Any tips on masturbating anally at home? I don't have dildos or lube and every time I use a bottle I bleed a bit...

any tips on masturbating anally at home? I don't have dildos or lube and every time I use a bottle I bleed a bit. any tips on maybe how to make a dildo that works and an alternative to lube

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=skCs78M2opM
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

fag

OP is a faggot

Tits or gtfo

Look in your fruit compartment of your fridge. Go old school and use vasolene

Get a fucking job and buy one faggot

pretty sure this is not a femanon .. want to see boitits user ?

I use the handle of a hair brush, with a latex glove over it to prevent shit handle.

Lint roller handle, put glove/condom over it to keep it clean. Lots of spit or coconut oil.

Easy three steps to anal made easy.
1.jack off and rub cum into ass as lube.
2. Ask male family member to fuck your ass
3. Enjoy your anal sex at home

Bump

Fuck me I litteraly did this a while ago, mine have like a seam though worried it would be sharp or somthing

handle of a comb worked for me, used hand salve

don't ever use a bottle. it really is dangerous. if you haven't got a dildo then use something like a carrot or a courgette or an unripe banana. Or even a sausage. However, make sure you put a condom on whatever it is first. M preference would be for a courgette if only because they are a bit bendy and should fit in your arse without too much trouble.

This,
just when you are shopping at the grocery store, pick out a nice cucumber, not too ripe banana, carrot, etc, etc. It's sorta nasty shopping for it knowing its going to be going up your ass, if you really wanted to you could tell the checkout chick that.

>Poop in a condom
>put poop condom in freezer
>?????
>profit

why do I have to put a condom on it?

Because one: you may want to reuse it and two: if it break in half up your ass you may or may not be that guy in the e.r. for anal blockagge

I used to take the handle off my plunger(plastic with grooves) and use that as a dildo when i fapped. It was amazing

>I bleed a bit
hemorrhoids?
and dude, buy lube. or coconut oil to use as lube. DO IT. lube is the most important thing about anal, douching/cleaning it before is the second most important thing. unless you're into some really funky shit.

A candle with some olive oil? :p

third most important thing, imho, make sure it's safe. in two regards: a) no one's gonna barge in on you, so you can relax for half an hour/ an hour / more if you need to and b) safe in terms of using a dildo substitute (you cheapskate!) e.g. it won't break in your arse (thin glass) or won't get stuck up htere, meaning long handle/sth that definitively won't fit in your arse.
as for what you can use, literally anything dildo-shaped. just think beforehand. make sure it won't hurt you, or get you into an embarassing situation. btw, don't use things that are too thin, either, nothing that can puncture your innards.

not understanding why you would bleed from a bottle unless you have hemmoroids or something? My first time i was a kid and took a "C" sized flash light with no lube and no blood

Anyways use some vaseline or olive oil if you dont have normal lube

Semi-cooked carrots with a condom on.

... but definitely invest in a soft toy.

Olive oil, or mineral oil; Baby oil.

Other vegetable oils can cause yeast infections.
You do NOT want yeast infection.

Olive oil is antiseptic, and mineral oil is non-organic.

At absolute worst -- take something thin, and apply a ton of layer of socks on it, soak that thing in hot water, and then roll a condom around it.

...

Just don't put solid objects up there.
Seriously.

Defintely invest in a toy and lube.
And wash it properly.
For fuck's sake.

Might be interesting if girls come around.
THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE TO WASH IT.

point four I want to make: use your fingers. unless you're a fatass who can't even wipe his ass properly, you should be able to "poke around" and find your prostate for max. pleasure. gloves amd coconut oil is all you need for your first anal experiences. canola oil will do in a pinch, but it is far from perfect, and kind of unerotic if you have to get a bottle of oil from the kitchen...

>Just don't put solid objects up there

>what is a solid glass dildo
come on. semi-cooked carrot? you really want him to go to the er to get something out of his but, don't you?

I tried this before and my foot slipped. I fell halfway down the shaft before I caught myself. Now I have a permanent colostomy and have to worry about a shit bag everywhere I go because it tore up my intestines.

fake news

i tried the plunger before though thinking it would be awesome because i could ride it... wasn't that awesome :/

>not lying down on the side with one leg bent
>picrelated

also a songrelated for keks.
youtube.com/watch?v=skCs78M2opM

Safety tips:

Your butt is likely only 6 inches deep, before the intestines curve out to the side.
Thus -- forceful insertion of a hard object beyond that distance will HURT, and may injure you.
Do NOT try to put something hard into your butt, that can cause damage if you slip, or otherwise go too hard.

...slipping is a real risk in the shower.

Tips for actually enjoying:
Lots of freaking alternative lubricant.
Using oils, apply to your butthole, and object.

Start penetration slowly.
It may hurt like a motherfucker if you push too fast. Steady and slow does it.
You'll get the thing in there, just be patient.

When fully penetrated, to the point whatever your stuff into there slips in and out easily enough, apply more oil, and explore the depth you can push it comfortably.

For maximum enjoyment:
Use even more alt-lube as you go:
It should slip easily as fuck.

When close to cumming, manipulate object in ass faster, and stop masturbating. Continue to manipulate object in ass, and masturbate if necessary to maintain a good vibe, while you're working on cumming.

Moderate successs:
It feels better than just jerking off.

Good success:
It feels great, and continues to feel great, in your butt, for longer than your orgasm.

Godly success:
You have an orgasm without cumming, and have the chance to orgasm again.

poit five neither I nor you've made that far: anal is different from just jerking it in terms that you can't force it, you'll need time, maybe getting used to. prostate orgasms feel like you've gotta pee, which is weird and I often stopped fapping sessions to avoid making a mess on the bed, or so I thought.
my point is: take your sweet time. set sail without the goal to orgasm. just do anal for yourself, then jerk off. you'll get there in time, don't put any form of pressure on yourself.

are there any specific questions left? or did the fags itt answer all of them?

>what is an Alaskan pipeline

And once again:

Don't use soap.

Use olive oil, coconut oil, or mineral oil; baby oil.

And use a lot.
Apply several times throughout.
You seriously don't want to walk around like a moron because you literally got a burn inside your butt from not having enough lube, and didn't feel the friction before you were done.

Also remember that what goes in, must come out:
You're going to pull the object out.
Make sure it doesn't have rough or jagged edges.

...I used some random roll-on deodorant once.
And the screw-on cork had a seriously jagged edge all around that I barely felt with my fingers, but that felt really painful on the inside.

protip razor handles are oddly shaped and feel interesting just cant be rough because they are normally ribbed and remove the razor head first and make sure theres enough flare that it wont slide in all the way

pro tip for the idiots that dont take direction well, USE THE HANDLE END