I'm a 75 year old christian. I've learned a lot in my years and I want to share my wisdom. Ask me anything

I'm a 75 year old christian. I've learned a lot in my years and I want to share my wisdom. Ask me anything.

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R u gay

Are human sacrifices more effective than prayers?

So, let me ask you a bit of a question:
Do you believe in magic?

if jerk to trap porn without knowing it was trap porn am i still gay?

In my experience incest is only punishable by curses, not eternal damnation.

You are only gay If you act on these urges. But Jesus loves gays so don't worry.

I believe in miracles, my friend

How can I hold my farts for longer?

phew, thought i was a gonnner, praise jesus and heil hitler

Thou shall not murder. But if you do, doing it in the Lords name would be wise.

No. I have a lovely wife of 52 years.

How do you reconcile the fact that your religious espouses slavery?

whats your favourite bible passage

Try sticking a finger in your rectum.

Deut. 25:11. I made sure Mary Sue and my girls knew this one by heart.

>myniggajesusandhishoes.jpg
>75 year old christian
What kind of 75 year old Christian has filenames like that, or knows about Sup Forums? I smell shenanigans. Baloney-scented shenanigans

Impossible given your typing style. 75-year-olds literally type like this:
>I'M A 75 YEAR OLD CGRISTIAN AND I'VE LEARNED MUCH IN MY YEARS AND SO I MUST SHARE WITH YOU MY WISDOM !
All caps.
Run-on sentence.
Space between final word of sentence and closing punctuation.
Bonus: put "GOD BLESS" at the end of everything.

I don't. There is no need to reconcile because anyone it affected is long gone or has no need for reconciliation.

My friend. I assume you think every old man isn't hip and cool. In my day I had "hoes" and "niggas". I use those words daily to remind myself that I'm am not perfect and never will be. p.s. I've got a sick dab "fam"

Mary Sue, you say?

But your holy book describes how to treat your slaves as if there's nothing immoral about owning people.

...

Very funny my friend. While most elderly people have this experience with technology I am blessed with many daughters and grand daughters and sons and grandsons that keep me up to date and let me know about all the new trends. I even have a snapchat.

What are your thoughts on this?

Ah, The ol' rapping for jesus. This is one of me and Mary Sue's favorite memes. I'm glad you know it too. It really gets the message across without being to crude or lewd like most rap music is.

Do you believe that the Earth is flat?

Thank you wise one.

While this is what some people call blasphemy I call it good and fun. Speculation is good because it leads to answers. However this acts as if the bible is the only proof of gods existence. It is not.

Care to give some proof then? (also the bible really doesn't prove anything)

I believe it is irrelevant. God made the earth perfect so I'm not worried about the shape of it. (But it is flat.)

Kek

The proof is in the miracles My friend. And the biggest miracle of all. The Human Brain.

Were the Egyptians really black niggers? You know, kangz and sheeeit?

I do not believe the egyptians were "black niggers". They were very hard working people.

Is there anything immoral about owning people?

Do you believe in evolution?

I'm perpetually single, and people tell me that I should go to church in order to meet women. However, I don't believe in Christianity, the bible or god (I'm agnostic), so wouldn't that basically be insincere and disrespectful of me to attend solely for the purpose of meeting women?

Is George Soros the antichrist?

Church is just a building my friend. Do what you want in that building. I ask you however to not harass anyone.

Yep

As far as I know, No.

Thread kinda dying. I'm going to church soon. Get your wisdom while you can.

1) Why do you wear and venerate a piece of wood used as an instrument of torture and execution?
2) Did you know God ordered Jesus to suffer for all of humanity? What did the good jew do to deserve such a fate? How can you respect god after what he did to his own son?

3) What is Christianity's connections to the Aryans? Wikipedia says they were in India, Hitler said they were white Europeans. Which one is true?

When you try to hold it in, think on your nipples and breathe up.

1.Because it is a reminder of the sacrifice Jesus gave up because he loved you and me and everyone.
2.Jesus was a necessary sacrifice to prove love.
3. I would have to research more to give a correct answer.

>Necessary sacrifice
>to prove love

If a human did that in modern day to someone, the whole world would be screaming for his blood. Why is it OK when god does it?

Also,
>"Dad, please, it hurts! I'll do anything else, please make this pain stop!"
>"Nah. I know you are innocent, but the remaining million scumbags are not, and the remaining BILLIONS coming in the future are not. So you will have to suffer for all of them, even though you really did nothing wrong."
>Loves everyone
>Orders his own son to die
>Because of crimes people not even born will do

Your lord has fantastic logic

Why do you only shave your left goose egg?

God didn't kill his son. Jesus still lives at the right hand of the father.

Because it's the only one Mary Sue sucks.

If Jesus was real and he came back wouldn't"Christians" be among the first ones he starts getting rid of? His name has been bastardized by Christians, merciless acts of inhumane attrocities have been carried out in his name by Christians in a "Christian" nation, and even the day which celebrates his birthday is actually the birthday of another god whom God emplored his people not to worship (not to mention Jesus was most likely black or some other form of brown skin). What makes Christians feel safe when in actuality they represent almost everything Jesus stood against?

I never said he did. God didn't shock Jesus with a lightning bolt, nor did he send a giant fish to eat him up.
No, all God did was "Hey son, I know something fun for you to do! Go get nailed to a cross for all the shit that billions of people are going to do!"
What annoys me even further is that if a human used this thought process, then he his labelled and arrested. I can't kill a young child saying "You'll kill a lot of people in the future so better die now" But god can do it? To his innocent son, no less?

Defend this hypocrisy

Christians feel safe because Jesus isn't god. He has only the power god gave him. This is often confusing. If Jesus tried to kill the humans he would be cast down to hell like lucifer. A lot of people say jesus is god. This is false, god said there shall be no god but him. We haveglorified jesus so much though.This is why drawing the prophet muhammad is looked down upon, because it glorifies muhammad not Allah.

Do u like from behind?

Are you Adventist? Am i

I'll take the bait. As an old man, no offense, what was your own personal downfall? You can tell us young people everything, but they have to want to listen.

So I ask, what secrets do you wish god never knew about?

My friend, this is not hypocrisy but confirmation of what I told you. Jesus was a sacrifice. A sacrifice for all sins. He willingly sacrificed himself in order to save humanity.

I don't. But Mary Sue sure does.

Let me spell it out for you- GOD ORDERED HIS INNOCENT SON TO DIE
Also, fun fact-Jesus didn't willingly sacrifice himself. He actually begged god for another way out because of the pain. God simply let an innocent man suffer because blind religious shits like you will defend him.

What do you regret the most?

I became attached to Mary Sue and spent a majority of my teen years lusting after her instead of following gods plan for me. I also still struggle with my habit of consuming alcohol to this day. I wish I could stop, but I don't want too. The secrets I wish god didn't know about? My affair I had. I still regret to this day.

My affair. A situation I will never be proud of and will always regret.

How the fuck do magnets work?

“Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from Me. Yet I want Your will to be done, not Mine.” - Luke 22:42 NLT Jesus wanted to die and willingly did so.

That really didn't answer my question but your answer led to another question. If Jesus isn't God but people worship him that way anyway, doesn't that mean they've turned him into an idol and by wearing crosses and other materials they are actively participating in idol worship and try to encourage others to idol worship as they do?

youtube.com/watch?v=hFAOXdXZ5TM That should help you.

Did you get caught?

What's the purpose of life?

Kind of not really. We do not worship Jesus but pray to him and thank him be cause "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Jesus is the telephone we use to call PizzaHut (god) to get Pizza (heaven)

To live and love. Do these things and you will be happy.

>Dad, please make this pain stop
>In spite of all the torture you are putting me through, I still love you and want to do what you say

Yeah, I think I hate god even more now.
Poor Jesus really did do nothing and I feel really sorry for him. But I'll never bow down to god for obvious reasons.
You had your fair chance. Sorry pal, but your wisdom really seems like hypocrisy.

Yes I did. Mary Sue was very understanding of the situation and she forgave me the instant I told her.

You gave an honest answer and I respect that. I'm guessing marry sue is morphine sulfate? You know you were forgiven a while ago, right?

I get the idea you carry more than an adultery kind of affair...in any case, Why did you do it? Was it money, lust of pussy, the idea things were better? I'm actually interested in an old mans story.

My friend, I'm sorry you feel that way. But could could you please tell me when Jesus asked for the pain to stop?

Cool,does that mean life without love is not worth living?

Have you ever tried DMT? if not why?

If adam and eve where the first ones on earth...
Why do they Have bellybuttom..??

From your own excerpt,
>Father, if You are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from Me
>Father
>if
>you
>are
>willing
>please
>take
>this
>cup
>of
>suffering
>away
>from
>me

There.

If Satan is so good at deceiving people, how do you know Christianity isn't just another deception?

Mary Sue is my wife. I have known her ever since we were 13. I saw her and instantly fell in love. But she was the new girl and was snatched up very quick by someone braver than me. I however didn't move on and stayed in my home town just to be close to Mary Sue until she got married. Then I left and never looked back. We met again some years later while I was visiting my folks and god led us to be married and have a wonderful life. In those years I lusted after Mary Sue I didn't talk to God much. Instead I talked to a bottle. And my relationship with alchohol begun. Want to know more?

you judge someone on their work(s) not words.

But praying to something is worship. You don't pray to something unless there is some form of worship and the prayer in and of itself is worship. Also why put faith in a book that has been rewritten at least 13 Times?

Precisely. But not only love for others but love for yourself. Preferably both but one is enough.

Becuase they were created in the image of God and god has a belly button

I have not and don't plan on it.

Sure....what held you back? What made you find god? I guess I want to hear the full story without having to pick for details. did you ever "feel" her...somehow in the back of your mind?

I thought Sup Forums was my safe place from the religious bullies?

Not rewritten, translated. We pray to Jesus so he will contact the Father. That's the only way to contact God.

My friend, I am not a bully. I simply want you to see my point of view. I won't force you to see my pov though. That's the difference.

How would you define success in life?

When things are intentionally left out and intentionally added to it, that makes it a rewrite not a translation. Then the translations are not accurate either. Are you aware Lucifer simply means morning star and is not the actual name of the "devil"?

My lust and drunkedness held me back the most. I was an insufferable bastard. But when I went to college when Mary Sue got Married I had a roomate that opened my eyes to the lords love.....And Marijuana. We had long talks about religion and it really made me understand it. I always planned on marrying Mary Sue, but I just didn't know when it would happen. I always thought of her but I didn't want to break up her marriage.

Jesus is the way.

Get the fuck off Sup Forums. You don't belong here. Go to Sup Forums with the rest off the degenerates.

Samma'el or Hala'el, both meaning "bringing the Light of God", Lucifer is the Latinization of the Hebrew name. Things are only left out if they are duplicate verses.

Can I use yours?

Amen brother.

I'm afraid you can't. I'm loyal to Mary Sue and that ain't changing any time soon.

I see...I guess the question is....do you think anything would have worked out before? I have a situation in life kinda close to yours. I highly doubt I'm ever talk with her again on civil terms tho.

My friend, Context matters as the great Pewdiepie taught me. Jesus is under no pain at that moment so he is not asking for pain to stop.