Tell me your shoplifting stories, Sup Forums. I did it for the first time today...

Tell me your shoplifting stories, Sup Forums. I did it for the first time today. I stole a refrigerated deli meatloaf from my local Krogers which I am eating right now. I've had this before but it's never been so sweet.

>worked as loss prevention during Christmas time
>worked at a bougie macys in west Hollywood
>i never even thought of stealing anything
>first day after training boss tells me " you know people only take seasonal positions to steal during the holidays"
>wow really?
>"ya can you believe that?"
>Noo.
>for the next 5 weeks before they terminate my position, because the company is losing money
>i steal ties, belts, shoes, and underwear.
>tried to steal a whole suit but they didn't have my size
>stole speakers, a drone and that it

Pretty much just used to steal at my job at a grocery store. Helped even things out if management were being dicks. Worked nightfill and left half an hour early before everyone else (started half an hour earlier too) so I pretty much had a solid chance to just walk down an empty aisle on my way out and grab what I wanted.

>Tell me your shoplifting stories

Typing with one hand now, don't even think about it.

>shoplifting tiny toy car at age 15
>smuggle it out of store in my tiny stupid town
>success!
>play with car at home
>feel guilty af
>smuggle it back in
not a good shoplifter at all

ffw ten years
>shitfaced and tumbling around
>go to gas station for more drinks
>cashier walks away for a seconf
>steal Snickers
>pay drink and walk out
the best I could do so far

ITT: niggers

you can literally just walk into safeway and take whatever you want. not even joking, used to do it all the time. just dont use a cart.

t. soft beta male

I'm white as fuck, settle down.

>employees are stealing everything in the store
>the company is losing money

Hmmmm.

>be me
>be 14 or 15 cant remember
>go to 7/11 to buy some coke
>walk into store
>cashier instantly eyes me
>fuckingcreepy.jpeg
>cashier looks like she's about to have a fucking brain aneurysm
>decide to ruin her day and steal some stuff
>go over drink section of store
>cashier is still looking at me
>stillfuckingcreepy.jpeg
>grabs 2 liter coke
>run out of store
>livingonthedge.jpeg
>cashier starts chasing me
>she's fast
>holy fuck she's fast
>oh my lord and saviour jesus fucking christ she's fast
>cashier closes in on me
>i keep running
>she is a feet away from me now
>i smack her with Coke as a last resort to escape
>hits her in the head
>she collapses
>think she's passed out but checks to see if she's alive just in case
>touches her
>she wakes up and starts screaming in my face
>scared as fuck
>smacks her with coke once again
>leave her on the street
>go back to 7/11 and grabs a bunch of chocolate
>day after i hear that cashier got fired
>mfw

...

Over 30 Arizona Drinks from the Smith's(Kroger subsidiary) I worked at. Never got caught.

...

I want to fuck that dog

So true man. Back in high school my fiends and I use to fill up a basket of beer and the walk out the front door like nothing happened. The key is to do it when the store isn't busy

Heh, clerks aren't supposed to give chase or even leave the store when a crime has been committed.
t.Dante

...

I've stolen plenty including a 300+ dollar drone, alcohol, plenty of computer parts etc, but what I'm proudest of is everytime I go to my local grocery store, I put a whole package of smoked salmon under the back of my shirt and tucked in to my pants. The fish is about 2 and a half feet long by half a foot, so it's the 2nd largest thing Ihe stolen, but I think my method is great. I check out with my normal biweekly groceries but enjoy this 35 dollar smoked salmon very time I go. I've stolen this religiously for over a year so maybe about 50 or 60 times.

...

first time stealing CDs in HMV my mate put the security tags in his pocket after peeling them off. Luckily I noticed before he left the store.

>it was a cold day, snowy
>got into a fight on the street
>was really tired
>went to a local shop
>i was the Only person there, the cashier started talking shit
>literally worst day ever
>i crouched
>than i did it
>stole a sweetroll

kek

>be 19
>new years is coming close and I was poor
>all my friends are going to go out drinking over the weekend
>be living just besides a Lidl
>go in and buy some food
>when I'm leaving I see the lorry outside around the corner
>it's open and full of stuff
>see a case of Lidls cheap vodka
>see beer and whisky
>fuck
>no one is around for some reason, the loading bay door is closed
>a thousand butterflies in my stomach, climb up fast as hell
>grab a case of vodka, and fill my backpack with beers
>get out and run around the corner and then slowly walk home
Somehow I got away with it. Had a great weekend and New Years was spent drunk as fuck.

That's the online save way to do it, guards might try to stop you screaming but they can't touch you. Just walk away without giving a fuck.
BUT imho in fascist countries as Uk and Us the risk of being filmed and persecuted is higher than the benefit.
Be creative, think about more profitable small crimes.

>used to steal clothes
>change out old shoes for new ones
>me and 2 others stole a bunch of spray paint from hobby lobby and used it spray paint our town

Hmmm, something smells fishy about user's story............

I used to go the local pharmacy and still bottles of lube. They had the single person restrooms, and I would go in there and use the whole bottle to fap with.

>>change out old shoes for new ones
THIS.
There was a huge shoe shop in my town when I was in university and almost no security at all.
Only the "expensive" shelves and the register had cameras.
Literally walk in, find a pair of shoes you like, swap them with your old and worn pair then walk out.

Sometimes I still want to do it, cause fucking good shoes are expensive...

Not the same user but I still do that like twice a year.
The pro-tip is to get a pair that looks somewhat like the shoes you walked in with.
You never know who might react if you enter with red shoes and exit with a pair of yellow.
I always have black/dark shoes, easier that way.

naw it's cas no one shops there anymore

i understood that kek. but seriously Bethesda i don't want to buy skyrim any more stop advertising it.

Work at Amazon fulfillment center. Print my own labels and have items shipped to random addresses. Pick up packages on way home.

>Work at Amazon fulfillment center
You should start an AMA thread.

ya start one link2it

>go to a preppy international school in australia
>bake sale to raise money for charity organizations
>offer to run said bake sale, have a shift during lunch hour
>hide 3 cases of coke under the table
>take all three to my locker, take them home one by one later
>feels good
>decide to steal the money from the money bag (used to collect money from the sales)
>convince myself stealing from rich kids isn't bad (I was poor and got in via scholarship)
>do this for every bake sale that comes up.
>slither my way into student council
>advocate more bale sales for me to steal cash from
>president of council is my good friend and has no suspicions
>my entire steam account is made from stolen bake sale money
>I graduate and don't play half of those games