There is a fucking cricket in my room. I can't fucking sleep with this fucking cricket. What the fuck do I do

There is a fucking cricket in my room. I can't fucking sleep with this fucking cricket. What the fuck do I do.

Find the cricket

>Find cricket
>Smash the fuck out of it
>Dispose of dead cricket and its guts

kill the bug

set room on fire

*What the fuck do I do?

>find the cricket.

WowZeRS I NevR WoUld Hav3 ThOuGHT.

I fucking don't know where it is. I'm too tired to look

Get some ear plugs faggot.

Don't call me a faggot bitchtits. I need to be able to hear my alarm.

nice fucking quads. like I said, get some ear plugs or stuff toilet paper in your ears.

here's an idea based on your pic OP:
use a toilet paper roll against one of your ears and plug the other ear with your finger. This will help directionalize your hearing and you can pinpoint where in your room the cricket is.

you're fucked then.

>find cricket
>Find frying pan
>Put vegetable oil in frying pan
>Heat the oil to 350 degrees
>Prepare some batter
>dip cricket in the batter
>fry them until golden brown.
>Enjoy

...

You are fucked then, you either move your fucking ass to find it or you sleep elsewhere.
I hate those things.

Holy fuck they stopped. Holy shit they both stopped. I'm sleeping fuck this I'm out. Thanks for the advice

dubs and OP does this

You must get bug spray and gas him like the jewish scum he is

I got quads and I'm staying in bed

They will resume in a little while, but ok.

He will start chirping soon

fair enough

If they do I will find them. And I will kill them. And then I will piss on their guts and twitching legs like the rodents they are

RULES OF NATURE

-Or refer to this

If you have a CO2 fire extinguisher spay it into the room, the gas will stay close to the ground and kill the cricket. Vent the room before you go to sleep or you might not wake up.

That's a stupid but awesome way to kill the thing.

Yes, because most people keep a fire extinguisher in the house. Fucking autistic retard.

Well you could have one of those very small ones for domestic use.

People keep fire extinguishers inside retard

Never know. I actually have one but it's way out of expiration date

You should recharge that shit, it is useless otherwise.

Plausible.

Set it to vibrate and put it on or near yourself, bitch cakes.