Colbert walks onto the stage

>colbert walks onto the stage
>audience on the edge of their seat, some begin preemptively passing out from excitement
>colbert smirks
>so....Trump this week, I mean...really?
>at once - a cacophony of shrieks and laughter of immeasurable magnitude erupts from the crowd
>colbert chuckles to himself and then points at the camera
>i mean c'mon people - im looking at you, white males
>all the women in the audience immediately begin twerking on the one black guy in the bleachers until the vibrations begin superheating his body to neutron star level temperatures
>the camera zooms in on colberts face
>okay okay okay i mean seriously, get a load of this guys...
>audience are on the verge of tears from the anticipatory laughter. some have to leave the set for hysterical shreiking
>the tidal forces resulting from the combination of applause, laughter, and tribal dancing starts to alter the very fabric of time itself
>huge grin comes on colberts face and tears of laughter start flowing
>PPPPPPFFFFFFF HAHAHAHAHAHA DONNY DRUMPF FRUMPF PUTIN RUSSIA FAKE NEWS PLUMPF!!!!

"Comedy".

Other urls found in this thread:

businessinsider.com/the-doctor-who-said-trump-would-be-the-healthiest-president-ever-wrote-his-glowing-letter-in-5-minutes-2016-8
twitter.com/AnonBabble

....HOW MANY FUCKING SCOOPS?!?!!?!?

TAMALD PRUMPFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Do people actually find this guy funny anymore?

>>Trump walks onto the stage
>>His supporters are struggling to contain their patriotism
>>Trump smirks
>>"Everything I do is for you working class folks...The elite Democrats don't like it and make fake news."
>>The hissing of the crowd is deafening. Their dislike of the media is palpable.
>>"But it's ok. I have a plan, the best plan..."
>>The men of the crowd have raging erections and the women are literally dripping through their pants.
>>"...We're going to build a wall..."
>>Several of the audience members pass out from sheer euphoria as others are restlessly begging Trump to fuck them.
>>"...and Mexico is going to pay for it!"
by 1 several other audience members spontaneously combust into flames of patriotic passion.
>>An audience member asks a question..."what are you going to do about Health Care, Mr. Trump?"
>>Trump silently walks down amongst his people.
>>He approaches the man who asked his question and begins stripping him of his clothes
>>he places the man on all fours.
>>Trump takes out his incredibly long 4" cock and places it against the man's anus.
>>Trump leans forwards and whispers to the man.
>>"I'm going to remove ObamaCare and replace it with a plan that will ensure that you and your working class family will not be able to afford even basic coverage. Your pre-existing conditions you developed by working in the coal mines and steel plants won't be acceptable and you will still love me for it.
>>With that, Trump penetrates the man's anus and the man explodes into a flock of white doves that fly off into the sunset.

"whatever you want to call this shit storm"

Make all the unrepresentative parodies you wish, but deep down, you know you'd never be half as successful as him in a hundred lifetimes.

You don't even have to make things up about Drumpf, all he has to do is use his own words in tweets and videos against him because the annoying orange is so stupid he is incapable of planning ahead.

lol

/thread

this is exactly why i absolutely hated him when he was on comedy central and I preferred Jon steward much more.

Kek, more. Hopefully it's known I find both of these guys and their audience repugnant
*dibs fedora*

No. Just tries to be an edgy teen.

Why are people incapable of enjoying parodies of both these retards?

Both are hysterical , it's just the trump one was so dead on and hysterical about the healthcare

>anymore
Most people who aren't hipster libcucks with skinny jeans and man buns never found him funny at all.

this is kind of hot

I wrote the Trump post....Honestly, I have nothing against the two of them. They are just doing what they know they can. They are manipulating the easily influenced minds of their audiences and stroking their egos to make them think that they are smarter than the other side etc.

Did you get raped as a child, op?

> Being this autistic...

>So...
>*Raises Eyebrows*
>*Audience giggling*
>Drumpf...
>*Audience Howls and claps*
>I mean, really?
>*Audience starts seizing, multiple fights break out*
>*Colbert gets on his desk and rips off his shirt*
>DUANLD TRUUUUUUUUUNP
>*Audience is completely rioting, they're attacking and cannibalizing the TV crew*
>AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
>*Colbert's eyes become red, a huge storm kicks up outside*
>IMPEACH BONALSD GRUMP!!
>*Wings sprout from the audience members, they begin chanting in Latin*
>DAAAANAHLD
>*Colbert sheds his skin, a 10 foot demon is now standing in his place*
>BLUMPF
>*The world descends into chaos, mass murders, rapes, and cannibalizations sprout up*
>GLOMAND MUMP IS A FAVICST
>*Trump, laughing hysterically, but crying profusely opens the nuclear football and demands that all nukes be set off*
>*DC iS wiped off the map*
>*Trump is literally BTFO*

>colbert walks on stage
>audience applauds
>Heh oh, yeah, sure, yeah hehe.. uh..
>audience quiets down
>So uh, heh, uh... so, yeah...
>puts hands in pockets
>Hmmm, uhh..
>paces towards camera
>Yeah... so... umm...
>a slight growing hum can be heard from the crowd
>... Donald.......
>the audience collectively prepares themselves with such force that it sucks all air out of the room, producing an environment similar to the vacuum of space
>colbert licks his lips slowly, the saliva immediately boiling due to the difference in pressure
>a few people begin to experience dangerous side effects, some go unconscious
>colbert, unphased, closes his eyes in dismay as he prepares to speak once again
>... Trump.
>the audience's collective groaning sigh causes the room to rumble and the building's foundations to sway
>dust drops from the ceiling as the rumbling continues, light fixtures drop to the floor and shatter
>the shards of glass shoot out towards the crowd, killing several people instantly and leaving some with gaping wounds
>a large glass of water on a stand drops to the floor near a broken light, extending the current
>one of the stage crew accidentally slips and lands in the puddle, taking several thousand volts into his body and frying his brain
>the rumbling ceases immediately
>colbert smirks
>I mean, really?
>the audience laughs as the dead crewman's body catches on fire in the background

...

Oh my god this thread

GLORNAHLD KUMPFGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

Try not to take it so personally, user.

Everyone hates on him but I learned more from him than the news. And in real life he's a genuinely good guy.

HAND OVER THE SCOOPS GLUMPF

...you really shouldn't be getting your news from a comedy show, even if his show was fun to watch.

what about this cheeky bastard?

What about Last Week Tonight? The information is solid, even if the show does have a bit of a bias.

not to mention that the amount of people getting their information from Fox are probably getting worse info than most...

>bit of a bias
Hell, I am a eurofag and even I know that is biased to fuck

>pic related
Some information is good, and some is just echochamber nonsense

Watch it if you want to learn about (and by learn, I mean be exposed to) certain issues. Don't take any news source at face value though and do more research.

According to John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, right?

Try watching Fox for a while so you don't have to qualify your perception of it with "probably".

Super red pilled

That may be the case for someone of average or lower intelligence viewing the show.

I have to admit to the bias because I'm fairly progressive, but I don't agree with some of the things he says.

All things considered...it is still a comedy show about News.

what the us mass media and many people are doing---> absolute disgrace. never seen such a witchhunt. I´am from europe btw.

I have watched Fox news...and CNN and MSNBC and several other networks.

I'm not the average libtard that just watches on Network because I'm supposed to.

Oh jesus I find it hard to watch. It's such a forced narrative most of the time, its not even news mostly its just right wing entertainment. Some of the reporters are decent like wallace and shepherd, but even looking at hannity's face I want to burn the TV.

He is an adult entertainer, he is not for the kids of Sup Forums.

All "news" outlets are what's called "entertainment news" in the US. In light of recent events, it should be 9obvious that media is a huge business and does not have much integrity when unregulated. Current state of journalism is abysmal. Spinn8ng narratives out of nothing (both right and left) to cater to ratings

No. The term Witch Hunt denotes that the target of the derision is undeserving of the treatment and that the accusations are based on unfounded evidence.

The reaction to Donald Trump's presidency is not a Witch Hunt

You seem very upset. Are you okay?

This person just seems to be over examining how jokes work.

It's a comedy show about news... Yeah, they're gonna have jokes. This is just another conservative looking for a reason to be deathly terrified of something

Right. I took it as an over-examination. That may just be the writers' style of joke telling. You have to lay the factual foundation, and then you follow it up with the joke...seems pretty obvious.

whereas something like the Jim Jefferies show is more of a non-chalant joke. He casually makes shocking or inappropriate statements for laughs.

...

You are crazy beyond help.

That guy is not a psychologist.

1. That is an ad hominem and doesn't change the validity or lack thereof in what he said
2. It's just your word against his

Tim Allen is only voice of reason.

I think people need a war. People need an enemy. The US is going nuts and it´s people need to fight somebody.

i imagine a general mood like it is right now, before WW1 and WW2. Pure warmongering. People are bored and need blood and games.

Is that what he told you to say?
If I watch the show do I get a card with my lines?

I preferred the Colbert Show (if I HAD to watch one of the two), because at least it was shtick/satire, where as Jon Stewart just came off as a massive fucking prick, which, incidentally, is how I feel about Colbert now.

You gonna tell me you prefer Fallon?

Agreed. Every comedy show follows this "formula".

If a comedy show doesn't have a laugh every 20 or 30 seconds then it is a shit comedy.

If you listen close sometimes sitcoms and other comedies will have a laugh cue or laugh track after things that aren't even jokes just to fill this void.

Someone is really over analyzing

I don't watch late night talk shows

Stephen Colbert has effectively become The Big Bang Theory.

Oh how the mighty have fallen. RIP

He was at the peak of his career when he did satire on comedy central playing the CHARACTER stephen colbert. I got a lot of good laughs out of him. Granted, he had great writers for his show that dove head first into sarcasm. But colbert had great delivery to deliver the jokes.

Agreed. He nailed that character. It was brilliant.

I remember the days when Letterman would open every show with the name, "Buttafuoco". Shit happens.

Fox news is an entertainment show. It's not able to be a news source because of it was, it would have already been sued to death. Look it up.

:|

you belong in a museum !

this. where can I watch old colbert report episodes? I don't like this late show version of colbert.

...

I know.

>Tim Allen takes the stance
>"honey, these damn liberals"
>cascading laughter fills the audience
>teenage daughter walks in
>"dad you're not taking my gay flag building workshop seriously"
>audience laughs uncontrollably at the unimaginably retarded pastime
>"Well honey, maybe you should grow up"
>audience shits themselves with laughter, the stench forces the girl to leave the stage
>"That's a crybaby liberal for you!"

fucking lame-tier copypasta.
what's the matter cry baby, can't think up anything on your own? maybe you should find a safe space

cop starts breakdancing

>BEING THIS buttmad
8 years, kid. The more upset you get the better he is

No one cares about this foreign piece of shit

>implying trump is going to live this long to continue potus
>71 years old
>obese
>constant stress
>heart attack imminent

I'm really not. But at the same time I don't see how anyone could enjoy his new show, and I watched every episode of tool time growing up. In am a Colbert fan though so assume whatever you like.

>implying he's not the healthiest president there ever was
Doctor's have literally confirmed this. Stay mad, bud
businessinsider.com/the-doctor-who-said-trump-would-be-the-healthiest-president-ever-wrote-his-glowing-letter-in-5-minutes-2016-8

GUUUURGLELE DDDDUUUURRPPPFFF

You are a special one aren't you. Just because you believe every doctor and scientist is paid for their opinions dosnt mean us nonretards do. Especially when his doctor admited he never even checked or met with trump prior to his bill of health.

Trump is an orange retard who wants to fuck his daughter. You literally can't argue against that

warmongering.. that´s what you are.. let´s start a war with russia, you would love that. do you

Because that's not an argument

>Just because you believe every doctor and scientist is paid for their opinions dosnt mean us nonretards do
Yes, I know. He wasn't paid for his research/conclusion. It was impartial and unbiased. You're mad that he can eat pizza at his age and maintain a healthy lifestyle?

>being this buttmad
>this buttmad
>buttmad
>"2 Corinthians"
Trump get off b and do some work

The doctor didn't even check him. And if you think trump maintains a healthy lifestyle then you fit in pretty well with the retarded and obese half of the country.

>b
go back

I hate that I also find it hot

>no source
>ad hominem
>elementary insult
not an argument

You come to b looking for reasonable and sourced arguments and you still claim that you're not retarded?

>WHAA??? But according to a study done by Trevor Noah, millennials who watch late night comedy are the most politically informed people in the world!!!

The vast majority of people who watch Colbert, Noah, Maher, etc are a bunch of faggoty millennials with social science degrees who think they know everything about politics. The same faggots who watch these talentless phonies also think trump can be impeached because they don't like him

You say "b" and expect us not to know youre a plebbitor?

Fucking kek. I can only dream

I'm on a phone faggot, that the best you got? I've been here all summer.

...

It's hard to get triggered when liberal tears can still be tasted.

>You're like literally a white male

Complaining about people with degrees. Who can spot the person with education issues?

Everybody get a load of this faggot

Hey! Alcoholics are fun to watch

If you have a social science degree then you might as well have no degree. Unless you're planning to be a Hollywood actor, you wasted $100,000 for bragging rights. Millions of jobs go unfilled because companies cant find people with any useful skills

THIMM ALON

Daily reminder that politics is thought containment for the witless masses. The false dichotomy has been ingrained deeply into your minds.

>durmpf's the problem
>no libturds!!11

Remove yourselves from the gene pool immediately.

>Millions of jobs go unfilled because companies cant find people with any useful skills
That is so untrue it hurts

It's okay buddy. Now try to type that without crying this time.