me: honestly, why havent we had sex yet?
her: say something romantic and you might get your wish
me: romantic?
her: woo me
me: do I look like Hallmark Greetings to you?
her: you're losing points
me: oh hell give me time to think of something
her: Jeopardy Music
me: ready?
her: ready as ever
me: it's a bit sappy, are you sure about this?
her: I hope it's a love poem
me: here goes
me: Thrusting deep I pump your butt
me: Pumping faster I pump your butt
her: enough of that
me: Your butt was meant for pumping
her: oh god
me: Pumping your butt full of cum
her: eww
me: Pump Pump Pump Cum Cum Cum
her: I'm putting you on ignore if you don't stop
me: The End
her: That wasn't very romantic
me: I get am A for effort though, right?
her: why are all guys such assholes
me: isn't that what women like?
her: sad but true
Me: honestly, why havent we had sex yet?
(me) Seriously, why haven't we had sex yet?
(her) I don't go out with coworkers
(me) who said anything about dating?
(her) Oh, well in that case, fuck off.
(me) Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
(her) who was that meant for?
(me) you
(her) you want to have sex with me?
(me) are you offering?
(her) I don't think of you like that
(me) But I think of YOU all the time
(her) You're my friend, don't ruin this
(me) usually it's late at night and all the lights are off, I just lay there, thinking about you
(her) That's sweet, but you should go for someone more your type
(me) because when the lights are off, sometimes I forget he's my dad
(her) what?
(me) I mean, when the lights are off, and I'm daydreaming, I think of our future
(her) your dad? what about your dad?
(me) please don't talk about my dad, it will just put me into a bad mood
(her) What is your dad doing with you with the lights off?
(me) No, please.. I can't talk about that.. he'll hurt my mom
(her) What are you talking about? Is your dad hurting you? You can tell me!
(me) I need to go, I need to go. I'm sorry I ever brought this up
(her) You need to tell me whats going on or I'm going to get involved with or without you
(me) you don't understand
(her) I might understand alot more than you think I do, I had problems with my dad too you know, there's a reason why I moved into my moms house at 14
(me) Are you saying what I think you're saying?
(her) Call me please, or come over
(me) I'll be there in 30 minutes
me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: lol
me: we should have sex
her: lolol
me: You should come over right now
her: seriously? no...
me: why so serious?
her: You're my friend
me: I'm not your friend, I'm tired of being in the friendzone, come over let me prove it to you
her: But you're my friend!
me: I want to fuck you. LET ME FUCK YOU
her: how long have you liked me?
me: are we going to fuck or not?
her: but why can't we just be friends?
her: why does every guy always think about sex?
me: come over, lets talk about your feelings
her: what feelings?
me: come over, let's just be friends and watch a movie
her: ok, we'll just be friends
me: bring condoms
her: what?!? why??
me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: idk what r u talking about?
me: what are you wearing?
her: not interested
me: What can I do to convince you that we should have sex?
her: take a hint, not interested
me: do you have any lonely friends?
her: not for you, noone for you
me: what about melanie?
her: Wait, your into Melanie?
her: srsly?
me: Why wouldn't I be, she's funny
her: OMG, SERIOUSLY?
me: I like em thick, what can I say?
her: OMG Does she know?
me: Would you tell her?
her: Tell her what? You shud msg her do you have her #?
me: Tell her I want to fuck you both, and we should all hang out
her: is this a joke?
her: are you into me, or her?
me: my dick is an equal opportunity destroyer
her: oh your a creep
her: stay away from melanie, she's been hurt and she wouldnt get your humor
me: I'm not joking, I'd climb that mountain if it meant getting with you too
me: just think of her, she needs a good lay
me: dont ruin this for her
me: hello?
her: melanie wants your number, can I give to to her?
me: only if you're setting up a threesome
her: do you want to talk to her or not? I'm not interested
her: hello?
her: she's getting upset, will you talk to her?
her: hello?
her: your an asshole
dis real? your friends?
me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: who the fuck is this?
me: who is this?
her: this is cy's boyfriend, who the fuck are you?
me: is cy there?
her: who the fuck are you motherfucker??
me: she wont tell you?
her: if I find you I'm going to kick your ass faggot
her: fucking faggot
her: faggotty asshole
me: will you give cy a message?
her: faggot
me: tell her I would eat her shit straight out her ass if it meant pissing you off
her: what the fuck? faggot? see you're a faggot, faggot
me: tell her I said thanks for the backrub the other day, and I'm looking forward to our date
her: you faggot I'm going to hunt you down. I'm going to hunt you faggot YOU FAGGOT
her: FAGFAGFAGFAGFAG
me: tell her I dont blame her for wanting to dump her boyfriend
her: WHO IS THIS FAGGOT
help me to remember that chick in the pic
It's killing me
...
ehrrrr can not remember
(me) Seriously, why do you think Stacie won't have sex with me?
(him) my Stacie?
(me) Yea, bitch has some tits on her. hot damn
(him) We're still together...
(me) Then maybe you could re-introduce me to her, I wouldn't mind a little bit of that action
(him) I would fucking kill you
(me) don't be so posessive, all I want is 30 minutes with her, I'll make it worth your while
(him) how?
(me) how?
(him) How would you make it worth my while?
(me) How about $500
(him) Done, I'm dumping her when I enroll in LSU in the spring anyway
(me) pfft, I can wait two months
(him) I'll talk shit about you to her first
(me) damn you got me there
(me) she isn't worth $500 though, how about $20
(him) hmm okay
(me) damn
(him) I still get paid if she wont fuck you though
(me) sure she will, my dick's way bigger than yours
(me): seriously why havent we had sex yet?
(her): i think your definition of sex is different than mine
(me): how so?
(her): a blowjob IS sex...
(me): no way it isn't we should go all the way
(her): No, I'm saving myself...
(me): how about another blowjob then?
(her): I'm just not that into you anymore... I met someone
(me): oh god damn it
(her): I thought you knew
(me): i think you just ruined my entire life.
(her): what?
(me): I thought you were the one... the one for me...
(me): all those other girls.. they were just... recreation
(her): WHAT? I thought we agreed not to get serious!
(me): I am going to kill myself
(her): Stop fucking around with me, this isn't fair
(me): I loved you. I LOVED YOU
(her): call me asap
(me): GOD DAMNIT, I AM ENDING THIS RIGHT NOW
(me): SAY A PRAYER FOR ME
(me): GOOD NIGHT SWEET PRINCE
(her): call me or I will call 911
(her): hello? are you there?
(her): this isnt funny any more, pick up the phone
(her): don't do this! PICK UP THE PHONE!!!
i liek dis tread much
me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: what?
me: why havent we had sex yet?
her: maybe because I hardly know you, and I've already got a boyfriend?
me: don't you ever think about other guys?
her: why are you asking me this?
me: I think we could have some fun, if you're willing.
me: doesn't need to be anything serious
me: lets do this
her: please dont msg me again
me: I'm already stroking it thinking about you, want a pic?
her: eww no!
me: will you at least send me a pic?
her: GO AWAY!
me: Seriously why havent we had sex yet?
her: if you think of a good reason let me know
me: I've got nothing
her: So, what does that tell you?
me; That there's no reason I shouldn't be boning you right this second?
her: I'm game if you're game!
me: That went much better than expected.
her: All you had to do was ask
me: Yea, but that's never worked for me before.
her: Less talking, more sexing
me: I hope you like anal
her: lol
yay
I enjoy a happy ending.
bumping for more of these
Bump.
Shits cracking me up
what a good thread
> a blowjob is sex
> i'm saving myself
These are pretty funny. Way better than ylyl at least
I loved this thread, but it's time for me to let it go. Goodnight sweet prince.
me: Why haven't we had sex yet?
her: We've been over this you fucking creep.
me: Just once. No feelings. Just sex.
her: fuck you dad.