After you break up and you're still in love... how the FUCK do you actually & successfully "move on??"

After you break up and you're still in love... how the FUCK do you actually & successfully "move on??"

You tell her that you want more competition OR ELSE,
Then shown up and yell BRAAAAAAAAAW!

wait lol wat? more competition?

and like, how is it that in this whole world of millions and millions of other, way hotter chicks, i can only seem to keep thinking about my ex as the only one i want?

Oh jeez, he's making a joke about big beardo man Braun Strowman in the pic, OP... It's wrasslin shit.

oh oh, ok lol. But yeah, idk. How's it goin this evening? Feel terrible loneliness and just want to feel like I'm with/around people.

It's important that you give yourself time to mourn. You can't just slough that pain off. There'll come a day when you're better, trust me.
It'll happen overnight. One day you're hurting and the next day you're better. When that day comes, take a shower and get right back out there.

thanks, man. really appreciate that. God, right now it just sucks, though. Ugh. I'd honestly take the most excruciating physical pain over that of heartbreak, seriously.

fermented foods help a FUCKTON. kefir and sauerkraut you make yourself. long story short, it helps you move on.

going through this atm

> fermented foods help a FUCKTON. kefir and sauerkraut you make yourself.

lol, well, ok. Elaborate? Also, sorry to hear, man.

The best way to get over someone is to get under someone.
>Just not twice with the same someone

Just takes time, user. I've been there and I'll admit it's painful. Took me about 3 years to completely get over a girl I was with for 1.5 years and was head over heels mad in love with. But time heals those wounds and it starts to hurt less and less. I couldn't be happier now.

OP im going thru the same. its been a month and am just starting to feel myself again. its HELL. theres no way to speed up the healing. Its HELL. but it WILL pass.

The easiest way is to find something else to do. Mine was usually to find the hottest girl to flirt with and see how far I could take it. It bumps up my self esteem and it helps me realize that I could do better.

agh, man, sorry to hear... but like, the fact that you say you're happier now is a bit inspiring and encouraging.

also shit man, sorry to hear in your case, too. So it really is just all about time, egh. Alrighty. Thank you, though. Truly mean it.

Avoiding the hurt prolongs it. Feel pain, there's nothing wrong with that.

ok. do you ever still feel though like you'd prefer your ex, despite the possibly hotterness of the new chick(s)?

yea i guess i gotta recognize that aspect, too. that there should be some grieving. but man, does that hurt...

Yep, not saying it will be easy, it won't. Just saying dont feel bad for feeling bad, you know?

assists in bioavailability in the gut for serotonin and tryptophan. your gut is like your second brain and smooths out mood swings when you eat shit, which is usually what people do when they are struggling. Fermented foods increase bioavailability of nutrients to the body, and are also a source of life in and of themselves.

I posit that there may be some sort of sub perceptual conversation going on between your ability to process shitty emotions and a good gut bacteria, ie chinese medicines connection to the gut, and also that the vagus nerve connects form the gut all the way to the brain stem.

This helps in alleviating some stress response mechanisms and helps you to start thinking normally and making better decisions, like better diet, exercise, outlook etc.

I think there may be some other form of subperceptual communication between the bio-organisms in your body at a cellular level that helps you feel more connected to the outside world, but that might be going out on a limb (refer barbara hand clow's alchemy of the nine dimensions)

Been studying ptsd inside it and outside it and have come up with a few techniques to pull myself out of it multiple times. Almost like a human guinea pig. It's getting a bit old and I think I am done with doing it considering I am not getting any younger.

There is a heap of other stuff you can do but the gut, the vagus nerve, good meditation and decent macro nutrients will cover a shit load to start with, without having to go down the rabbit hole of how you feel and getting lost. Sometimes it is just sanity and a good day that I want, not harps, angels and gigantic revelations.

Looking into microdosing mushrooms soon, which I think will also be helpful, but I think good gut bacteria seems to be the way to go.

PS, watch out for sugar, it's BAD yo!

Time... You'll eventually get to old to give a fuck anymore.

Beats being married to the bitch and feeling that way.

ok, "don't feel bad for feeling bad," that sounds pretty wise, true.

whoa. damn man like... wow. ok true. looks like you've put in a lot of work on this. how's it going? I mean, I hope you at least feel like you're making progress.

>Beats being married to the bitch and feeling that way.

See like, that may be one of my problems: I've concluded that any issues I had with this chick in the relationship that I considered like, real, serious issues, were NOTHING compared to this pain and hurt from separation from her. It's literally the blackest and most painful Hell I've ever experienced. So maybe I need to focus more on the stuff in the relationship I didn't like and magnify it or something. Because right now, I think i'm forgetting about all the bad stuff and only remembering the good stuff.

You learn to say "well either I wasn't happy or they weren't happy, even if we had stayed together one of us would have been sad making the other sad"

I'm doing ok. Hakomi therapy, abraham-hicks, some meditation, walking, and a shit load fermented foods has been pretty handy. Knowing that no one else is responsible for how I feel has been the biggest pill to swallow. Both freeing and terrifying.

i guess i'm selfish in the sense that, i don't think i'd care if i knew she'd be happier with someone else. as long as i have/had her for myself, i'd be ok with that.

gonna look into.

I made a quick recovery from really starting to think about killing myself to getting some perspective on how I am going to move on from this r'ship (13 years of trauma).

Still plenty of work to do but I have focused on what works. I went to Peru and drank ayahuasca for 3 months but found that living with a psychopath, that the good effects were destroyed after 6 months because I couldn't stabilise my learnings.

The key I have found is whatever you do to find peace and happiness is NO ONE else's business. Not parents, sibling, SO's, best friends - NO ONE. That is both the gift and the peril.

When I changed I alienated people , but also stopped being their emotional dumping ground. It's a double edged sword but the only way is forward or you feel like shit otherwise.

"better to never start than to start and never finish"

some people can just do it, I don't know how... For me it's always taken time, a lot of time. But I'm a pussy

STFU you god damn pussy

there , thats how you move on nancy

Have a look at peter levine's work if you are interested in stress, ptsd and how it affects the body and how you heal from it.

the body never lies ( unlike my head does to me sometimes!) and stores the feelings/traumas in it. Finding a way to release it is key. Wim Hof's stuff is interesting also. If you are open to psychedelic experiences without the drugs, I believe holotropic breathing is excellent, but you might want to have a guide for that one.

My feeling on all this shit is that it is like inflammatory for your fight and flight part of the brain which thinks you are going to die and keeps you in a state of feeling like shit and not being able to process the feelings that need to be felt ( ie accept they are there and just feel them).

ie Relax and the rest just does it's own work ( i know easier said than done when you are overcome with grief and you don't want it to get any harder or you are numb and life has lost it's meaning)

alright, that's enough from me Sup Forumstards. respect and love

truly interesting and thought provoking. thanks for this... really mean it.

ha, last time, it took me 10 years, truly.

might try to do this, too

no probs, in my opinion, that is what /b is really for: new ideas, creativity and destruction and helping a Sup Forumstard out.