27 virgin here. i am writing this here and not on /r9k/ because today i will have my second that in the chicks place, and i might lose my virginity.
i am really freaked out guys, will i be able to do it? Is it just as easy as in porn? what if I fuck something up.... should I tell her i am a virgin?
help
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I will have my second date I missed that sorry.
bump
Relax bro, just be yourself and let things happen
>Relax
I can't, I am so nervous. This is the first girl in my life, and I think it will be the last if I fuck this up. I am so nervous now, I don't know what will happen tonight.
Vagina is waaay lower than you think, don't stress yourself, it'll feel good for you anyway once you are in her pussy but you might finish in a min, or not at all.
Tell her then that you are/were a virgin but she is amazing. Then try to make her cum with your fingers
>but you might finish in a min
as an almost wizard I mastered my fappening sessions to 15 mintues until i cum maybe that will help me
>try to make her cum with your fingers
if i think I won't be able to stick it in, I don't think I will be able to do this
>Sure way to make her cum with your fingers
You should do it BEFORE fucking her (and after if she wants you to).
1st stick a finger in, gently work your way up to 2, unless she tells you she is super tight, then only use one.
Then when you a good slow in and out going to get use to how it feels inside (which might feel a little weird, but good),point your palm upward, and start to make a "come here" motion with both fingers (major and ring fingers are the best vecause longest). You should find a spot that feels a little different and that should make her feel better. Enjoy the moment yourself but PAY ATTENTION to her reaction, easiest way to know if you are doing it right.
Stroke that spot with that motion while continuing to go in and out, slowly still. Pick up speed when you see it's effective, and press a little harder up.
By the end of it, depending on how hard she wants you to go (don't hesitate to ask, not all porn star like, but just a "faster/harder?" isn't bad to ask), your hand should be slapping your pussy with some noise and pressing fairly hard inside her. OF COURSE not too much, look for the signs.
If this isn't a one night stand, forget about how good/bad it will be, and try to make her cum. She will come back for more if you do.
Is she a virgin too? Age?
holy shit this seems to be harder than my last exam in the university
she is 26, but I think there is no chance that she is not a virgin
>mastered my fappening sessions to 15 mintues until i cum
yeah thats what everyone thinks
Unless you are from another species, your fingers are much easier to control than your dick, so of course you will make her cum with your fingers before being able with your cock.
And fapping is nothing like sex, the biggest sex organ is the brain, and it will be on overdrive for your 1st time.
Not during my first time, but even after pounding my ex without any problem for 10min, j would cum extremly fast once she started to moan like crazy or tell me how she was cumming. The physical part didn't change (of course the pussy tightens a bit during orgasm), but i love moans so much that it would do that.
It's too late for that, but especially if you have a death grip, you'll be surprised by a pussy
She told you? Then don't assume. Of course it's new. You will not make her cum over and over the 1st time. 1st time is meh at best for the girl.
Don't be a dick, try something, enjoy whatever you can do. And don't expect a grand firework of sensation. This will come after
2nd time will already be much better because you won't stress like that
And i tried to be detailed but tl;dr is: 2 fingers in, press up while in and out
Keep in mind porn has little to do with rl sex. Thrusting like a champ will not do much to her. If you do missionary do me grinding than thrusting. Clitoris stimulation feels much better for her.
Oh and be nice after you cum. Kiss her, cuddle, tell her she is great and explain while you came in 10s while trying to find her pussy.
Don't get too drunk because you'll already be stressed as fuck. Pinch the tip of the condom you WILL wear (you won't love it? Tough shit, did you both get tested and she's on the pill or else? No, then wear one).
Try and play with her clit, even if you don't know how. It's not the bit of skin on top, it's hidden under it, like your dickhead (if you arent mutilated)
Anymore questions?
Also usually it's nice to say thanks when someone helps. I'm busting my ass with long replies and stuff, i'm all butthurt right now, and not in a good way
Yes, porn is just like sex.
Didn't you know that all kung fu experts do is watching a lot of kung fu movies?
Nothing faked or acted, period.
Change positions every so often if you want to last longer maybe go back to fingers
Not OP but I'm a kind person, good on you user, you make the world a better place.
\o/
OP here I am so sorry user I am working today too, and I had to take some phone calls. Thank you so much I will try to read your advices many times.
I hope it will be allright. I was so nervous before my first date and first kiss too two days ago, and it turned out I did good. But this shit is completely different. i am literally scared that I won't be able to find the hole and I will just poking her or something like that don't know, I was just a literal loser in my 27 years of my life I am not used to this thing.
hello anons, just recently hooked up with a guy. i really like him but he's not the best in bed.
any advice?
you got this. the vagina is pretty much just above the asshole.
whats important is that she feels the effort you are putting in; it's one thing to be bad/inexperienced but if she feels your enthusiasm/desire it helps a lot.
You know if she means something to you, tell her it's your first time.
Regardless most women are will just grab you and stuff it inside themselves do you foreplay enough with them.
So no worries OP, more than anything be kind, ask, and have fun together.
I will, thank you.
Wish me luck in 5 hours.
good luck op, but if you dont come back and tell us how it went, youre a certified faggity fag fag fagot
i mean sex is great and all, deep in a warm cocoon of vagina but its like meh unless she tight buisness
nooooooo, only a few years to become a wizard! you'll miss all the superpowers for a wet hole. think twice :)
OP, grill here.
DO NOT try to make her cum with your fingers or your mouth. Don't try to make her cum at all dude. You don't know what you're doing. You can touch the snatch with your hand or slide a finger in there but don't try to make her cum. You'll just end up being hopelessly over aggressive and determined about it and it'll be weird for everybody.
It's ok to just have regular sex and bust in 5 mins. It's even more ok if you can go with enthusiasm again 5 minutes later. If she gets uppity about you busting too quick then she's a cunt and you're better off without her.
t. chad
Post pics with timestamp after you have got sex, you overwhelming faggot, and I will trust you.
Dont stress out dude! I bet she is even more nervous than you. If youre to nervous get a boner, dont run away from her, just tell your nervous because she is so beautiful and you dont want to fuck up. It will work!
This guy knows whats up
I was a virgin until i was 24yo and a wasn't able to find the hole until she told me to go lower. This is why i started with that, this is what surprised me the most. This is SO low.
But if you had your 1st kiss a few days ago, she MIGHT suspect your lack of experience in the bedroom.
And i was kidding about the thank you but i was wondering if you were still in the thread. Good luck and try not to make too big of a deal of it. You'll have plenty of time to freak out and improve later
For him to improve? Talking is the most useful, while doing it so you can show him. "more like that, use your fingers, harder i'm not made of porcelain" What is he bad at?
Ok so here's my fool-proof 100% guaranteed guide to not only sealing the deal, but performing in such a way that it will be easier to have sex the next time. It works for virgins, it works for people in their 80s, it'll work for you and it'll leave both you and your partner completely and exhaustingly satisfied in your minds and groins. Follow these steps carefully:
1) Welcome your guest into your home. Apologize for the mess.
2) Take his/her coat (or, if in the summer, just their outermost layer of clothing). Smell it when they're not looking so your body can acclimate to their pheromones.
3) Offer them a drink - powerade, Ting, Fruitzone Blasterrrs. Something with a lot of artificial sugar in it (this won't be important later).
4) Ask your roommate Barry to please leave the living room with his goddamn papier maché art school bullshit fuck you Barry you always do this shit I told you I was having a guest over DO SOME FUCKING DISHES BARRY
5) Seat your guest amidst the old newspapers and starchy liquids and say "I'll be right back" in your most alluring voice
6) Sprint to the kitchen for the tray of cut up hot dogs, apple sauce, and Kraft American Singles you'll have prepped earlier in the day, and sprint back to the living room
7) Catch your breath and ask "Wouldst you care for some charcuterie, my dear?" She/he (or maybe it's a he-she?) will be overwhelmed by your class and begin to blush
8) In a loud voice say "OH WOW YOU'RE BLUSHING." They will be further flattered by your enthusiasm and how well you're paying attention to them.
9) While they're nibbling a section of finely cured hotdog meat, it's time to slip in the first seductive line. This one always works: "This charcuterie is pretty good, but I think you're the char-CUTEST-ie." This, gentleman, is what's referred to as a panty soaker.
10) Our current society demands that Netflix be turned on for this next part, but I find that 10 hour YLYL comps on Youtube work just as well if not better.
>con't
11) It's time for the move that you've been practicing since you noticed that Barbie doesn't have nipples. Your father's done it, his father's done it, every one of our legion ancestors has done it to their potential breeding buddy: you have to put your arm around their shoulders. You can go for the old yawn-and-stretch, but I like to just grab their shoulders suddenly with both hands so they know I'm a man of business.
12) Now that they're firmly within your grasp, its time to get playful. Touch your knee to their knee and engage in a game of light-hearted footsie. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT let them win.
13) When the game of footsie has reached fever-pitch and you're basically just kicking each other's shins, you need to start tickling them. They'll see it as a cute diversion and will say something like "Omg stop" at which point you stop immediately because no means no and Omg is my safeword
14) Ok so this next move is just as important as the arm around the shoulder, if not more so. Lay back on the couch, like all the way back. Basically lie down, maybe on the floor, and say "come say come over here." Do it with a sexy little pout, consenting adults eat that shit up
15) If you've followed all the steps so far, they should now be straddling you and you may engage in kissing, fondling, premature ejaculation etc. as you see fit. If you do see fit to prematurely ejaculate (and why shouldn't you?) just engage in the fondling and kissing for another 30 minutes or so until you're ready to fill your penis with blood again. I will now move into the lovemaking portion of my instructions
>OO LA LA
Holy kek
This is the best written, most retarded advice i read in a long time. Thank you, you badass sack of bones
16) If you are a real pimp (you're not) you will have rigged a clapper to dim the lights. You haven't done this (don't lie) but still clap when you turn the lights out, as it lends an air of ceremony to the proceedings, and if you're lucky your partner may begin clapping too because they're just so enthralled
17) Put on some sexy music, or just turn up the volume on that 10 hour YLYL comp on Youtube that we talked about earlier
18) Light some candles while doing a sexy little dance around the room. The candles should smell like your favorite desserts and the dance should inspire raw lust and a little bit of terror.
19) Remove all of your clothes as fast as humanly possible. I HIGHLY recommend practicing this beforehand, as often as possible. I do it every night before bed and I'm down to 1.3 seconds. As before, sex mates appreciate enthusiasm.
20) Shimmy on over to the bed where they're laying in wait for you. In stark contrast to your own de-robing, you need to take off their clothes as slowly as possible, with your teeth. And toes. This builds anticipation.
21) Their body is now aching with hunger for yours. Engorge your genitals. Gentlemen, we're about to go in.
22) But first wag it from side to side for them and say "Mr Penis thinks you've been very naughty." See, you're funny too! They sure have picked a good person to do the ol' hunkachunka with.
>cont.
Important, don't go right for the sex, foreplay alot before, get her wet and wanting it, also, pull her legs up so it's easier to get in and see the hole, the first time I was doing it I went in blind and was trying to push it in her clit like an idiot
samefag trying to feel good
23) I know this may sound anti-climactic (har har) but the actual sex is pretty straightforward (actually it bends to the side a little but that's normal) and we don't need to go over it in great detail. If you are at all confused about how it works, just remember that it is exactly like blowing bubbles. I know you know what that means, you meme-loving fuck.
>Bring it around town, brrring it A-rrroouuuuund town
24) Your partner is now writhing in orgasmic bliss and you yourself can imagine popping the ol' pringles can/smarties roll sometime soon (if you're still premature ejaculating, skip directly to step 73). Now we encounter a tricky, and sometimes dangerous, decision: Where should you finish? I've laid out three options and their immediate effects below.
Option A = Pull out and spray the room down with a fine mist of protobabies. This can go on your partner, on the sheets, out the window, over in the potted plant in the corner (great fertilizer!), or in a jar that has a plastic horse figurine in it. This is highly recommended.
Option B = Finish inside your partner's body cavity (whichever one you were making love to). Now this can be tricky because if your partner was born a woman, they may make another person and that person won't even be good for anything for like, years and years. You may want to leave town if you choose this option.
Option the Third = Do not finish at all. This has several advantages. One of the main ones is that your partner will feel badly that you've given them all these multiple earth-shattering orgasms (remember to bring it around town) but they couldn't make your willy sneeze, so they will want to try again. This is the sexual equivalent of negging and it absolutely, totally works. If you take nothing else from my buckets of golden advice given for free, take my word on this.
>I'm also about to finish, Oh man, Oh I'm gonna finish... con't
25) You and your new coital companion are now both saturated in sweat and gratification, thanks to me. You should open a bottle of wine or Fruitzone Blasterrrs and finish off that plate of hotdogs and applesauce. Spend a night entwined in each other's arms, and don't forget to pay them in the morning.
Now, there's several things I didn't address in my rundown, so I'll attempt to now.
Condoms: Wise, but don't. You just can't feel anything, like the rush of adrenaline I get when I'm balls deep and see a cluster of red bumps under their butt cheek. Am I going to get that? Who knows?!
Gainz: Some people are under the impression that sex is detrimental to tacking on muscle mass, but I disagree. While aerobic exercise (i.e. bringing it around town) may decrease pure mass, I find that I can counteract that effect by chugging milk during the act. Have your partner funnel milk into your mouth while they're riding you, and it's like a fun team-building exercise. You can also save gainz by choosing Option the Third in Step 24.
Love: what are you, gay?
Finally, for all my double pre-ejaculators out there, step 73) first you're gonna have to download one of those ransomware viruses, then pay the $300, then I'll tell you what step 73 is. It's totally worth; it's so good you're gonna jizz your pants and then stop jizzing your pants forever.
Welp, that's it, follow my lead and you will have the best sex that anyone has ever had except for me - I can't teach you all my secrets, as I may one day have to use them on YOU.
alldaychemist.com
Legit site. Will ship in nondescript packaging. Take 1/2 and a couple of drinks and you will probably fucker harder than she has ever been fucked before