible things totally happened because this big book says so but it never happens under controlled circumstances because shrug.jpg
[corroborating evidence needed]

>other half is comparable to someone using cheats in a video game

Why wouldn't it be?

>Heavily influenced by judaism
Negatively, and you're strawmanning because I have you by your ugly brown balls. Christianity is not a Jewish religion, it came from the middle east, Israel, and the beginning individuals were Jewish, but it took the Roman Empire adopting the belief for it to take off truly.

Way more frequently these days. The tranny shit lately, among other things, has made me realize the end is near.

>reading the bible is now considered to be edgy and politically incorrect

What a time to be alive

>impossible things

Can you prove it's impossible?

>never happens under controlled circumstances

Like all of human history?

>this whole thread

My fedora has gone and tipped itself off my head

Yeah, every day, at least one passage.