GUYS THIS IS URGENT

GUYS THIS IS URGENT
what's the best, fastest and the most effective way to commit suicide? don't tell me to use a gun, because it's impossible for me to get one.
again, this is urgent as fuck

gun

Gun

Sounds like you probably should use a gun

nug

buy like 2 grams of heroin and take it all at once.

Eitber decapitation or asphyxiation probably

...

Have you tried a gun?

Just neck yourself m8 its faster if its from a higher place so you break your neck in the process or just suffocate

some sort of firearm

...

What about the smoke detector thing?


What happens if you eat Americium-241 from the inside of the smoke detector?

You die but it takes a long time.

That doesn't sound like a very delicious suicide. Go with nug

Electrocute yourself by getting in water and dropping a plugged-in extension cord in.

Bear in mind there is probably a circuit-breaker that could keep it from electrocuting you by blowing out the power

Feel that pulse on your neck? Take a blade to it. It takes a lot of balls, but it gets the job done.

fall in love

>i clearly have no idea how electricity works

Kek

Go into the "dark" part of town,
Start singing Johnny rebel songs at the top of your lungs
Wait

use a gun

Stabed by Jason

Pic related. I can't remember its name but google image search will probably tell you.

choke yourself by sucking your own dick

I hope I don't insult you but please don't do it. Life is beautiful and it hurts for me too more than you know but I still wanna live. The universe is perfect and the best possible thing.

I'm not OP but I want to buy a smoke detector for this.

I don't care if it is agony, I want every cell in my body destroyed beyond the point of life.

See if your cock can reach your ass...And go fuck yourself.

Smoking.

It takes a few mo ths since it's some sort of radiation poisoning. Not worth it. Just junp in front of a train or sell all your possessions like I'm doing and buy a gun.

Im surprised that there are still guys like you in suicide threads. Please do tell us, how come life is beautiful if sadness greatly outweighs happiness and why do you still want to live? is it because you have someone to live for?

Just buy some rope and hang yourself?

something about cars and CO. You simply fall asleep and die.

You won't get better advice anywhere.

Hanging isn't most popular without a reason, OP. You can also open you veins (slice your wrist under hot water, it hurt less).

>go to hood
>yell nigger
>profit

What, do you have to kill yourself before you have to go back to work on Wednesday?

Who wants to buy 300 yard of rope?
>cut it

If it's not so urgent that you have a couple days, find some place that sells tanks of pure helium, buy a breathing mask, attach it to the tank, open the valve for a steady flow but make sure not to do it with the mask already on your face as too much can blow out your lungs for a much more horrible and slow death. Your body can't tell the difference between oxygen and helium so you'll just slowly get deprived of air and fall asleep. It's important for the mask to secured properly so it won't fall off midway leaving you with crippling brain damage.
Also, many places mix air into their helium to stop people from using it to stop people from doing this so you should make sure it's pure. If they ask for a reason make something up related to a college physics project or something.

yo add my snapchat and send me whatever you feel like sending. Clernt

jump in front of a car on the freeway

if you really want to kill yourself you'll do it

otherwise finding something incredibly high and jump

you'll pass out before you hit the ground

Yeah sure, but I would probably be more comfortable by hanging myself. Jumping from a tree or kicking a chair seems more doable then cutting myself, personally

yo Add me on snapchat as well dertysam send me ur best shit

ITT "muh gun"
Obtain Nembutal.
Fuck these gun faggots m8.

if you know a farmacy that doesn't give a fuck ask them for a bunch of insuline, plug about 1cm into a seringe and then straight into a vein

op here
this is my favorite one so far. it's bloody and hopefully traumatizing for anyone who will find my body.
also, no offense, but go fuck yourself. the universe is total shit, the whole humanity is fucked up and my life is absolutely fucking awful.
still, keep this thread going, im curious what else you guys can suggest

This

>being suicidal but too lazy/autistic to even spell pharmacy correctly

do it faggot

call the police on yourself about some dude harrising people with a gun. Once the police come get them worried and pull out a toy gun. A black kid did it out where I live and he had a suicide note in his jacket.

>and hopefully traumatizing for anyone who will find my body

What a little gay baby looking for attention. If you're even half the person they are you'll find the most unobstructive way to off yourself.

DRINK VODKA UNTIL YOU DIED

put on a sombrero and dance autistically around border patrol

I have one.

NOT THIS. No joke I literally almost died from kettle one vodka last night and I swear to you it was more painful than being stomped to death

he isnt looking for attention he wants to trigger normalfaggots like you

yeah, i know, im an attention whore, but i honestly don't give a slightest fuck anymore. i just really want to die and make it at least a little bit shocking

do you own a toaster and a tub? You can make pretty decent soup if you combine the two.

This. Fucking NEMBUTAL.
you Sup Forums faggots never change, its all "blow your fucking face off" but no mention of a rational method of suicide, you people are animals.

Shooting yourself worked for my cousin and dads

Why not die in a much more productive way instead of going like a worthless piece of shit? You'll just be literal dead weight, pathetic. Die trying something extra or join the military and get shot in the skull or blown up. It might take longer but hey if its what you want do it, unless you're too much of a cunt.

>you'll pass out before you hit the ground

Yeah, everyone who's done it says so.

>find extremely heavy object and put inside suitcase
>secretly tie rope to said object
>have rope tied to leg and hide from pedestrian view
>find a dock and or ledge to open part of water
>act like you need help lifting object to throw into water
>some user comes up and helps
>suitcase goes overboard
>rope takes you over and into bottom of river
>die from breathing water
>hint: pedestrian was accessory to murder

oP you faggot, if u a woman just get laids and you'll dieeeeed

Just dissolve yourself in acid

This

One litre vodka enema.

Gas
Under
Nose

If someone wants to just quit living that's their own choice, but leave other people out of it. Everyone has it rough and making more problems for the people around you is just being an asshole. He sounds like a real whiny bitch and probably already causes them problems by existing. The sooner he's gone, and with the least fuss, the better.

If y wanna be fancy

SOUNDS LIKE A FUCKING NORMALFAGGOT TO ME!
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE GET THE FUCK OFF THIS THREAD CUCKBOY

Do you wanna me to kill you, OP???

REEEEEEEEEEEEE FUCK YOU FAGGOTS THIS IS THE ONLY EXEMPTABLE ANSWER
You edgelords are disgusting.

whatever you decide to do, go out with your dick in your hand and a nine inch dick up your ass, like a man.

Kabob yourself on daddys cock after filling up on his good good juice :)

I saw a news article just after valentines day. He died by masturbation and reached a total of 47 times in a row.

Hes set a record to try and beat OP and a challenge has been issued!

Not trying to sound like a moralfag.. but just TRY at least try to remember a time when you were genuinely happy and at peace inside. It might have been for only 1 day or only an hour or one afternoon. Your 12th birthday, getting that awesome gift as a kid. Your first kiss, getting your first car and having that amazing feeling of freedom! a beautiful walk through nature ect. but just try to remember that moment, focus on how good it felt and remind yourself that you CAN and most likely WILL feel those kinds of joy again. Unless you murdered someone and are looking at a life sentence your life can be fixed. All situations good or bad are almost always temporary. It might not be right now, or even that soon from now. But if you rage quit life you can assure yourself one thing, that forsure you will NEVER have joy again, you'll never have pain again either I understand I've been on the verge of killing myself these past due months due to jail/legal problems and this is thought process is the only thing that's keeping me going. It's your decision really but don't kill yourself until you've at least relived all your happiest moments you owe it to yourself.

OP, however you decide to do it, please livestream it for us, your Sup Forumsros

cant type this out i gotta screenshot it because the system is autismo

>not lighting yourself on fire with gasoline and jumping off a building
Are you even trying?

Please livestream it, that'd actually be quite shocking and unique.

this

>implying any user on this site has ever kissed anyone ever
There's the door, normalfaggot.

Make your suicide like a little game, light yourself on fire and begin to furiously masturbate if u die before you finish, you will then know you were just a shitty millennial

I think you should consider using a gun man. There's no other way.

...

Just put a bag over your head and tie it and keep breathing. Btw why is it so urgent? Did you murder someone and your on the run from the cops lol

why do normies get trips but oldfags post several times and are lucky to get dumbs

>too autistic to type dubs correctly

Only summerfags post pepe reactions. I've been posting here daily since 2009 I fucking hate normalcunts and I have been kissed if you must know I had to wait until I was 22 and assumed he hasn't been kissed he most certainly will never get the chance if he's a fucking pile of ash or some shit.

exit bag with nitrogen instead of helium
/thread

Just trying to be a realist.

i need to die as soon as possible to avoid causing further problems and suffering both for myself and literally everyone around me.

>Only summerfags post pepe reactions.
greetings i see you're new here
have a seat right over in the lurkers corner

and why exactly is this? I hope your making a logically choice and not an emotionally one. I mean logically we have no reason to live at all you WILL die one day from something, that's just a fact. At least get some fun and enjoyment out of it first.

you didnt cause suffering for that fly so theres still hope for you

Pepe is cancer, I don't give a fuck what you newfags think.

FUCKING NEWFAG AND A NORMIE LOOOL BACK TO FACEBOOK KID REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Just die

top kek.
literally every single person who knows me thinks im useless and a waste of space, so im just gonna do them a favor.
also, "fun and enjoyment". this isn't gonna happen, because, since im a fucking cringy edgelord, i regret every moment of happiness and suffer from a permanent moral hangover. it's driving me fucking crazy