DUI thread. I have driven while over the legal blood-alcohol limit more than 1000 times. In fact...

DUI thread. I have driven while over the legal blood-alcohol limit more than 1000 times. In fact, I did it again about an hour ago. Never been caught. AMA.

...

Ablett goal!!!!

Also I'd say I'm about on par, i drink at mates places 3-4 times a week and drive home pissed.

I drive while tripping acid

I had to pick my mum up and was high as fuck once
stopped by an RBT and got through fine

Nice work. If you drive a car that does not attract the piggies, and you can handle your piss, you're sweet 99.99% of the time.

a thousand times? How fucking old are you? I've done it probably 300 or so times. What do you do it every day? So basically...you're bragging about being an alcoholic. I mean, even if you drank 3 times a week and drove every single time that would take 6 years...

I've also done it frequently and never been caught. The worst was driving home from a college football game:

>drink constantly from 9am-7pm (gametime) at tailgate party
>make it to the game
>throw up on the girl in front of me shortly before halftime
>get thrown out, they are about to call police over to arrest me for public intoxication
>apologize profusely and claim it was the heat, haven't been feeling well all day, by the way my dad is a booster here he'd be so ashamed if I got arrested etc
>they let me go
>head back to my car
>drink a couple more beers that I stole from someone's cooler that just left it laying around
>get in
>back out too fast, break someone's tail light
>i ignore it, get on the road and drive
>guy in front of me stops in middle of an intersection trying to make a left turn
>I plow into the back of him
>he's pissed, tells me to get out of the car
>try and say we should pull over into the nearby parking lot
>he agrees
>just drive past it after he pulls in
>couple lights later, he catches up to me at a red light
>comes at me with a stun gun screaming at me to get out of the car
>i'm laughing and tell him no
>floor it when the light turns green
>lose him on some back roads
>make it home and take a breathalyzer just out of curiosity
>0.23, must have been 0.25+ when I started driving

any other time of day I'd probably have been fucked, but fortunately on football game days, pretty much the entire police department is working in the stadium

ever hear of a thing called hyperbole?

So, you're an alcoholic? Good job bro.

>a thousand times?

At least. Possibly 1500 times. During my 20s I did it on average around twice a week.

>How fucking old are you?

50

>What do you do it every day?

No.

> So basically...you're bragging about being an alcoholic.

Not bragging. Just stating a fact and offering to answer questions.

Cheers m8

you need to give my aunt some tips on how not to get caught. She's been arrested 5 times for DUI within the past few months.

I have no idea how she isn't locked up. The worst she's gotten is a couple weeks in jail and some time on house arrest (she had a friend bring her alcohol so it was hardly a punishment).

Ever hear of a thing called understanding the English language? If he was being hyperbolic he would have said "I've done it 1000 times," not "more than 1000 times."

I live on back roads north of Toronto and drive with beers all the time. Good times.

get back to me when you drive with bears instead of beers, maybe then i'll be impressed

>you need to give my aunt some tips on how not to get caught.

Well, she's female, and behind the wheel, that's a problem. For everyone else, obey the road rules. Drive inconspicuously. If you can, drive at peak times (7am-9am, 4pm-6pm). Needle in a haystack, wot? Also, if you are on a main road, try to position yourself at the rear, and in the outside lane, of a group of cars. If you encounter a booze bus, this will help you avoid being one of the cars pulled over. And if you are pulled over, hyperventilate. Breathe deeply and quickly in the time before you breathe into the bag. This technique really works and has saved my ass twice.

For the record, my latest DUI adventure (tonight) followed the consumption of 3 x Southwark Stout (total of 6.6 standard drinks), plus half a bottle of Shiraz (4 standard drinks), plus half a bottle of Stone's Mac (6 standard drinks).

What's it like knowing that everyone around you, everyone you've ever known or come into contact with can't stand the sight of you?

Maybe if we're all lucky, you'll hit a light pole and die.

......Just poked down my third Captain Morgan 6% can. One to go and then bed-time. No more driving tonight.

That's a bit harsh. Why does my hobby trigger you so?

As it happens, I have been driving for 32 years, with not one at-fault collision. I monitor my own capacity to drive, rather than letting the law do my thinking for me. My record speaks for itself. I am likely a safer driver while over the limit than you are while under it.

You know you're a complete cunt right? You do? You do don't you?

>You know you're a complete cunt right?

As opposed to a partial cunt?

What I am is living proof that DUI laws are aimed at the lowest common denominator. That is, the young, female, Asian driver who can't hold her booze. Those who can drive, and can hold their piss, are free to self-assess and drive accordingly. This is what I do.

I did that once too, but considered myself unfit to drive. Parked it and walked to the the pub.

kek. Nice work.

Extremely reckless female drunk driving aside, you're giving yourself way too much credit jackass. It's about 5% skill and 95% luck whether or not you get a DUI

Truth

Yeah I thought I'd get away with it forever too. All it took was a blown third brake light and a young cop. That's the shit that will get you. But it could have been worse, someone could have hit me and it would have been pinned on me for being drunk. You don't want to deal with getting caught op, trust me.

My stats clearly disprove your guess. Don't presume that the state-ordained BAC limit is akin to something carved in stone. Look at it as a suggestion.

Same, ur not special user. Stop drinking .

Congrats on your successful DD career. I made no claim to being special. I choose to keep drinking for I enjoy it.

Yea the state's limit is an arbitrary bullshit number. Some people are fine to drive at that level and some people (mostly women) are totally sloppy at a 0.03
That's why you can get a dui even if you're under the limit.

It doesn't trigger me, only the people around you.

Fuck you. I drive after drinking frequently, but I'm not retared enough to actually cause accidents. If it were me you hit you'd be in jail, like you should be

And fuck you too

Hey jitbag why am I reading about it. If you're holy user asshole isn't so special why are you posting about it

>why are you posting about it
This is the question that need never be asked on Sup Forums. It's Sup Forums. Random. Anything goes.

>It doesn't trigger me
Sure it does. That's why you wrote this:
>What's it like knowing that everyone around you, everyone you've ever known or come into contact with can't stand the sight of you?