She will never beat you up

>she will never beat you up

>Muh people

*braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap*

...

>she will never straddle you while demanding your name, rank and division

Thank goodness for that. I hate getting beaten up.

...

how do I trick my gf into beating me up?
I've asked her to do it but she keeps crying and saying she could never hurt me.
Is there a way for women to kind of man up and be aggressive or do they have to be born that way?

cheat on her and then suggest she give you a disciplinary session.
she'll probably still cry, but at least you'll get what you want.

no can do, I don't believe in sex outside of relationships much less cheating.
I've been considering getting her self-defense classes as a gift, maybe that would get her in the mindset.

you could ask her to take testosterone. I did with mine

because the dubs, i'll humor your logic.
if that's all you're going for, yeah, take some krav maga classes together.
or just horse around in general.
let her win.
whatever.

JDIMSA

tell her you cheated on her.. dope

...

>mfw my gf is into MMA and I pretend to be into it too so we can spar and I get to live out my beating women and being beat by women fantasies at the same time and its not weird or creepy (but embarrassing I'm so skinny a girl can go toe to toe with me)

Indeed

>I hate getting beaten up.

I already explained she cries at even the idea of hurting me, how do you think she'd act if I told her that?
When her nan died I literally had to take time off work to console her.

Unless they're already violent you can't make someone be violent without seriously fucking up that relationship first. Just get a new chick that don't mind beating you, but be warned: She won't mind beating you.

>it's an Alien from another planet/galaxy speaks better English than the Russians episode

Lock her in the basement and lace her water with lsd while depriving her of sleep. Only feed her if she punches you. After months of this conditioning she will beat you to death.

Trust me, I've done this before

>Claudia Black will never subdue you by literally busting your balls
JUST

>when an user asks you to trust that he has been beaten to death before

i wish i could stop me from beating myself up over mistakes i made years ago

>she will beat you to death
>trust me I've done this before

>I'm so skinny a girl can go toe to toe with me

For your sake I hope you never go to prison.

>she will never do the tongue thing on your peener

>you will never be the reason she feels safe after waking up from a nightmare because of the horrors she suffered

Back to the trek thread, only gateposting is welcome here

That's because waking up next to any one of us would be one of those horrors she suffered.

>she will never read you The Mysteries of Udolpho while you caress and worship her feet.