How long do I have to microwave a cat of about 1 years old for it to not die, but seriously fuck it up?

How long do I have to microwave a cat of about 1 years old for it to not die, but seriously fuck it up?

I befriended this local cat, but my suspicions were confirmed that it is indeed a 'slutty' cat. Fuck this cat, I gave it my last chicken and mushroom pasty slice.

What other none lethal (kek) ways can I fuck this cat up? I force fed it Tobasco sauce 3 days back and it just coughed loads, chilled at the back of the room meowing, generally just dealing with the burning pain in quite a manly way if I do say so myself.


I was thinking of feeding it some ghost chilli peppers, or if thats a bit extreme just duct-taping its mouth and paws together and swinging it to highs glory. Yes im fucked up in the head.
Also, animal gore thread.

Sage in all fields

bump

mods

ITT: newfag acting edgy
>non lethal (kek)
>im fucked in the head

I've not browsed Sup Forums in 3 years and you are part of the problem you fucking "im not a new fag u r" elitist.


Can someone tell me some of their animal abuse stories?

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I will find you op

You really dont know what edgy is do you?

Im being serious, I want to harm this cat once so it leaves me the fuck alone.


You both are probably new fags trying to out do one another by saying "ur a new fag" "ur edgy". face it Sup Forums is shit and has been for 7 years, so someone answer my fucking question or provide stories?

your a liar

mate that is some fucked up thoughts

very edgy! your so cool bro

Anons are cool with rekt threads but talk about abusing a dog or cat and suddenly they turn on you. lol

Get syringe and fill it with Tabasco
Shove in his ass and squirt it empty it in its asshole in one quick push.
Post videos when doing it.
Be sure to tie it up properly.

Do you honestly believe you're cool for doing and saying shit like this? Absolute virgin.

I did actually attempt to put tobasco sauce on its arsehole, not inside it. It just wriggled loads so I had to pin it down properly, and just dapped it loads on its anus opening. Nothing.

What can I feed it that will make it very ill eventually?

try putting it outside and not feeding it you moron

>'slutty' cat

OP.. Did you think the cat was gonna let you fuck it for food? Cause that's what it sounds like.

Leave thread, go in other thread. Youtube Spongebob memes.

sick burn bro

Choke on nigger dicks, virgin faggot.

OP, please don't. Human gore threads are fine, but please don't hurt the animals. I know I sound like such a pussy, but the cat hasn't done anything to you.

Microwave is probably going to kill it or cause it to die.

If you're just going to some of the ole' slutty conversion therapy, just chop its balls if off if its a dude, or put super glue in its vag if a cumdumpster cat.

No, I just thought it was super affectionate with me just for companionship. Turns out it only wants my heating and free food and belly sritches.

Tonight I did swing it by its tail for around 150 degree's, started from the ground then full arm height. It sounded like it landed badly but couldnt see at I threw it over the hedges and it was night time.


How many times do I have to swing it by its tail to potentially maim or paralyze it somehow? so I can laugh my fucking arse off every time I see it limping around like a retard?

(you)

Not the same but k.

How about you kill yourself OP?
That'll sure show that 10 pound animal who's boss

post proof or get out

I remember being an edgy 16 year old. It's okay kid, the angst will pass.

Its night time here (UK) but I'll pop my head out the window and meow a lil

This is the funniest thing ive read today lmao

Livestream it. 15 seconds should be enough, it'll cook the brain.

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This meme would have gone from a 8/10 to a 11/10 If all they did was fix the license plate to be "BK2RED"

No I just like animal abuse and human some times. Who doesnt? (thats an open question, your opportunity to show all the other anonymous people how morally good you are, shh quick, reply)

You should use Sriacha sauce, since it has a nozzle, thus, making it easier to squirt its contents inside of your cat's anus.

No man he is super serial! This is why his mother should have had an abortion

You'll need a second cat for this one.

Get your cat nice and relaxed in your lap and tie a string securely around its tail. Tie other end of string to a 3 foot long stick or baseball bat, tennis racket, whatever.

Repeat with second cat.

Then hoist them up in the air by their tails. This drives them insane. Get them close together so they cant get away from each other and watch them rip each other to shreds.

For extra fun have a buddy hold the other cat and they can be your gladiators. You can bet on them and stuff.

>Sriacha sauce


Can someone post some links to videos of animals digesting spicey shit unaware, or having spicey sauces inserted into their rectum please?

You sure sound like you have a good mindset and a stable family relationship.

holy shit LOL thaats so fucking cringy and edgy
quit larping as a pyschopath, and stoo reading edgy shit like jeff the killer

Holy shit really??? That sounds hilariously fucked up but something I'd be very curious to watch. Two animals shredding each other apart to survive.


Where did you know about this and can I watch this anywhere? (inb4 tor, cba searching fam)

somone screen shot this

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Is this actually Sup Forums now?

One person used the acronym "lmao" before. I get a terrible this board is now %80 -16 year olds.

To be honest I killed and tortured hundreds of mice when I was in high school. Vivisections, entombing in expanding foam, drowning. Now that I'm not full of angst at the world I regret it, don't know why I did it. Maybe because I had a rocky childhood. But now that I'm in my 30's I only kill when it's needed for my property since animals are directly responsible for my livelihood. But I do it efficiently and take no pleasure in it, if I take pleasure in anything it's a clean kill that didn't leave whatever was dealt with to suffer.

You probably have some abandonment issues if this is a true story, which I doubt. All animals make companions for shelter or food, affection is an afterthought but this doesn't devalue it.

Do what you will with the cat, it's not my burden to bear. My guess is you've never seen something really, really suffer, which I assure you a microwave would do for even a few seconds.

Good luck out there user.