Did I fuck up my relationship Sup Forums ? I am fucking depressed, I just can't understand woman

Did I fuck up my relationship Sup Forums ? I am fucking depressed, I just can't understand woman

>be me 27 living together with gf
>she is 25
>we love each other very much, literally my best friend aand soul mate and everything
>we had our 4 year anniversary on monday
>she is into these stuffsso I told her I have a very big suprise
>I booked a table in a fucking expensive restaurant where she always wanted to go, but we were like "meh it is too expensive"
>she was happy as fuck
>we had our fancy date in her best dress and I was in my best suit
>she was very happy but after an hour she became cold
>when we went home she didn't say a word in the car
>It really fucked me up I asked her what is the matter
>"nothing"
>when we got home she went to the bathroom
>I heard her crying
>she took a shower and she went to the bed without saying anything
>next morning she told me she is visiting her parents straight after work
>I asked her what did I do wrong
>"nothing"
>when I returned home I tried to call her but she didn't pick it up

fastforward today
>she still didn't answer my texts or calls
>I asked her friends on fb they told me fucking nothing
>I asked her brother he is a pretty cool guy we hang out a lot
>"user she is crying now for two days. she saw you hiding something (I don't remember such a thing) and she was thinking you wlll propose her during your anniverary celebration"

What the fucking fuck?
Is marriage this important for girls?
Maybe I am autistic but I didn't even think about proposing her. I always thought life is not a stupid romantic movie where you kneel down and propose someone.

I was always thinking that we are already a family and we don't need things like this, but it is tearing me apart that she is not here and she is not answering my calls. What should I do? Should I go to her parents house and propose her?

bump

Yes

Tell her to go fuck herself

NOW WHAT

DO NOT PROPOSE NOW

She will know that youre only doing it because shes upset which will cheapen it and cause lasting damage to the relationship. Let her cry it out and try to talk it out once she comes home.

Fuck that shit. Crying and running off like a spoiled little child who didn't get what she wanted for her birthday. Tell her to fuck off

Bitches don't like beta nice guys, wait 2 days do nothing and she will come back. You need to be an alpha dude. Only a weak man would propose now.

sounds like a clingy bitch, i'd dump that

That sounds really fucked op but I've never been in relationships nigger I'mma play souls now

I don't know.....I am so freaking scared that she will break up with me. Do you really think I shouldn't think about it just live my life as usual and she will come back?

Fuck you user she is literally perfect. I can't lose her. Especially know when I already managed to pay for our vacation.

You go to her parents' house and talk to her like an adult. Don't propose, it won't seem genuine. Tell her how important she is to you and how much you love her, what kind of life you envision with each other and be honest with her. If you didn't see marriage as being the lynchpin in your relationship's future then tell her that.
The thing with marriage is that it's not like a relationship you can easily walk away from, so proposing and sealing the deal gives her comfort and security. If that's something that you're willing to do and you want to be with her then by all means propose (I mean, not right now, it's gonna seem forced and will loom over you forever) but consider her needs and your own and talk about it like adults in the real world. If problems aren't brought out and discussed then they can't be fixed.
Every good relationship is made better by open and honest communication, so do exactly that.

propose on your own time, but wait for her to come back. If she doesn't really it's her problem and this shows a sign about y'alls relationship.

If she does come back, talk to her about it. What to do, when you're both only human. :/

>now when I already

english is not my first language and I am nervous as fuck sorry if I am autistic

She's clearly not perfect dumbass otherwise she wouldn't have run off on you over something ridiculously trivial and pathetic. She should've at least had the decency to tell you what was bothering you instead of crying to her family and leaving you stewing not knowing what was going on for two days. She really gave your own feelings some consideration there huh? Perfect...don't make me laugh. Again, tell her to fuck off

Fuck, man. If this is true she seems really emotionally immature and her family is enabling her behavior. Had you two discussed marriage before? I can see having the wind taken out of her sails if she really was anticipating it but the fuck.. After years of waiting for my fiance to propose to me I finally said fuck it and asked him myself. We had discussed it before so I knew it was something he wanted and the motherfucker said yes. Done deal. It wasn't a giant affair, wasnt a spectacle.. it was just different and it was very us. Why do so many women work themselves up over something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things..

kys faggot

honestly I already looked at her like my wife. We are doing together everything and by everything I mean everything from working out to playing video games. I am very honored that she wants to have my name and seal her life with me, I just didn't feel the need to sign over some stupid papers to make this official.

anyway thanks

>If she doesn't really it's her problem

but it is my problem too user. These days without her are like nightmares I feel so fucking alone.

Everybody has a week side, and maybe it was my fault. She is perfect for me.

>Had you two discussed marriage before?
We were talking about our dreams a lot during our first year where will we go on our honeymoon. She showed me a video on youtube 3 weeks ago about a very romantic wedding and she said it was so perfect.

Also her family never liked me a lot (only her brother) , I guess this is a win situation for them.

no. u

She sounds like a total bitch, didin't get what she wanted for her birthday so ran off without saying anything or without thinking about your feelings to cry to her family...
And dont propose now it wont feel genuine

If she's upset you didn't propose obviously she wants you to propose, so there's little chance of her wanting to break up with you.

She sounds a little weird in all honesty, like something my ex would do. Glad she's my ex because of shit like this.

But, if you love her you'll both get past this and move on with your lives.

Oh and like everyone else is saying, don't propose for atleast a couple of months, and if you do propose you have to top that meal.

Also don't propose unless you actually plan on spending the rest of your life with her and believe it's actually possible.

Gods speed user.

>is marriage this important for girls?

Yes. Yes. It. Is.

Do it, or trust me, she will walk and marry the next dude asap.
I speak from experience user.

I'm sticking by my assertion that she is really emotionally immature. I'd give it an honest try and find a way to get a message to her that basically says "I really didn't mean to hurt you with all this and I want to discuss our plans for the future. I wanted a special night for the two of us and I hate that a misunderstanding is what is going to end things between us".. if she can't see the reason in that I'm afraid you are better off moving on. Some times the first year of a relationship is filled with fluffy false promises about a future togethee, a house and kids etc. I think if you two hadn't been talking about tying the knot specifically and she hadn't asked you it's completely unreasonable for her to set her hopes so high over an anniversary dinner. I dated my fiance for 12 fucking years before we got engaged because we were both too young and too poor to see ourselves having a wedding.

doesnt sound like you did anything wrong. It is probably something else.

gods peed user...

>seems really emotionally immature

>woman

Tell her that you fucking imbecile.

Jk good luck.

TITS OR GTFO

If she comes clean and admits that she wanted a proposal then wife her. But you need a backup plan as to why you didn't propose that night. If she comes out like saying she cheated or some shit dump her ass

Shit, man. Everyone's emotionally immature in their teens and 20s. If I had a nickle for every seemingly normal guy I watched turn into a self-proclaimed sociopath that can't overcome insecurities they picked up from being a teen I'd he retired. Women do seem to find partners that are willing to deal with their high maintenance, developmentally stunted selves more often though. Men need higher standards.

This, srsly. Tell her everything, open/honest 100%.

Text her that she is being crazy and needs to chill the fuck out.

Hi there user you don't seem to understand the concept of the ol' addage you are spouting there.
I have a reason for sharing this anecdote that inadvertently exposes me as a woman. I'm not here expecting OP to be nice to me or respond to what I'm saying because he favors my gender romantically. I'm giving him advice in the context of being a woman who has wanted to be married/is getting married.

I don't give a shit if any if you anons think I'm a girl. I'm responding to OP's crisis.

OP, all I can say is don't propose anytime soon. When you see her, just tell her like it is; you sound like a perfectly nice autist

OP this is how you win her over again:
>Go to her house
>Go to her room
>Tell her this: user, i know that youre upset that that wasnt my proposal to you but there is a reason, i didnt want to propose to you in such a normal way like everyone else does, i want it to be special, i want you to feel special because you are, youre special to me and i love you. One month later go to the same restaurant, tell the waiter to put the ring in a wine glass
>watch her drink it
>watch her choke on the ring
>Let her die while laughing: thats what you get bitch

>737241402
Marry her you autistic fuck, its been 4 years and you haven't planned shit kys

listen to him OP, it might not feel right but it's literally the only thing you can do, when she comes around and tells you why she was upset (if she does) explain that you aren't ready for that type of commitment yet or some bullshit, she'll get over it

OP here i am sorry I didn't reply for so long, I was writing her a letter.

I wan't to live with her to my rest of life. Maybe I was immature too for not realizing that she needs this and I was selfish. anyway thanks

>I speak from experience user.


>"I really didn't mean to hurt you with all this and I want to discuss our plans for the future.

I managed to write down something this with a mixture of my sentences how I miss her every second. Thank you so much user you helped me a lot please keep your fingers crossed for me.

There is no way she cheated on me.

just don't give into those feelings you have, everything will be fine if you just let it be for a little bit

actual chuckle

No problem dude. Good luck and I hope you are both stronger from this miss-step.

what did you say in the letter? Can you keep us ubdated? Im way too invested into this.

that is fucking rude user

stop it guys you are making me feel so fucking bad

I hope this so much. I am in our bed right now and it feels so fucking big, like I would be in a forrest alone.

Honestly doing nothing is better than trying to overstep, don't bend cause she had a little bitch fit. Just keep doing what you're doing, discuss it when it comes up, and wait a couple months or until you're 100% sure about wanting her in your life forever, whatever comes first. Godspeed OP.

>What should I do?
be glad you just dodged a bullet OP. Seriously. Any male that gets married in this day & age is a fucktard. Take it from one who did and is. I still love my wife and she loves me but shit changes the 2nd you marry it. And you cannot leave because 1/2 everything and years of alimony. I make over $100k and there is no way I could live on what would be left after paying her off.

Understand it might be personal but mind showing us the letter?

stop blaming yourself and being a fucking cuck. you did something fucking awesome whatever she wanted and shit. now she acts like a fucking hoebag because she didn't get a pony?? fucking DUMP her ass. emotional manipulation like this can only mean she thinks you're a fucking mop to her. first of all you're trying too hard and secondly you care way too much about what she thinks. fucking ignore her for a few weeks or better yet just dump her ass right fucking now.

Your story is very simillar to my brother's . he one day on a date told his girlfriend that at the beginning when they started dating he thought about breaking up with her, she started crying and didnt say anything for like 3 days, then he went to her with flowers and now they are back together, so OP let it cool for a while and talk to her later

You have to remember user that girls are over emotional most of the time and she will probably end up being sorry for it at the end of the day. Just don't match how much she is overplaying it, you need to be her rock and her support system, showing her how emotional you are about it will only push her away. It's totally normal to have these emotions but in this case you have to suffer in silence.

WTF happened to my Sup Forums?
You all are a bunch of pussies now. Oh boy, it's a feels thread.

to add to my previous post - if you are actually thinking of fucking proposing to her manipulative bitch ass when she's doing this - you are a complete imbecile and you fucking deserve what's coming to you.

I'd say calm down my dude. She will come when she comes. You can't force her to come back, and if you not proposing on her time pisses her off then she isn't thinking about your timing.

user you will be fine. She will be fine. Give her some time. I know it'll be hard to leave her alone for a bit.

I'd say if you want to know about her go ahead and ask her family and friends like you have. Try not to do it in a clingy way though.

/thread

>maybe it was my fault

Do not blame yourself for this op

She's not going to break up with you, OP. Probably just upset that there was no proposal, especially because you both got into your best clothes and went somewhere you both agree is too expensive. Yes, it sounds childish and stupid, but women will be women. Just let her calm down a bit, and talk it out when she comes home.

But like this user said; Do. Not. Propose. Now. Not in a week, not in 2 weeks, not in 3 months. Wait a long time, and catch her off guard with it. If you do it too soon (if you were even thinking about doing it to try and make up to her) it'll just make her feel like you're doing it just to appease her.

tl;dr: don't panic, she's just upset. It'll work out with a bit of talking. Just don't sperg out.

I usually give advice like this but OP is a big boy and if he thinks this girl is worth putting up with a retarded misunderstanding then thats his choice.

I can make a thread tomorrow at this time if you want. I don't think she will respond now, it is 0:33 here.

thank you again

I already sent the letter to her, I just can't do nothing.

I can't add to this nothing. You guys are confusing me.

It is written in hungarian, and I don't want to let you in my personal space so much.

but i lover her user...

then maybe there is still a hope for me

thank you

This is sound advice. Send her your thoughts, keep your phone on ringer and try to distract yourself with something else.

Propose to her Sup Forumsro, let her cool off first and think of a kickass proposal

Dude. As a guy that waited 5 years to ask my wife to marry me, the answer is YES. Its SUPER important to women. It's way less important to men, but if you have no intention of marrying her, then you gotta cut her loose.

Period. At this point in your/her life people start thinking about settling down and having kids. I was 24 when I met my wife, she was 26. We were 30/32 when we got married and didn't have kids until I was 35/37....WAY too old imho.

If only because you don't have as much life left to spend with your kids which are FUCKING AWESOME.

Kids are like the coolest present you never thought you wanted..

Anyway, you want to either start talking to her about marriage or cut it loose. because after 4 years, she's fucking thinking about it.

In my opinion, if you haven't ever broken up and gotten back together and both of you have a relatively happy relationship, fucking man up, drop those balls and ask her. It's not like you'll get married next week or anything...it'll be months before you actually marry .

Listen to him OP, you gotta top off this fuckup

Also, OP. i fully get the idea you mentioned that you already have a nice family unit sorta thing happening at home already.

I tried that argument and it just doesn't fly. Pets aren't a substitute for kids or marriage.

Also, the one argument that the wife made that really resonated with me is that if you're just "The Girlfriend" then you have no value. She's just another girlfriend....a transient girl along the path of your life.

Once she becomes a fiancee on the other hand, or better yet a wife, then she has value....clout. which garners respect of it's own.

It's a real thing and a valid argument. Give her the respect she requires dude....that is, if you want to marry her.

First of all, the thingy down there I've written is a risky decission. A REALLY big risky decission, with a high reward outcome. Mind it before doing it.

Well, if that meant a lot for her you could try next anniversary and go for it. Go to the same place, do the same things, but instead when you finish declare to her.

If you have another really special day you could try that day instead. Again, that's risky as hell in a lot of senses. Maybe she will go to that place and remember bad things, maybe she will not be that patient... who knows. Maybe she would fall in love with you but not like normal, like REALLY but idk dude actually I shouldn't give advice as I don't like those kind of relationships.

Just an idea. Even if it's bad for you it's an idea.

Good luck user.

was really selfish not realizing it how much she needs this. One month ago her bff visited us with her baby, my gf was totally estatic holding a baby and all the night she told me how great must be for her to have a kid. I think I didn't see the signs I was too blind.

>She will come when she comes
please let it happen. thank you for your kind reply

thank you too

I was very hesitant to write this because it will sound like I am not ready for a marriage but I don't see myself like a father figure. On the other hand it would be so fucking cool to teach my son how to play football or teach him ride a bike. Anyway thank you.

She isn't just "the girlfriend" (I hope not wasn't) but someone I would die for. but I get your point.

No but to everyone outside of you guys, when you introduce her, she's just a girlfriend and the term "girlfriend" is way too insignificant a word to encompass everything she means to you and it's something she's aware of now as well.

As for kids, man...my wife was pregnant and it still didn't really register that I was going to be a dad. It wasnt until she had our daughter and i had her home that I felt like a father. And it's been amazing ever since.

She's the coolest goddamn thing. I should have had her long long ago. I put it off far too long. When you start doing the math (I'll be 50 when she's XX years old kinda thing) you want there to be a shitload of years left on your ledger to be able to see all of your kids cool milestones (graduation, grandkids, whatever).

I had no idea how much i would love being a dad.

Just FYI, I've been married to that same girl for 17 years, together with her for 23 years. That baby I mentioned is now 11. :D

Okay guys it iis 0:55 here, I am going to sleep. I have taken a xanax because I am so stressed I don't think I wlll be able to sleep, I am waking up in 4 hours to catch the train to work meh...

Thank you for your replies, for those kind anons who are intrested I will make a thread around this time tomorrow what happened.

that sounds cool user. I hope somethig like this will happen with me. I am happy for you.

ur just a cuck...

I m 25
gf 20
Shes is pregnant and we already have 2yo son...
She asks for marriage(she is from religious family) and I said no
''not a single bitch is gonna take half of my shit... not even you''
be alpha... btw I found her when whe was 16 so I basically trained her to be mine. and she is from poland and hot af. when someone tries to hit on her she just tells them that ''if you knew my bf you would not be talking to me'' and then the betas run away... I have had to beat shit out of couple dudes and she has just enjoyd it watching them suffer with a ''I told u fucker'' smile on her face.

Tell me more things that never happened user.

She never gave up hope, you'd eventually marry her.
Expecting you to bust out the ring at every other opportunity. This eventually takes an emotional toll on her, since she's always hoping and being disappointed. She never tells you, until it finally breaks her, she starts to cry, probably still wondering why she's so sad and it's so important to her.
So she goes home to think.
You did nothing wrong, if you clearly communicated, that you didn't want to get married.

you did nothing wrong. fuck that slut if she wants to throw away 4 years of relationship because of her retarded expectations. get off this sinking ship as fast as possible, only rule in life is "me first".

the moon landing

well think what you want ;)
I have to correct that she was 14 when I first met her but here where I live the safe age is 16 so I waited couple years... and when I found after she had turned 16 she was mad at me becouse I disappeared for couple of months.
I have told her that I need 7 sons that she needs to give me but she has limited it only to max 4. :( *I told her that I dont breed girls*

Im just scrollin through the replies here, she seems immature as fuckarony, and signs like that (sadly) signals that she's immature emotionally, and it's up for you to make a decission. But for fucks sake, it don't seem like you on the same wavelength. She can't just pull triggers like this to get what she wants, with you bowing under.

*couple of years

ah hahahahAHAHAHAHAH

holy keks

not laughing at you OP, it's just so woman

you gave her salad when she was expecting a ring. since it was a special occasion and the fancy restaurant you two always wanted to go to, she built it up in her head how it was going to go down exactly. when none of that happened, she flipped out. heheheahhaa. my wife has done that shit, and i was just like you; no fucking clue why she's all of a sudden sobbing when you expected your dick to get sucked for the special restaurant.

this is what women are about. they're fucking insane. they'll make up fantasies in their heads and lose what little is left of their minds when reality doesn't match. that's why they're so horrible having the right to vote. they make up fantasies about daddy government providing them with movie-style living, free everything and go on marches when it doesn't happen.

so if you love her, and realize you can stand up to a few decades of her losing her shit like this, then think up a good way to propose. but you'll have to up it. you can't just rush over and blurt it out. you'll have to do better than the restaurant. you'll have to take her on a trip or something. to get her to go, you'll have to hint that you were saving it for the trip. tell her mom or gf. tell them not to tell her so it looks like it was a big fucking secret, because they won't be able to hold it in and you want it to look like you really were saving it for the trip. otherwise, you might have lost her.

>I am very honored that she wants to have my name and seal her life with me, I just didn't feel the need to sign over some stupid papers to make this official.

if you don't make it official, she feels like you don't care about her. that's just the way it works. she'll feel used, and she will leave you. maybe not immediately, but after torturing you with coldness and no sex for a while.

> Maybe I was immature too for not realizing that she needs this and I was selfish

No, no you fucking weren't. YOU planned all this, YOU seet up the whole date YOU paid for it all. What did she do for you? She got pissy when you bring caramel with her chocolate ice cream and threw the fucking bull against the wall. YOu did all this to make her happy and she left high and dry without even an explanation for two days now so she cry on her moms lap about how you don't feel the need to sign some papers to validate your relationship.

I'm not saying dump her and i'm not saying tell her to go fuck herself, you clearly care a great deal about her and yo want to make it okay but you have to remember that you didn't do anything wrong and she's the one not taking your feelings into consideration here.

Don't be a faggot, fix this, stop blaming yourself, and let her take some accountability for her actions. I'm not saying kick her door down and start grilling her but at least aknowledge to yourself that she's being a little childish here.

Good luck OP, I wish you the best.

>did I fuck up?

No, she did. Get rid of her.

>listen to him OP, it might not feel right but it's literally the only thing you can do, when she comes around and tells you why she was upset (if she does) explain that you aren't ready for that type of commitment yet or some bullshit, she'll get over it

fastest way to lose her. "well if aren't ready for committment, why am i living here?" "oh yeah, who else are you going to commit to?" and "i found someone who WILL commit to me"

I knew this girl once who honestly told me that she had already pinned the day on which she would get married.
she even admitted that it didn't matter to her who it was, as long as it was on that date.

tell her to fuck off.

this

>Maybe I was immature too for not realizing that she needs this and I was selfish.

exactly it. you didn't want to be married, you wanted a live in buddy to play video games with and have sex. so you decided it wasn't going to happen. you were one-sided in making that decision.

>Be you
>Be a cuck
>An Hero after failing to convince people that you're not a cuck

>Maybe I was immature too for not realizing that she needs this and I was selfish. anyway thanks

Yesssssss, yes user this is the right mindset to be in a relationship.
any other mindset just wont work, grovel for her.. but then immediately assert your dominance, then grovel again, repeat this until you die.

Seriously not even joking here, this is what a relationship entails.

fairly sure this is a troll thread but the only logical comment, speaking from experience:

Like others have said, this is about emotional maturity.
maturity comes with age or with tough moments in life, so one could say this will make her stronger.

Personally I got stabbed in the face in high school and it really opened my eyes (and a piece of my cheek)

so you could just try to stab her, be all like "THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD!"

>My boyfriend who loves me and I loves him wants to marry me
>I guess I better sob in the bathroom and give him the cold shoulder.
Fucking women
>inb4 neckbeard

>Be me
>Do not get what I wanted on Christmas
>Cry
>I was 5
>She's 25
>Women mature faster they say

You. I like you.

Pic of scar?

Irrational behavior, sorry you had to deal with that.

She is being completely out of order treating you like that.